Finding The Way Back To Love (Lakeside Porches 3) (14 page)

Blue jays shrilled from the island and chickadees chattered on the right. The only other sound was the rhythmic slicing of the paddles as they glided through the water.

“Any rocks or hazards I should be watching for?”

“None at all. And Phil’s beach will be a sandy landing. Any water coming through the seams?”

“We’re good up here. You?”

“The old canoe is seaworthy, hooray.”

“You and Peter need to get it out for a few adventures.”

She chuckled lustily. “That we do.”

When Haley carried her bundle up the steps to Phil’s big lakeside porch, he teased her through the screen door, “What have you got there, Miss Haley?”

Her laugh bubbled up. “Cookies for Gwen’s favorite neighbor.”

“Did you make them yourself?”

“Not this batch, but Rick and I are on cookie baking duty this afternoon.”

Phil held the door open for her. “It appears you two made something else together.” He directed his gaze to her belly.

“We did.” Haley planted a kiss on his scratchy cheek. “I got drunk and forgot my pills and”—she sucked in a breath—“eight months later we’ve decided to give up our baby to a couple that’s been trying for years to have a baby of their own.” She brushed at the tears on her face.

Phil ushered her into his old-fashioned kitchen and held out a chair for her at the scarred oak farm table. “I’ll pour the tea, and you tell me whatever you want to tell me, sweetheart. But promise you won’t eat all the cookies before I get a couple.”

Haley laughed tearfully as she lifted back the corners of the dishtowel to reveal the last dozen peanut butter cookies. “I hope you like PB.”

“PB is my second favorite,” Phil told her as he poured iced tea into two tall glasses, “behind molasses-raisin. But you could come here empty handed, and I’d be just as pleased.”

Haley clinked her glass against his. “To friendship,” she toasted.

“To friendship. So, is your boyfriend coming in the canoe with Gwen?”

“He is. They’re testing it to be sure it’s seaworthy. Then Gwen wants to take some long, private paddles with her new boyfriend Peter.”

“Ah, the handsome young cop who’s new in town.”

Haley marveled, “How do you know that?”

“The AA grapevine. I have big ears. Did you know men over the age of seventy are invisible?”

Haley broke a cookie in half. “You probably know more secrets than anyone else in Tompkins Falls.” She took a bite and hummed with pleasure.

“I probably do,” he said, “and I never divulge anything told to me in confidence.”

Haley shifted on her chair. “That’s my cue, right?”

“Smart girl.” Phil chuckled.

“Only when I’m sober,” she amended. “My mother is crazy and my father is an ex-drunk. I think I got the drunk part.”

“It’s possible,” Phil equivocated.

Haley couldn’t meet his eyes. “Do you think I need to tell any of that to the new parents?”

Phil drew in a long, pensive breath, held it, and let it out slowly. He patted her hand. “Maybe fifteen or twenty years from now, if they have cause to ask.”

Haley fixed him with a serious eye. “Really, truly?”

“It is a dilemma, Haley, but that’s my best answer. However, if you were drinking during your pregnancy, at all, I’d have a different answer. Then your baby would be at risk of fetal alcohol syndrome, which is very serious. You would need to disclose that upfront.”

Haley exhaled with relief. “No, I stopped after that eggnog fiasco the night I got pregnant. And I got morning sickness pretty quick so I figured I might be pregnant and knew not to drink or drug at all. I changed a
lot
of habits then.” She smiled at Phil. “Thank God.”

Phil’s face brightened. “You are sunshine when you smile like that.” He savored a bite of cookie. “Is that all that’s on your mind?”

She drank some tea before asking, “How do you know if you’re an alcoholic?”

“Well, I can tell you how I knew, and I can steer you to a few pages in one of Gwen’s books that will help you answer that question.”

“How did you know you were one?”

“A few things happened. I picked up a drink one New Year’s Eve, blacked out, and came to the next morning in Buffalo in some woman’s bed.”

“Let me guess. She wasn’t your date.”

Phil grimaced. “Nor was she my wife, who was frantically calling the police and the hospitals around Rochester, hunting for my body, hoping I was still alive so she could kill me herself.”

“You loved Edie, didn’t you, Phil?”

“More than myself. More than alcohol. And I’m so blessed that she took me back after a month in rehab. But that incident made me see clearly what had happened over and over again. As soon as I picked up the first drink, I had no control. Our first step in the AA program says we admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable. Based on the evidence, I knew I was an alcoholic.”

Haley looked him in the eye. “I took a cup of spiked eggnog and ended up pregnant. And it wasn’t the first time I’d had a drink without intending to and went on to drink more without wanting to.”

“Did you know it was spiked?”

Haley rolled her eyes. “I knew I was at a party with no parent supervision, but I told myself it couldn’t possibly hurt. Yes, I knew. And I knew I’d left my pills back in the dorm a week earlier. But I felt awkward and I knew a drink would help me relax.” She puffed out her frustration. “I barely remember the rest of the night.” She rested her hand on her belly. “But there was no way to explain away the pregnancy.”

“Your young man has stood by you?”

Haley pursed her mouth. “I pushed him away until last week. I didn’t want him to know, because I was afraid he’d quit school. And because I was ashamed.”

“Haley.” Phil tested his voice to be sure it was kind. “That must have hurt him terribly.”

“Yeah.” Haley swallowed and licked her lips.

“Are you in agreement about the adoption?”

She nodded. “But it’s really hard.” She choked on a sob.

Phil let her cry for a bit before telling her, “You know, Haley, one of the things I like best about the AA program is it gives us a way to clean up all that wreckage and lead a better life. I had thirty years of wreckage to clean up by the time I woke up in Buffalo with Susie Q. And I’ve had thirty years to enjoy sobriety, twenty-five of them with Edie. It turns out that, although our disease is progressive, so is our recovery. Not a bad deal.”

Haley sat up straighter and challenged, “Even if you’re young?”

“You don’t have to wait thirty years to get sober. I sponsor a young man of thirty-one who’s been sober—I mean continuous sobriety—for fifteen years.”

“Whoa. That’s cool.”

“And it’s a lot of hard work,” Phil added. “Sweetheart, you can check us out any time and join us any time. You might want to try a couple of meetings while you’re in Tompkins Falls.”

“You really think that would be okay? Even if I don’t know for sure?”

Phil looked into her doubt-filled, brown eyes and smiled warmly. “It would be more than okay.” He shrugged. “And think about talking to Gwen, if you haven’t already.”

“Maybe I will.”

“Ahoy!” Rick’s shout made them laugh. “The Green Lizard has come ashore.”

Phil and Haley locked eyes. “Green Lizard?” they chorused.

“He must be joking,” Phil quipped. “No one would name a canoe the Green Lizard.”

“My father might.”

“If your cheerful hello is any clue,” Peter said, “things at the Forrester house are way better than yesterday.”

Gwen’s mouth stretched in a grin and her insides did a happy dance. “Everyone’s full of energy and good cheer. Rick and Haley have a new batch of cookies for you. Can you come for supper?”

“Best offer I’ve had since you offered furniture from the attic for my guest bedroom. In fact, I thought I’d come by soon and take a look. That is, if the offer still stands.”

“Of course it does. Come now. Rick will lend a hand with the hauling if you find some pieces you like.”

“I’ve been thinking, though”—his voice grew serious—“we need to make this a business transaction.”

“Oh.” Gwen started. “Okay, if you want. How about you pay me a dollar for each item you take?”

“I was thinking of pricing things as though for a garage sale or even an estate sale.”

“That would take so much work right now. I’ll save that step for the actual garage sale, and maybe you can help me do the research, when the time comes. How does that sound?”

“I appreciate that, and I accept your terms. One dollar each. And you have veto power if I unearth some treasure you didn’t realize was up there under the rafters.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

Gwen did a quick check to make sure she was alone. “You drive a hard bargain, Officer Shaughnessy,” she said in a sexy voice.

“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, ma’am.”

At that moment, the timer for the last batch of cookies buzzed and Haley materialized with Rick on her heels.

“Hold that thought,” Gwen told Peter.

“That’s a lot of roof.” Peter gawked at the peaks and rafters above the main section of Gwen’s old house, before heading to the left, through stacks of file boxes. “Must cost a bundle to keep it in repair.”

“I’m sure.” Rick waded into the hodge-podge of appliances, unlabeled boxes, and old lamps that lounged in armchairs. “Haley said Gwen put a lot into the place before she moved back, after her parents and her husband died. New roof, insulation, and windows. She made the lakeside porch into an all-weather oasis. And that kitchen. You’ve seen how functional that is.”

“Best room in the house. It’s no mystery why everyone congregates there. The mystery is why she wants to live out here, so isolated, especially when the place requires so much upkeep.”

“She loves it,” Rick said with a shrug. “It makes her feel connected to her family, even though they’re gone. And the property is primo. Great view of the lake, her own launch ramp, her own beach. I’m sure she’d get a couple million for it if she wanted to sell.”

“Even with that killer road?”

Rick snorted. “If it were me, I’d have re-engineered that road before I tore apart the kitchen.” He came to a halt and put his hands on his hips. “What am I trying to find?”

“Furniture for a second bedroom for my sister, Bree.” Peter came to a wall and checked around him. “Everything over here is clothing racks,” he said dismissively. “She likes antiques, I think, but she’s not a girly girl, so nothing too fussy.”

“Well, I’ve got some old dressers and bedframes over here,” Rick called. “Might do the job for you.”

“Hold up your hand.” Peter spied a hand waving in front of a cobweb-covered window. He found a direct route. “Bonanza,” he agreed.

After examining four old dressers, he settled on a tall cherry chest with smooth-running drawers and a bedside chest that matched. “These are great. But I can’t let Gwen give them to me for a buck each.”

Rick shrugged. “She offered. Unless she decides she wants them, I wouldn’t argue.”

“Maybe. So, what’s our plan, partner? Clean them off first or haul them down to the garage?”

“I say haul. Any old rags up here are probably vintage clothing that someone would be happy to buy.”

“And I was just going to clean off that window with this.” He held up a gray coat with a flannel lining.

“No way, man, that’s a waxed cotton hunting jacket. That would bring a lot at a garage sale.”

“How do you even know that?”

“My grandfather in Watervliet used to hunt fowl and small game to feed the family. I remember when he found a coat like that at an estate sale, he grabbed it up for a song, said it was worth a lot. It kept him dry and warm out there in the field. That’s all I know. I was just a little guy then. He died not long after.”

“So what happened to the coat?”

“My grandmother probably sold it at a garage sale for way more than a song.” Rick shrugged. “Did you need a bedframe? This metal one is newer, but the hardwood next to it is also in good shape.” The metal frame was adjustable and sturdy. “Could work for a twin or double mattress.”

Peter crouched down and rubbed dust off the hardwood frame. It was a match for the dressers, but it was made for a queen-size bed. He might want it for his own queen-size bed. In fact, he might want to swap out his furniture to Bree’s room and claim the cherry pieces for himself. That wasn’t in the spirit of Gwen’s offer. He hedged, “Let’s find the headboards first.”

In the end they found a pretty, carved oak headboard for a twin bed. It would go well with the dresser and chair he had in his bedroom now, and he would just need a twin mattress to finish Bree’s room.

The cherry headboard was queen-size with carved pineapples at each corner.

“Wow,” Rick declared. “That’s for you and Gwen.”

Gwen padded down the stairs, fresh from her late-afternoon shower. She always stopped at the end of the workday, sluiced away any lingering frustration or anxiety, and turned over her clients to her God for another day.

The house was cool and quiet. Haley had yelled to her, just before her shower, that she and Rick were heading out for a walk. No bangs or bumps sounded overhead, so she assumed Peter had finished with his furniture hunt.

Good smells drew her to the kitchen. She cracked opened the oven door and spied a pan of bubbling eggplant parmesan. Phil had sent them home with two beautiful eggplants from his garden and “Edie’s secret recipe.” Gwen salivated as she inhaled the aroma of cheesy vegetables and herbs.

Cookies sat on cooling racks, although they were already cold to the touch. She sampled one while she packaged them, half-dozen at a time.