Fiona Love (24 page)

“Are you gonna break
my heart again?” he whispered.

She shook her
head no.

“Say it,” he ordered.

“I would never hurt you, Daney. I never did.”

He shut his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. Seconds seemed to tick audibly
by. “You never slept with him.”

“Never even
kissed him off the set.”

Something loosened inside him, and he laughed
. “Jesus, I wanna believe you.”

“Then do,” she said, and she wore the most ser
ious expression he’d ever seen.

He stared at her, but her gaze never wavered. Finally he sighed. He leaned in to kiss her gently, but gripped her as if she’d slip away if he didn’t hold tight. Fiona wrapped hi
m in her arms, whispered all night, and somehow managed to convince him what she said was true.

They touched and kissed for hours, and when Daney finally dropped off, he slept contentedly for the first time in months. But in the morning, even with the warmth of her body right next to his, the doubts returned. For the first time e
ver in her bed, he pulled away.

He shook
her awake. “What about Natty?”

Fiona sighed and covered her eyes with
her forearm. “I’ma tell him.”

H
e pulled her arm down. “Today?”

She nodded.

“Did you sleep with him since you’ve been back?”

She nodded again. Raised a brow when he glared at her. She propped herself up on her elbow. “I know you don’t think I was
supposed to sit up in this bitch and pine for you,” she laughed mean. “I had no idea you’d ever come back. None! I was still comin’ down off seein’ you when I was sick, and realizing how much I still loved you. Then he called.”

Daney wondered if she knew that was the first time she’d ever told him she loved him. Well, she had one other time, but she’d got him to say it first. He hated himself, but he had to ask
,

“How could you find someone to replace m
e so quick? Were there others?”

Fiona wasn’t expecting that question, and Daney knew it. He sprung it on her deliberately, watching heartlessly as she gaped. She shook her head and said nothing, but he
wouldn’t let her off the hook.

“Well?”

Fiona sighed. “Well what?”

“Tell me.”

“No!”
Just Natty
. But she instinctively held the words back.

“How could you replace me so fast?” he insisted, some d
evil prompting him to push her.

“I don’t
know!” she said irritably. “He knows me. He’s my friend. I find him very attractive. We were in each other’s company a lot, and you made me lonely,” she accused. She unkinked her neck and rolled her shoulders. “He’s a good man. Sweet and smart. He loves me.”

“You don’t love him.”

“No,” she said slowly. “Not the way I love you.”

“But you kept fucking
him.”

“Of course! He’s great.”

A vein ticked visibly in Daney’s jaw.

“I’d always rather be with great than be alone thinking about you and how you left me. Or maybe you think I should just look at pictures of you with other women, and read how you out havin’ a good t
ime gettin’ on with your life?”

He ignor
ed that. “So, was it just sex?”

“No!” Fio
na shook her head stubbornly, hopped up before he could grab her and stalked to the desk and her ash tray. “Natty talks to me. We talk to each other. We have a lot in common.”

“You’re talking about race.”

Fiona shrugged. “Yeah, but that’s not all. He’s a musician. We’ve known each other for years. We know a lot of the same people. We talk,” she repeated.

“We talk,
” he said after awhile.

“N
ot as much,” she said coldly.

He stared at her, loving and hating the way she leaned against the bureau, joint dangling, naked brea
sts pushed up by crossed arms.

“We fuck,” Fiona told him bluntly. The rasp of her lighter seemed loud in the silence. “Tha
t’s our best thing.”

“That’s a shitty thin
g to say.” His voice was quiet and flat, hurt.

“It’s the truth though,” she laughed softly. “Natty’s big on the truth,” she said deliberately.

“Truth?” He glared at her coldly. “What the hell do you care about the truth? I haven’t slept with anyone,” and his voice rang with honesty.

She sighed
and shivered, turned away to fetch a robe. “I don’t know what you want me to say. When I came home, I was low. I’d been thinking about you nonstop. How you looked sittin’ on the side of my bed. How you saved me. Bringing that doctor when I thought I’d go out of my mind. I was so exhausted, practically crazed. I felt like shit. All those months apart and I realized I was still sprung, and I was alone.”

There was a long pause as she inhaled. “Then I came home, and he was so happy to see me! So worried about me. I was lonely,” she said again, looking off into space. “I couldn’t resist him.” She raised her head and caught his eye. “I didn’t want to. Not even when I was thinking about you,” she added. “Wondering if I was cruel to keep this lovely man whe
n my heart was somewhere else.

“And I decided, yeah,”
she said, tossing her head and displaying a trace of the steel that had helped make her what she was. “I’ma keep him, ‘cause I don’t intend to live my life alone.”

“Now, I’m back,” he said, voice even
colder and flatter than before.

“Yes.”

“And you’ll tell him today.”

“Yes.”

******

Natty kissed her when he let her into his apartment later that morning and kn
ew instantly what had happened.

“You’re back together.”

Fiona sighed and turned away. God, she didn’t wanna do this. What the hell was gonna happen?

“Is he here?”

“Yeah.”

“Did
you stay with him last night?”

Fiona cleared
her raspy throat. “Yeah.”

“You sound like you’ve been smoking,” he said,
leaning back against the wall.

“I haven’t, much,” she said, voice breaking. “I’ve been crying.” And the tears began to fall again. She turned away but he turned her back and forced
her chin up to face him.

“Open y
our eyes and look at me, girl.”

Fiona obeyed, her brown eyes awash with tears, lower lip actua
lly trembling she was so upset.

Natty took her in his arms. “It’s okay,” he soothed, pulling her close. “It’s not that I’m not sad. I fuckin’ am,” he laughed, cradling her gently. His hips bumped smoothly against hers, his knees automatically dipped so he could catch her right where – he caught himself. “I’m probably gon’ kick myself later for takin’ the punk ass high road
and making this easy for you, but I knew you were in love with him.”

“I love you,” she said, cl
utching the front of his shirt.

He stroked her back tenderly, sadly. “I know it.” He spoke slowly, dragging out the moment when she’d say goodbye. “And I love you, but you’re in love with him.” He sighed and rubbed her bottom lip with his thumb. “I make music, honey. I hear about this shit all th
e time. I know the difference.”

She laughed shakily, and kissed the pad of his finger. Her hands ran over his flesh, and his skin fairly sizzled in response. He wondered if she had any idea how good she felt in his arms. Fiona did thing
s to his blood. She always had.

“I’m
gon’ miss you,” she said sadly, and his heart thumped in thanks.

“You have no idea. But you’ll see me during the day when we’re working,” he said, kissing her forehead like a brother. “And it will feed your heart’s obsession with me,” he said, in a vampire’s lisp, and squeezed
her not like a brother at all.

Fiona issued a strangled sound somewhere between a laugh and a cry, and whispered aga
inst his lips, “I feel so bad.”

He pushed her way and rolled his eyes.
“Don’t do that. You know me. Don’t play me, woman.”

“You can’t tell when I’m tellin’ the truth?”

Natty snorted and walked away, both hands making silky curls stand on end atop his head.

“Why should I make this easy for you?” He said, mean, but she could see the sad smile in his eyes.

“’Cause you love me.”

“So?”

“So, it ain’t just about sex, or me goin’ elsewhere to get it.”

He closed his eyes, nostrils flaring when she
walked back into his arms. “You know I hate yo’ ass for bein’ right, right? As much as I want you for me, it ain’t about that.” He smiled slightly, stroked her face with his large, warm palm. “I’m so tempted to run some game right now, you have no idea. I ain’t no little nigga, you know.”

She lau
ghed, watery but real.

“But it wouldn’t do me no good. You love him,” he said
. “He treats you good. He makes you happy. That’s all that matters.”

“I love you,” she whispered, leaning her head against his che
st. “I love you,” she repeated.

“Good,” he s
aid, and with a bruised and heavy heart beneath his smiling face, he prepared himself to send her back to Daney.

“One last kiss?” she asked, not waiting for a
n answer as she sank into him. Her breath left her on one of those tuneful sighs that never failed to stir his cock. He couldn’t help but kiss her back. He kissed her for some moments before pulling away.

Fiona re
sted her forehead against his.

“You make me feel s
o good,” she whispered, her kiss gentle against his nose, familiar on his eyes. “We got something special. You know that?”

He nodded
and his hands came up to hold hers.

“You were not a convenience. It wasn’t proximity while we were working. It wasn’t rebound. What we had was real.” Her voice broke, and she tipped her head back to let the tears run into her hair. “It was sudden, but we fit.
It was real,” she repeated. “Maybe it was always gonna happen,” she laughed, and he smiled back mirthlessly.

She held h
im like she couldn’t help it. “You push me and hold me at just the right time.” She inhaled deep to capture his smell this close.

“You do the same for me,” he admitted, quietly reveling in her touch. This was something he loved about her. Fiona held him completely. Not just with her arms and body, she used her neck, face and legs, her flesh rolling over his as though she
would squeeze him into herself. Sometimes it felt so right when they touched he’d have sworn he could feel her spirit through her skin.

He pulled h
er closer, cradling her with hips and erection. “Everything with you is so natural and easy.” He rubbed the baby soft hair at the nape of her neck, kneading away the tension he felt there.

This
will probably be one of the last times I ever get to touch that soft secret hair.

His
fingers clenched unconsciously around the strands. Fiona winced, then grinned when he murmured an apology.

He held her close.
He could have been lying down beside her a week ago so content was his body. His blood, his skin, had wandered away from what the embrace meant. His mind flashed back to a concert DVD she’d done a few years ago. There was one song, “I Promise,” a very sexy, up tempo love song, heavy on the bass and heated innuendo.

When she performed it the music seemed to take over her body. Loose, each limb, each gesture se
emed to have words. In through the eyes and ears she’d cast her spell, but her body signed the deal.

Now, as she gently rubbed herself
against him, he knew he would never forget her. His heart clenched, and he cleared his throat softly to clear away the sadness. She must have felt it because for a moment she squeezed him tighter.

“And you’re very
sexy,” she teased.

He massaged the base of her scalp where he’d pu
lled her hair and slowly leaned down to rub his nose against hers.

“You don’t get this kinda connection very often.” She stroked his chest
, her short nails scratching gently, fondly through the soft hair there. “If he didn’t have my heart, there’s no way I’d let you go.” Fiona nuzzled his neck. “I’m gon’ miss you,” she said again, trying to smile through a fresh bath of tears.

He nodded, but couldn’t manage a smile. “Out,” he told her, with a firm smack on her ass. “Before Hallmark tries to sue us for stealing some of their cheese. Lemme know when you’re ready to come back to the studio.” With a last lingering kiss on her parted lips, he put her
gently out, and shut the door.