Fire & Ice (8 page)

"I don't believe that. You wouldn't be helping me if you were incapable of humanity, with or without whatever blood supplements you're taking. Maybe if you didn't think that about yourself
,
you could see what I do."

Staring into her eyes, I caught a glimpse of her mind. Oddly enough, she saw me in a light I wasn't aware of. Every kind word she uttered, every stolen kiss or touch, she truly meant. Her emotions weren't simply an overreaction; they were a personification of her innermost desires.

"Maybe," I whispered.

"You know that doesn't really mean anything
,
"
s
he crossed her arms over her chest.

"What?"

"The word maybe. It doesn't mean anything. It's one of those words people use when they can't think of any other answer."

"Sometimes there isn't one," I challenged.

She shook her head, "There's always an answer. You just don't want to give one."

We stared each other down. I had
a
hundred years to develop my level of stubbornness, she had barely a lifetime. It was infuriating! Each step I took, she challenged me. No matter if we both knew I was right, she'd make me second guess myself. I was crazy for falling for her.

"Would you like a drink?" I asked curtly.

"Why not," she said sarcastically.

Cursing under my breath, I dashed around the house. The madder she made me, the more I wanted her. There was no questioning my insanity. Ever
y ounce of my being burned
for her, yet I didn't give in. Possibly that was what made me insane.

"I thought you took off again," she said quietly from the bed.

"Nope, I got the drinks like I said I was," I quipped.

The muscles in my back contracted wildly as her palms pressed into it. I did my best to hide my reaction, but it didn't matter. She flexed her fingers across my shoulder blades, to my biceps and turned me to face her. My jaw was tight as I stared over her head, thinking of anything other than her proximity.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you mad. Sometimes I say things I don't mean," she spoke softly.

"You don't mean?"

"Okay, I say things I shouldn't
, not that I don't mean. But do
you blame me? No matter what the question, you never have a straight answer. It's beyond frustrating!" she sighed.

"I shouldn't get angry. It seems my frustrating you is frustrating me," I slipped from her grasp and handed her a drink. Indifference was usually my best weapon. I hoped it would be.

"So, how did these other vampires help you hold onto your humanity?"
s
he settled on the bed again, I against the wall.

"First off, I had to learn to hunt all over again. It's a completely different process when you're not aiming to kill. It took a while, but I was able to change my mindset. My focus shifted from killing to sustenance, period. The things Alex told me didn't matter anymore.

"Second, it was considered breaking a law to use blood whores. They were humans who needed help, no matter how willing. Decades later, I saw the importance.
It was convenient
, but that didn't make it right. I was also explained the importance of blood bonds with humans," I shifted uncomfortably.

"What's that?"

"I suppose it's a form of ownership, but both parties are willing. Actually, it's more intense than that," I downed my liquor.

"How so?" she inclined.

"Well, er, blood bonds form a tether between the vampire and the human. Emotions and thoughts are passed between them, forging a bond of mind, body and spirit. They're forever linked. Think of it as human marriage on acid," I chuckled.

"So, you can forge a bond with a human with blood that binds you two together irrevocably?"

"More or less. There are ways to break the bond, but it is painful for both parties. That's why it's frowned upon unless sanctioned."

"Let me guess, The Council is supposed to do the sanctioning," she said sarcastically.

"Yes. Often, the petitions are approved. However, if a vampire is found to be already bound it could have consequences."

"Of course it does," she spat.

"What's the matter?"

"The Council gets on my nerves more and more each time we talk about it. They have all this power to stop people from doing the most mundane things, but they can't catch Josiah in the ac
t
. Doesn't that piss you off?" s
he started pacing the floor. Tiny sparks of irritation danced from her skin, charging the room with a hum.

"I understand the dangers in some of these things because I've lived with it for so long. In time, you'll see why they impose these rules. I do think they're out of their minds for letting Josiah go. Although I can't hate them too much because you wouldn't be here if they hadn't," I said quickly.

She stopped pacing and looked at me curiously, "I suppose that's true, but it doesn't mean it was right."

"Whether they were right or wrong doesn't really matter now," I watched as she did whatever it was to calm herself down. It was quite spectacular to see her demeanor change so drastically in a matter of seconds.

"I'm better now, you can go on. What else did you need to know?" she sat heavily on the bed.

"There were a lot of little things, but perhaps the most important was to live among humans instead of running from them. I'd been on the run for so long
,
that was probably one of the most difficult.

"I stayed with a small group of vampires
here for a while
. Following by example, I began to adopt my human habits again. When I'd remember something, I always wrote it down. I've got hundreds of journals on those shelves."

"Wait, how old are you exactly?" she mused. 

"I was born in 1890," her smile faltered slightly and I laughed.

"I didn't expect you to say that," she laughed as well.

"I'm an old man by standards you've never
imagined
. One hundred and twenty two is nothing to joke about. Actually, I'm pretty young. You don't reach old age as a vampire until you start getting closer to a thousand. I don't think I've ever met any that old, but then again we don't really talk about our age. The years tend to blend together after a while.

"That's partly why I kept the journals. I didn't want to take the chance of forgetting again. A hundred years of recording thoughts makes for a lot of noteb
ooks. Why do you think I have so
many bookshelves?"

"That's pretty cool actually. Would I be able to read them sometime?
”

“Maybe,” I looked from the corner of my eye and she frowned.

I laughed, “I’m kidding. You can read anything you want. There’s nothing in those journals I haven’t already explained. Of course, I’m skipping through time here, but a hundred years of struggle would probably take just as long to tell.”

“Have you ever written anything since we met?” she asked shyly. Not wanting to spill the beans quite so easily, I smirked.

“A journal like that wouldn’t be among the others. And, no, you couldn’t read it, even if it did exist.”

“Uh huh,” she pursed her lips. “We’ll see.”

Chapter 12

Colorado, 1980

I was finally alone again, after another twenty years of babysitting. Not that I minded the company of Desi and Luthor, but I hated having to account for every second of my day. I knew they were reporting to The Council, so I bit my tongue and went along with it.

Occasionally, I was struck with the urge to kill again, but it was short lived. Now that I knew how to feed without killing, it was senseless. Unless I was threatened, which never happened, killing a human was a sure way to die. Austin might be my friend, but he works for The Council first.

I liked being home. Wandering between states and countries was tiring, even for a vampire. I was lonely, but welcomed that as well. I’d forgotten who I was. The Christian I knew was a blood-thirsty, sex driven vampire. I didn’t want to be that
guy
anymore.

The first item on my agenda was to finally make my old home a new one. I’d sketched new blueprints for some additions, including secret passages in case I ever needed to flee. No one ever knew if a vampire would be found out, which would surely mean my death.

I didn’t venture out much, only to feed.  But, I noticed no one came my way either. There weren’t campers or hunters or anyone that trespassed on my land. I wondered if Austin had enchanted it that way or if they were really there, but Austin made it so I wouldn’t know.

After a few days of planning, I headed into town for supplies. There was no need to hire builders when I could work faster than all of them combined. At least building would keep my mind off of being alone for a while.
What I’d do when I was finished
was another story.

“Is there anything I can help you find today?” asked a very perky sales woman.

“I’m fairly new to the area. I’m building an addition onto a house I’ve purchased and need the items on this list. Could you help me with that?”  I handed it to her and watched as she melted at the sound of my voice. That never really got old.

“Of course, follow me,” she said breathlessly. I smiled mischievously as she led the way.

The rest of the shopping trip went well, lingering eyes and all. I asked the girl, whose name was Emily, to dinner that evening and she excitedly accepted. She had no clue what I was and I had no intention of her finding out. I desperately hoped we’d be having dinner together instead of it being a party of two with one leaving the table.

I picked her up for our date and headed to a local restaurant. Austin’s elixir made it easy for me to seem human, even eating regular food. When I was still human, I loved eating chicken, mashed potatoes and just about everything else my mother cooked. It was time to test out the theory of eating food instead of people.

“So, Emily, a
re you enjoying your dinner?” s
he shuddered when I said her name.

“Yes, thank you. I’m not used to going somewhere this nice. Most guys think burgers are fine dining”, she snorted.

“Well I’m not most guy,.”
I winked and her cheeks flushed. I took the flask from my jacket and sipped gingerly.

“Where did you live before you came here,” she asked as she eyed me curiously.

“Nowhere in particular. I moved around a lot. I feel like I can call Colorado home, though. How about you, have you always lived here?”

“Yes. My family owns the hardware store. We’ve owned it for years, actually. My father calls it our legacy, but
I’m hoping to move beyond that,” s
he pushed her strawberry blonde hair to the side, revealing an intriguing Celtic tattoo on the side of her neck.

“How do you plan to do that?” I leaned toward her. She seemed nervous and excited by my interest. It was empowering.

“I’m studying to be an investigative journalist. I want to move to L.A. a
nd dig up the dirt on Hollywood,” h
er eyes sparkled with excitement.

“Hmm, sounds kinda sexy,” I smirked.

She
gulped and trembled a little,
“It does?”

“Sure. A small town girl goes to
take on Hollywood and expose its
secrets. It’s compelling,” I smiled and she almost fainted in her chair.

After paying the check, I took her back to the cabin. It was the first time I ever had a human in my house since I’d returned. I was nervous, but more because I wasn’t sure
if
I could trust myself.

“What’s your p
oison?  Wine?  Beer?  Liquor?”
I asked playfully.

“Beer is fine,”
she shifted on the sofa, trying to sit provocatively. I could hear her heart hammering in her chest.

Retrieving the drinks, I settled in next to her on the couch, sitting closer that she expected. Clearly I’d have to get bigger furniture for the new rooms. I placed my arm over the back of the couch, behind her head, and she leaned into me.

“You’re a nice guy, Christian. It’s a shame
there aren’t more guys like you,” s
he then drank half her beer at once before setting the bottle back down.

“It is, isn’t it?”
I smiled.

She leaned in and kissed me, which I hadn’t expected, but welcomed. It was soft and sweet. Her bottom lip quivered as I traced it with my tongue. It had been so long. She tasted good…almost too good.

She moved to straddle my lap, pressing her breasts into my chest. Her skin was red hot and flushed, but I relished in it. I picked her up, laying her on the couch underneath me, and kissed from her lips to her neck and the top of her breasts. She moaned loudly, squirming for more.

If I was nothing else, I was a gentleman and a tease. I’d never take advantage of a woman if she was
reluctant.
But if she was willing, I’d make her want me so badly she thought she’d burst. I smiled.