Firestorm (20 page)

Logan shoved the thought from his mind. He was eager to fill his thoughts with Reyne and Beth and Matt and the others. He felt needed, and that empowered his every step with purpose. He hurried
toward the barracks for a shower and change of clothes, then hopped in his ’51 Chevy to drive over to Reyne’s.

She was out on the porch before he had even turned off the engine. Logan stared through the dirty windshield at her, wishing he had washed it so that even this first, brief glimpse of her would be unhindered. He thought her a vision, even with her blond hair pulled back in a messy ponytail and dark rings shadowing her eyes. These last weeks had been tough for her; he could see it. Still, there was no other who equaled her beauty in his eyes. Reyne was a caring, loving, brave, beautiful woman. And she needed him.

Logan stepped out of the truck and welcomed her into his arms.

“Oh, Logan,” she said softly, her voice muffled. “Thanks for coming home.”

“I’m glad to be here, babe. Thanks for asking me to come.”

They stood there, holding each other, for several long minutes. Logan relished the feel of her body against his, cherished the intimacy of the moment. He stroked her hair. The burning late-July sun was making the golden strands hot to the touch.

Reyne pulled away first. “Hungry?” she asked.

“Thirsty,” he said, but kissed her before she could step away. When their lips parted, he grinned down at her. “Powerful thirsty,” he added.

Reyne gave him a playful swat and then led the way to the porch. “Then I guess you need a very tall glass of iced tea.”

“I need a tall drink of something,” he said, studying her shapely form as she climbed the porch steps.

“You wait here, cowboy,” she said, gesturing toward the porch swing. “We’ll want to sit out here and talk. It’s sweltering inside.”

Logan sat and waited for her, wishing she would hurry. It had
been too long since they had seen each other, and he was impatient with even one more moment’s separation.

Finally Reyne appeared with two tall, slim glasses brimming with ice cubes and lemon wedges. She sat down beside him with a smile. They toasted. “To finally being together again,” Reyne said.

“Regardless of the circumstances,” he added. They took a sip of tea, and then he asked, “How’s Beth, Reyne?”

“Terrible. I’m thinking Matt’s going to have to take her to the hospital. She doesn’t want to go, but she’s so terribly weak. It’s tough for her to even eat. Rachel and I have tried everything we can think of—even milkshakes made with real cream—to keep up her energy and stop the weight loss. But it’s hopeless. The most we can get down her is a couple of ounces.”

Logan sighed and pulled Reyne closer to his side. “And how are you?” he asked tenderly, studying her face from the side.

“Exhausted. These last weeks have been tough, really tough.” Her eyes became glossy with tears. “I just got to this point last night where I couldn’t think of going on alone. I hope you don’t think I’m a complete wimp for asking you to come home.” She looked down and wiped her eyes with her hand.

Logan lifted her chin. “Reyne, your asking me to come meant a lot. It was the first time, really, that I felt like I was half of a couple. I want to be here for you in good times and bad. We’ve had some good times, so I guess what’s coming is the bad. And I’ll be here as long as you need me.”

“Thank you,” she managed to say softly. From her, it sounded like a painful admission. He folded her gently to him, determined to handle this new vulnerability carefully but also celebrating the new aspect to their relationship. This was the kind of trust they needed if
they were ever to be together the way he hoped they would be. As man and wife.

Thank you, too
, he prayed silently, as he held Reyne tenderly in his arms.
And help us to trust each other even more
.

After dinner the phone rang, and with some trepidation Reyne went to answer it. She prayed it wasn’t the dispatch center, calling her or Logan off their leave, but she did not want it to be bad news about Beth either.

It was Rachel. Her friend was all business. “Reyne, Matt had to take Beth to the hospital. I think they’re there now.”

Reyne took a shallow breath. Logan came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. “Do they need us there?” she asked. Unconsciously, she leaned back against Logan’s chest.

“I’m waiting to hear. Matt said he’d call.”

“Beth doesn’t need us there. She’ll just worry about us.”

“But I want to be there for Matt. Maybe I should call Arnie, too.” Rachel’s voice was giving way to the weariness that Reyne felt to the core of her soul. Reyne could hear the baby crying in the background. Briefly, she thought of how difficult these last weeks must have been for Rachel as a mother and wife.

“You’re needed at home, Rachel. Why don’t I go to the hospital and then report? Logan is here with me. We’ll call you if you need to come, and then you can call Pastor Arnie.”

“Okay,” Rachel said finally. “But please, Reyne, call me the minute you know anything, will you?”

“I will. And I’ll give her your love as soon as I see her.” They hung up without saying good-bye, their hearts heavy, their worst fears finally realized.

Logan had picked up his keys before she said another word. “Ready?” he asked.

“Let’s go,” Reyne said.

Matt came to meet them in the waiting room several hours later. He looked haggard. Reyne rose and went to him, with Logan right behind. “Matthew, are you okay? What’s the news?”

He sat down heavily on a blue couch, stretching out his work boots and clunking them down on the terrazzo floor. He rubbed his face as if he would gain energy from the action. His voice was uncharacteristically quiet. “This is it. She’s dying.”

Reyne and Logan waited for him to go on.

“The doc says she’s got maybe two, three days left. He wants to keep her here, keep her medicated so she’ll be comfortable, you know. Beth wants me to take her home.” He swallowed hard. “I don’t know if I can take it, you guys. I don’t know if I can handle taking my wife home to die.”

Reyne wondered where her tears came from. She thought of all the times she had cried these past weeks and thought there should be none left to shed. But Matt’s obvious anguish cut to the heart. She took his hand with both of her own, waiting for him to regain control. Then she said, “We’re going to be right here with you, Matt. Me and Logan and Rachel and Dirk. We’re your friends. We won’t let you down.”

Matt shook off her hands and rose. “Aw, you guys all have stuff to do.” He ran his hand through his hair, and paced. “You’ve got fires to fight. The Tanners have a ranch to run and their own kid to raise. The last thing you all need is us on your hands.”

Logan and Reyne rose as one. Logan spoke first. “The last thing
you three are is a burden. We want to be here for you. We want to help you any way we know how, man.”

Matt stood there, thinking for a moment, and then nodded slightly. “Well, okay. I guess the first thing I need help on is deciding what’s best to do about Beth.”

In the end they decided that they should comply with Beth’s wishes. With some coaxing, the doctor agreed that he could send them home with enough medication to keep Beth comfortable but still coherent. She had insisted that she wanted more from her last hours than being a zombie. But first she needed to stay in the hospital overnight so the medical staff could work on stabilizing her. Reyne saw her briefly, but she was asleep. All she could do was squeeze Beth’s hand, carefully avoiding the IV, stroke her hair, and whisper to her that Rachel and she were thinking about her all the time.

She called Rachel when they returned home, and they agreed to meet at the Morgans’ the next morning to prepare the house for Beth’s final homecoming. As soon as Matt and Hope were out the door, they set to work getting meals ready and cleaning the house. They changed the sheets on the beds, dusted, vacuumed, and opened the windows to air out the house. They fluffed pillows and beat rugs, working like crazy to be done within the two hours that Matt had given them before returning.

Dinner that night was a celebration of sorts. Beth, energized by her brief stay in the hospital and perhaps realizing that there would not be many more dinners with her friends, even insisted Matt carry her to the table. They feasted on casseroles from the freezer—a selection from the bounty that had been left by church members during Beth’s illness—and talked and laughed until eleven at night. Finally
the Tanners and Logan and Reyne bade them good night, leaving them to tuck their sleeping daughter into bed and find some rest themselves.

Beth’s rallying was temporary. Two days later, Reyne entered her room and noted with alarm the grim expression on Rachel’s face. Rachel was beside Beth’s bed, holding her hand. Matt was on the other side of the bed, holding her other hand. Hope lay in bed with her mother, cuddling.

Beth still managed a faint smile for Reyne and for Logan, who had entered the bedroom behind her. “Well, you’re all here,” she said in a voice barely more audible than a whisper. “This must be it.”

“Not a chance,” Reyne said quickly, instinctively wanting to abolish any negative thought. But even she could see the folly of it. Beth was right. She was nearing the end.

“Please,” Beth said to Matt, “help me sit up.” He moved to place some fluffy pillows behind her, raising her to a semisitting position. When she was settled, she raised her hand to Logan and Reyne as if beckoning them. Reyne sat beside her on the bed, and Logan knelt.

“Logan,” she managed, “take care of Reyne. She is a wonderful, dear woman.” Beth paused to take several breaths as if shoring up for an important task. Reyne noticed that her skin looked almost like porcelain, translucent. “And Reyne, you remember what we talked about by the pool that day.”

Reyne nodded, staring into her eyes. For once, her own eyes were dry. Inside, she tried to reconcile what was happening with her feelings.
Please, God, tell me this isn’t happening. Please tell me this isn’t the end. Tell me it’s not good-bye!
“I will,” she told Beth. “I’ll always remember your words. I’ll always remember
you
.”

Beth smiled again, softly, and Reyne fought off the desire never
to leave her side, not to let her go. Beth looked at her with such tenderness, such understanding, that she suddenly felt a shiver along her spine. Once again Reyne noticed that Beth held something of the eternal in her gaze. As if she could see the other side and, therefore, saw those around her with even more vivid clarity.

Reyne tore her eyes from Beth’s, knowing deep down inside that she was not going to look in them again. Logan bent down to squeeze Beth’s hand and kiss her softly on the forehead before turning to put his arm around Reyne. They moved to the corner of the room, making room for the others.

Beth and Rachel spent several long minutes talking quietly, and then Dirk knelt by her side. With tears slipping down his cheeks, he thanked her for her friendship and for bringing his wife-to-be to Elk Horn. As Logan had done before him, he kissed her on the forehead and looked into her eyes for a long second before leaving her. “You’ll be well cared for there, Beth,” he said softly. “You won’t have any more pain.”

“I know,” she whispered, looking at them all with eyes bright with tears.

She was slipping away. They all held their breath, as if waiting, feeling the tangible presence of the Spirit there with them.

“Mommy,” Hope said, raising her head from her mother’s chest, “I don’t want you to go away.”

“Oh, baby,” she said, tears falling. “I don’t want to go. But I’m not going far. I’m going to live where the angels sing. I’m going to be well enough to run and laugh and play again. And you’ve got to remember, I’ll always be near you and your daddy. Loving you from the other side.”

Reyne swallowed against the lump that choked her. She gripped
Logan’s arms around her waist as if to gain strength from them.

“Now, you go to Daddy, sweetheart. He loves you very … much and will take good … care of you. You be a good girl. And you watch those … love tapes I left for you.”

Hope nodded, her eyes big, trying to understand what was transpiring. She reached for her father, and he pulled her into his lap, moving to sit beside Beth on the bed as he did so. He took her hand.

“My love,” Beth said. “I can’t tell you … how thankful I am … for the time we had together.” She paused, visibly losing strength by the moment. “You go on and live a full life. Find love again—”

“No, Beth,” he interrupted. “Never.”

“Matthew,” she said, gasping for air now. “Know that I want you to love again. And … I’ll be … waiting. For you. On the other side.”

Matt, crying now too, bent to kiss her lips tenderly. “I know, Beth. I know. Are you leaving us now? Are you going home, baby?”

“Oh, Matt,” she said, her voice suddenly stronger than it had been for days. “He’s here. Jesus.
He’s here
.” Her eyes were shining, glorious in the love and excitement that she alone could see. “I’m here, Lord. I’m here.”

And then, as they all watched, the light in Beth’s eyes faded, and her lids closed for the last time.

T
hey buried Beth two days later on a picturesque, grassy knoll high in the century-old cemetery outside Elk Horn. It was only then that Reyne truly recognized how many lives her friend had touched. Beth’s parents had arrived the day before, as had Rachel’s parents. Their good friends, Jake and Emily Rierdon—now doing missionary work in the inner city of San Francisco with the intent of one day returning to Elk Horn—wanted desperately to come, but couldn’t get away. Matt had spent a good hour that morning on the phone with them, reminiscing.

Earlier they had gathered inside the stifling hot country church to sing, pray, and remember Beth and the gift she had been. They dressed in bright colors, as Beth had requested. Person after person had approached the lectern, faced the congregation, and testified what Beth’s encouragement, friendship, or faith had meant to them.