First Class to New York (21 page)

*****

Matt had barely slept. He had returned to his empty apartment
and had been restless, not able to concentrate, not able to do anything. He
could picture her nestled in the sofa. He remembered her on the balcony, in his
kitchen doing the dishes, making his breakfast.

When he walked out of the bathroom after a shower, he
envisioned her on the desk, beautifully naked, their bodies joined as one. When
he climbed into bed he could smell her. She was everywhere. So he’d gone into
his office and tried to work but he couldn’t focus.

Matt stood at the window looking at nothing. All he could
see was Janie.

What’s wrong? Is she okay? Did she overhear me and Beth?
Why won’t she call me?

He was frustrated she hadn’t called, but mostly he was
worried; worried that she was hurt, either physically or emotionally. He
couldn’t bear it if he had hurt her.

He wasn’t the same man that she had met in the airport two
weeks ago. She had changed him. She had chipped away at the hard exterior he
kept in place. His experience with women was shallow, purely physical. He
readily admitted it. And that had worked for him, up until two weeks ago. And
then he had met
her
and he wanted more. He had opened up to her in a way
he had never experienced before. She had met his family! He had taken her to
church. He had allowed her to stay in his bed all night, something no other
woman had done since Beth had left him. Hell, he had
wanted
her to stay.
He had wanted her to stay forever.

He had finally fallen asleep on the sofa in his office
sometime after three. The sound of his phone had him upright and running for
his phone.

Janie! Thank God!

‘Got your messages. Am not feeling well. Gonna stay in today
to recover. Can I see you tomorrow?’

She’s sick?
Matt breathed a huge sigh of relief.

*****

Janie put down the phone and stood in front of the window
watching the first rays of light break over the park. She wasn’t happy. She
wasn’t sad. Numb, just numb.

Numb is good
, she thought.
Numb is better than
yesterday
.

Janie ordered room service and stood staring off at the tops
of the trees coming to light. It was a beautiful park. It was a glorious city.
It had truly been a trip of a lifetime, one she would never forget. But she
would be glad to get home; there was a lot to do.

Janie sat at the desk in front of the window and pulled the
note pad from the drawer and began to write.

TO DO:

1. Donate Robert’s clothes to Goodwill
   
2. Sell Robert’s truck
   
3. Find a realtor and put the house up for sale
   
4. PURGE! Go through everything and get rid of stuff I don’t
   use. SIMPLIFY!
   
5. Join a gym
   
6. Get a new wardrobe – Katy will help
   
7. BE OPEN TO ALL POSSIBILITIES!
   

Janie read over her list. That was a good start. If she was
going to begin again, she needed to be ready the minute she stepped off the
plane in Portland. No going back, only forward.

A knock on the door broke her concentration and she let room
service wheel in the cart. She hadn’t eaten since she’d made breakfast for her
and Matt yesterday. She still wasn’t really hungry but knew she should eat.
Janie poured a cup of steaming coffee and wondered how she should spend the
day. There were still several things on her list that she had not done yet, but
they had been replaced with amazing outings with Matt, so the trade had been
well worth it. Janie had never imagined sitting in a box suite at Yankee
Stadium, or touring the harbor in a yacht! Yes, well worth the trade.

Maybe another day in the park?

Sweat was dripping off Matt as he continued to run on the
treadmill. 7.3 miles and he still had not cleared his head. The sound of his
feet pounding on the belt and his knees starting to ache could not keep his
mind off Janie, so he just kept running.

Just the few hour absence of Janie yesterday had hurtled him
into coming face to face with his feelings, something he rarely did. Feelings
were not part of his life, not anymore. He had relied on his gut to make
business decisions in the past but that was different. Feelings just got in the
way, like they were doing now. But they were staring him down, no longer
possible to ignore.

He had been scared yesterday; scared that he had hurt her
and then scared that he wasn’t going to see her again, the latter taking him by
complete surprise. He didn’t just want to see her again, he wanted to be with
her. He needed her and he wanted her to need him. The realization was
mind-blowing.

She’d said she was going to stay in her room to get better
so she would be easy to find. He formulated a plan and stopped the treadmill.
Yes, his path was now clear.

Matt showered and dressed and headed to the office, a man on
a mission. He worked on the contracts left on his desk and scrolled through the
dozens of emails he had ignored the day before. By the time Angela arrived at
nine, he was feeling incredibly productive and was ready to tackle the next
stack of paperwork she delivered.

Matt was a ‘hands-on’ CEO. He wanted to know what each
department was doing and where his money went. It was his name on the door and
he made sure that each facet of his company was run exactly the way he wanted
it to. Everyone who worked for him understood that he always had the final say.
He liked the control.

Mark was his right-hand. He couldn’t have built his company
into what it had become without him. Mark was also the person he trusted most
in the world. They weren’t just brothers; they were best friends. So when Mark
strolled in to Matt’s office at 9:30 with March’s preliminary Profit and Loss
Statement, he asked him to sit, which wasn’t unusual, as they constantly sat in
Matt’s office discussing the next acquisition or the weekend’s ball game. Mark
pointed out some additional expenses they had incurred that were reflected in
the report Matt held in his hands. He placed it on his desk, not having looked
at it.

“I’m going to be making some changes,” he stated
matter-of-factly.

“Okay,” Mark replied.

“I think I am going to take on a partner.”

“What? Why? What’s going on?” Mark was shocked.

“I think I may be ready to back off, just a bit, from the
day-to-day running of the business.”

“Wow! When did you decide this?”

“This morning,” Matt said.

Mark laughed. “Oh, okay. So you’re not serious.” He seemed
relieved.

“Oh no, I am deadly serious,” Matt corrected him. “There are
other…
pursuits
I am interested in.”

“Another business?”

“No.”

“Come on Matt. You gotta give me a little more than that.”

“I am considering moving,” Matt said, watching Mark and
trying to gauge his response.

“Where?”

“Not sure yet. Maybe Oregon.”

“Holy shit!” Mark’s mouth dropped open. “Are you fucking
serious?”

“Look, I’m just making sure that I get all my ducks in a row
so that when, and if, I decide to make some changes in my life, there aren’t
any hurdles, k?”

Mark leaned back and ran his hands through his hair. “So
who’s the partner,” he sighed.

“You.”

Mark didn’t react.

“I had to try to find someone with the same initials as me
so I wouldn’t have to change the name of the company,” he grinned. “Besides,
it’s your company too, I’m just gonna put it on paper.”

Mark took a deep breath and spoke slowly, “Don’t get me
wrong, I’m stunned, and very appreciative, but, what the hell Matt? Is this
your dick talking? Have you thought this through?”

Matt frowned. “You helped me build this, you should get the
recognition.”

“Yeah, I did, and I get a shitload of money for doing what I
love to do. But I don’t give a fuck about recognition.”

“We’ll knock out a couple of walls and make a suite of
executive offices right here, instead of spread out over the floor and we’ll
move Ryan into your job. I’ve thought it all out and it’s want I want to do.”

“Is this about Janie?”

“I should have done this a while ago Mark. I’m just making
things right.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I have already sent an email to the attorneys having them
draw up the preliminary contract and we can make changes as we review it
together. You might want to consider getting a separate lawyer so you don’t get
screwed,” Matt grinned.

“Matt! Answer the goddamn question!”

“She’s the one.”

*****

Janie wandered through Central Park, soaking up the sun. She
sat on the edge of the fountain and ran her fingers through the cool water. The
sunshine had improved her mood considerably. She needed to spend more time
outside she decided.

She watched the children running, playing. She missed having
small children sometimes. But then other times she was thrilled at having them
grown and gone. She would need to go and visit the boys when she got back home.
It had only been a couple of weeks since they had been home for a few days over
spring break, but sitting watching the moms with their kids made her miss them
just a little more.

Slowly meandering back the way she came, Janie headed back
to the hotel. She didn’t feel like doing anything else; she was emotionally
spent. Hoping for a good movie on TV was how she planned on spending the rest
of the afternoon.

She didn’t realize just how far she had walked. It was taking
forever to get back. Her feet started to hurt and she was hungry. Finally,
crossing Central Park South, she headed through the lobby to the elevator.

“Janie!”

She swung around as she heard her name and stood face to
face with Matt.

“What are you doing here?” she was surprised to see him.

He wore a frown as he questioned her. “Are you alright? I
thought you were sick?”

“I’m doing better now.” Janie frowned and stepped back, not
prepared to see him yet. She needed time to steel herself, to convince herself
that she could just walk away. Having him stand in front of her was not in the
plan. She couldn’t look at him in the eye. She needed physical distance between
them. Seeing him now was too soon. Way too soon.

“You look a little flushed. Let’s get you back to your
room.” Matt reached for her hand but she stepped away and walked to the
elevators and pushed the up arrow. “Why didn’t you text me back yesterday?”

“Because I was lying on the bathroom floor puking into the
toilet.”
And I didn’t want to interrupt you while you were fucking your
ex-wife!

Stop it!
thought Janie.
Remember the deal! No
strings, no commitment!

The frown deepened. “I am so sorry,” he whispered, rubbing
his forehead.

The thought of him with his ex surfaced and Janie felt ill.
Had
he been with her?
She couldn’t fathom it. It just didn’t seem possible. She
knew what she’d heard.  But her strength was deserting her.

The elevator opened and they stepped inside, Janie started
to feel little beads of sweat forming on her forehead. Matt looked down as they
began moving upwards.

“You actually don’t look well at all,” he said. “You need to
get back to bed.”

Janie’s eyes flew open at his words and her breath hitched
in her chest and she could feel her heart beating loudly. He was too close,
dangerously too close.

 Janie managed to walk down the hall to her room and took
the key card out of her pocket and opened the door, not looking at Matt. She
walked in and he followed. Closing the door, Matt told her to sit and she dropped
onto the end of the bed. He crouched and took of her shoes and gently rubbed
her feet. She stared at the top of his head and wondered how she could be cool
and calm while he was touching her. She pulled her foot from his hands and he
looked up at her.

“Shit, Janie, you’re pale as a ghost.” He left her to dampen
a washcloth in the bathroom and then placed it on her head, pulling her back
onto the bed and forcing her to lie down. Closing her eyes, she took in a deep
breath and exhaled. After a few more her heart rate slowed and she felt herself
calming down. She didn’t know where Matt was; she couldn’t hear him and she
didn’t open her eyes.

Maybe he’ll leave
, she thought. Her heart wanted him
to stay, but her head knew he had to go, knew he would go, if not today, then
on Thursday, just one day away.

*****

Janie opened her eyes and it was dark. She must have fallen
asleep. She glanced at the clock, 11:24. She tried to lift her hand to move her
hair from her face but she couldn’t move it. Matt was wrapped around her; his
arm under her neck, his other arm over her arm and wrapped around her waist,
his leg over hers. He was still in his suit and shoes and he was sound asleep.

He didn’t leave!
Was that a good or a bad thing?
Janie didn’t know. If she moved, she would wake him, so she decided to stay
where she was and enjoy this moment for as long as she could.

I have split personality disorder
, she thought.
One
minute I don’t want to see him and the next I am snuggling into him because I
can’t get enough. This is just too hard.

Janie closed her eyes and went back to sleep and dreamt of
Matt. She dreamt of them walking hand in hand in the park. She dreamt of him
making love to her in his bed. She dreamt of him holding a tiny baby and
looking up at her and smiling. She dreamt of him holding a beer and laughing.
She dreamt of him fucking Beth on his desk.

When she awoke again, she knew instantly that her body had
been freed of the extra limbs belonging to Matt. Her eyes flew open and it was
light outside. She looked over and the bed was empty. Had he left in the middle
of the night? Janie rolled over to look at the clock and she saw him out of the
corner of her eye. He was sitting in the chair at the desk, his eyes locked on
her. He was disarmingly handsome and when he smiled at her she nearly lost all
of her resolve to remain strong.