Authors: Eric van Lustbader
He put the photo back, turned away, but his mood didn't improve. The house's aggressive homeyness produced a hollowness in the pit of his stomach. As for his heart, it had gone numb the moment she appeared at the door.
Below her short skirt, Sharon wore little pink ballet slippers with teeny bows and paper-thin soles. They made her movements around the house elegant and silent, even on the hard tile of the kitchen floor. No matter which way you looked at them, her legs were magnificent. Jack tried not to stare, but it was like asking a moth to ignore a flame.
Sharon opened a glass-fronted cabinet over the sink, stretched up to reach a pair of stemmed glasses. Her figure was highlighted in such a way that Jack felt the need to sit down.
She uncorked a bottle of red wine, poured. "Fortunately, I made enough food for two."
"Uh-huh," was all he could muster because he'd bitten back one of his acerbic replies.
She brought the glasses over, handed him one. "What?"
"What what?"
She pulled a chair out, sat down at a right angle to him. "I know that look."
"What look?" Why all of a sudden did he feel like a felon?
"The 'Baby, let's get it on' look."
"I was just admiring your legs."
She got up, took her wineglass to the stove. She stirred a pot,
checked the chicken in the oven. "Why didn't you say that when we were married?" Her voice was more rueful than angry.
Jack waited until she paused to take a sip of wine before he said, "When we were married, I was embarrassed by how beautiful you are."
She spun around. "Come again?"
"You know how you see a hot movie star—"
Her face grew dark. "Where do
you
live, Beverly Hills?"
"I'm talking about a fantasy figure, Shar. Don't tell me you don't have fantasies about—"
"Clive Owen, if you must know." She took the bird out, set it aside to allow the juices to settle. "Go on."
"Okay, so I'm alone with . . . Scarlett Johansson."
Sharon rolled her eyes. "Dream on, buddy."
"I'm alone with her in my mind," Jack persevered, "but when I try to—you know—nothing happens."
She dumped the rice into a serving bowl. "Now that's just not you."
"Right, not when I'm with you. But Scarlett, when I think about her—really think about her—well, it's too much. I'm wondering why the hell a goddess like that would be with me. Then the fantasy goes up in smoke."
She stared intently at the steaming rice. Her cheeks were flushed. After a time, she seemed to find her voice. "You think I'm as beautiful as Scarlett Johansson?"
If he said yes, what would she do? He didn't know, so he said nothing, even when she turned her head to look at him. Instead, he got up, rather clumsily, and helped her serve the food.
They sank back down into their respective chairs. Wordlessly, she handed him the carving utensils and wordlessly he took them, parting the breast from the bony carcass, as he always did. Sharon served them both, first slices of the chicken, then heaping spoonfuls of rice, and broccoli with oil and garlic. They ate in a fog of self-conscious silence, sinking deeper and deeper into their own thoughts.
Finally, Sharon said, "You're feeling okay now?"
Jack nodded. "Fine."
"I thought . . ." She put her fork down. She'd hardly eaten anything. "I thought maybe after the hospital you might call."
"I wanted to," Jack said, not sure that was the truth. "There's something I want to tell you."
Sharon settled in her chair. "All right."
"It's about Emma."
She reacted as if he'd shot her. "I don't—!"
"Just let me—" He held up his hands. "Please, Shar, just let me say what I have to say."
"I've heard everything you need to say about Emma."
"Not this you haven't." He took a deep breath, let it out. He wanted to tell her, and he didn't. But this time seemed as good as any—better, in fact, than any of their recent meetings. "The fact is—" He seemed to have lost his voice. He cleared his throat. "—I've seen Emma."
"What!"
"I've seen her a number of times in the past week." Jack rushed on at breakneck speed, lest he lose his nerve. "The last time she was sitting in the backseat of my car. She said, 'Dad.' "
Sharon's expression told him that he'd made a terrible mistake.
"Are you insane?" she shouted.
"I tell you I saw her. I heard her—"
She jumped up. "Our daughter's dead, Jack! She's dead!"
"I'm not saying—"
"Oh, you're despicable!" Her brows knit together ominously. "This is your way of trying to weasel out of your responsibility for Emma's death."
"This isn't about responsibility, Shar. It's about trying to understand—"
"I knew you were desperate to crawl out from under your guilt."
Her wildly gesticulating hands knocked over her wineglass. Then she deliberately knocked over his. "I just didn't know
how
desperate."
Jack was on his feet. "Shar, would you calm down a minute? You're not listening to me."
"Get out of here, Jack!"
"C'mon, don't do that."
"I said get out!"
She advanced and he retreated, past the seashells and the colored glass, the postcards Emma had sent to them from school, the photos of her as a child. He scooped up his coat.
"Sharon, you've misunderstood everything."
This, of course, was the worst thing he could have said. She flew at him with raised fists, and he backed out the front door so quickly that he stumbled over the top step. She got to slam the door on him once again. Then all the downstairs lights were extinguished and he knew she was sitting, curled up, fists on thighs, sobbing uncontrollably.
He took a convulsive step up, raised his fist to hammer on the door, but his hand flattened out, palm resting on the door as if by that gesture he could feel her presence. Then he turned, went heavily down the steps, returned to his car.
J
ACK THOUGHT
he was heading home, but instead he found himself pulling into Egon Schiltz's driveway right behind Candy Schiltz's Audi A4 Avant wagon. He got out, walked to the front door, pushed the bell. If Sharon wouldn't talk to him about Emma, maybe Egon would. Jack checked his watch. It was late enough that he was sure to be home by now.
Schiltz lived in the Olde Sleepy Hollow area of Falls Church. His house was a neat two-story colonial the family had lived in for decades. Schiltz had paid just north of $100,000 for it. Back in the day, that wasn't exactly cheap, but these days it was worth conservatively fifteen times that.
Molly came to the door, gave an excited shriek as he whirled her up and around.
"Molly Maria Schiltz, what is going on!"
Candy came bursting into the entryway, but as soon as she saw Jack, the look of concern on her face changed to a broad smile.
"Jack McClure, well, it's been too long!" she said with genuine pleasure.
He kissed her on the cheek as Taffy, their Irish setter, came bounding in, tongue lolling, tail wagging furiously.
"We've finished dinner," Candy said, "but there's plenty of leftovers."
"I just ate, thanks," Jack said.
While he and Candy went into the family room, Molly trooped upstairs to do her homework.
"I have cherry pie," Candy said with a twinkle in her eye. "Your favorite, if memory serves."
Jack laughed despite his black mood. "Nothing wrong with your memory."
Seeing no way out, he allowed her to bustle around the open kitchen, Taffy happily trotting at her heels. She was a statuesque woman with ash-blond hair and a wide, open face. In her youth, she'd been a real beauty. Now, in later middle age, she possessed a different kind of beauty, as well as an enviable serenity. She cut a slice of pie as generous as her figure, took a bowl of homemade whipped cream out of the refrigerator, piled on a huge dollop.
"Milk or coffee?" she said as she plunked the plate and fork down on the pass-through. Taffy came around, sat on her haunches, her long, clever face turned up to Jack.
"Coffee, please." Jack rubbed Taffy's forehead with his knuckles, and the dog growled in pleasure. He picked up the fork. "How many people is this portion supposed to feed?"
Candy, pouring his coffee into a mug she herself had made in pottery class, giggled. "I can't help it if I still consider you a growing boy, Jack." She padded over with the mug. She remembered he liked his coffee straight. "Anyway, you're looking far too gaunt to suit me." She put a hand over his briefly. "Are you getting along all right?"
Jack nodded. "I'm doing fine."
Candy's expression indicated she didn't believe him. "You should come over here more often. Egon misses you." She indicated with her head. "So does Good Golly Miss Molly."
"Molly's grown up. She's got her own friends now."
Candy pulled a mock face. "D'you think she'd ever stop loving her uncle Jack? Shame on you. That's not how this family works."
Jack felt as if he were dying inside. Here was a picture of his own family life . . . if only so many things had happened differently. "The pie's delicious." He smacked his lips. "Is Egon upstairs? I'd like a minute of his time."
"Unfortunately, no," she said. "He called to say he was staying extra late at the morgue, some kind of hush-hush government case. But you should go on over there. He'll be happy for the company. And you know Egon, he can lend an ear with the best of them."
Candy flattened down the front of her dress. "I wish you and Sharon would patch things up."
Jack stared down at the remains of crust. "Well, you know how it is."
"No, I don't," Candy said rather firmly. "You love each other. It's obvious even to a nonromantic like my Egon."
Jack sighed. "I don't know about love, but Sharon doesn't like me very much right now. Maybe she never will again."
"That's just defeatist talk, my dear." Candy put away the pie and washed the whipped cream bowl. "Everything changes. All marriages survive if both of you want it to." She dried her hands on a green-and-white-striped dish towel. "You've got to work at it."
Jack looked up. "Do you and Egon work at it?"
"Goodness, yes." Candy came over, leaned on the pass-through. "We've had our ups and downs just like everyone else, I daresay. But the essential thing is that we both want the same thing—to be together." She looked at him with her wise eyes. "That's what you want, isn't it, to be with her?"
Jack nodded mutely.
Candy pushed the plate aside and began to shoo him out of the
family room. Taffy barked unhappily. "Go on now." She kissed him warmly. "Go see my man, and I hope he makes you feel better."
"Thanks, Candy."
She stood at the door. "You can thank me by showing up on my doorstep more often."
Q
UIET AS
a morgue
, Jack thought as he entered the ME's office. In times past, that little joke would have put a smile on his face, but not tonight. He walked down the deserted corridors, hearing only the soft draw of the massive air conditioners. There was a mug half-filled with coffee on Schiltz's desk, but no sign of the man himself. The mug was inscribed with the phrase
WORLD'S BEST DAD
, a years-ago present from Molly. Jack put his finger into the coffee, found it still warm. His friend was here somewhere.
The autopsy room was similarly still. All the coldly gleaming chrome and stainless steel made it look like Dr. Frankenstein's lab. All that was needed were a couple of bolts of lightning. A dim glow came from the cold room. Jack stood on the threshold, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness. He remembered the time he'd taken Emma here. She was writing a paper on forensic medicine during the year the vocation had fired her interest. He'd been here many times, but he found it enlightening to see it through her eager, young eyes. Egon had met them, taken them around, explained everything, answered Emma's seemingly endless questions. But when she said, "Why does God allow people to be murdered?" Egon shook his head and said, "If I knew that, kiddo, I'd know everything."
Jack saw that one of the cold slabs had been drawn out of the wall. No doubt holding part of the hush-hush work that chained Egon to the office so late at night. Jack stepped forward, was on the point of calling out Egon's name when he heard the noises. It sounded as if the entire cold room had come alive and was breathing heavily. Then he saw Egon.
He was on the cold slab, lying facedown on top of Ami, his assistant. He was naked and so was she. Their rhythmic movements acid-etched the true nature of Egon's hush-hush work onto Jack's brain.
Jack, his mind in a fog, stood rooted for a moment. He struggled to make sense of what he was seeing, but it was like trying to digest a ten-pound steak. It just wasn't going to happen.
On stiff legs, he backed out of the cold room, turned, and went back down the corridor to Egon's office. Plunking himself into Egon's chair, he stared at the coffee. Well, that wasn't going to do it. He pawed through the desk drawers until he found Egon's pint of single-barrel bourbon, poured three fingers' worth into the coffee. He put the mug to his lips and drank the brew down without even wincing. Then he sat back.
For Egon Schiltz—family man, churchgoing, God-fearing fundamentalist—to be schtupping a cookie on the side was unthinkable. What would God say, for God's sake? Another of Jack's little jokes that tonight failed to bring a smile to his face. Or joy to his heart, which now seemed to be a dead cinder lying at the bottom of some forgotten dust heap.
He thought about leaving before Egon came back and saw that his "hush-hush work" was now an open secret, but he couldn't get his body to move. He took another slug of the single-barrel, reasoning that it might help, but it only served to root him more firmly in the chair.
And then it was too late. He heard the familiar footsteps coming down the corridor, and then Egon appeared. He stopped short the moment he saw Jack, and unconsciously ran a hand through his tousled hair.
"Jack, this is a surprise!"
I'll bet it is
, Jack thought. "Guess where I just came from, Egon?"