First Degree Innocence (5 page)

“It’s everything I feared it would be.” Carrie’s gaze remained fixed on the desolate land outside the prison. “We’re so far from civilization. It’s like being the only people left in the world.”

Jet caressed Carrie’s upper arm. “It doesn’t have to be bad, you know. I can take care of you and make sure that everybody leaves you alone.”

Carrie shivered. The discomfort of another’s woman’s intimate touch caused a lump in Carrie’s throat; she feigned a cough to clear it. “No one has bothered me.” She faced Jet. “I just never imagined I would end up in prison… and for something I didn’t do.”

“Innocent, huh? That’s too bad. Maybe I can help you prove it.” The sudden warmth in Jet’s voice made Carrie suspicious.

“How?” Her jaw dropped, thinking perhaps Jet believed her. An actual attorney couldn’t win the case. What made Jet think she could change the verdict?

“I have friends on the outside.” The exaggerated sway in Jet’s head and neck exhibited pure cockiness.

“Then how come you’re still here?”

Jet straightened, squaring her shoulders. “There’s just one problem with my case—I killed the son-of-a-bitch and ten people saw me do it.” Her tone turned back to frost, just like her eyes.

Carrie shivered again. Jet had murdered someone and had no bones admitting it. Unable to contain her curiosity, Carrie swallowed her nervousness. “What happened?”

Jet resumed her relaxed pose against the fence, crossing her arms over her chest. “I shot him—with his own gun.” She remained so composed one would almost think she discussed the weather.

“I don’t mean to pry, but why?” Carrie chewed her bottom lip, not believing her own boldness.

“Because he needed to die…”

Carrie hung on every word, wanting all the details.

“And that’s all you need to know,” Jet said. “Now let’s get back to the topic of me helping you. If you want, I can get your cell assignment changed.”

Confusion clouded Carrie’s mind. Why did Jet have such an interest in her? Surely she had more of a motive than just needing another friend. “Why would… I…I want you to do that? Susanna and her friends are all very nice.” Carrie tried not to stammer.

“Nice, huh? You just got here. You have no idea the kind of backstabbing they’re capable of. If you’re smart, you’ll align yourself with me and my friends.”

Carrie shuddered at the thought of being in a cell closer to Jet, but questioned if all the rumors floating around about her were true. Carrie barely knew any of the women here. They could all be lying, even Susanna.

Carrie’s mind spun. What could she possibly say to stall Jet?

“Well, whadda you think, sweet cheeks?” Jet inched closer and dropped her arm around Carrie’s shoulders again.

Carrie stiffened. “Can we wait a while? I don’t want to offend anyone, and I think if I got moved now, it might cause some hard feelings.”

Jet stepped away and stared at Carrie with a sharply arched brow. “Offend someone?” She threw her head back and laughed, then quickly composed herself.

She leaned in until her face was inches from Carrie’s. “Okay, you’re new and you want to play nice with everyone. I’ll give you that, but I don’t make these kind of offers to just anyone. I like you, Lang, so I’ll wait and let you settle in, but you’d better think long and hard about turning me down. I make a much better friend than I do an enemy.” Jet spun around and walked back toward the recreation room.

Carrie heaved a sigh and massaged her brow where a stress headache loomed. She’d managed to buy at least a few days reprieve from Jet’s invitation, and maybe during that time she could really acquaint herself with the other inmates and learn who was the most sincere. Somehow, she doubted it was Jet.

* * * * *

Carrie sat in one of the library lounge chairs, trying to appear engrossed in reading. She didn’t even know the title, having picked up the first paperback her hand touched in hopes that feigned reading would deter Jet’s attention when she and her group came out of their cells for rec.

Glancing up through her lashes, Carrie surmised that the lot of them had gone outside. She closed the book and breathed a sigh. The gals from her own cellblock, D, were gathered around the metal tables at the far end of the room, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. She really liked them, and during the last week, found no reason to believe they weren’t sincere and honest—or as close to it as incarcerated people could be. Even in prison, people had to make friends to survive. As a cellmate, she couldn’t ask for a better one than Susanna. She made the long nights tolerable with her entertaining childhood stories and tales of old boyfriends. Better, she stirred Carrie to laughter, something she hadn’t enjoyed in a long time.

How long could she avoid Jet? The woman gave her the creeps, but Carrie couldn’t be entirely sure she wasn’t just over-reacting from all the talk she’d heard. She shook her head. Maybe she was being unfair.

Her gaze drifted around the room’s blandly painted walls, making her miss the warm earth tones of her own apartment. Her visual examination came to rest on the old-fashioned exercise equipment just inside the doorway. The seats on the three stationary bikes were frayed, and the free weights and sparsely padded benches had been chained to the wall.

“Not very free,” she mumbled, staring at restrained leaden barbells.

Beyond the physical fitness area, a barrel of basketballs for use on the outside courts sat full. She’d heard that there were once ping pong tables, but they’d been removed when one inmate beat another into unconsciousness with one of the paddles. Didn’t people care that their actions affected everyone? She clicked her tongue against her teeth, recalling the explanation about the lack of pillows. Just additional punishment for something she didn’t do.

Her gaze shifted to the bin of board games next to the library cart. She found herself envisioning ways someone could screw up their availability. Perhaps forcing Scrabble tiles down an opponent’s throat or poking out an eye with a Monopoly piece. She threw her head back and released a long breath. God, she’d only been here a short while, and she was already cynical.

“Carrie.” Someone called from across the room. Susanna beckoned to her.

After placing the book back on the cart, Carrie made her way to her friends. She cast a wary glance at the door leading outside, making sure that Jet wasn’t watching. For the past few days, she had kept her distance, giving Carrie the time and space she requested. Carrie hadn’t told Susanna and the girls about Jet’s proposal.

“Hey, girlfriend,” Susanna chirped, slapping Carrie lightly on the back. “What’s with the anti-social behavior?”

“I was looking for an interesting book, but there aren’t any to my liking.”

“Wanna go outside for a breath of air and see if we can hear the men again? If we get lucky, they might be working in the garden and we can actually see them.” Susanna struck a hands-on-hip pose that made Carrie chuckle. She almost accepted then remembered Jet was in the outer yard.

“No thanks, I’m not feeling quite up to snuff. I think I’m getting ready to start my period, and I always feel like crap for at least a week.”

“Make sure to request your pads now,” Di chimed in. “If you don’t, you’ll never get them in time. I always ask the guards for them at least a week before I need them.”

“I hear they’re going to take pads off the list of freebies and add them to the commissary. I don’t know what those of us with no money will do,” Helen said, a crease marring her brow.

“Can they do that?” Carried asked, her mouth gaping.

“They can do anything they want,” Susanna said. “I had to settle for using pads because they refuse to stock tampons. Can you believe that some stupid idiot tried to smoke one?”

Di chuckled. “I believe anything these days. When I got here, I found missing pages in the Bible they gave me. My cellmate told me that some of the gals tear them out and roll apple peels inside and smoke them.”

Carrie rolled her eyes. “Somehow, besides being an infraction of the rules, that most certainly must be a sin.” Her brow rose. “Smoking the Bible? Where does the insanity end around here?”

Ruthie patted her on the back. “It doesn’t. It just gets more and more bizarre.”

“What’s bizarre?”

Carrie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The voice behind her was all too familiar.

“We were just regaling Carrie with some of the shenanigans people pull around here,” Celia explained to Jet.

“You won’t mind if I borrow her for a minute, will you?” Jet hooked her arm through Carrie’s and led her away before anyone had a chance to respond.

“Well?” Jet steered Carrie toward the door to the outer yard.

Carrie forced a smile. “Well what?” Feigning ignorance was all she knew to do.

“I’ve given you some time to make up your mind. So, how about it? You wanna switch from cellblock D to C?”

Stepping outside and shielding her eyes against the descending sun, Carrie took a big breath and released it. “I really don’t see any reason to move. We have the same recreation time. Can’t we just spend time together during our break?”

Jet stepped in front of Carrie, glaring at her with beaded eyes. “You don’t get it. It’s not about spending time together during rec. It’s about you having a better time in my cellblock than you do in your present one.”

Carrie wished she had shared her dilemma with Susanna. She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t, and now the right words weren’t forthcoming. The last thing she needed was to anger Jet.

Better to change the subject. “Oh, look how tall the corn has gotten in the garden.”

She started to walk toward the fence, but Jet grabbed her arm and spun her around. “You haven’t answered my question, and who gives a rat’s ass about the fuckin’ corn?”

A silent gasp pushed past Carrie’s lips. Still words failed her.

“It’s your choice, but you might want to consider my offer seriously.”

“I like you, I really do.” Before thinking, Carrie’s concerns bubbled to the tip of her tongue, begging to be voiced. “But honestly, I think you need to know that I’m not into same sex relationships.” She swallowed hard, feeling a flush creeping up her neck and warming her cheeks.

Jet’s eyes widened and her face softened as she broke into laughter. Finally, she calmed herself enough to speak. “Where did you get the idea I wanted you for sex?” Her mouth curved into a smile.

Carrie was certain her face was beet-red. “Well… you… you gave me that impression when you said you could be a very loving person. You put a little too much emphasis on the loving part, I thought.”

“Then let me set you straight, my friend. I don’t care how long I’m in this joint. If it ain’t got a dick, I’m not interested. If I need pleasure, I can take care of myself, so you needn’t worry about me playing grab-ass with you.”

A wave of relief swept through Carrie. “That makes me feel a lot better. You just never know these days.”

“I know what you mean, but I ain’t a lesbian, if that’s what you thought. In fact, if you decide to join my little group of friends, I might even get you laid. I have connections, you know.”

Carrie’s eyes widened. What would Jet think if she knew Carrie was a virgin? She’d had her share of dates, but never found a man with whom she wanted to be intimate. Her mother had high standards and passed them on. Carrie shuddered. If her mom knew her only child was in prison, virgin or not, she’d probably spin in her grave.

“Well, what do you say? You up for a change?” Jet’s voice shocked Carrie out of her trance-like state.

She chewed her bottom lip and forced a smile. “Can you give me just a little more time? Please.”

“Look, Lang, I’m not one to beg. It’s your choice.” Jet walked to the fence and gazed out across the empty field. “I’m just being sociable, and offering my friendship, but if you’re happy where you are, then by all means, stay. Just don’t come crying to me when your cellblock cronies don’t play nice.”

“But… I didn’t mean…”

Jet held up a silencing hand. “No buts. I can tell by the look on your face that you’re afraid you pissed me off. Right?”

Carrie lowered her eyes and scuffed the toe of her rubber shoe against a rough spot in the cement, hoping to say the right thing. She looked up and met Jet’s gaze. “I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings. I welcome your friendship, but if I ask to move, then I offend those in my cellblock. I lose no matter what choice I make.”

Carrie expected Jet to be angry, but instead she laughed. “Just like a newbie. I’ll give you a little time to toughen up, and then maybe I’ll ask you again.”

A sudden wind gust blew Jet’s hair into her face. She tucked the dark strands behind her ears, turned on her heel and strode back into the recreation room without another word.

Left speechless, Carrie was surprised at how easy it had been to defuse a potentially dangerous situation. Maybe all the things she’d heard about Jet weren’t really true. She swallowed her nervousness, swatted at a bee that passed too close, then walked over and peered through the fence.

Beyond the chain link boundary, dust devils swirled through the recently plowed fields, spinning the loose topsoil into whirling dervishes. The land stretching endlessly in front of Carrie brought back the same hollow feeling she’d felt before. All those nights spent alone in her apartment. Maybe she wouldn’t feel so bad if there was someone waiting for her to get out of prison, but there wasn’t. The endless horizon was a painful reminder of her life—for as far as she could see nothing but vast emptiness loomed before her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud grating noise. She turned to her left and saw a uniformed man running a baton up and down the chain links separating the women’s yard from the men’s. She gulped down her surprise and took a step back.

“You best get going. Your recreation time is over in five minutes.” His voice commanded authority, but there was kindness in his powder blue eyes.