First Kiss (14 page)

“Nice to see you, Patsy.” He turned, but she caught his arm.

“Really? You and Baker? C’mon, what’s the real story? You wouldn’t have felt her up if she paid you. Now you have a kid?” She shook her head. “She was white trash. How’d you make a woman out of her that you’d want to keep?”

He could see Olivia heading to the parking lot.

Cade wondered at that moment what he’d ever seen in Patsy Woods. How many tumbles had they taken? How many lies had he told to be with her? It was her promise of one more time that had him driving away from his father for the last time.

Guilt riddled him, and he thought his heart might explode as he watched Gage struggle to sit in the car as Olivia buckled him in.

She deserved better than the man he’d been. Standing so close to Patsy Woods, he could feel the person he was nearly ooze away. It wasn’t what he wanted anymore. No more women. No more booze or late nights. He wanted the woman he loved and the child with his eyes.

“Ya know, Patsy, all those years ago I was wrong. I should have been sitting on that porch swing or been up in that tree with Olivia when I was off
feeling you up
. It should have been her with me that last night in town, not you.” He nodded. “I was an idiot. But ya know what? I’m never going to make that mistake again.”

He adjusted his sunglasses. “I’ll see you around. You’re not worth my time.”

Cade had driven straight to Olivia’s house, but she wasn’t there. That was a cause for alarm because where did she have that she could go? Her home and her son were all she had.

But as he stood on her front porch looking in the window, he saw the box he’d brought, still on the floor where he’d sat it. He knew exactly where she was.

Ten minutes later, he found her sitting on the ground next to his father’s grave.

He parked his car in the lot and eased out of the confined seat. Gage had looked up at him, but he didn’t run to him. He sat in his mother’s lap as if he knew she needed the comfort of him near.

“Olivia, I’m sorry for all that. I owe you years of apologies.”

Her cheeks were streaked with tears, and she shook her head at him. “I wasn’t worth anyone’s time back then. My mother didn’t want me. You didn’t want me. My stepfather only wanted…” She wiped at her eyes. “The only two people who ever treated me kindly are right here. Buried in the ground. And I’m still here facing the same people they tried to protect me from.”

“I don’t want to be one of those people who hurt you anymore. If the Carter men were the ones in your life that made sense then I should be in your life.”

“You were the one I wanted, and you were the one who didn’t care.”

“That’s not true.” He moved to her and tried to kneel down, but his knee wouldn’t bend. Damn it! “Olivia, stand up so I can talk to you.”

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore. You’re causing me so much pain just being here.”

“You need me here.”

She shifted her jaw in the air. “I’ve never needed anyone.”

“Listen, Gage is my family. I deserve to be with him even if you hate me.”

The tears started again and that cut him deep. How was it he could always make her cry?

“My problem is that I don’t hate you. I never did hate you and that drove me in the wrong direction—into the arms of the wrong Carter man.”

“Then let me be the one to love you.”

“I don’t think you can.”

The air squeezed in his lungs. She was right. When had he ever loved anyone but himself?

“Come back to the house with me. I have things I want to talk about.”

“Aspen Creek is my home. I’m not moving.”

“And I’m not going to ask you to move.” He reached down to her and helped her from the ground. “Hear me out. And after, if you feel the need, you can kick me out.”

She focused on him for a moment and then a smile formed on her lips. “I do think I hate you.”

“I don’t blame you.”

This time Gage reached up for him, and he pulled him into his arms and walked back to the parking lot with his arms around both the people he wanted to love the most.

Now he had to figure out how to tell her about his plans. That could seriously disrupt the progress he hoped he was making.

Chapter Fourteen

Gage had fallen asleep on the ride down from the cemetery, and Olivia was glad. She needed the ten minute drive to think about what she was going to do.

She’d waited her whole life for Cade Carter, and now he was begging for her. But Patsy had certainly raised some red flags. After all, she and Cade were different.

There was a lot to consider when she moved on with a man—even Cade.

Gage’s wellbeing was her main concern. She’d had a stepfather, and it was that same stepfather who had nearly taken from her the very virtue she easily gave to Conner.

Her brow began to sweat. In fact, it was years after her mother divorced the S.O.B. that he’d come after her. Austin picked her up and moved her to Grand Junction to hide her away, but he’d found her. It was Conner who had stepped in and took care of her. That certainly had made it easier for her to fall into his arms.

But now Cade had attached himself to Conner’s son, claiming him, doting on him, making him his own. She was sure him telling her that Gage was his only family was his way of securing her heart.

Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel. Gage was hers. What if she didn’t want to share him—even with his blood relative?

He was right behind her when she pulled into her driveway. There had been a moment of clarity. She didn’t want to share Gage. He needed to know that.

She stepped out of the car, and it surprised her that he was standing right there. She hadn’t heard him get out of the car, and how had he limped that fast? Or how long had she sat there lost in her thoughts?

There wasn’t a moment to tell him what she’d thought. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in tight to him. A moment later, his mouth was on hers and she was lost in a sea of confusion that Cade was causing with his kiss.

It wasn’t just a peck. He deepened the kiss. His tongue found hers, and when he pressed his hand against the small of her back, she was lost.

Who the hell cared who she shared her life with? Gage liked Cade, right?

She lifted up onto her toes and pressed her lips to his harder. He moved her just slightly so her back was against the car. If only she could keep Gage asleep a few more minutes, enough to carry him to his room and let him take a full nap, she could have Cade again.

“I love you, Cade.” Her voice cracked as she spoke when he broke the kiss only to trail hungry ones down her neck.

He rested his forehead on hers. “I won’t make you move.”

“I won’t make you give up your life in Wisconsin.”

“We can do this. We can be a family. You, me, and Gage.”

She nodded. That was what she wanted. She’d been stupid to tell him no before.

“Let me get Gage in the house and down for a nap.”

Cade pulled her in tight for one more kiss. “Hurry.”

Cade paced the floor as Olivia carried Gage to his room. He’d have liked to put him down, but she knew how to do it better and could get in and out. Cade would probably wake him.

There was a pent up energy surging through him now. He paced again, and this time he nicked the edge of the box with Conner’s things in it with his toe.

That, too, had been eating at him. Why didn’t she go through the box? Why didn’t it matter?

If you had a son with someone, didn’t you usually love them?

Well, that was relative, he thought. Not always was that the case.

He sat down on the couch, next to the box, and began to take out the mementos his father had tucked inside.

There was his letter jacket, his high school diploma, and a spelling bee trophy from third grade. A picture of the three of them as children in front of the tree house and a picture of Olivia and Conner at prom were in a small frame. He hadn’t even realized they’d gone to prom together.

How could he have remembered any of it? He was drunk on stolen wine with Patsy in the barn at Rose Ranch. He’d been such an idiot.

At the bottom of the box there was a shoe box, and this time he was nearly paralyzed when he saw it.

“I got him down. What are…” Olivia stopped and moved next to him as he pulled it from the box.

Atop the box, his father had written Cade’s name.

Cade sat back against the couch.

“He knew I’d find this.”

“What’s in it?” Olivia asked as she sat down next to him.

He opened the top and inside were all the papers to all the accounts that Cade would have to close out and a letter from his father.

He’d started to read it and didn’t even notice that Olivia had left the room and gone into the kitchen until she came back out with two glasses of ice water. She handed him one.

“Thank you.” He sipped it, unaware that his mouth had gone dry. “He knew I’d come when he died.” He held the letter up. “He says he’s sorry for being a bad father, bad enough that I moved away.” He shook his head. That hurt because it wasn’t the truth. He’d been the defiant son. “He said he came to see me play. He was there in the hospital when I was injured and that he wants me to take care of Gage because he loves him very much.”

Olivia placed her hand over her mouth and batted the tears that Cade could see welling in her eyes. Tears burned his eyes too, but he’d long been trained to push them back.

“He said one of his fondest memories of our childhood was watching you and I get married under the tree with Conner officiating.”

Olivia burst out in a laugh despite the tears that streaked her cheeks. “I remember that. I wore an old curtain for a veil. And we pulled flowers out of your aunt’s planter, and she was going to kill us all.”

“I hadn’t remembered. Not until I read it.”

She nodded. “You always said you’d be married to me someday.”

He chuckled. “I did?”

She sat down next to him. “I know it was dumb to think a boy would keep that kind of promise, but I always hoped you would.”

“Then why do you keep turning me down?”

“Because men don’t mean the things they say when they’re eight, and I don’t want you to hate me again.” She rested her hand on his knee. “You always said you’d take care of me, especially that day we hid out in the tree house when I was moving away—when you kissed me. The moment I climbed down from that tree because my stepfather was coming after us, you stopped taking care of me. I figured that was the end of us forever. Our friendship meant nothing.”

“That’s not true.”

“But it was true. You had your life away from me. You had your friends. You had Patsy.”

He let his shoulders drop. “And today I realized how stupid I had been.”

She reached for his hand and interlaced their fingers. “Do you really want to take care of me forever?”

“I do.”

“I have a lot of baggage.”

He touched her face. “I know.”

“Gage is a Carter. He should have the name.”

“That would be an honor.”

Olivia smiled. “If you’ll have us, I’ll marry you.”

He’d anticipated the joy that came from her saying those words. He’d pulled her into his arms and just held her. What he hadn’t known would come was the unease that settled over him. What did he know about being a husband and a father? He’d been the worst son, so why take this on?

He looked down at the box on his lap. There was something else in the bottom of it. He reached inside and pulled out a key.

Olivia grabbed it from him. “The safety deposit key.”

“I have everything now, right? The papers? The key?”

She gripped the key tight in her hand. “And when you’ve closed out his life…”

“I’m not leaving you.”

She sighed and fell into his arms. He’d spend the rest of his life proving that to her.

When Gage woke up, Cade had gone to him. Olivia didn’t interfere or step in when she heard Cade gag at a dirty diaper. He’d offered. She’d accepted. She needed to let him play daddy for a few minutes. It wouldn’t kill him.

Olivia walked out to the back porch and sat in the old, plastic chair. A breeze blew through the yard and the branches on the trees swayed. She closed her eyes and breathed in the bliss.

How had she gotten so mixed up with all the Carter men? She figured some people collected snow globes, others were addicted to alcohol, and she was a sucker for those blue eyes.

“You look content.”

She opened her eyes and saw the two loves of her life standing in the doorway. Gage clung to Conner’s teddy bear, and Cade held tight to Gage.

“I am content. I have you here. He has a silly grin on his face, and that ratty bear makes him happy. I have a home, a job, and a marriage proposal on the table. What more could a girl want?”

“Where do you want to get married?”

“In town on Monday morning at the justice of the peace.”

He laughed. “Very specific.”

“If I’m not specific enough, you’ll leave me again. I need to wrangle you in while I can.”

His smile had diminished and his eyes grew narrow. “Are you going to do this the rest of our lives? If you want to be my wife, you have to trust me.”

That was true, and she was fighting it with all she had.

Olivia stood and took Gage from him. “I’m sorry. I do trust you.”

“Good.”

“So Monday doesn’t work for you?”

Cade rubbed the back of his neck. “Not really.”

She felt the disappointment creep through her. “I see.”

“I need to head back to Green Bay for a few weeks and settle everything there.”

Olivia moved in closer to him. “You’re not staying there?” He’d said he wasn’t going to make her move, but she hadn’t let the thought completely settle into her mind.

“You’re here. He’s here. Our past is here.” He smoothed her hair with his hand. “We belong here. But I have to go back and take care of everything.”

“And you’ll be gone a few weeks?”

“Yes. When I come back, I don’t want to have to leave you again.”

She wanted to cry, but she wouldn’t. She’d waited all these years to marry him—again. She could wait three more weeks. “Will you marry me under the tree house?”