First Stop, New York (7 page)

“But, like, if you’re Max’s assistant, what were you doing hiding behind that plant?”

“Oh…yeah…huh. I guess you saw me. It’s just, uh,
that the, uh, maître d’ wouldn’t tell me where you were sitting and…” Corliss scanned the psych portion of her memory for something that could help her navigate this spy scenario. Then it occurred to her:
Narcissistic types require flattery.
She leaned in to whisper. “I guess he wouldn’t tell me because you’re
such
big stars.” Tanya did indeed look flattered. But Trent kept scowling. “And my prescription on my glasses needs to be adjusted, so I wasn’t sure if it was you two, and I wanted to be sure before I bothered a couple of innocent strangers who weren’t
very big stars
.”

“That’s so crazy,” giggled Tanya. “I have a prescription that needs to be adjusted, too!”

“Sounds pretty lame to me,” muttered Trent.

“Don’t be mean, Trent,” said Tanya. “Young women with a lot on their minds often have problems like these.” She smiled an understanding smile at Corliss. Corliss smiled one back and tried to pat down her hair. She had no idea what Tanya was talking about, but she sensed that Tanya was now officially on her side.

Now all she needed to do was win over Trent. “Look, I’m really sorry to bother you, Trent.”
Remember: Flatter him!
“I know people must bother you all the time. You are, after all, one of the
hottest actors of your generation
.”

Trent shrugged and grinned slightly.

Wow, it’s working…

“It’s just, um, Max wanted me to deliver the rewrite to you personally.” Corliss handed over the two scripts she’d printed at Uncle Ross’s.

Trent seemed impressed. Tanya clapped like a little girl at Christmas.

“He wanted to make sure you both had a chance to really look over the changes, because they really affect your characters. And because yours
are the
most important
characters on the show.”

Tanya clapped even more. Trent sat back in his chair and gave Tanya a satisfied smile. “Thanks, Corliss,” he said. “Yo, for a minute I thought you were a total stalker, but you totally rock.”

“Thanks! So, um, yeah,” Corliss stammered, stalling for time. “So, don’t you want to get home—to your separate places—and start looking over the changes?”

Tanya looked at Trent.

“We will,” he said. “But our food just arrived. Right before you jumped out of the plant.”

Sure enough, their food was on their plates, growing cold. Which meant Corliss needed a reason to keep herself there. It was time to bring out the big guns. She put on her hungriest face and looked longingly at their meals.

“Yeah, what is that? Some kind of fish? Like a whitefish? Boy, printing up those scripts kept me from having dinner and—”

“Oh, no!” said Tanya. “Do you want to join us—?”

“Listen, Corliss,” said Trent, cutting off Tanya, “we were in the middle of a really important discussion about, like, ourselves.”

“Oh, of course…So I guess I should get moving?”

Tanya frowned. Trent said, “Uh, yeah, kinda…”

Corliss stood from the table and backed up. “Okay, but if you have any questions tonight when you’re in bed—your
separate
beds—just call. I put my number on the script.
Any time! Even if it’s three
A.M.
and you’re there—
alone
—with questions!”

“Thanks for coming all this way, Corliss,” said Tanya, waving.

“Lates,” said Trent.

“Lates, totally!” Corliss said as she backed away. “I’ll just be on my way. Ooh, maybe I’ll pick up a Filet-o-Fish on the way home.” Then, feeling like a total imbecile, she raced back to her car.

The ’Bu

[REWRITE–DRAFT II OF PILOT EPISODE]

EXT. MALIBU BEACH—HIGH NOON

TRAVIS, 18, all-American, blond, model good looks, is perched atop his lifeguard station like a panther surveying his kingdom. Crystalline sky. Legendary swells. Suddenly, a shadow falls over his face. He leaps to his feet and blows his WHISTLE.

TRAVIS

Way too far out!

He waves in a PACK OF TWELVE-YEAR-OLDS splashing one another on their boogie boards. They immediately turn and paddle back to shore. Such is his power.

GIRL’S VOICE

Hey, Travis!

It’s ALECIA, 19. Her beauty is muted and her buckwheat-colored hair pulled back in a prim bun. She wears a long T-shirt, and her lunar blue eyes look weary. Zinc oxide on her nose completes the picture of a girl for whom
outward appearances are of no concern. Trent hears her, but he does not turn to face her. She continues on, despite his lack of interest.

ALECIA

(eagerly)

What time do you get off work?

TRAVIS

In about an hour.

ALECIA

(flirtatiously)

TRAVIS

Yeah, sure, whatever.

Alecia seems hurt by Travis’s lack of interest, but she tries to remain cheerful. She steps up on the edge of the lifeguard booth to give him a kiss, but he turns his head and she only grazes his cheek.

ALECIA

Okay…well, I’ll see you in an hour or so then.

A sad Alecia waves a wistful good-bye and lumbers down the beach.

Just then, Travis sees a gorgeous girl jogging slowly down the beach. He watches as she moves in slow motion toward him, her hair whipping in the wind. Suddenly, she slips and goes down hard in the surf. Trent jumps down and races over to her.

She is TESSA, 17, a lanky brunette in a butterscotch bikini with a sweet, flirtatious smile. Travis looks deep into her eyes as he helps her up.

TRAVIS

Are you okay?

TESSA

I think I stepped on a jellyfish.

It really stings.

Travis carefully scoops her up into his arms and carries her over to the lifeguard station.

TRAVIS

I’ll have to take a look at that.

I’m Travis, by the way.

He sets her down gently on the edge of the
sand and kneels in front of her. He flashes her his killer smile while he puts some SALVE and a BANDAGE on her delicate foot.

TESSA

I’m Tessa.

(shyly)

Thanks for saving me.

TRAVIS

Well, I couldn’t let someone as beautiful as you drown. Besides, it’s my job to guard every life on this beach. And I take that job very seriously.

TESSA

I have to find a way to make it up to you.

TRAVIS

How about dinner tonight? The pleasure of your company would be repayment enough for me.

TESSA

You don’t already have plans? It
is
Saturday night…

TRAVIS

TESSA

TRAVIS

It would be my pleasure.

Travis scoops Tessa up into his arms and carries her across the beach to her car.

TRAVIS

See you in a few hours.

Travis and Tessa move toward each other, about to hug, when another lifeguard’s WHISTLE sounds out in the distance. Trent gives her a sigh and a shrug and runs off toward the beach. Tessa’s car pulls away to reveal…

Alecia, wearing a dowdy sundress and holding a bottle of CHAMPAGNE. Tears stream down her face as she watches Travis run away. She saw everything, and she knows she has lost Travis to Tessa.

Malibu Canyon—7
A.M.
, the Next Morning

Max watched as a fleet of limos pulled up outside the luxury condos that had been rented for the cast for the duration of the production. Corliss, clipboard in hand, yawned next to him. Max yawned, too.

“Corliss, what did I say about you yawning?”

Corliss consulted her notepad. “That it causes an insidious chain reaction.”

“Exactly. Do you need another latte?”

“No thanks, Max, I’m already holding my pee from the first three.”

“TMI, Corliss.”

“Sorry. I over-share all the time.”

“So,” he said, consulting his Rolex, “are they all here?”

Corliss counted off the limos. “There are five, yes. Everyone’s here.”

Just then the limos stopped in front of Max and Corliss, and five crisply dressed chauffeurs leaped from their cars and
moved to open the passenger doors.

Tanya emerged from the first limo, toting a pink knapsack and a large crucifix.

“Hey, Corliss! Hope you got your own fish last night!”

Max leaned in to Corliss. “Explain, please.”

Corliss whispered, “I’ll have a report for you soon, Max. It’s about the Trent and Tanya sitch.”

Excellent,
thought Max.
I wouldn’t be caught dead with this fashion-backward girl at the opening of a Target, but she’s proving herself to be quite an asset.

Rocco’s limo was next. He disembarked, sucking down an enormous protein shake while reading
Fathers and Sons
.

“Morning, Rocco,” said Corliss. “Your condo is, um, let’s see, right up the hill to the left.”

“Much appreciated,” he said, not lifting an eye from his book.

JB came next, his decal-plastered laptop under his arm, yawning like a cat. This made Corliss yawn. Which made Max yawn.

“Um, JB,” said Corliss, looking at Max’s tonsils, “do you need a latte?”

JB nodded his sleepy head.

“I’ll have to see who’s in charge of catering, but I’ll send one up. Your condo is up the hill, the one next to Rocco’s.”

“Thanks, Cor. Do we have wireless?”

“Um…”

“Don’t look at me, Corliss,” said Max.

“I’ll check on that, JB.”

“
Danke
,” he said as he headed up to his condo.

Trent arrived next, wearing his wet suit.

“I guess he’s already in character,” said Max. “Good thinking, by the way, Corliss—arranging for Trent to arrive a few limos after Tanya.”

“I’m not sure I can take responsibility for that…”

“Corliss, what did I say about taking responsibility for things you weren’t responsible for?”

She consulted her pad. “As long as they please Max, accept all responsibility.”

“Exactly.”
I love how she repeats everything back like a parrot.

Anushka arrived last. She practically crawled out of her limo, two Starbucks Grande triple espressos in hand. “Where am I?”

“You’re at the location housing,” said Corliss. “Your condo is the last one on the right. Do you need any help getting there?”

“Naw, I can stumble my way,” she said, stumbling.

As the limos pulled off and the cast moved into their condos, Max turned to Corliss.

“Wonderful. Make sure Anushka gets the rewrite. She didn’t receive it last night because I didn’t want her to think too much about it.”

“Okay, Max,” said Corliss, swallowing a yawn until her face contorted and her shoulders curled.

“Do you have some kind of muscular condition, Corliss?”

Corliss shook her head and gulped the last of her yawn.

Malibu Beach—A Few Hours Later

Waves lapped lullingly. Gulls swooped overhead. Dolphins
played on the horizon. It was the picture of serenity, thought Corliss—except for one screeching starlet.

“
A sad Alecia lumbers down the beach???”
Anushka was hopping mad. She clutched the script in her hand like a brick she was about to toss at someone’s head. She was dressed in a long T-shirt that grazed the top of her knees, and her nose shone bright white from a huge dollop of zinc oxide. She was virtually unrecognizable.

“What’s the matter now, Anushka?” Max sighed.

“What’s the matter?!” She poked the script again. “Her beauty is
muted
and appearances don’t concern her?! And you ask me
what’s the
matter
?!”

“There’s no need to raise your voice, Anushka. I keep my voice at a very low level and my communication skills are heralded from Burbank to Mar Vista.”

“But why am I just getting this rewrite this morning, Max? Didn’t you say we’d get it last night to look over?”

“I did, but the writer wanted to burn the midnight oil so it would be perfect before any of you read it.”

Corliss, who was standing nearby with a big dollop of zinc oxide on
her
nose, knew this was a big lie. She was amazed Max could tell it without flinching. His behavior so far today did not bode well for the daily job evaluation she’d promised herself. Not to mention the Trent and Tanya experience the night before, which still made her feel dirty.

Anushka put her hand on her hip and looked Max straight in the eye. “By ‘the writer,’ do you mean that dude with the raccoon eyes?”

“Anushka,” said Max in his most condescending whisper, “that’s not respectful. The writer’s name is—is—”

“Petey,” Corliss chimed in, rescuing Max.

“Whatever his name is,” said Anushka, poking the script like it was someone she really didn’t like, “I am
not
going to say lines like ‘I have a special surprise, Travis!’—barf—and ‘Let’s hang out and do homework!’ I don’t play characters who do homework.”