First to Die (12 page)

I heard a splash and then thrashing along the outer bank, but my eyes were not adjusting fast enough to see that far in front of me. I yelled repeatedly as I crossed the river in a fury and felt my foot slip on the bed of slippery rocks and take me down into the icy water. I pulled myself up and crawled out onto the uneven edges of dirt and weeds. There was no sound except for the wind rushing through the trees and the steady whoosh of the river as it traveled its carved-out path. I dug and clawed my way over to the bank and made my way through the brush and timber. I walked and circled, yelling her name. She would have come, if she could hear me. She would have come back to me.

The thought of her being lost was overwhelming. The thought of someone taking her and hurting her was worse. I needed back-up and had to get back to the house to call for Neville. He would be on the road and would get here the quickest. The few minutes that it took me to maneuver through the water and my yard seemed to take forever. I ran through the house and took the radio from the table in the living room and pressed the mic.

"540, 520."

"Go ahead for 520."

I spoke as calmly as I could. "520, request assistance at 121 Water Street." My winded and cracking voice revealed my anxiety. I sat my radio back in its cradle and knew that I should have used my cell. I should have called dispatch directly. I should have called Neville directly. Those few words would travel the airwaves faster than a speeding train. I unlocked the front door and waited.

Jason was the first to fly through the door with Neville on his heels. I told them the events of the evening and Neville headed toward the back door. The rest would follow like a wild pack of wolves. The house was lit up like a circus act. The spotlights traveled from one end of the house to the other. I saw car after car arrive, uniforms of all colors of blue with their weapons drawn. Jason sat facing me in the front bay window, stroking and rubbing my hands. "You all right?

"Yes," I lied, fumbling with my soaked cloths and heavy breathing. I managed to get everything turned in the right direction, but it was sticking to me like paste and I was shivering. His dark eyes scanned me as he reached up to comb my hair back from my eyes. I did my best to hold back the tears, but my emotions betrayed my request and the floodgates ripped open. I had gone from afraid to hysterical to pissed off within seconds.

"Hey, hey, try to breathe." he said, looking into my eyes and wiping away my tears.

"Jason, there was somebody here. Somebody has Max."

"Don't worry, the entire house is being checked. Including the woods."

"I don't know what happened."

"Try to relax, we'll figure it out. I promise," he said, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around me.

"It doesn't make any sense. I know I locked the door."

"I'm sure it's something logical and I wouldn't expect you to be reacting any differently after what's been happening."

"It's not my imagination."

"Try to relax." He rubbed my arms.

"I can't, not now."

Leaving a door open or even unlocked is not my style, and everyone knew it. Lessons learned from the street that you never can shake. Jason leaned closer, slipped his hand around the back of my neck and slowly massaged the tension away. His strong hand was warm and gentle and all I wanted to do was melt into him, but I couldn't. He looked concerned, but I couldn't tell if he believed a word I said. I moved away, reached down, grabbed my boots and worked the wet leather back on.

"Whoa, wait. What are you doing?" He grabbed my arm.

"I'm going to find Max." I pulled away.

"No, you can stay right here until they clear the scene."

"No, I can't. I won't be able to rest."

"You're crazy, it's already being done."

"Yes, I am crazy. I also have a house full of cops and I'm taking advantage of that."

My heart was pumping from the anticipation of not finding Max and any evidence of an intruder. I could hear the commotion of footsteps and radio chatter floating from room to room. Lights were blaring and every inch was being searched. It was the second go-around and nothing was found. Doubtful eyes were peering at me. I walked in circles, trying to figure out what had happened. They were correct in their assumption. I was nuts. I apologized for the inconvenience and headed back to the kitchen.

I could see Neville smoking a cigarette through the dirty glass on the deck, swaying back and forth from left to right talking to Jason. I waved them in and waited as he took his last puff and exhaled out of his nose like an angry dragon. He wasn't happy. He shot a stern stare at Jason as he walked in and I could hear the lump in his throat pop as he closed the door. He strolled slowly, hands deep in his pockets, trying to hide the awkwardness.

"Sam, we couldn't find Max.” He looked down at the floor.

"Please, don't tell me that."

"I'm sorry. We'll have a better shot in the morning."

"I'll go back out tonight," I told him.

"Ah, I don't think so. You already know that's a bad idea." He reached up and touched my shoulder.

"You've got blood all over your sleeve," I gasped, and grabbed at his arm. "What happened?"

"I got caught up in some branches, no big deal." He laughed. "You know I'm made of steel."

"I'm so sorry." I felt another round of tears well up.

"Sam, it's not a problem."

I circled around and headed for the back door. "I won't leave her out there."

"If I have to camp out on the deck, I will. You're not leaving."

"Did you check all the doors?" I asked, ignoring his last remark.

"Yes, of course."

"No sign of entry, anywhere?"

"Correct."

I agreed to stay at home, but I made Neville and Jason promise to search with me as soon as the sun came up. We locked everything up and Neville made a call to dispatch with an alert for Animal Control and the house sank to a quiet hum as the last unit pulled out of the driveway, leaving only a black SUV belonging to Jason. I looked at him and tried not to give myself away. All my pretending was killing me. I always played cool with him, never crossing the line and always careful of my words and gestures when it had finally hit me that I was madly in love with him. I didn't have the guts to open my mouth and tell him. I couldn't utter the three taboo words that could destroy a lifelong friendship. I couldn't bear the weight of another loss.

"I'm not leaving," he said, unbuttoning his white shirt as he climbed the stairs.

Chapter 17

I
watched out the back window, expecting to see Max running to the door. I knew deep in my soul that she wasn't lost. She was on the hunt. She was protecting me, but not responding to my calls and not returning scared me. It was starting to rain and I watched the water weave its way down the glass in distorted lines. It was a gloomy night and the moon was hidden behind a thick slab of smoky granite. I turned away and headed for the stairs.

I walked into my room and Jason was leaning against my dresser. His shirt was completely open, with his hands clenching his hips. I felt my knees giving out. I couldn't remember the last time that he was up here. I wasn't sure why this time was different than any other, but he was making me nervous. I was vulnerable and I wasn't sure if I could handle myself.

"Besides everything that has happened, what's going on with you?" he said, as he walked to the window and turned around to face me.

"Nothing." I scanned every inch of him. "Really," I lied.

"You haven't talked to me in at least a week. You haven't returned any of my calls." He was right. I was avoiding him. I was pushing him out of my reach. I had no idea how I was supposed to act around him. We were friends, and it needed to stay that way. He had a new girl on his arm every week and I didn't want be one of them. I couldn't take anymore loss in my life and the thought of not having him around would finish me off.

"I see you every day at work. I don't want to talk about this. You're making a big deal out of nothing."

"I know you're upset about Max, but something else is wrong. I know you better than anyone."

"I promise you, nothing is wrong and you don't have to stay here tonight."

"I'm not leaving you alone.” He was standing in front of me now.

"I don't need a babysitter. I can handle it." His scent was staggering.

"I never said you couldn't handle it. I'll feel better if I'm here."

"That's fine. I just don't want you to feel like you're obligated to stay." Yes, I did. "What's Rachael going to think about it?" flew out of my mouth before I could catch it. Rachel was perfect. I’d tried to find something wrong with her, but I couldn't. She was the complete opposite of me and it was probably why I liked her so much.

"I really don't care what she thinks."

"Well, I do. I'm the one that has to do damage control every time one of your girlfriends has a meltdown."

"I'm sorry." He raised his hands to his face, trying to block my jabs.

"She called me last week, wanting to know where you were."

"I had no idea." His eyes were wide.

"Either did I, so I lied to her and said you were working a case.

"Why didn't you tell me she called you?"

"Because it would have been her demise. I don't know what your problem is and why you can't manage to behave yourself. Your attention span is getting shorter and the carnage is piling up way too fast. Where were you last week, anyway?" I managed to laugh. "Never mind, that was a stupid question. I'm sure that I'll be meeting her soon." I laughed again.

I brushed past him, grabbed a pair of pajamas from the dresser and started toward the door. "You can sleep in my bed. I'll be downstairs waiting for Max."

I wanted to crawl in that bed right next to him and wrap every inch of my body around his. I wanted him to hold me and tell me that everything would be all right and that he would never leave me. My imagination was working overtime. The inner battle was taking over my common sense and I was beginning to think that maybe one night wouldn't be so bad, maybe I could handle it. Maybe the crush of the door slamming in the morning wouldn't send me plummeting over the edge. I snapped out of the madness whirling around in my brain and headed back downstairs.

I went straight for the coffeemaker and brewed a full pot for the long night. I was already crazy and adding a few jolts of caffeine would guarantee that I would be a bug-eyed lunatic by morning when it was time to hunt for Max. My laughter echoed through the house. I had finally lost it. I didn't care. I had Jason in my bed and I wasn't in it. What a crackpot, my dad used to say. I should have it tattooed on my ass.

I nestled in the corner of the family room couch with my head resting over the back so I could watch out the window. The wind was blowing the rain sideways and it sounded like the old-fashioned popcorn machine at the Main Street Theater. The constant explosions of thunder were sending tremors through the old house and the flashes of lightning were big and bright enough to light the darkest part of the forest. I watched every movement across the river and every movement was Max. I rubbed my fingers around my eyes and pushed the illusions back to their appropriate place.

I ran the details of both scenes over and over in my head and still they made no sense to me. I didn't expect it to at this point, but I had expected to have one piece of evidence that I could work with. I knew that every investigation was exactly like connect the dots and each tiny piece would bring us closer to the answers. How I was going to get us there...I had no fucking clue. I sang the shit out of the sick little rhyme like it was the latest number one hit and realized that I might have missed my true calling in life.

Chapter 18

M
orning arrived faster than I thought it would and the sun abruptly snatched the sparkling sapphire blanket from the sky and threw it off to the side, like the cleaning lady over at the Come and Go Motel. I honestly didn't know what they were thinking when they picked that name. Most people called it the C&G to escape the embarrassment and wise cracks but they always managed to slip a few in. It couldn't be avoided. I slapped the nasty chick that had followed me from last night’s nightmare off my back and headed upstairs to check on the animal that was sleeping in my bed. I rounded the corner and was immediately consumed by his organic aroma. The man didn't wear cologne, but he smelled so damn good. I reached up and pinched my nose. I paced myself and calculated the next round of dodge ball.

"Um," floated from somewhere beneath the feather pillows. "Get in here with me."

I thought about it for a split second. "You're such an ass."

The cover flipped in the air in a sudden whoosh of a giant wing and revealed his naked, tan body against the soft white sheets.

"Knock your shit off and get out of bed. You're really pissing me off."

"You're killing me." He climbed out of bed and strolled over to his perfectly organized cloths, neatly draped over the black leather chair. I gave him no reaction. Jason Bradford equals self-deprivation. This was my punishment. This is what I had to put up with.

I opened the closet door to block the view of his full moon crossing over the horizon. He could be dumped naked in the middle of Sterling Park and still retain is dignity. I grabbed my orange sweatshirt from the shelf and wondered why I hadn't thrown the nasty-looking thing in the garbage. I had a habit of saving things, just in case. Orange, not a good color unless I was the designated crossing guard for the day. If I got lost, I would stick out like a traffic cone. My sense of direction and my addiction to GPS had never failed me, but I had no desire to spend the night in the woods.