Fish Out of Water (32 page)
“Please,” I pant, only just realizing how fast I rode here. My legs are practically jelly. “Where is he? Tell me he didn’t leave again. I messed everything up and I need to talk to him.”
He frowns. “After his shift he disappears. Doesn’t even tell me where he’s going.”
I give him a pained look. “No.”
“But…” He raises a finger, a shadow of a smile on his face. “If you promise me you won’t give him bad news, I might have a good lead for you.”
I gulp. “I hope what I have to say isn’t bad news to him, because then I might really have to quit working here.”
A bright grin breaks under his mustache. “I hoped you’d say that. Come here.”
I follow him to his office and watch him rifle through the papers on his desk for who knows what. “He doesn’t tell me where he goes, but I found these in his jacket pocket yesterday when I was doing laundry. Figured I’d keep them in case he wanted them.”
He holds up a handful of receipts, and I grab them from him. As I flip through them, I can hardly believe what I’m seeing—every single one is from the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I hold them to my chest, feeling like the most foolish girl in the world for not seeing just how much he loves me.
“Not sure what he does there for half the day,” Supervisor Clark says. “But I have a good guess who he’s thinking of.”
“Thanks.” I’m already half way out of the office when I say it, and then I’m back on my bike speeding in the direction of Cannery Row. The crowds get thicker and thicker the closer I get. Of course they do—it’s the last weekend before school starts. Everyone is probably trying to soak in the final days of summer break.
There’s a horrible line when I get to the Aquarium. I bounce and fret and almost consider calling Dylan, but I want to do this in person. I want to show him that he’s not the only one willing to go to crazy lengths for this to work.
When I finally get in, I stare at the expansive lobby, suddenly very aware of just how large this place is. And the
people.
They are everywhere. I have no idea how I’ll find him or if he’ll leave while I’m looking, but there’s nothing to do but start. I run for the Living Kelp Forest, scanning everything, hoping to see him. I even stand on benches to get a better look.
Not here.
I move on to the octopus exhibit and the touch pools, where there are way too many kids. I don’t spend much time there—Dylan wouldn’t hang out in such a loud place. I check the cafeteria and stores before heading for the other side of the museum. I’m frantic, worried to death that I won’t be able to find him at this point.
Checking the deep ocean area is hard because the room is dim compared to the giant wall where turtles and fish swim right past me. After I’m satisfied he’s not in there, I head for the jellyfish. It’s another dark exhibit, and it’s especially crowded today. I wish I was taller. It would make seeing through the masses much easier.
It’s supposed to be dark so people can see the jellies, but I’m angry I can’t see. Everyone is a black silhouette against the bright blue windows and ethereal floating creatures.
My breaths are shallow, and I can feel tears pricking at my eyes. This is crazy, to think I can find him here. I almost think about giving up, but then I catch something familiar in front of the Aquariou Jellyfish tank.
A slouching, sullen figure.
No one could look that depressed on vacation, so I push my way through the crowds to get a better look. The closer I get, the more my hope rises. It’s definitely a guy, and his hair looks right—messy and a little too long.
The second I get his profile, I know it’s Dylan.
That’s when a new flood of fear wells up inside me, and I stop just short, watching him. I have no idea how to do this. Maybe I should have
planned
something. I’m about to look like an idiot walking up to him with absolutely nothing to say.
And yet I’m doing it anyway. Before I know it, I’m right next to him. He doesn’t see me, just stares ahead like you do when you’re surrounded by strangers. I wrack my brain for something clever, some kind of opener that says everything I want and feel in one little sentence.
“The Aquarium, huh,” is what actually comes out. I’m super eloquent like that.
He looks down at me, and his eyes go wide as he jumps back a little. “How’d you know I was here?”
I bite my lip, the whole search for him suddenly seeming more like stalking. “Your uncle found a bunch of Aquarium receipts while he was doing laundry. So I followed the trail.”
“I see.” He relaxes just slightly, but there’s still hesitation in his eyes. “And why’d you come looking for me?”
“Because…” I look down, as if the words I’m supposed to say are written on the floor. Sadly, they are not. “I needed to tell you something. Even if you never want to see me again, you need to at least know this.”
“What?” His voice is quiet in such a bustling room, but I can still hear the hope in it. That’s what pushes me on.
I meet his gaze. “You’re enough. You’re
more
than enough. You’re so enough that it scares the hell out of me. I’ve sucked at making sure you know that, but if you let me try again I promise to tell you every day how much I love you.”
He stares at me, and I have no idea what he’s thinking. It’s torture. Then one side of his mouth curls. “You love me?”
I nod slowly. “So much.”
His grin gets bigger. “How much?”
“To the point that it hurts not to be with you. All I want is you. All the time. I don’t know how to be without you anym—”
Dylan scoops me up, kissing me like no one else is there. I smile, laugh, and kiss him until some lady tells us we need to move. He doesn’t seem happy about putting me down, but he does anyway. “C’mon, show me your favorite spots.”
We talk about fish and steal kisses in dark corners and I never want this to end. I don’t think he wants it to, either. And right now, that’s enough.
Acknowledgments
I want to thank the people who believed in this book, and for that I have to start with my dear friends and crit partners who helped me get this book in shape: Kiersten White, Kasie West, Michelle Argyle, Sara Raasch, Sara Larson. You are amazing people and writers, and most of the time I wish I could be as cool as you guys. And to Jenn Johansson, Renee Collins, and Candice Kennington, thank you for always cheering me on through all the hard stuff as well. Thanks for sticking this out with me, guys, truly you are saints for dealing with my crazy.
I want to thank my Mom and Dad for being amazing parents who taught me how to be a good person through their own examples, even when they sometimes didn't have the best examples in their lives growing up. You two are amazing, and I miss you a lot now that you live so very far away. And to my siblings, Mark, Ariel, and Kenna, thanks for being excited for my little dreams and for being awesome people I can lean on even when you live half way across the planet. You all keep me going.
To Nick, I love you times infinity and am grateful you are so awesome. Thanks for being the best husband and for backing me up when I'm on deadline. To my kids, Ben, Kora, and Gilly, you are really the best ones I could ask for. You are all really awesome at playing video games thanks to my writing career, and I hope when you become pro gamers you will thank me for that.
To my editors Sara O'Connor and Jenny Jacoby, an extra special thanks for helping me make this book even stronger. I hope you're as proud of it as I am.
And to my agent, Ginger Clark, thank you for your endless support and confidence in my writing. It means the world, especially when I doubt myself. I know you're there rooting for me, and it makes a difference.
Finally, though she's not alive, I want to thank my grandma Carole for the good memories, and even for the not-so-good ones. Thank you for being a real person, flaws and all, and for teaching me in your own way. This book wouldn't have happened if it weren't for your influence on me, and I love you. I also know you loved me, no matter what words you might have said. You would probably kill me for this book, but writing it helped me keep a piece of you in my heart forever. For that, I'm the most grateful.
Natalie Whipple killed three goldfish while researching this novel (which Mika would be very ashamed of), but she hasn’t killed any since. She grew up in California and spent many a family vacation in Monterey, and now she lives in Utah with her husband and three children frequently wishing she was closer to a beach.
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