Five: Out of the Dark (24 page)

“I knew it was getting close,” Johnathan said, still not looking up. It killed me to see him so broken down. His cheeks blushed red. He was angry and embarrassed. I guess it would be embarrassing for a boy to turn into a monster once a month. We girls were used to it …

Seth looked at me and I nodded for him to continue. “So, we were thinking it would be a good idea to go back to the park. To the same place as … as before. If that’s okay with you, I mean.”

“That’s a good idea. We should go early to be safe.”

“Yeah, that’s what we were thinking. The moon rises around eight.”

“Sounds like you guys have it all figured out, then. Just let me know when you’re ready to leave.” There was more than a touch of bitterness to his voice. I guess he didn’t appreciate other people making plans for him—without him.

Johnathan started to stand from the table. Halli reached out to stop him and he reflexively threw her hand away from his.

“Sorry, Johnathan,” she said, surprised at his reaction. “There’s just one more thing we should talk about.”

As if on cue, Alec came traipsing out from the storage room with a ring of duct tape wrapped around one of his arms, the other end of which was stuck to a piece of metal pipe. “I remembered it!”

“Remembered what?” Johnathan eyed the tape suspiciously.

“Oh, hey Johnny. I was just seeing if I could remember this spell. Did they tell you our plan?”

Seth jumped in before he could answer. “We told him most of it. We haven’t talked about his hands yet.”

“My hands? What about them?”

I tapped Halli on the arm. He would hopefully take it better coming from her.

“Well, Johnathan, we were trying to think of a way to protect your face, you know, from your … the, uh, claws. Seth suggested duct tape, and Alec knows a binding spell that’ll make it stronger and unbreakable until he releases it.”

Johnathan was silent. His hands curled into tight fists and he turned a deeper shade of red. He was close to losing it.

I tried to speak his name, but nothing came out but a weak whoosh of air. Without thinking about what I was doing, I reached across the table and touched his hands to get his attention. He jerked away like I’d touched him with a branding iron. I had his attention, though. His eyes flickered with gold.

I mouthed
sorry
and pointed to my throat to explain that my voice was now completely gone. A spark of tenderness flashed across his face as he fought to gain control of his demon. Several deep breaths later, he was able to unclench his hands. He looked at Halli. “My face will be fine. I don’t need your binding.”

I slapped my open hand on the table—a little harder than I’d planned. The noise echoed off the walls. I tried to talk again—to no avail. I looked at the others, frustrated and desperate. I needed them to talk him into this. I couldn’t stand the thought of him gouging his face again. What if he damaged his eyes?

“Don’t be such a martyr, Johnny. Your girlfriend over there doesn’t want your pretty face all scratched up and we think we have a way to prevent it. Relax, man.” Leave it to Alec to be blunt where delicacy was needed.

Johnathan looked at me then back at Alec. “She isn’t my girlfriend,” he said with a hint of sorrow amongst the anger. “Scratches heal.”

I balled my hands into fists. I wanted him to look at me, but he avoided my eyes like the plague. So, I stood up and leaned over the table until our eyes met.
Let us do this,
I mouthed, then added,
please.

“Paige … it really doesn’t matter, does it? So what if I scratch my face? Maybe we’ll all get lucky and I’ll slice my jugular this time.” Boy, did he know what to say to make me furious.

I slapped him. Hard. Right across that gorgeous face that was the subject of such contention at that moment. Not the smartest thing I’d ever done. About as smart as it would be to rattle a nest full of hornets that were already enraged, or to reach into a den full of irate rattle snakes.

Johnathan growled, placed both hands flat on the table and stood so swiftly I was surprised the whole table didn’t tip over. He towered over me; his eyes were almost all gold now, very little of the lovely brown left around the edge of the irises.

“Uh, guys? I think you should both step back and settle down for a minute,” Seth said. “Paige? Seriously, step back.”

The strain in his voice prompted me to do as he asked. Johnathan’s entire body shook.
I’m such an idiot. I just promised him I would stay away from him so as not to provoke him—and what do I do? I
slap
him. Awesome move, Paige.

I walked away—keeping a wide berth around where he still stood shaking—and went into my and Halli’s room. I shut and locked the door behind me before slamming my fist into it. I stomped my feet a few times like a two-year-old because of the pain that shot through my hand and up my arm.

I spent at least an hour just laying on my sleeping bag, eyes open, thinking about the events of the past twenty-four hours or so. Once I calmed down, I decided I really owed Johnathan an apology and a better explanation—I still had to convince him to let us bind his hands the next day. The fact that I had no voice was probably a good thing. I don’t think he would have let me near enough to talk anyway. So I sat up and pulled a notebook and pen from my backpack.

Johnathan,

First I would like to apologize for my behavior. I didn’t mean to lose control. Slapping you was stupid on so many levels and there is really no excuse for it. Please forgive me. I wanted to argue one more point as to why you should let us bind your hands tomorrow night. Yes, I worry about your face being wounded, but more important than that, I worry about your EYES being wounded. Lost eyesight is not something you can get back. You were
very
lucky last time that the injuries you got didn’t include your eyes—many of the scratches and gouges came too close. Please consider this danger, John. And, please accept my apology for my irrational behavior. It’s been a really stressful couple of days.

Love, Paige

I folded it and wrote his name on the front.

I stealthily opened the door. I walked into the large dining area and over to the bar where Halli was heating some soup for dinner. The boys were nowhere in sight.

Halli noticed me and came over to where I sat on a stool. I showed her Johnathan’s name on the folded letter as a way of asking where he was.

“Johnathan needed some fresh air. Alec and Seth thought it would be a good idea to go with him.” She left it at that. No explanation needed.

I nodded and walked over to Johnathan’s sleeping corner. I laid the note on his pillow then went back to the bar.

“He came very close to losing it, you know,” Halli said, still stirring.

I nodded and looked down at the countertop.

“After you left the room, it took him a good fifteen minutes to stop shaking and for his eyes to go brown again. You really need to be more careful, Paige. Remember me telling you about the werewolf guy that wrote that book? About how he said as it got closer to the full moon each month, he became more and more irrational and out of control of his anger?”

I did remember, now that she brought it up again. I wished I’d remembered a few hours earlier, maybe I would’ve thought about my actions a little more. Probably not though, I was having some trouble with my own emotions since the
Sentience
incident.

Her voice softened just a little in response to the sadness on my face. “Just try to remember that from now on. I know you’ve had a rough couple of days, but Johnathan needs us all to be understanding of his mood swings, even if it’s hard. When you’re feeling better, we need to get back to searching for a cure. I worry he’s going to get worse with each cycle.”

I nodded in agreement. I was further along in the cure business than she knew—but I wasn’t going to tell her that, or anyone else.

he boys came back long after Halli and I had gone to bed. I heard them come down the stairs as I lay wide awake. I also heard the wonderful sound of Johnathan laughing at something Alec said. That sound came to my ears far too infrequently these days. I closed my eyes and wished for better times.

A few silent minutes passed and I heard a gentle knock on my door followed by his soft voice.

“Paige, are you awake?”

My heart sped up. I went to the door and opened it just a crack.

“You didn’t need to apologize,” he whispered. “I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. I’m sorry I lost control and wouldn’t listen to reason. You’re right to be worried about my eyes being damaged. I’ll let Alec and Seth bind my hands this time. I’m sorry.” He raised a hand like he was going to touch my face, but dropped it before it reached me.

I mouthed,
I’m sorry. You’re forgiven.

He smiled and shook his head. “No need to say you’re sorry, but if it makes you feel better, you’re forgiven, too.”

I smiled back and mouthed,
Thank you.

“I’m going to bed now. Try to get some sleep.”

I nodded and closed the door when he turned to go.

I was finally able to fall asleep knowing he forgave me and he was going to let us better protect him.

Once again, I was the last one to wake up. I would have woken up screaming if my voice hadn’t been gone. I dreamt about the trees, their bark-faces laughing at me as I lay screaming, blood pouring out of the holes where my arms and legs had been ripped from my body. My voice still worked in my dream and I awoke with the echoes of my own screams bouncing around in my head. The worst part came right before waking up. Johnathan stood over me, his nostrils flaring with the scent of my blood, drool slipping down his chin as his teeth grew and sharpened …

I clamped my hands over my mouth and breathed heavily through my nose until I calmed down. I took my clothes to the bathroom where I showered and dressed in record time. I did not want to be alone with my thoughts.

Halli had a special treat waiting for me at the bar. She’d risen early and gone to Joe’s to get the ingredients. She heated some water and squeezed lemon juice in it, then stirred in a teaspoon of honey.

She handed me the steaming cup and said, “Here, this is supposed to help with your throat. And you should try not to talk for most of the day and maybe by tonight you’ll have a little bit of a voice.”

I smiled my appreciation and took a sip of the warm liquid. It felt wonderful going down my damaged throat.

“How does it feel, Paige?” Seth asked.

I nodded and smiled.

“I don’t know guys, it’s been kinda nice having Paige as a mute. Do we really want to hurry the process of her getting her voice back?” Alec teased.

I slugged him in the arm.

Seth and Halli laughed; Johnathan’s mouth twitched a little like he wanted to smile but couldn’t quite remember how. I watched his reflection in the remnants of the mirror behind the bar. He eyes were filled with sadness, the sparkle gone from them. Just beneath the layer of sadness there was fear. I realized I’d been so wrapped up in how this lycanthropy-thing was seriously interfering with my relationship goals that I hadn’t thought enough about how Johnathan must be feeling.