Fixer-Upper (Spinning Hills Romance 3) (15 page)

“Then let me clear up
my
feelings right now. I feel
nothing
for you but anger and resentment. You think you’re such a great guy, but what you just did was mean and selfish. You put me on the spot. I hate that. If you truly cared about me, you’d know that.”

Johnny looked as if he’d been slapped. She made a move to go back inside, but he stepped in front of the door, blocking her way. He pierced her with a look of such guilt and regret, it made her pause. “I thought this would be easier on you. I thought I’d tell you how I felt in a way that would allow you to think on it or ignore it as you saw fit. I thought I was sparing you the embarrassment of a one-on-one talk.”

Marissa looked down, angry, but hating that she believed he meant no harm. He never did. And yet... “I’m getting married, Johnny.
That’s serious
. And you seem to think it’s just fun and games to tell me you have an infatuation with me.”

Johnny raked a hand through his hair and shook his head. “Look, I’m sorry Brian is inside, but . . .” He sighed. “I screwed up and this is where we are.” He caught her wary gaze and stared into her eyes for a long moment, his expression serious. “I love you, Marissa, and I think you should know. That’s what I was trying to say.” He stepped out of the way and held the door open for her. “But I’ll respect your wishes. I won’t say it again.”

Marissa couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. The only thing moving in her entire body was her heart, which was thumping against her chest in a rhythm that would have her fainting if she didn’t gain control over it. “No. You don’t. You don’t know me.”

“I know your heart.” It was barely a whisper, and he wasn’t looking at her. He opened the door wider and gestured for her to go inside.

“Johnny!” a woman called when she spotted him through the open door. A moment later, she was hanging on to his sleeve, telling him how much she’d enjoyed the performance.

Marissa stepped through the open door and left them alone.

 

Johnny disengaged from the woman who’d been talking to him, said good-bye, and walked to his truck, feeling heart-heavy and somewhat stunned. His brothers had tried to tell him it was a bad idea. Why hadn’t he listened? The moment he’d seen Brian, he’d faltered.

But then he’d watched him drape his arm over Marissa’s shoulder, and the possessive act cut him into angry and unreasonable little pieces. Parts of him wanted to leap from the stage, shove Brian halfway across the room, and tell him what he thought of him, while other parts of him nagged at his sense of logic. Why should he feel so strongly that Marissa and Brian did not belong together?

They were
engaged
. Marissa loved him. The fact left him hollow and cold. For the first time in his life, he wouldn’t be landing on his feet. As he walked to his truck, he felt as if he was dragging his heart with him. Because for the first time in his life, he’d landed on his heart.

“Hey!” a voice called, and Johnny stopped dead in his tracks. Marty.

He drew in a breath and turned to see Marty jogging up to him, a pissed look on his face. “It was Marissa all along, wasn’t it?” Marty cut to the chase in an accusing tone the moment he reached him.

Johnny looked down at the dark pavement. He couldn’t answer. Marissa was right; he’d put her on the spot, and this was the result. Marty had guessed. Saturday night might not have been his fault, but this was. He felt like a turd.

Marty sighed, loud and deep, and Johnny looked up. Marty was shaking his head, as if he didn’t know what to think. “Look, I think I can see how it all happened. I get why you were so sure it was Melinda. I’m guessing no one knew Marissa was even there that night, too. But you need to leave Marissa alone. The look on her face is what made me put two and two together. Brian was right there, dude. How could you do that to her? And after what happened on Saturday?”

Johnny was at a total loss for words—for the first time in memory.

Always a doer and never much of a talker, Marty pinched his nose, as if he wasn’t done but he didn’t know how to work through Johnny’s silence. “Stay away from Marissa, Johnny.”

That gave Johnny an opening. Something to say. “I’ve told her how I feel, and I won’t pursue her, if that’s what you mean. I won’t tell her my feelings again, and I won’t follow her around like some lovesick puppy or crazed stalker. But if she and Brian don’t work out, and if she decides to try something with me, I’m not staying away.”

Marty relaxed his shoulders a bit, but his arms remained rigid and crossed. “Fair enough. But don’t count on it. She’s happy. And if someone’s happy, you don’t mess with it. You and Marissa together would be a disaster. Brian is good for her.”

That raised Johnny’s hackles. He straightened. “That’s not fair. I’ve messed up, and it’s happened enough that I know the problem is me.” He looked down, letting the truth of the statement sink in. When he looked back up, he met Marty’s eyes. “But you and I have been friends for a reason. I’m not a bad guy, and I’ll figure things out. I have to. But you’re saying you thought I was good enough for one sister, but not for the other? And you think Brian is good enough for Marissa, but I’m somehow not? Do you hear yourself?”

“I told you I didn’t see you and Melinda together, but not because I thought you were bad for each other. Melinda would never have let you buy that house or come home with a bunch of dogs. That might’ve been a good thing. And you’ve got a strong work ethic and you’re motivated—Melinda needs someone like that. But with Mom and Dad so worried about Melinda, I feel like it’s time someone really looked out for Marissa. That’s all I‘m doing.”

That brought Johnny’s usually mild temper to a boiling point. “And you’re looking out for her by warning
me
away while giving
Brian
your blessing?”

Marty threw his hands up. “What the hell is your problem with Brian? He’s never had a problem with you. And everyone else likes him.”

“My problem is, he’s not a stand up guy. He was in on almost every prank we ever pulled, and yet he never once stepped up to the plate when we got caught. Don’t you remember the goat? It was his idea! And yet he was crowned homecoming king with a seemingly clear conscience, while we were banned from the dance. Who does that? I know it was a long time ago, but still.”

“It doesn’t matter what you think—it’s not your job to save her from Brian. And Brian felt bad about being crowned king. He had no way of knowing that was going to happen, and he wasn’t the only guilty guy voted onto the homecoming court that night!” Marty rarely raised his voice and they both looked back, but there was no one there. “Out of maybe ten or twelve friends, only two kept getting into trouble. You and me. Doesn’t that tell you something? Most people have a healthy sense of self-preservation, and that’s not a bad thing. Marissa doesn’t have one. She
needs
someone who does. Look what you pulled tonight! And here, at my place of business, knowing I was mad at you already.” Marty shook his head. “Brian could tell something was up. You should’ve seen how uncomfortable and upset Marissa was. She was squirming in her seat!”

For the second time that night, Johnny felt lower than dirt. Like a piece of gum stuck to the pavement.
What
was
wrong with him? Why the hell did everything backfire when it came to him and women?
He blew out a breath, wondering if he and Marty could get over two bust-ups involving his sisters, one so soon after the other. “I didn’t know Brian would be here, and I thought it was the easiest, least awkward way for her to learn how I felt.”

Marty blew up. “That’s a joke! You’re acting like you’re a real prince for telling her how you feel in your let’s-make-everyone-laugh way. What the hell makes you think she
needs
to know your feelings anyway? She doesn’t! And if you would’ve tried to get ahold of Melinda a year ago—when this whole thing started and you thought you’d met her and not Marissa—you would’ve confronted things head-on, figured it out, and
none of this would’ve happened
. You’ve been out from under your mom’s roof for years. Nobody needs you to help them avoid uncomfortable situations, and you don’t need to keep avoiding them, either!”

Johnny froze in place, suddenly feeling as if his insides had turned to ice. Marty instinctively took a step back, as if he knew he’d gone too far.

Somehow Johnny managed to get in his truck and peel out, without a backward glance. There was too much noise in his head, and the only place he could think of to go was home.
His home
. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

His home, the kids at school, and his brothers. Those were the areas in his life where everything still worked. Those were the areas he’d stick to. They needed him, and he needed them. Right now, it seemed that was all he knew anymore . . . because clearly he didn’t seem to know much about himself.

Marissa made it back to the table, but she didn’t feel like she was fully there. Brian didn’t want to leave, and she had no real reason to drag him out. She looked up a while later, feeling someone’s eyes on her, and she saw Marty heading toward them, his eyes wild, as if he didn’t know what he was doing, which was unusual for her big brother. He slapped his hand on the table and announced, “I’ve decided I’m throwing Brian and Marissa an engagement party, right here, whenever they decide. And you’re all invited.” He waved around expansively before looking over at Marissa and Brian. “Just tell me when.”

Brian’s eyes widened. “Uh, thanks, buddy. But I don’t know.” He looked at Marissa, as if asking for help.

Thankfully, Marty’s table-slap and booming voice had jump-started her brain. “Brian has a lot of work the next six weeks. He’s transitioning his old clients to their new PR manager, and getting acquainted with his new clients down in Cincinnati.”

“Then in six weeks it is. Do any of you have a calendar on you?” He looked at Sam and Dan pointedly then, and Marissa knew what he was doing. He was on to Johnny, and he was sending a message. Even Marty knew she and his best friend spelled disaster. “How about you, Cassie? You always have one on you.”

Cassie was Sam’s girlfriend and Marissa remembered her well. She was four years older, and she’d only come around weekends and summers when they were growing up, but she’d always been kind to Marissa and Marissa had looked up to her because she seemed brave and full of adventure. At that moment, though, what she seemed was at a total loss for words. She silently handed her smartphone over to Marty, who said, “Is Saturday, July thirty-first, good for you two?”

Marissa and Brian dug their own phones out and scrolled. Although everyone else at the table seemed to grasp how strange Marty was acting, Brian seemed oblivious.

“It works for me,” Brian said, but he nudged Marissa under the table. What did he expect her to do? Lie or try to come up with an excuse when so many eyes were on her? And why was he even resisting her brother’s generous offer?

“Um, the national fair I’m hoping to take my class to is that week, and if we make it, we won’t be back until Saturday morning. I’ll be exhausted, and then I’d have to prepare to leave for Ecuador the following week . . .” It was the biggest excuse she could manage.

“July thirty-first at eight p.m. it is, then,” Marty declared. “So you have plenty of time to rest. I know how many troublemakers will be on that trip.”

Was Marty talking about Johnny? Did he think Johnny would be going to the fair, too, if they made it? Marty then turned to the table behind him to ask the people there how they were enjoying their evening.

An awkward silence followed his departure, until Cassie cleared her throat. “Tell us more about the fair, Marissa. Your videos were great! They were fun and they really showed how hard the kids are working and how much they’re learning. I voted before I got here, but I didn’t get a chance to read much about the fair.”

“I voted, too. I loved your first act! And your videos were among the best,” Holly agreed.

Marissa felt her troubles melt away a little. “You saw the videos? You voted?” she asked, feeling excited and anxious all at once. “Thank you! I was too nervous to watch anybody else’s videos today, but I voted and I forwarded the link before I left school. Did Marty forward it to you?” The question was out of her mouth before the obvious answer came to her. Marty probably hadn’t had time to look at his e-mail yet.

“Johnny sent it,” Holly confirmed. “But he hasn’t had a chance to explain what it’s all about.”

And so Marissa explained to them the gist of the Mosaic Marathon leading up to the fair, and that prompted a whole new set of questions.

“How are you going to pay for it?” Cassie asked. “I could help with fund-raisers.”

Marissa brightened. “That would be great. For now, though, I’m requesting a grant from the Marconi and McNeely Foundation. They award substantial, noncompetitive grants for field trips and projects that promote cultural diversity, and we’re a shoo-in for it. I’ve talked to the foundation’s president, and even he agrees. I feel very good about it. It would cover transportation, meals, and lodging. I’m also working on a Plan B, though, in case Marconi and McNeely don’t come through. But we have to make it to the finals, first. I’ll let you know.”