Flames in the Midst (The Jade Hale Series) (13 page)

Stefanie led me up a creaky staircase worthy of an Alfred Hitchcock film.  We kept walking until we reached the end of a long hallway.  Here I realized I would not be alone as there were two twin beds in this room, but Stefanie simply opened the door for me to enter, told me she would see me in the morning and left.  I had the room to myself after all.

Sleep crept up on me so quickly I barely managed to drag myself to the bed nearest the window.  I slithered under the sheets, pushing the comforter to the foot of the bed, and stared for only a moment at the full moon outside the window.  It glowed the color of Chase’s aura.  As I tried to process the meeting from only moments ago, my eyelids fell like anchors and the gentle waters of my private lagoon beckoned me.

I slept so soundly that night that no one dared disturb my lagoon.  I had it all to myself and relished in the calm and tranquility I had been longing for since this whole ordeal began.  When I woke in the morning, I could no longer feel the invisible tether that had been linking me to Stefanie since I left Zach’s apartment.  Yet, I wasn’t sure I was ready to leave.  There was something decidedly comforting about being around people with whom I didn’t need to pretend.  They knew I was a witch, and as far as I knew, most of them shared in that.  They knew about my being a firestarter and now the new gift of being a time traveler.  In fact, they had known I was a time traveler longer than I had.  I was fairly certain no one knew about my gift for reading auras, but it was also nice to keep some things for myself.  Most importantly, they knew the truth about my mother.  They knew who she was, who I lost, and how I lost her.  I decided to stay a few days and enjoy this comfort level while I could.  After all, I was a time traveler, so there really wasn’t such a thing as lost time—not when you were planning a journey into the past.

I told them I needed more time to think things over.  In reality, I had made my mind up already.  I would stay and glean whatever information came my way.  In a couple of days, I would announce my decision to set out on my own.  I would thank them for their hospitality and commence with my own plans.

I did exactly that.  I spent two wonderful days recouping from the chasm of chaos my life had become.  Stefanie taught me my mother’s tethering spell.  I learned the tethering spell was a part of their plan for trapping Evan and Cameron.  The witches of this house believed in all of the principles of being a Guardian.  They were peaceful and simply wanted to protect others.  Some of them felt they could kill Evan and Cameron if it came down to a trade between the two
lives of murderous Shadow Rulers or the lives of hundreds of Puritans.  Some of them did not think they could kill, even to protect others.  Stefanie was one of those.

I didn’t tell them my plan involved killing both Evan and Cameron regardless of whether or not it was necessary to protect anyone, and I didn’t care if it happened before or after the deaths of all the innocent people in Salem.  I felt bad for them, and if I could kill Evan and Cameron before they caused harm to all of those people, I would, but if I couldn’t get to them at the right time, it wouldn’t matter.  I would still kill them.  They murdered my mother.

When a couple of days had passed, I explained to Amy that I would be leaving.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Amy asked me with a look of concern on her face.

“I am,” I told her, “I really need to work some things out on my own.” I worried for a moment about my decision.  What if I was closing a door I might need later?  She immediately released me from having to think about that problem.

“If you change your mind, just come back,” Amy told me.  “I can’t promise everyone will be as welcoming, but you always have a home with me.  I promised your aunt that long ago.”

Amy hugged me then, and I realized even though we had been the same age when I first remembered meeting her, she had always thought of me as a child who needed guidance and protection.  In her eyes, I remained the friendly, redheaded toddler she met many years ago when neither of us had yet experienced a deep sense of loss.

“If you need anything, you let me know,” Amy added.  She did not hold my quest for independence or my denial of her cause against me.  For a double orphan, I felt a strange sense of family as I said goodbye.  I would let Amy tell everyone else.  Cowardly, I know, but I did not want to face Chase’s smug grin when I confirmed my treachery, that I had in fact been wasting
their time over the past days.  I also did not want to face the disappointment Stefanie’s face would surely register with my news.

I had already washed the clothes I borrowed from Stefanie and left them in the room I had been staying in.  It was Stefanie’s room, but she had stayed out of it as much as possible while I supposedly mulled over my decision.  Either she was afraid of scaring me off or Madilyn had ordered her to give me some privacy to think.  I wore the same outfit I had arrived in—the same clothes I had worn at Zach’s party and at the bar.  I thought about incinerating them when I got home, but there wasn’t really a good place to start a fire the way I wanted to in my small apartment.  I might end up burning the whole building down and making myself homeless. 

I walked slowly out the front door and onto the porch with the flaking railings.  Everyone else busily prepared dinner in the kitchen at the other end of the house, so no one noticed me leaving.  At least, I thought no one noticed me leaving.  As I ran my finger over the wooden railing, watching the paint chip off and float away, a voice from the other end of the porch startled me.

“I presume you’re leaving,” Chase broke the silence.  I stared at him.  His skin had the glow of someone who spends every waking moment outdoors being active, not just laying around sunning himself.  His aura worked with his natural skin color, and he was honestly beautiful.  I glared at his crystal blue eyes, taking in his wispy blond hair and his muscular physique.  Aside from being absolutely gorgeous to look at, I had no interest in this guy.  He was months, maybe weeks away from becoming a Guardian.  He represented everything I did not want to be.  I wanted nothing to do with him, and it was obvious he was glad to see me leave.

“Yes, I am leaving.  I’m sure that will make you happy, but I can’t say I’m sure why,” I told him as brusquely as I could.  I glared at him and then turned to walk towards my car.

“Listen,” he continued, getting up and walking over to me, “It’s not that I have anything against whatever kind of person you are, but you are anything but a good witch.”

“How would you have any idea what kind of a witch I am?” I spun around to face him, seething with anger, but a little nervous about where this conversation was going.  Of course, there were plenty of reasons why I wasn’t that great of a witch, starting with the fact I didn’t want to be one.

“I know about you,” he told me.  “Your mother was one of the greatest Guardians ever.  I’m sorry she was murdered, but I am sure she would hate to see how you’ve turned out.  She believed in using her abilities and her gifts to help others, and here you have two of the rarest gifts a witch can have, and you want nothing to do with helping anyone but yourself.”

I wanted to stop him, but he wasn’t done and he wasn’t going to give me a chance to break in yet.  He took a quick breath and continued to berate me.

“On top of that, you have never studied or put much effort into developing your abilities, so frankly, maybe it is better that you’re selfish.  If you decided to stay here, you would be a liability to everyone here.  There are Shadow Rulers who want you on their side, and as far as I am concerned, they can have you.  If you were here with us, it would only be a matter of time before they found us.”

I thought he was crazy.  No one had found me thus far, so I didn’t see my presence putting anyone in danger.  Besides, I was leaving.  Why did he have to say anything to me at all?  If my presence was such a nuisance to him, he should have just shut up and let me leave.  I could have been gone already.

“Well,” I snapped at him, “you have nothing to worry about.  I am leaving, so no one is in any danger.”  There.  I had put him in his place.  I turned to leave, triumphant in the finality of
my words.  Apparently, he didn’t agree with my triumph.  He stopped me, grabbing my arm and turning me back towards him.  I wished he wasn’t so attractive because as angry as I was, I felt exhilarated to be so close to him.

“The danger isn’t over,” he warned me, and at first, I thought he was threatening me.  “You are irresponsible and naïve about your skills.  You are selfish and all of this can only lead to stupid decisions on your part.  Anyone who is around you is in danger.  You are a catastrophe waiting to happen.”  With that, he let go of my arm, turned, and walked back into the house.  He had stolen my triumph, and he knew I would not follow him back into the house to get it back.  He was wrong.  I wasn’t so naïve.  I had been through a lot, and really, I had been forced into being alone.  I had found comfort in it, and if I was a little selfish, didn’t I deserve to be?  I had to go through losing my mother and my aunt, only to find out I was a time traveler and had to lose them all over again.  Didn’t I deserve a little me time?

I searched within myself, regained my resolve, and forced my legs to make strong, solid strides to show how sure I was of my decision even though no one was watching.  I stopped five feet short of my car when I realized I had a passenger.  Stefanie sat in the passenger seat of my car, windows down, smiling at me with a sort of half smile that showed her sympathy.  I stared at her, wanting to order her out of the car, but also not wanting to take my frustrations with Chase out on her.  I practiced a deep breathing technique I had learned in Health last semester.  I concentrated on drawing each breath out—inhale to a slow five count, exhale to a slow five count.  After about ten breaths, I decided I could deal with whatever it was Stefanie wanted in a more amicable manner.

I walked up to my Toyota with less force behind my strides.  I smiled feebly at Stefanie, but I was sure my exasperation showed through the weak smile.  Even though the windows were
open, I didn’t say anything until I got into the car.  It occurred to me she had probably heard every word of the exchange Chase and I had on the front porch.

“How much of that did you hear?” I asked, my voice betraying the hurt I felt at his accusations.

“Don’t worry about Chase,” she answered. 

“So you heard it all?”  She shook her head.

“He doesn’t know what he is talking about.  You’re not selfish or dangerous.”

“You don’t know that.  You don’t really know me,” I told her, but I wasn’t angry with her.  I felt like there might be something to what Chase had said.

“You might be a little scared.  Who wouldn’t be?  You might not know everything about your abilities and gifts, but really, you weren’t raised the way Chase was raised or the way I was raised.  Your life has been different.  And who cares that you don’t know about your time traveling gift?  We may have known you were a time traveler, but you didn’t know.  He’s the one who is self-centered,” Stefanie finished with a flourish.  I knew there was a reason she was growing on me.  I felt better listening to her, even if she was wrong.

“Thanks, Stefanie.  It’s nice to hear that not everyone agrees with Chase, but I think some of what he said might be true.  I am leaving, after all.”

“You don’t have to leave.  You’re still here now.”

I sighed and thought about that for a moment.  I couldn’t really stay.  Before I could do anything at all, I had to find my family book.  I hoped it would be what Aunt Lynn left for me in the backyard of our last house.  I couldn’t stay.  I had to leave.

“No, I’m leaving.  Like you said, I wasn’t raised the way you were.  I am not ready to sign up for all of this.  I don’t ever want to sign up for this.”  I expected Stefanie’s mood to change.  I expected her to get angry with me.  I braced myself for another barrage of reprimands and insults.  I should have known better.  Stefanie may have gotten over-excited the first day we met, but she had not let her emotions get the better of her since then.  For whatever reason, Stefanie looked at me and saw a hero.  I didn’t see myself that way, but it was certainly a boost to my ego.

“I thought you would say that.” Stefanie got comfortable in her seat and snapped the seat belt into place.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Well, I figure you are driving back to your place.  I need a ride to campus, and I figure you probably need a navigator to get you out of here anyway, so we both win.”

“You’re not mad?  I thought you would be upset that I still want to leave.”

“Nah.  I figured you weren’t going to stay after our talk on the ride here.  I think you
are
coming back, but I think it will take you some time.  Like you said, you’re not ready right now.”  She was so matter-of-fact and accepting that she reminded me of Amy.  She had obviously been around Amy for most of her life.  I imagined for a moment what I would have been like if my mother had not been murdered.  My mother would be the one leading this group, and I would be standing by her side, a future Guardian like Stefanie and Chase.

“Okay,” I told Stefanie, “Where are we going?”

“Can you drop me off at Beatty Towers?” she asked, referring to the older dorms on campus at the university. 

“You don’t live here?” I was surprised.

“Well, this house would be too far away from you, right?  I thought about living in your apartment complex, but Chase insisted that would be too dangerous.”  She laughed at this to show how ridiculous she thought Chase’s concern was.