Flash Point (Kilgore Fire Book 2) (5 page)

And my heart stopped.

My worst nightmare flicked through my head.

It had
always
been my worst nightmare.

Literally.

I never made it through a bad night without having that nightmare.

The one where I saw him lying dead on a gurney much like this one. Eyes closed. Face pale.

Not breathing.

“You okay?” Tai asked, startling me out of my worst dream.

I looked over at him.

His face was covered in soot like all the others were.

It covered his neck, face and arms.

And he smelled like he’d been camped in a car smoking weed all night.

I smiled at him. A small one, not too big.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” I lied.

I wasn’t. Not even a little bit.

I’d just now realized what kind of a dumbass I was.

And that wasn’t a nice pill to swallow.

I’d committed the biggest mistake of my life, and I was just now realizing that it wouldn’t have mattered, my reasoning. It would’ve happened, him getting hurt, whether he was home or halfway across the world.

Shit.

I started forward, heart in my throat, and didn’t know what to do or say.

Should I just take him to his house? Where did he live?

Shit.

I couldn’t take him home. I should take him home, but I couldn’t.

I couldn’t bear to see the life I should have—
would have
—had.

Booth’s lids popped open as if he’d sensed me there, and he stared at me with glazed-over eyes.

He was so high.

I could tell.

A giggle slipped free of my mouth as I looked at him.

His lip kicked up in a semblance of a smile, something that broke my heart as well as healed it all at once.

I hadn’t seen him smile at me since the day before he deployed when I was eighteen.

That was a
very
long time.

I walked up to the side of his bed, not knowing what to say.

‘Hi’ didn’t seem adequate.

But I said it nonetheless.

“Hi,” I said.

He grimaced.

“Hey,” he replied gruffly.

Even more roughly than was his normal voice.

“You need a ride somewhere?” I tried.

His face turned to me, and he stared at me for long moments.

“Take me to your house,” he ordered.

I
wasn’t
taking him to my house.

I couldn’t.

Right now I was only operating on fumes, and my house was my safe haven, the place where I could go that nobody could get to me. Seeing him in my house, seeing what I could have had would gut me, and my safe haven wouldn’t be so safe anymore.

He couldn’t come to my house.

“I can’t take you to my house,” I said. “I can take you to your parents’ house. Or to your house…with your wife.”

He blinked.

“I don’t want to go home, and my parents are out of town. You’re all there is,” he countered.

“Then we’ll go to your parents’ house,” I informed him. “If they aren’t there, then it won’t matter.”

The doctor came in and halted Booth’s objection.

“You must be Masen,” the doctor said. “Mr. Jones has asked for us to explain his discharge instructions to you so you can take care of him this evening.”

I nodded, even though I didn’t want to.

“He’s also told us you’re familiar with any medical issues that may arise due to his concussion,” the doctor continued.

I nodded once again.

“Yes,” I sighed, resigned.

The next ten minutes were filled with the doctor giving me a briefing on concussions, what I should look for, and when I should bring him back in if he exhibited those certain symptoms.

The entire time Booth’s eyes stayed on me while I tried valiantly to only look at the doctor.

I felt his stare like a caress against my skin, and it was beautiful.

Warming.

Loving, even.

My stomach started to knot.

Married. Married. Married
. I chanted to myself.

“Do you have any more questions?” The doctor, whose name I couldn’t pronounce because it was so damn long, hesitated.

I shook my head. “No. Thank you.”

He handed me the prescriptions that were for Booth to take to prevent an infection, and I tucked it into my back pocket.

Mia showed on my left, and Tai on my right.

“Can you give us a ride home, too?” She asked hopefully.

I looked at my best friend.

“How’d you get here?” I asked in confusion.

“I drove, but it just started pouring and my windshield wipers stopped working on the way over here,” she explained.

I shrugged. “Sure.”

Booth finally swung his legs over the side of the bed, not even wincing as he did.

He’d always been good at that, hiding his pain.

And he had to be in pain.

Even a high like he was on couldn’t hide the pain that bruised ribs would cause.

I remembered the first summer we were together; we’d been exploring the woods outside his place. We’d been walking along a trail of some sort, which I’d later learned was called a deer trail, when we’d startled a wild boar. A mother boar.

She’d charged, and those wickedly sharp tusks had pierced Booth’s calf as he’d pushed me out of the way.

I’d fallen to my hands and knees and turned to see Booth gored two more times before he was able to dispatch it with his hand gun.

The baby piglets had been running around us in a panic, and I’d been dazed and confused as he’d calmly gotten up, hauled me to my feet, and proceeded to walk back the half mile to his house.

There he’d promptly passed out from the pain, and I’d called an ambulance.

He’d had to have over two hundred stitches in his calf, and lower thigh.

But did he ever complain of pain?
Hell no.

“You need help?” I asked as he stood.

He shook his head.

“Does he ever talk?” Tai muttered under his breath.

I blinked.

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

“He never talks. I don’t think I’ve gotten more than four words out of him since he started working with us,” Tai expounded.

“Hmm,” I said. “Maybe he just doesn’t like y’all.”

I heard Booth’s quiet chuckle at my back, and I checked the urge to smile at him over my shoulder.

None of that now.

The ride home was awkward.

Booth took the front seat, making Tai and Mia take the back.

And I hated to say it, but I wished anyone would’ve taken the front over him.

But I couldn’t very well say that, so I sucked it up and sat next to him, my every cell wanting to touch him.

Feel his rough palm against mine.

I drove to the house that Mia and Tai shared together, and put it into park.

“Call me in the morning, and I’ll take you to your car,” I told them as Tai got out.

Mia leaned between the two back seats and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

“You’re the best friend in the whole wide world, and I love you like crazy,” she said softly.

She didn’t say a word to Booth as she got out and slammed the door shut.

I watched them until both entered into the house, my heart happy for my best friend.

She deserved the world after what she’d been through.

“I thought Mia had a kid,” Booth rumbled softly. “Mom said she did.”

I put the Jeep in reverse and backed out, getting myself turned around before I replied.

“Mia’s son, Colt, died a few months ago from a complication during a routine procedure to prepare for his stem cell transplant. He had leukemia,” I explained softly, the pain still just as fresh now as it had been a few months ago.

I ached for my best friend, and I would never fully understand all that she’d gone through.

Was
still
going through.

The pain of losing a child didn’t just go away no matter how much time had passed. The pain was always there, and it would always be there until the
end of time
.

And it broke my heart every single day to see my best friend, the person who’d nursed me through my own heartbreaking pain, hurting.

She didn’t deserve that. Hell, nobody deserved that.

“That’s not good,” Booth rumbled grimly.

No, it wasn’t.

The ride to Booth’s parents’ place was quiet.

Booth never needed to fill the air around us with endless chatter, and I was content in not saying anything at all. I didn’t want to say anything I’d regret.

The ride to his parents’ house started to bring back some good memories, and I was feeling almost nostalgic when I pulled into their driveway.

“Key’s under the…” Booth started as we both got out.

“I know where the key is,” I muttered darkly.

I got him inside within moments, and he sat down on the huge brown couch with a groan of pain.

I walked into the kitchen, knowing the way by heart, and went straight to the cabinet with cups.

Except they weren’t there.

Now the plates were there.

Frowning, I started to look through the kitchen, finding the cups where the spices used to be.

Shit.

I couldn’t do this.

Not today.

Getting a cup of water with crushed ice, since I knew that was what he liked, I filled it to the brim with water from the tap and hurried into the living room where Booth was still sitting slumped against the couch.

“Here ‘ya go,” I said, setting the drink down next to his left hand.

He opened those captivating eyes and pinned me to the spot.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

Looking down, I noticed that I still had my keys in my hand.

Clutching them a little more tightly, I shook my head.

“I can’t stay,” I said.

“Why not?” He questioned, genuinely confused. “Will you make me pancakes?”

I would not smile. I would not smile.

“No. Your mom probably doesn’t have what I need to make them, anyway,” I said softly. “Here’s your meds,” I said, pulling out the single pill that the doctor gave us to hold him over for tonight. “I’ll drop these off tonight and have the pharmacy bring them over to you in the morning. And I’ll pick you up when I pick Mia up so y’all aren’t left without cars.”

He frowned.

“Why’d you do it? Why’d you leave me?” He asked softly.

I didn’t pretend to misunderstand his question.

My heart dropped into my belly.

“Your job scared me,” I whispered to him. “I think that, subconsciously, I was scared, and not just for my sister. I knew she was going to die from the time I was old enough to understand that she was sick. My parents didn’t hide anything from me.”

He just looked at me, not comprehending.

That’d been my reason for not staying with him.

I knew he was confused.

I licked my lips.

My voice cracked as I explained. “I started having nightmares the day you left for deployment,” I informed him. “The same one, night after night, assaulted me in my dreams. You dead and not able to come home to me.” I coughed and cleared my throat. “I swore to myself that I’d never have to deal with that. And I think I purposely picked a fight with you so you wouldn’t be able to up and die on me, leaving me alone,” I hesitated before adding, “It backfired.”

I swallowed, chancing a look at his face.

It was blank.

No expression whatsoever.

“Think it’s time for you to go,” he said softly.

I turned on my heels.

“I’ll call you once an hour. If you don’t pick up, I’m coming back over here,” I whispered.

I saw him nod over my shoulder, and I hurried to my car and didn’t look back.

And when I got home, yet again, I cried.

When life’s too hot to stand, kneel. No really, because heat rises, and you might die if you breathe that air.

-Masen to Mia

Masen

My luck had run out.

I knew it would.

Booth, although quiet, wasn’t afraid to speak his mind.

I’d called him no less than once an hour, setting my own alarm clock to ensure that I wouldn’t forget.

And when I’d called at six, he hadn’t answered.

He’d answered all the previous times, sounding more and more himself, within four rings.

This time, nothing.

So, I’d gotten in my Jeep, wearing the tight compression shorts and a baggy t-shirt that I’d worn to bed, and started driving across town to Booth’s parents’ place.

The drive was short, because, let’s be honest, Kilgore was small.

It took eight minutes to drive from one border to the other, and that was if you were driving the speed limit.

Go faster like I was doing, and it’d take less than five.

I pulled into the driveway and shut my Jeep off, bailing out of the car and running to the front door.

The door was unlocked, thankfully. I hadn’t replaced the key last night in my haste to leave.

The first thing I saw was Booth’s body on the floor.

“Booth!” I cried, running towards him.

I stopped, though, when those very pissed off eyes landed on me.

“What?” He snapped.

“You didn’t answer,” I said hastily, backing away now.

His anger was palpable in the air around us, and I knew instantly that this was one of those times that I needed to think carefully about what I would say.

Booth was a hothead.

He didn’t speak much, and when he did, you really should listen.

But get him mad, and he was a force to be reckoned with.

“I’ll leave,” I said, turning on my heel to hurry to the front door.

I had my hand on the door handle when my body was suddenly covered with the hard, sinewy body of the man that I was in love with. So fucking in love with.

“Why are you leaving?” He asked silkily.

I shivered at the cold menace that practically dripped off his words.

“Because you’re okay,” I shivered.

“Hmmm,” he said, pressing his lips against the back of my neck and inhaling.

My hand groped for the door handle that I’d somehow lost purchase on, but I found his hand instead, covering the handle and locking it at the same time.

“I need to leave,” I urged.

“No you don’t,” he countered. “I have some things I’d like to say to you.”