Flawbulous (12 page)

“Like I said, it's an option, but so is adoption and so is keeping the baby.”

“Just tell me what you think I should do!” implored Shari.

“I can't make that decision for you. It wouldn't be fair, because I don't have to live with the consequences. You're going to be the one taking care of this child and up at two in the morning, feeding it, clothing it, putting your life and your aspirations on hold, not me. No one can make this choice for you, Shari, not even Namon. And you can't be worried about what other people have to say or what they're going to think, because it's your life, your decision, and your body.”

“What about Namon? How would he feel if I aborted his baby?”

Lawson thought for a moment, framing her response carefully. “Namon is a kind, honorable young man, and he'd never come out and tell you to have an abortion. He loves you. His conscience wouldn't allow him to ask you to do that, but, sweetie, do you really think my son is ready for a child at this point in his life? Truth be told, I think he'd be relieved, even if he wouldn't admit it.”

Shari wrinkled her brow. “Really?”

“Yes. Namon is so scared and confused. He wants to do right by you and the baby, but he's been given this wonderful opportunity to go to college at his dream school. He loves being on campus and learning so much. He knows how proud of him we all are. He was very proud of himself until all this happened. Now he feels like he's let everyone down, including himself.”

“So I'd be doing him a favor if I had an abortion?” Shari wondered aloud.

“I don't know that I'd call it a favor, but I think you'd be taking a great deal of stress off of him and you'd be giving both of you a chance at a real future. This way, if things don't work out between the two of you, you can go your separate ways without any regrets. If you two wind up together, you'd know it's because you want to be together, not because you had a child and felt obligated to each other.”

“I think I'd be scared to do it.”

“It's a relatively quick and safe procedure. It takes about ten minutes, and they'll put you to sleep if you want them to.”

“Oh, that's good, I guess.”

“Shari, I'm not trying to trivialize it, because this is a huge decision, but it's not some big, scary procedure. However, it is more expensive the longer you wait, so I wouldn't take too long in deciding.”

Shari shrugged her shoulders. “It doesn't matter. I don't have the money to pay for something like that.”

Lawson placed a hand on Shari's shoulder. “Sweetie, if you don't have enough money to take care of this yourself, how are you going to have enough money to take care of a baby?”

Shari's lip began to quiver, and tears started streaming down her cheeks. “I don't think I can handle all this. I'm not ready to be a mama.”

Lawson took Shari in her arms. “Don't cry. It'll be okay.”

“No, it won't!” she sobbed. “I don't have any money. How am I going to take care of this child?”

“I can't answer that for you.”

Shari pulled away from Lawson and composed herself. “I've seen enough episodes of
Teen Mom
to know how this'll turn out. Namon and me are not ready for this kind of responsibility. I don't know what we were thinking.”

“You weren't thinking. That's the problem.”

Shari took a deep breath. “I think I should do it . . . you know, have the abortion.”

They were the words Lawson had been waiting to hear. “Are you sure?”

Shari nodded.

“If this is something you really want to do, I'll pay for it.”

“But I can't pay you back.”

“You can pay me back by staying in school and learning from this situation. That's all the payment I need,” Lawson assured her.

“I don't know where to go or how I'm going to get there or anything.”

“Don't you worry about anything. I'll take care of everything. I'll set your appointment, I'll stay with you during the procedure, and I'll pay for it. All I need for you to do is look me in the eyes and tell me you're one hundred percent positive that this is what you want to do.” Lawson held her breath, waiting for Shari to respond.

Shari paused. “I want to do it. I want to have the abortion.”

Lawson released a sigh of relief. “I think you made the right decision. I'm going to be there for you every step of the way, I promise.”

“What am I going to tell my mom?”

“Sweetie, you're eighteen. Legally, you are an adult and don't have to tell your parents anything. In fact, I wouldn't say anything to anyone if I were you. You've made your decision, and you're comfortable with it. You don't need anyone trying to talk you out of it.”

“What about Namon?”

“I don't think you should say anything to him either, not until after it's over.”

“Why not? Namon would freak out if he knew I had an abortion and didn't tell him. I can't do that to him.”

“I won't lie to you. I think initially Namon may be upset, but he'll get over it in time. Eventually, he'll see that you did this for him as much as you did it for yourself.”

Shari's anxiety began to surface again. Her palms grew sweaty. “I don't know. . . .”

Lawson could sense that Shari was faltering, and she wasn't about to let that happen. “Shari, I know my son much better than you do. Once he's had time to think about it and process everything, he'll understand why you handled it this way. If you want, I'll talk to him after the surgery and help explain it in a way that he can clearly perceive. We can tell him together.”

Shari relaxed again. “For the first time in weeks, I finally feel like things are going to be okay.”

“They are. You should be proud of yourself. You've made a very grown-up choice today. I applaud you for weighing the pros and cons and coming to a decision that is best for everyone involved.”

“Thank you for helping me.”

“No, you came to this decision all on your own,” insisted Lawson. “I let you know what your options were, but you came to this decision by yourself, right? You don't feel like I coerced you, do you?”

“No,” Shari answered slowly. “It was my decision, I suppose.”

“It was
all
your decision,” stressed Lawson. “But that's good! It shows you're moving into adulthood. You're thinking like an adult and making good decisions for yourself. That's what being in college is all about.” Lawson noticed the pained look on Shari's face. “I know it's scary, but you'll be fine. You have plenty of time to have babies, but next time it'll be on your own terms and when you're ready for it. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that you're not ready to be a mother. God will forgive you. He's already forgiven you. Namon will forgive you, and so will your parents. Then we all can put this behind us.”

Shari bit her lip. “I'm scared.”

“Don't be. You're not the first woman this has happened to, and you won't be the last. You're going to come out of this wiser and stronger, you'll see.”

“Thank you for being so kind to me, Mrs. Banks. I love my mom, but with everything going on with her, she can't really help me understand things the way you can. I hope one day I can be a great mother like you are.” She reached out for Lawson.

As Lawson hugged Shari, guilt began gnawing at her. There was no denying that she'd completely manipulated Shari, but if Lawson had to end one child's life in order to save the life of her own child, so be it.

“We've been together too long to let one low-life hussy
destroy what we have.”

 

–
Angel King

 

The ladies all flocked to Lawson's house after being summoned for a prayer vigil for Reginell, whose doctor had recommended that she have a hysterectomy because the endometriosis had spread to other parts of her body.

“I must say, you're handling this remarkably well, Reggie,” Angel praised her following their prayers. “I'm proud of you.”

“What's there to be proud of?” grumbled Reginell. “The endometriosis has spread, and the pain meds aren't working. The only option is for me to have a hysterectomy.”

“Yeah, but that doesn't make you any less courageous for going through with it,” said Desdemona. “My cousin had one a few years ago, and it was a very tough decision for her to make. She thought it made her less of woman or something.”

“Doesn't it?” asked Reginell. “I won't be able to give my husband any babies.”

“The ability to bear children makes you a female, not a woman,” opined Lawson. “You have to look no further than Shari to see that.”

Reginell sulked. “It's not even just that. I've been reading up on it. Hysterectomies can cause depression, emotional distress, and mood swings.”

“Reggie, trust me—a woman doesn't have to have her uterus taken out for that to happen. My mood switches up real quick if there's no chocolate around or if they run out of my favorite dipping sauce at Chick-fil-A!” said Kina.

“I can handle that part, but there are a lot of sexual side effects too. I read that it's not as good after a hysterectomy.”

“That's not necessarily true,” argued Angel. “Each woman's body responds to the procedure differently.”

Kina was curious. “What are the side effects?”

Reginell made a face. “Vaginal dryness, for one. Who wants that?”

Desdemona nodded. “I didn't want to bring that part up, but the hysterectomy totally changed my cousin's sexual routine. She said it was never the same after that. Her husband actually said that making love to her was like walking through a cave! There was no feeling, no muscle tightening. It was like she was hollowed out. He said it was awful. Eventually, they both just gave up, and he married someone else.”

Reginell's eyes widened. “A cave? Mark can't deal with something like that! My man likes it tight and right.”

Lawson was indignant. “Why would you say that to her, Des? She's scared enough as it is!””

“I think she should be prepared,” replied Desdemona. “My cousin wasn't. When dealing with something like that, experience is
not
the best teacher.”

“I agree. Reggie needs to know if her lush nether region is about to turn into a tumbleweed! A bad sex life will cause a person to stray,” admitted Sullivan. “I know firsthand.”

Lawson stomped her foot. “Will y'all stop trying to scare her?”

Desdemona apologized. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sure your husband would never do that, Reggie.”

Reginell nodded, still not wholly convinced.

Desdemona continued. “He loves you. Anyway, it's not as if there's anyone around here who could take his attention away from you, is there?”

No one said anything, all trying their best not to look at Lawson.

“No, Desdemona, there isn't!” confirmed Lawson, feeling the heat from Desdemona's question and her past with Mark. “And anyone who dared to mess up my sister's happiness would have to answer to me. Mark and Reggie will be fine, so don't start putting stuff in her head.”

Desdemona looked over at Reginell. “As long as you know who you can and can't trust around your husband, there shouldn't be an issue. I'm sure your female intuition will kick in to discern any perceived threats. You'll know in your gut if another woman is after your husband.”

“So what's going on with you, Angel?” asked Kina, eager to take the focus off of Reginell and Lawson. “You got kind of emotional while Lawson was praying. Is everything all right?”

Angel shook her head. “Things haven't been all right for a few weeks.” Finally admitting it brought her to the brink of tears.

Sullivan rushed to Angel's side. “Girl, what's wrong with you?”

“Is this about Duke?” asked Lawson. “We didn't want to pry, but you never said anything about his arrest. Is that what's bothering you?”

Angel nodded. “I haven't wanted to talk about it. Things are a mess! I can barely hold it together.”

“What happened?” asked Kina.

“Duke's assistant accused him of sexually assaulting her.”

Reginell gasped. “Rape? Are you for real?”

“Technically, it's sexual assault,” Angel informed her. “Attempted rape, to be exact.”

Desdemona was still confused. “Is there a difference?”

“Yes, rape is forced intercourse,” Angel expounded. “Assault doesn't have to include penetration.”

“Oh, so I guess that makes it okay, then,” grumbled Sullivan.

“It's definitely not okay for her to trump up false charges!” Angel exclaimed. “Her lies could cost Duke his freedom, his kids, his job—”

“His woman . . .” interjected Sullivan.

“I'm not going anywhere,” proclaimed Angel. “Duke is innocent. All he did was maybe flirt with the girl a little bit. He acknowledged that much. However, flirting is not illegal.”

“Then that would mean he's not guilty, but he's still far from innocent!” stated Sullivan.

“Humph, humph, humph!” Reginell shook her head. “You think you know a guy. . . .”

“We
do
know him, Reggie, and we all know Duke would never do anything like this.” Angel looked to her friends for confirmation. “We all know that, right?”

Lawson reassured her. “Of course we do. Duke may be a lot of things, but he's not a rapist. Everybody knows that.”

Sullivan cut her eyes to Lawson. “Do we?”

Kina winced. “Sully, don't. . . .”

“I'm just saying . . . why would the girl lie about something like that?”

“Because she's a vindictive, angry, soulless wench for one!” answered Angel. “Who knows? Maybe she wants money or is mad because Duke rejected her and so she wants payback. There could be any number of reasons.”

“Maybe . . . ,” said Sullivan. “But it takes a lot of guts to come forward with something like that, especially knowing that you'll be criticized, judged, and scrutinized by lawyers and police officers and that you'll have to face a judge and juror, not to mention your assailant.”

“I can't believe you're taking this woman's side, Sullivan,” said Lawson. “Duke is our friend, and he's a good Christian man and father.”

“I'm not on anybody's side. I just think she deserves the benefit of the doubt.”

“And Duke doesn't?” stormed Angel.

“Angel, I've been assaulted before. It's horrific,” Sullivan revealed. “I just don't see a woman in her position lying about something so serious.”

Angel was vexed. “So you think Duke is lying?”

Sullivan shook her head. “I don't know, but he did admit to flirting with the girl. Maybe things got out of hand.”

“It's not improbable,” stated Reginell. “Me and just about every chick at the club where I used to dance has had some guy take things too far. I know several dancers who've been raped. At the same time, I know a lot of chicks who've lied about guys too.”

“Reggie, strippers can't claim sexual harassment. That's part of the job description!” said Lawson.

Sullivan frowned. “No woman signs on to be sexually assaulted. I don't care what the job is.”

“Sully, Duke may be a flirt, but he'd never betray me,” Angel declared.

“Are you serious? He left you for another woman, then cheated on her with you while she was dying, I might add!”

“He and I were never intimate while he was still married to Theresa!” insisted Angel.

“I just don't want you to have blinders on where Duke is concerned. You know I've liked Duke ever since we were in college, and I don't want to believe he'd hurt anyone like that, but you've got to be realistic. What if he did it, Angel? What will you do?” quizzed Sullivan.

“I can't. . . .” Angel shook her head. “I can't even consider that possibility.”

“How can you not?” asked Desdemona.

“I can't believe that I've been planning a future with the kind of man who is capable of doing something like that. He has daughters, for God's sake! I know Duke. If anyone ever raped or assaulted them, he'd kill him, so I can't imagine that he'd do that to someone else's daughter. He couldn't have assaulted that woman. I know he couldn't!”

Sullivan hugged her. “I know you love him, and you want to believe in this man you've spent almost half your life being in love with. Unfortunately, sometimes people do things that we'd never expect them to do, things we had no inkling that they were even capable of. I've seen it in my own marriage. You can't put nothing past anybody.”

“I feel a headache coming on. I think I need some fresh air. Excuse me.” Angel slipped out the back door and took solace alone on Lawson's deck.

“Don't you think you were a little hard on Duke?” Lawson asked Sullivan.

“Absolutely not! I pray that Duke didn't hurt that girl, but if he did, I hope they throw the book at him. No woman deserves to have her innocence or dignity stripped away because some horndog can't accept that no means no!”

Desdemona went out on the deck unnoticed a few minutes after Angel took refuge there. She sighed, making her presence known. “It's sad.”

“What is?”

“How sometimes the people closest to you don't want to see you happier than they are.”

“Don't be confused. These are not happy tears,” said Angel, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

Desdemona dotted Angel's eyes with a napkin. “I know. I'm sure it hurts to hear your friends say things like that about the man you love. I'm sure they aren't trying to be hurtful, but you and Duke probably have the kind of relationship they all wish they had. Even if they don't realize it, there may be some jealousy there, and subconsciously, they say cruel things about him because they don't want to see the two of you happy together.”

“I don't think they're jealous, Des.”

“I'd certainly hate to think so. I just find it strange that they aren't more supportive. Personally, I think it's commendable that you're standing by your man. That's what a woman is supposed to do,” asserted Desdemona.

“Thank you.”

“You're so lucky to have someone in your life whom you can trust. I haven't had the best luck with men, so I'm a little gun-shy. It would probably be a lot harder for me to have that kind of faith in my husband or boyfriend.”

“Duke and I have been through a lot together. I know him better than anyone else does. I know he wouldn't do anything like that.”

Desdemona nodded slowly. “I wonder why your friends aren't more understanding. They should have your back.”

“They do. It's just . . . it's complicated. They've been here for the good and the bad. They know what kind of merry-go-round our relationship has been.”

“I guess they're concerned because they know he's been unfaithful to you before. If he cheated when you were married to him, maybe they feel there's no telling what he'd do now that you're not. In my opinion, it takes a strong woman to be able to ignore the fact that he's stepped out on you and deserted you in the past. Not many women could get over that, but you have. You've accepted his children like your own, including the one who was conceived during your marriage. I admire that kind of strength.”

“Believe me, I'm not strong at all. It's God's strength that keeps me sustained. You can do anything with God's help, even forgive.”

“Indeed. I guess your friends don't see it that way. They look at Duke, and all they see is the lying and sneaking around, the selfishness, and all the hurt you endured because of him.”

“Even though we're not married yet, we're very much one in our hearts. Duke, me, and the girls are a family. I know he's not perfect, and he's made his share of mistakes. We both have, but we have learned from our mistakes and have grown from them.”

“That's awesome, Angel, really. I think it's sad that your closest friends have such a low opinion of the man you've chosen to spend your life with. I think it's admirable that you can look past all his mistakes and betrayals and see a man worth fighting for.”

“I'm not perfect, either. He's overlooked my screw ups too.”

“I'm sure he has. Listen, don't let this situation get you down. This is just a small roadblock on your way to happiness.”

Angel smiled a little. “You're right. We've been together too long to let one low-life hussy destroy what we have.”

Desdemona agreed. “You've talked to this other woman, right? You know she's a liar.”

“Well, no. Obviously, I think she's a liar, but I haven't talked to her.”

“So you're just blindly taking your boyfriend's word for what happened? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. I mean, sure he's lied about other things, but he wouldn't lie about something this important, would he? He certainly wouldn't be unfaithful to you, knowing how much you trust him.”