Flawbulous (16 page)

“One day, when he has children of his own that he's actually
ready for, he will understand what I did and why
and will thank me for it.”

 

–
Lawson Kerry Banks

 

“Take a deep breath,” Lawson told Shari, coaching her, in the car outside the abortion clinic. “You can do this.”

Shari nodded and did as she was told.

“We're going to go in here. When you come out, all your problems will be behind you and you can go back to your regularly scheduled life, complete with your education, your freedom, parties, and just being a normal college student. You ready?”

“Yeah.” Shari opened the passenger door and stepped out.

Before they could reach the clinic's entrance, they were met by Namon, who was livid.

“I don't believe this!” he bellowed. “Seriously, Ma? You were going to have her go through with this without even telling me?”

Lawson's heart sank. “Namon, what are you doing here?”

“Shutting down whatever you had planned.” He grabbed Shari by the hand. “Come on, Shari. Let's get out of here!”

Shari clasped her arms around Namon's neck. “I was so scared. I didn't think you were gonna come.”

Lawson narrowed her eyes and pitched her stony gaze at Shari. “You called him?”

“She texted me and told me what was going on,” replied Namon. “She was terrified.”

“Namon, don't be mad at me,” cried Shari. “I was just trying to make things easier on you.”

“Regardless of what you may think, Shari made this decision on her own. She's doing what she thinks is best for everyone involved,” insisted Lawson.

Namon pulled away from Shari and confronted his mother head-on. “And just who convinced her that this was best? I've seen you do some questionable things, but this . . . baby killing? Not just any baby, your own grandchild! Who does that?”

“Namon, this baby is a mistake, and everybody knows it,” said Lawson. “We're just trying to make the best of an already difficult situation.”

“
We?
” Namon shot back. “There is no
we!
There's just you and you being lowdown enough to try to trick Shari. How could you do that?”

“Babe, can we just get out of here?” pleaded Shari. “I hate this place.”

“Yeah.” He turned to leave, with Shari in tow.

“Namon, wait!” commanded Lawson. “We've got to talk about this.”

Namon faced his mother. “I ain't got nothing to say to you.” Then he turned on his heels, and he and Shari headed to his car, climbed in, and drove away.

Lawson walked briskly back to her car, got behind the wheel, and hurried home. When she pulled into the driveway, Namon and Shari were getting out of Namon's car. Lawson followed Namon into their house, trying to plead her case. Namon ignored her, stormed into his room, and began packing his belongings.

“How long do you think you can go without talking to me?” said Lawson as she entered Namon's bedroom.

Namon didn't say anything.

“Namon, I'm your mother. You can't keep giving me the silent treatment. You're acting like a child.”

“Might as well. You treat me like one. You obviously don't think I'm capable of making my own decisions.”

“Honey, it wasn't like that at all. I was just trying to protect you.”

“I don't need your protection, not like that.”

“You're angry now, but when you have a child of your own, you'll understand that.”

“And you did your best to make sure that wouldn't happen, didn't you?”

Having heard the commotion, Garrett barged into the room. “Hey, what's going on in here?”

Namon looked up at his stepfather, incensed. “Were you in on this too?” he demanded to know.

“In on what? Lawson, what is he talking about?”

Lawson exhaled. “Shari asked me to take her to get an abortion. Then, at the last minute, she got cold feet and told Namon all about it. Now he's taking it out on me.”

Garrett sighed heavily. “Please tell me you didn't coerce that poor girl into that,” he implored.

“Of course she did,” answered Namon.

“Regardless of what you think, I didn't bully Shari into having an abortion. It was her decision.”

“No, you just coaxed her into doing it,” retorted Namon. “She told me what happened.”

“It didn't take much convincing. Unlike you, Shari knows that the two of you aren't ready for a baby.”

“Thankfully, we have several more months to get ready.”

“You're gonna need a lot longer that, my son!” exclaimed Lawson.

Garrett stepped in. “Nay, I know that you're heated right now. What your mother did was deplorable at best, but she's still your mother. As much as I don't agree with what she did, I know in her heart, she did it to protect you.”

Namon stopped packing for a moment. “Ma, can I ask you something?”

“You can ask me anything. You know that.”

“Wasn't there a time when you didn't want me?”

“Absolutely not!” asserted Lawson. “Namon, I loved you before I even knew you.”

“Come on, Ma. You were sixteen. What sixteen-year-old is thrilled about being pregnant? You told me yourself that Grandma wanted you to put me up for adoption.”

“Yes, but the moment I felt you kicking inside of me, I knew that there was no way I could give you up. I already loved you.”

“Then why would you try to destroy my baby and your grandchild? Don't you think I love my baby too?”

“Namon, you're not old enough to know what you're getting yourself into. And is Shari really the kind of girl you want to be tied down to for the rest of your life?”

“You were younger than me, and you barely knew my father!”

“That's beside the point. Look at Shari's background, baby. Her dad's in and out of jail, and her mother is a drug addict. Her brothers and sisters have been lost to the streets. Is this the kind of family you want to bring a child into? Those people are going to be leaching off of you for the rest of your life!”

“I don't care about that. I love Shari.”

“You love her right now. There was also a time when you loved Power Rangers and cartoons, but you grew out of it. The same thing will happen with this relationship, which is supposed to happen. It's a part of the growing process. You don't want to hinder your growth by tying yourself down to this girl for life.”

Namon was riled up again. “Stop telling me what I want and quit trying to control my life!”

“Hey, chill out,” ordered Garrett. “I know you're upset, but that's still your mama.”

“I know you think I'm trying to control you, but that's not what I'm doing. Namon, you're not thinking clearly. As your mother, it's up to me to do it for you when you can't do it for yourself.”

“I see we're not going to agree on this.” Namon hesitated. “So I've decided to move in with my dad.”

Lawson was bowled over. “What? When did you decide that?”

“I talked to my pops on the way over, and he's cool with it.”

“Oh, is he now?” She was irked. “Nobody discussed it with me!”

“Nobody had to. I'm eighteen. I'm barely here as it is. This is just making it official.”

Lawson vigorously shook her head. “You're not moving out of this house, Namon!”

Namon scooped up his duffel bag. “Ma, it's done. I can't stay here anymore.”

“Why? Because I won't cosign on your bad decisions?”

“No . . . because I can't stand to look at the woman who tried to take my child away from me.”

Lawson's eyes fell downcast.

Namon gently placed his hand on her shoulder. “I'm not saying this to hurt you. I still love you. I just can't be around you right now.”

“Namon, who's the one who's been there for you, huh?

Who clothed you? Who fed you?” interrogated Lawson. “Who tucked you in at night and drove back and forth to all your games and practices? Who has been your rock? And you say you can't stand to look at me?”

“Bye, Ma.” Namon kissed her on the cheek and left the room.

“Namon, get back here!” she called after him. “We're not done!”

“Let him go, babe,” urged Garrett in a low tone.

“He needs me,” Lawson protested. “He's acting out, and that ole duplicitous hussy has her hooks in him and is trying to turn him against me.”

“I don't think that's it. He's scared, Lawson. He's trying to do the right thing, but he's not altogether sure what that is. Factor in hormones, academic pressure, and an overbearing mother—”

“
Overbearing mother?”

“Yeah, babe. You're suffocating the boy! He can't breathe or think with you on his neck like this. It's no wonder he's pulling away from you.”

“I'm just the only one with the guts to be honest with him. The rest of y'all are worried about trying to be his friend, while I'm focused on being his parent, which is what God called me to be. I'll be Mommy over homie any day.”

“You're going to end up pushing him away and losing him forever if you don't fall back a little.”

“That's a chance I'm willing to take in order to save him. One day, when he has children of his own that he's actually ready for, he will understand what I did and why and will thank me for it.”

“Do you honestly think he's ever going to thank you for trying to kill his unborn child?” Lawson looked away. “I didn't want to say anything in front of Namon, but what you did was cold, Lawson. It was cruel. A man's child is his soul. Even though Simon was conceived under all the wrong circumstances, I wouldn't give him up for the world. That's my child. He's a piece of me. I imagine Namon feels the same way.”

“Why can't anyone see that all I did was what any mother in my situation would do? I will do anything to protect my child!”

“And now you see that he will do anything to protect his.”

“Maybe you'd be less stressed if you didn't have so many
lies to keep track of!”

 

–
Angel King

 

“Should I even bother to ask why you've been giving me the cold shoulder lately?” asked Duke when he, Angel, and the girls returned from church that Sunday.

“Who said I was giving you the cold shoulder?” replied Angel.

Duke grabbed his newspaper and sat down. “Whatever.”

Angel absently channel surfed.

“Do you mind turning that down please?” requested Duke. “I'm reading.”

Angel cut him with her eyes before blurting out, “You lied to me, didn't you?”

Duke muttered something under his breath and continued reading the paper.

“So you're just going to ignore me?”

“At this moment, yes.”

“Why?”

“Because whatever it is you're talking about is just going to heap more stress onto an already stressful time in my life.”

“Maybe you'd be less stressed if you didn't have so many lies to keep track of!”

Duke lowered his newspaper. “Lies? Angel, what lies are you talking about now?”

“I thought you didn't want to talk about it,” she retorted.

“I don't want to talk about it. I want to get it over with—preferably sooner rather than later.”

Angel paused. “You said that you never touched her.”

“Touched who?”

Angel smacked her lips. “Who do you think, Duke?”

“Man, are we seriously going to rehash this for the thousandth time? We've been over this more than once. I never assaulted her, I never sexually harassed her, and I never did any of the things she's accusing me of! You know that.”

“I thought I did. For the record, I truly believe you when you say you didn't assault her, but what I don't believe is that absolutely nothing happened in that room.”

“What?”

“Are you telling me that you weren't attracted to her? That you didn't have every intention of sleeping with her that night?”

“No, I wasn't, and no, I didn't.”

“But you kissed her, right?”

Duke dropped his head.

“You flirted with her, you bought her drinks, you took her up to your room, you kissed her, and you wanted to take her to bed. You wanted her, didn't you?”

Duke was irritated. “Where are you even getting this crap from?”

“I got it from the horse's mouth.”

He looked up. “Are you talking about her deposition? That piece of garbage has more lies and holes in it than Swiss cheese!”

“I'm not talking about that. I went to see her.”

He glowered. “Why?”

“I was trying to clear your name, Duke! I wanted the truth.”

“So did you want the truth, or did you want to clear my name? Because right now, you seem to think that those are two different things.”

“I don't hear you denying it.”

“No, what you don't hear is me
dignifying
it! Angel, when have I lied to you? What have I done to make you feel like you can't trust me to be honest with you?”

“Are you kidding me? This wouldn't be the first time you've ever lied and cheated on me, Duke! You left me, remember? You walked out on me and married your mistress, so it wouldn't be a far stretch to think you might be capable of cheating.”

“So we're back on that, huh? You're going to use something that happened twelve years ago against me? You don't trust me. After everything we've gone through, Angel, you still don't trust me.”

“If I don't trust you, it's
because
of everything we've gone through.”

“I've apologized to you, and I vowed that I'd never hurt you like that again. I meant that. And if we're looking at track records, yours isn't squeaky clean, either, baby girl.”

She was taken aback. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, you're going to stand there all wide-eyed and innocent like you didn't go after my cousin a few years ago—carrying on with him right under my own roof? You wanna talk about that? What about all the sex chat rooms you were frequenting, to the point that Miley had to get stitches because you were too busy getting your rocks off on the Internet to watch her.”

“I can't believe you brought that up!” snapped Angel.

“And I can't believe you're using something that happened a decade ago as an excuse to side with the woman who's trying to have me locked up! You betrayed me too, Angel, but once you said that you'd never hurt me that way again, I believed you. I didn't second-guess that for a minute. I wish you could show me the same courtesy.”

“I have shown you that courtesy. I'm here, aren't I?”

“Don't say it like you're doing me any favors,” muttered Duke.

“Okay, if Mya is lying, how does she know about the tattoo on your chest? Can you answer that?”

“Why bother when you've already decided that I'm guilty?”

“I didn't say that.”

“You didn't have to. I see it in your eyes, and I can hear it in your voice.”

Angel exhaled. “I just need to know that the man I'm going to marry is being up front with me. I can't get into another union with you having doubts.”

“That's a little premature, isn't it, considering I haven't asked you to marry me?”

She was stumped. “Duke, we've been talking about getting remarried for years. We were engaged.”

“Yeah, until you started messing around with my cousin and dumped me. Then you went out and slept with ole boy and got pregnant by him. And who was there to pick up the pieces after your abortion? I was—no questions asked. I haven't so much as touched another woman other than you since my wife died. If anybody ought to be questioning somebody's loyalty, it's me!” he declared.

“Yet as hard as it was to tell you the truth, I was honest with you about all of that. All I'm asking is that you do the same.”

“I've done that. My story hasn't changed from the first time I told you what happened. All that's changed is that you talked to Mya. Now you can choose to believe the woman who's out to get me instead of the man who loves you.”

“The only thing I'm asking is that you tell me how she knows about the tattoo. How could she know about it, unless you were somewhere together, presumably in the hotel room, with your shirt off?”

Duke stood up. “Angel, I've got enough I'm trying to deal with without adding your allegations on top of Mya's. I think you should leave.”

“You're kicking me out?”

“I'm giving myself a break! I can't deal with you right now.”

Angel stood akimbo. “Is it that you can't deal with me or you can't deal with the truth?”

“I need a woman who is going to stand by my side, not monitor and question my every move. I need a woman who trusts me more than some vindictive trick with a score to settle. If you can't be that person for me, so be it.”

“So that's it?” she asked. “We're over?”

When he didn't answer, Angel grabbed her jacket and headed to the door. She looked at him before going out. “Then I guess it's over.”