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Authors: Shana Burton

BOOK: Flaws and All
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Chapter 46
“I made myself believe that I deserved it.”
—
Kina Battle
 
Kina knocked on the door of her former English teacher's classroom. Everything looked almost as it did the last time she was there. “Mrs. Evans, you got a minute?”
“Hey, Kina Anne, come on in.” Mrs. Evans walked over to the door and gave Kina a hug. “I was shocked when the office buzzed down here and said you were looking for me. You just missed E'Bell. He was headed toward the gym.”
“Actually, I was kind of hoping that the two of us could talk alone.”
“Sure. Have a seat. Your old desk is still right there in the front.”
Kina squeezed into the desk. “I don't remember it being this hard to get into when I was seventeen.”
“I could get into my desk a lot easier then too,” quipped Mrs. Evans. “So, what can I do for you?”
Kina folded her hands together. “Well, I wanted to talk you about E'Bell.”
Mrs. Evans sat down. “I have to confess, Kina, I don't really say too much to him these days, pretty much just hello and good-bye. From what I can see, he seems like a pretty good worker, if that's what you're wondering.”
“No, not quite. I want to know about when he was a student in your class. I know it's been a while, but anything you can remember would be a big help.”
“Okay, exactly what do you want to know?”
“What kind of student was he?”
Mrs. Evans thought back. “E'Bell was an okay student, I guess. He was never disrespectful or anything, probably because he spent most days asleep in my class. I don't think he worked as hard as he could, but in those days, things were different. There wasn't all the accountability that students and teachers have placed on them now. E'Bell was the star football player, one of the best in the state. It was sort of understood that you didn't fail our best athletes.”
“Did he seem to struggle at all with the assignments?”
“He didn't put forth enough effort to struggle. He would do enough to get by, or rather, get his girlfriend to do it for him.”
Kina smiled bashfully. “Guilty as charged. What about when he did work on his own?”
Mrs. Evans nodded slowly as she remembered. “He got frustrated a lot, but rather than try, he'd just give up and put his head down. I remember him never wanting to read aloud in class, afraid that the students would laugh at him, I suppose. He just . . . I don't know, didn't really like being in school. To tell you the truth, I think he would've dropped out if it weren't for football.”
“Did you ever hear him read?” asked Kina.
“No. It often concerned me that I never saw E'Bell read anything. Even the kids who didn't like to read the books I assigned to them would still read their little romance novels or sports magazines. That wasn't the case with E'Bell.”
“Why did it bother you so much?”
“I was afraid that he might be illiterate. I tried to have him tested, but his mother and his coaches fought me on it and won.”
Kina looked at her with skepticism. “Can a person really go to school for that long and not know how to read?”
“It's easier than you think. Kids fall through the cracks all the time, I'm sad to say. Now we have all of these state-mandated tests that the students have to take, so it's harder for kids to make it all the way to graduation without being able to read. In most cases, though, those are the kids that end up dropping out.”
“They would still have to read at some point, right?”
“People can be functionally literate. A person might read well enough to fill out a job application or something like that, but if you're an adult reading at a third or fourth grade level, you're still considered to be illiterate.”
Kina closed her eyes and murmured, “So, Lawson was right about him.”
“Kina, are you worried that E'Bell can't read?”
Kina nodded her head. “It's crazy, huh?”
“Not at all. It would actually make a lot of sense.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because of his test scores.”
“What about them?”
Mrs. Evans filed away some papers. “Well, you already know the story with Duke and USC and those other colleges that were looking at him.”
“I thought those schools accepted him.”
“They did, pending his test scores. Once the scores came back, they all rescinded their offers.” She noticed the pained expression on Kina's face. “Didn't you know about that?”
Kina shook her head. “All I knew is that he was offered scholarships, but he changed his mind about going when I told him I was pregnant with Kenny.”
Mrs. Evans turned away, mortified.
“What else is going on here?”
“Kina, it's really not my place to get into it. I honestly thought you knew.”
“Knew what?”
Mrs. Evans held up her hand. “You need to talk to E'Bell. I've said too much as it is.”
“Mrs. Evans, please. You don't understand. For the past eleven years, I've blamed myself for E'Bell not going on to college like he wanted to. I've always felt like if he didn't sacrifice everything for me and the baby, he wouldn't be in the situation he's in now. I need to know the truth.”
“I understand all that, but it's E'Bell's business. I don't want to get involved.”
“Mrs. Evans . . . he hits me,” admitted Kina aloud for the first time. “He beats me and he blames me for him not being able to go to college. I've stayed with him and taken his abuse all this time because I believed him. If there is some other reason that E'Bell didn't go to school, I need to know that.”
“Oh, Kina, you poor child.” She pulled Kina into her arms and held her. “We have to get you some help. We've got to involve the police. E'Bell can't get away with this, and you can't risk your life staying married to a man who abuses you.”
She pulled away from her former teacher. “I don't want to call the police right now. I just need to know the truth.”
“He's not supposed to be hitting you for any reason. No one deserves to be treated that way.”
“I know, but I felt so guilty that I made myself believe that I deserved it.”
Mrs. Evans took a deep breath. “Kina, it wasn't your fault that E'Bell didn't get into college. His test scores kept him out, not you.”
“What do you mean?”
“E'Bell never really finished high school. He doesn't have a diploma.”
“Yes, he does,” argued Kina. “I was there. I saw him graduate.”
Mrs. Evans shook her head. “I'm not supposed to be telling you this, but he never passed his graduation tests.”
“What?”
“His scores were extremely low, like in the third percentile for the high school exit exam. They were just as low on the college admissions tests. With scores like that and no diploma, no school would even look at him, not even some of the local colleges. It had nothing to do with you being pregnant.”
“That can't be right,” said Kina, confused. “I saw him graduate. I saw him walk across that stage and get a diploma. I saw all the letters from the colleges and the scholarships they wanted to give him. This doesn't make any sense.”
“Yes, he walked across the stage the same as you did, but what he got was a certificate of attendance, not a diploma. He received a paper that said that he'd been to school for twelve years, that's it.”
“But he said it was because of me,” wailed Kina, trying to piece it all together. “He said that he was trying to do the right thing by marrying me and raising our baby together. He told me that he had sacrificed his whole future for Kenny and me.”
“That may be what he told you, probably was what he told himself, too, but E'Bell's football career was over long before you had that baby. Marrying you just gave him an excuse for not going off to school, his way of saving face.”
“He probably never even loved me.” Kina felt numb. Her entire marriage was a lie. She had been beaten for nothing, degraded for nothing, ashamed for nothing. It was the price for believing in her husband.
“Kina, I can talk to our principal if you want. He needs to know what E'Bell's been doing to you. We have campus police right here at the school. I can go with you if you want to file charges.”
Kina scooted out of the desk. “That won't be necessary, Mrs. Evans. E'Bell needs this job, I'm not going to file charges.” She did, however, have every intention of filing for a divorce.
 
 
Kenny sat on his bed, clutching two pillows over his ears so he wouldn't hear his parents arguing. The pillows muffled their words, but he could still hear them yelling. He knew he had to do something before his father got angry enough to hit his mother again. He threw the pillows down and ran to his parents' bedroom.
“All this time!” screamed Kina. “All this time I let you blame me for everything that happened. You let me think it was my fault that you didn't have your big football career, that it was my fault that you couldn't go to college, that it was my fault that we had to live this way. All along you knew that it was all because of you, because you couldn't read.”
“Shut up before I come over there and shut you up,” threatened E'Bell.
“Here you are, the big shot football player,” she said mockingly, “so tough that you have to beat on your wife in order to feel like a man.”
E'Bell walked up on her. “Who do you think you're talking to?”
Kina dug her finger into his chest. “I'm talking to this ignorant, cowardly, pitiful excuse for a man named E'Bell Ricardo Battle! I let you take my hope and my self-esteem, but you won't take another day of my life and happiness away.” Then she announced, “I'm leaving.”
A menacing scowl washed over E'Bell's face. “You gon' do what?”
“I'm taking my child, and we are getting as far away from you as we can.”
His eyes turned cold. “Kina, I'll kill you. You know that?”
“You don't scare me anymore, E'Bell. You can say and do whatever you want, but nothing's going to stop me from leaving. If you've got to kill me, then fine. Either way, I'll be free from you.”
E'Bell grabbed her by the arm and twisted it. “You think you better than me now, huh? You getting your little degree, so you think you better than somebody?”
Kina looked him dead in his eyes. “You're doggone right!” She snatched her arm away from him. “It's over, E'Bell,” she declared with finality.
E'Bell roared, “You ain't going nowhere. You hear me?” he pushed Kina hard against the wall. She hit her head against one of the sconces, sending an excruciating pain through her entire body. Too groggy to stand, she slumped to the floor.
E'Bell kicked her in the stomach. “Talk bad now! Get up!”
Kina tried to stand and defend herself, but he smacked her back down. “You think you gon' leave somebody? If you leave here, it'll be in a hearse! Today will be the last day you ever take that tone with me!”
E'Bell punched Kina in the head. Her vision went blurry, but in her haze, Kenny appeared like an apparition, brandishing something in his hand. She couldn't make out what it was. She did, however, make out E'Bell raising his fist in the air as he prepared to strike her.
“Stop it!” cried Kenny. “Leave her alone!”
Kina braced herself for the blow to her head that never came. Instead, she heard a loud crackling noise followed by blood spattering the living room wall. The last thing she heard was the thud of E'Bell's gun hitting the ground as it slipped from Kenny's hand. The last thing she saw before the room went dark was E'Bell's body dropping to the floor.
Chapter 47
“No more stalling, no more games.”
—
Lawson Kerry
 
Lawson opened the door and greeted Garrett with a smile. “Thanks for coming.”
“Well, you said Namon needed me, so I'm here.”
She let him in and closed the door. “Namon does need you. So do I.”
“Lawson,” Garrett sighed, “we've been here before. The fact is you were stalling about us getting married long before Mark even came in the picture. I have to accept that we're not meant to be. Maybe you are better off marrying Namon's dad.”
She shook her head. “Mark is not the one for me. You are.”
Garrett took off his jacket. “And how do you know that?”
“Mark can't look at me the way you do and know what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking. We know what every sigh, every touch, every kiss means to the other one. I could never have that with Mark. I don't even want to.”
“Then why would you let him think he had a chance with you?”
“I just needed more time, and it was the only way I could stall him. But that's over now. Namon knows the truth, so no more stalling and no more games. I want to marry you, Garrett, if you'll still have me. More than anything, I want to be your wife.”
Before Garrett could reply, the doorbell rang. Lawson opened the door and let Mark in.
“What's he doing here?” asked Garrett as the two exchanged harsh glares.
Lawson escorted Mark to where Garrett stood. “He's here because I asked him to come. Like it or not, we're all stuck with each other. We all love and want what's best for Namon, and what's best for him is all three of us, one dysfunctional blended family.”
“For that to work, your boyfriend here is going to have to respect the fact that I'm Namon's real father,” pointed out Mark.
“And, Mark, you're going to have to respect the fact that Garrett has been a fantastic father to Namon. I'm not cutting him out of my son's life to appease you.”
“How is Namon supposed to accept me as his father if this joker's always hanging around?”
“I don't know, but we'll figure it out. There's no better time to start than now.” She called Namon out of his room.
“What's going on?” asked Namon, entering the room.
Lawson brought him over to Mark. “Your father would like to spend some time with you today.”
“Do I have to?” whined Namon.
“Yes, you do. You can spare him a few minutes of your time. Go on, grab your coat.”
She addressed Mark. “There's a football in the backyard. I guess that's as good a place to start as any.” Namon snatched up his jacket and grudgingly headed out of the back door with Mark behind him.
Garrett waited until they closed the door behind them to speak. “I have to be honest with you, Lawson. I don't know if I can do this. I was cool when Mark wasn't around, and I could pretend that I was Namon's father, but I can't do that anymore.”
Lawson grabbed him by the collar and looked squarely into his eyes. “Do you love me?”
“Lawson—”
“Do . . . you . . . love . . . me?” she enunciated slowly.
He exhaled. “You know I do.”
“Do you believe that I'm the woman God created for you?”
“I did.... I do.”
“Do you still want to marry me and spend the rest of our lives together?”
Garrett exhaled and nodded.
“Then hold on to that”—she pulled him into an embrace—“and hold on to me.”
 
 
Namon and Mark tossed the football back and forth in silence until Mark raised a question.
“So, you like football, huh?” he asked Namon.
“Yeah, I've gotten pretty good at it.”
Mark threw the ball to him. “What position do you play?”
Namon stated, “QB,” and tossed it back.
“Like father, like son,” said Mark and chuckled.
“My mom said you used to play over in Germany.”
Mark nodded. “I did. I went over there right after college. The GFL is the German version of our NFL.”
“Who'd you play for?”
“I played for the Berlin Eagles for a couple of years and played arena football after that. Then I hurt my knee and that kind of ended the football thing for me. Coaching is cool, though. I actually like it more than playing.”
“Did you make a lot of money when you were playing football?”
“I made a li'l something . . . and blew
a lot
of something!”
“You think I could play for the NFL?”
“Maybe. I thought I could, but you see where I ended up. I thank God that I had my degree to fall back on.” He walked over to Namon and put a hand on his shoulder. “Son, there's nothing wrong with wanting to play in the league, but you should definitely have a Plan B. Always have a backup. Stay in school and get your education. That's the one thing that no one can ever take from you.”
“That what my mama always tells me.”
“Your mother is a very smart woman. You should listen to her.”
“Why didn't you guys ever get married?”
“That's a tricky one,” answered Mark. “We were really young when we met, not much older than you are now. We didn't know anything about love and marriage back then. I did ask her to marry me when I found out about you, though.”
“What did she say?”
“She said that she loves someone else.”
“She's talking about Garrett. He's her boyfriend, but they're supposed to be getting married soon.”
“Yeah, she told me. How does he treat you?”
“Who, my dad?” asked Namon without thinking. “I mean, I know you're my real dad.”
“No, Garrett's been the one who's been your real dad all this time, not me. Hopefully, in time, we can change all that.”
“He's been really good to me and my mom.”
“I can tell. Hey, did your mom tell you that you have a little sister?”
“No.”
Mark pulled out his wallet and flashed a picture of his daughter. “Her name is Mariah. She's six. She lives in North Carolina with her mother.”
“She's pretty. It's weird that I have a sister who I haven't even met yet.”
“Well, she'll be down here this summer. I'd love for you to come over and spend some time with her, get to know her.”
He nodded his head. “It might be cool to have a little sister to boss around.”
“It might be cool to have two dads, too,” added Mark. “What do you think about that?”
Namon turned the football around in his hands. “It might be all right. We can try, I guess.”
“Look, Namon, I know that I missed the first fourteen years of your life, and I know that we didn't get off on the right start.” Mark stooped down. “But if you give me a chance, I promise to be the best father to you that I can be.”
“Well, you two seem to be getting along,” said Lawson with a smile as she and Garrett joined Namon and Mark in the backyard.
Namon grinned. “I've got a little sister.”
“Yeah, I know,” replied Lawson. “It looks like you've got an extra dad as well.”
Mark turned to Garrett. “So, I guess you'll be sticking around.”
He nodded. “As long as this beautiful lady will have me.” Garrett kissed Lawson on the forehead.
Mark dug his foot in the ground. “Hey, man, I want to apologize for how I came at you earlier. I was trippin' because I was jealous of your relationship with Lawson and my son, but that's no reason to overstep like that. I'm sorry.”
Garrett extended his hand. “There are no hard feelings. Lawson and Namon are wonderful people. I can't even say I blame you.”
Mark shook his hand. “And rest assured that you're the only man Lawson wants. I pulled out all my best stuff, but she never took the bait. All she kept talking about was how much she loved you.”
Lawson smiled. “Thank you, Mark. It means a lot that you would say that.” Lawson's phone rang. “Hello . . . What? Wait, slow down . . . Oh, no . . . I'll be right there!” She hung up the phone.
“What's wrong?” asked Garrett.
“We've got to go,” she informed him. “That was Kina's neighbor. E'Bell's been shot. We have to go to the hospital.”
“What about Kenny?” asked Namon, worried about his cousin. “Is he okay?”
“Sweetie, I don't know. I just know that the ambulance is over there, and they're on the way to the hospital.”
Garrett pulled out his car keys and tossed them to Namon. “Why don't you go and unlock the doors for us.” Namon dashed out of sight. “Now, tell me what you were afraid to say in front of Namon, because I can see it in your eyes.”
Lawson shook her head. “All I know is that E'Bell was shot, and Kina's been badly beaten. Right now, I don't know if it looks good for either one of them.”

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