Flesh: Part Thirteen (The Flesh Series Book 13) (4 page)

For the next twenty
minutes, we bathe each other. Well, mostly he bathes me. I stand
there lazily while he washes my hair and then his own before sudsing
up my body. After I've rinsed off, I turn around to wash his chest.
That's about as far as I get before my energy reserves run out and I
end up just leaning against him. He kisses my forehead and takes a
step back to finish washing himself before turning off the showerhead
and getting out of the shower to get me a towel.

I like how he's
putting me before him. It makes my heart swirl with a warm, fuzzy
feeling. This is the affectionate side of him that I love so much.

Once we're both
dried off, we crawl into bed together. I glance over at the pictures
on his dresser and bedside tables. They're turned down again, but it
doesn't bother me. I understand how he feels now, that he doesn't
want his dead wife to see us together. It's a funny thing. The dead
see all. Turning the pictures down won't make a difference. But
whatever gives him comfort.

Lucian turns off the
light, and I curl up against him. He pulls me into his arms, and I
rest my head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat while he
strokes my damp hair. I've never felt more peaceful in my entire
life, more ready to sleep.

Lucian kisses me on
the forehead, then he shifts beneath me. I groan as my head falls off
of his chest and I have to grab my pillow and readjust. His warm
breath pets over my face, and then his lips touch my cheek. His hand
slips under my arm to caress my side, running down it. Then he
wiggles closer to me, and I feel his erection against my leg.

“
Really,
Lucian?” I open one eye to look at him. He's all grins as he
maneuvers me onto my back. “Dear God, you're insatiable. We
just had a shower.”

“
And
now I want to get dirty again,” he mumbles against my neck.

“
If
I pass out on you, don't be offended.” I glare at him. Doesn't
the man understand that I need my sleep?

“
You
won't pass out.” He crawls on top of me, pulling my knee up so
that he can get between my legs.

I hiss as he presses
into me. While my body isn't as sore as it was earlier, it still
hurts a little, but the pain only lasts until he's all the way
inside. He moves gently, his cock rhythmically pumping in and out of
me. His lips kiss wherever they can find skin.

I wrap my arms
around his broad shoulders. For as much as I just want to go to
sleep, the sensuality of what he's doing demands my attention. I purr
contently, knowing that he's making love to me this time. My lips
quirk into a smile, and I crane my head for his affectionate kisses.
One of my hands crawls up the nape of his neck to curl into his hair.
I like that I'm able to touch him now, that I'm not so restrained.

Soft moans fall from
my lips as he presses deep between my thighs, his body becoming a bit
more aggressive. It's love making on the uptick. He's gaining the
leverage he needs for release, and I'm basking in the emotions that
our coupling causes. If every night were like this, I'd be in heaven.
If he were always like this, I'd want to marry him. This isn't who he
is all the time though.

I cling to him
desperately, loving the feel of his body moving on top of mine. He
pushes into me a few more times, and then he stills, panting while he
kisses my cheeks, my nose, my eyes.

He rolls off of me
to go to the bathroom and grab a towel, cleaning me up before he
climbs into bed beside me again. This time when he pulls me into his
arms, I know it's for sleep.

I slide my hand over
his stomach before bringing it up to his chest, nuzzling against him.
My fingers splay across the hard muscle there, feeling the thrumming
of his heartbeat. I tilt my head to kiss the patch of skin next to my
thumb, sighing contently. Sexually, I'm completely fulfilled.
Emotionally, I'm topped off as well. It's crazy to think that just
this morning I had convinced myself that I never wanted to see him
again. Now I'm more in love with him than ever. The feeling is so
intense that I can hardly contain it.

A blush creeps over
my cheeks as the words roll around inside of my mouth. I shouldn't
say them. He doesn't deserve to hear them.

Maybe if I say them
though, he'll realize how much he means to me. Perhaps it will make
him leave Flesh. Should I take the chance? The thought of saying them
just makes me feel so vulnerable.

“
I...”
I hesitate, choking on my own breath as if my heart is pulling the
words back into my throat. I need to get it out though. The feeling
is just too strong to be denied, and he needs to know the truth. “I
love—”

SNORE!

My shoulders slump
from the realization that he's fast asleep. Then I shake my head and
grin. I was so sure that I'd be the one to pass out first. Maybe he
was more exhausted than he let on.

Oh well. Surely,
there will be other times to say it. Better times. A time when I'm
certain that he loves me too.

***

The morning comes
early, as it always does on days when I have to work. I groan when I
realize that Lucian is already out of bed. It's a bit annoying that
he can sneak out of the room without waking me.

I roll over onto my
back and hiss from pain. The night's sleep didn't erase the sting of
the lashing. My back feels tight, and I know that every time I move
the wrong way, I'll remember what he did to me. It makes me kind of
sad, but I have to remind myself that it is what I wanted. He gave me
a taste of what he does to the girls at Flesh, and I couldn't handle
it. I don't want to think about that now though. I never want to
think about it, to be honest. Knowing that he's still going to be
working there...It doesn't make me feel good.

I force myself out
of bed and rummage through his closet for a shirt to cover myself
with. We're past the point of me worrying about how he'll react to me
putting on his clothes. As far as I'm concerned, we're a couple now.
He belongs to me and I belong to him. Sure, our relationship is
unconventional, but we'll make it work somehow.

There's no smell of
food wafting in from the kitchen this morning, but I decide to head
that way anyway. Lucian is on the sofa in the living room watching
the news. I can't help but smirk at the realization that I'm already
becoming accustomed to his morning habits.

He smiles at me when
I come into view, looking me up and down before he wolf whistles at
me. “You look better in that shirt than I do.”

“
Thank
you.” I grab the sides of the white button down shirt and pull
it closed so that my breasts aren't exposed.

“
Breakfast
is in the fridge. I cut you up a bowl of fresh fruit, and there's
yogurt with granola in it as well. You can have your choice of juice
or milk. Feel free to rummage through the cabinets for a glass. Me
casa is su casa.”

“
Did
you already eat?” I try not to frown in disappointment. It's a
dumb question considering that he's already dressed for work.

“
Yeah.”
He returns his attention to the television, probably silently urging
me to continue on to the kitchen.

I open up the fridge
to find a small tray with sliced up fruit and a cup of yogurt with
granola. I pull it out, pour myself a glass of milk, and head into
the dining room to eat, wishing I could be in the living room with
him. I love our mornings together and want to spend as much time with
him as possible before I have to get back to reality and the fear
that he might relapse into being dismissive again. How I hope that
doesn't happen this time. I honestly don't think I could take going
through it again.

I practically inhale
my food just so I can get to him faster. By the time I make my way to
the living room, he's watching something on the History channel.
Boring, I think though I don't dare to say it.

Almost the second my
ass hits the sofa, he turns to me and asks, “Aren't you going
to get dressed? We both have to leave soon.”

I frown, feeling
rejected as I force myself to stand and find my clothes in the
dungeon. Is he already putting space between us? It sure seems like
it. Aside from his flirting comment earlier, he's been nothing but
cold towards me since I got up.

When I open the door
to the dungeon, the smell of sex hits me like a ton of bricks. I
quickly start opening the windows in the room before I put my clothes
on. The strap that Lucian lashed me with as well as the collar that
he made me wear are still lying on the floor. I stare at them for a
moment, my mind shifting back to the horrific scene before he took
pity on me and decided to rectify things. The thought that some women
actually get pleasure out of such violent acts is completely out of
my realm of understanding. The thought that he enjoys hurting women
like that makes my heart throb with pain. I'll never be able to give
that to him. Will he ever be able to live without it?

With a heavy sigh, I
finish putting on my clothes before returning to the living room.
Lucian has already turned the television off and is standing there
checking the contents of his pockets to make sure he has everything
he needs for work.

“
Are
you ready?” he asks when he looks up at me.

“
I
suppose so.” I try not to seem too disappointed as I follow him
to the door.

The morning went by
so fast. We didn't even get to spend any time together. Now I really
wish he would have woken me up earlier.

Once we're outside,
he throws his arm over my shoulder, walking me out towards my car. “I
want you to have a good day at work.”

“
Same
to you.” I smile weakly at him.

“
I'll
talk to you tonight.” He kisses me on the temple before leaning
over to open my car door for me.

The fact that he's
seeing me off makes me feel a little bit suspicious as if he's going
to go do something else besides work after I leave. I do my best to
wipe that thought away. Relationships are built on trust. I need to
learn to trust him.

I pull out of his
driveway, watching him in my rear view mirror until I have no choice
but to pull out of sight. He was walking back toward the house when I
last saw him, probably either going to call his driver or drive
himself to work. I know that he has his own car. Perhaps a few cars.

All the way back to
my apartment, I ponder everything that went on the day and night
before. It seems like every time that I see Lucian, I'm left dwelling
on his actions. It's hard to trust anything though when he's so
emotionally unstable. It makes me emotionally unstable, and I don't
like that at all. Oh well, at least we're making progress.

As soon as I get
home, I change and then head back out to work. Next time I go to
Lucian's house, I need to bring extra clothes so that I don't have to
do all of this running around. It would be so much easier to go
straight from his house into work.

Derrick is coming
out of Tyra's office when I walk through the doors of Environ Design.
He waits for me at my desk with a smirk plastered across his face.

“
What?”
I ask, quirking an eyebrow at him.

“
He
must have torn that shit up last night.” Derrick nods towards
my skirt.

Instantly, I glance
down to check for snags, taking his words a bit too literally. When I
realize that there's nothing wrong with my outfit, I look back up at
him. “What are you talking about?”

Derrick rounds the
corner of my desk and leans over to whisper in my ear, “You're
walking funny.”

My cheeks turn about
seven different shades of pink and I cover my hand with my face in
embarrassment, inhaling deeply before I finally get the courage to
ask, “Are you serious?”

“
Mhm.”
He nods slowly. “So what did the two of you do? Tell me all of
the details.”

“
Do
you really want to hear about it?” My expression is skeptical.

“
Girl,
I ain't never seen you look like that before. There's not enough
makeup in the world to hide the bags under your eyes. And that little
wide-legged swagger you've got going on. I know there's some crazy
story behind it. Did you even sleep last night?”

I'm both amazed and
a little refreshed by Derrick's new found interest in my relationship
with Lucian. Apparently, he's forgotten all about his crazy love
confession. There's no jealousy in his tone at all.