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              “I'm sorry this isn't how we spend all of our time right now,” Alex said seriously as he pulled Elise inside. She smiled serenely up at him, still enjoying the feeling of his warm hand securely enclosing hers.

              “It's all right,” she started to brush his remark off, but his somber eyes stopped her. “What is it?”

              Alex sighed, looking down at their entwined hands. “Our abilities are really remarkable things,” he said softly, and Elise began to worry about where he was going with this. She stood silently, waiting, until he met her eyes squarely. “You know how long I have spent gathering power and perfecting my control, but I have to ask... do you trust me in your mind?”

              “Of course.” The words left Elise's mouth before she even thought about them. A moment later, she second-guessed her response, and she knew he saw it. But he waved off her shame.

              “This isn't about sharing old secrets,” he said. She could tell he was reluctant to say whatever it was he was trying to get out, but she didn't want to push him. Finally, he sighed, squeezed her hand gently, and let go. Elise felt adrift, cut off, and the feeling multiplied when he spoke again. “If you want me to, I can change the past for you.”

              Elise blinked at him, uncomprehending. “You can do what?” Half-formed, ridiculous ideas of time travel chased themselves through her mind, but he was already shaking his head.

              “I can't change what happened, but... I can change,” he hesitated. “I can change how you see it. I can mute it, dull the pain of it all, make it seem like it happened lifetimes ago.” He looked out, his eyes unfocused as he stared blankly into the willow trees. “I've been trying to figure out how to tell you, in the interest of being honest, but after what you said to me yesterday I couldn't put it off any longer.”

              Her heart was pounding as she considered his offer. No more nightmares, no more tight terror stalking her every step, no more panicked flashbacks threatening to ruin any chance she might have at intimacy? No more gaping pit of shame and horror and loneliness yawning inside her chest, threatening every moment to swallow her whole? She opened her mouth to scream, “Yes!”
              And stopped, flexing her fingers.

              Would she still feel such joy at every tiny touch? Would she still have the sense of triumph that came from her baby steps of progress? She was wiser now, more cautious, and though she sometimes wished she could trust more easily, it was probably for the best that she had learned to guard herself. Would she lose those hard-won lessons? What parts of her personality would change if she wasn't so overshadowed by her past? For those things to change gradually, naturally, was one thing-- running the risk that she'd change abruptly, drastically, because she asked him to remove the part of her that defined so much of who she was, was entirely another.

              But did she want to be defined by it? Did she want to spend the next who knew how many years as “the girl who doesn't talk to anyone,” or “the girl with secrets,” or worse yet, “the girl who got raped?”

              Still, Elise thought she'd rather fight that by herself. After all, wanting to distance herself from other people had led her to dressing the way she felt most comfortable, to focusing on her music and her education and her future-- and those were all good things. There were certainly hobbies, activities, and relationships that had been left behind along the way, but those were things she could grow back into. Overall, she liked who she was now. Especially right now.

              Elise met Alex's dark, worried gaze with an easy smile. “No,” she said clearly. “Thank you for telling me-- I really appreciate your honesty, and the offer-- but I like who I am.” She bit her lip, dropping her eyes as something else occurred to her. “I'm sorry if that makes dealing with me harder for you,” she began.

              “Don't,” Alex interrupted her firmly. “Don't worry about me. This is about you-- what will make you happiest.”

              Elise brightened still further, until she was grinning as she reached for Alex's hand once more. “Thank you,” she said again, twining her fingers with his.

              “So,” he said, decisively changing the subject as he leaned against the railing of the gazebo and watched Elise play with their hands. “What do you miss most about your old life?”

              Elise wrinkled her nose at him. “Oh, no,” she laughed. “No questions for you unless I get to ask some, too.”

              Alex shrugged. “I miss the air,” he volunteered casually.

              “The air?” Elise repeated incredulously, staring at him. She didn't know what she'd expected him to say, but it wasn't that.

              “Of course,” he laughed, clearly pleased that he'd surprised her. “Cities have always stunk, but before the industrial revolution, you didn't have all the factories and plants pumping chemicals into the air; it smelled different. The whole world felt cleaner. Now, you have to go to the ends of the earth to find somewhere that smells clean, and even then it's impossible not to find some type of human garbage or other.”

              “Oh,” was all she could think to say. “I'll have to take your word for it, I suppose.”

              “I'll show you sometime,” he said, still chuckling a little. “Now, what about you?”

              Elise paused, considering that. She would have said that she missed doing things with her friends-- but, she realized with elation, that was what she was doing right now. So... “I miss dancing,” she blurted out.

              Now it was Alex's turn to look surprised. “Really?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

              “Oh, yeah,” she nodded vigorously, shaking her long hair out of her eyes impatiently as the wind gusted again. “I was too young for clubs and stuff, but I used to love going to school dances with my friends. I'd so been looking forward to the homecoming dance my freshman year--” she stopped, wondering if she should tell Alex this and risk ruining their afternoon. But, she reasoned, there was every chance he already knew. “Bill, the guy I sort of beat up when you took me back to Allison Springs... He'd actually asked me to the dance.”

              Alex nodded, his eyes dark and unreadable. Elise took a steadying breath as she watched Alex fight to keep his face blank. “I didn't end up going, of course-- not with him, or even just with my friends.” She sighed, fighting the grip of her memories-- not just of the bad times, but of the good ones, too. “Dancing requires the sort of reckless abandon that I haven't allowed myself since it all happened. It's exposing, freeing, and I loved it. But I guess I'm just not...” she trailed off, unsure how to voice it. It wasn't that she wasn't that person anymore-- she still wanted those things. “I'm just afraid,” she said quietly, wishing that statement didn't encompass so much of her life. Still, she'd turned down the offer to change things; now it was up to her to get over it herself.

              Or perhaps not entirely by herself. When she looked up into Alex's eyes once more, he was smiling. “Maybe I can help you.” His voice was deep, seductive, but in a playful way that brought a smile to Elise's lips once more. Without warning, he tugged hard on her hand, and Elise found herself somewhat inexplicably in his arms.

              “Wha--” she gasped, but stopped, because it was immediately apparent what he was doing. His left hand clasped her right, and his right hand was firmly on her waist; he took a step forward, and without thinking about it, Elise glided her right foot back. Despite the complete lack of music, Alex began to dance with her.

              Of course he was good at it, she thought ruefully. He was a powerful lead, waltzing her in slow circles around the gazebo. Elise had learned the steps at the same summer camp that taught her to sew, but it was clear that Alex had years and years of practice. As well as he led her, after a minute she stumbled and immediately felt a blush stain her cheeks.

              “Relax,” Alex murmured, his arms supporting her effortlessly as she found her feet once more; he never missed a beat. “Trust me.” She felt his mind brush politely at hers, inviting her to let him in. Biting her lip as she tried to keep in step while she focused, Elise did as he asked, and unfurled her mind to him like a fluttering fan unfolding. Instantly, she heard the music he was dancing to.

              “Strauss,” she breathed, recognizing the piece. He nodded.

              “Artists' Life,” he named it in English. “I saw him perform, you know,” he continued softly, his breath warming her cheek. Elise gasped as he suddenly dipped her back, but she recovered herself and arched in his arms, smiling up at him happily. Now that she could hear the music, too, she kept pace with him gracefully. “He was making his yearly visit to Russia when I was there in 1858.”

              “Russia?” Elise asked, trying to focus on the thread of the conversation as Alex spun her around. The music playing in her mind, his firm grasp and direction, were amazing, making her giddy and light-headed. More than that, the feeling of dancing once again made her spirit soar-- she'd known she missed it, but she hadn't acknowledged just how much. As she and Alex moved together as one, carving a path through the cool autumn air, she felt lighter and more free than she had in years-- she felt like herself again, and she loved that Alex could see it. Still, she was incurably curious. “Does that mean he's one of us?”

              Alex chuckled, changing direction and guiding Elise with him, her skirts swirling around them. “Going to Russia doesn't immediately make someone a vampire,” he said gently. “But yes, in this case, he was. The Queen summoned him in 1856, and he returned every year after for nearly a decade so his orchestra could play for her.”

              Elise was bubbling with questions, but every one of them died on her tongue when the music swelled in their minds and Alex's thought gave her a split-second of warning before he lifted her high into the air. He spun in a circle, holding her there, and Elise suddenly found it hard to breathe as once more, he demonstrated his sheer strength. Their gazes locked, his blue eyes blazing with emotion, and Elise's heart was pounding as Alex slowly lowered her to the ground. The music he'd been recalling for  their dance died away, and the moment dragged out as they stood in silence, wrapped in each other's arms.

              The wind scattered strands of Alex's hair across his face, but he didn't move to brush it away; he was looking down into Elise's eyes like a starving man who'd had a banquet laid before him but wouldn't believe it was real until he'd tasted the first bite.

              “Alex,” she whispered. He made to shush her, but she shook her head. “I don't want to--” she hesitated, not sure how to phrase her fears. Instead of struggling with words, she opened her mind, biting her lip as she tried to be gentle, and let him see. She showed him her uncertainty, that she didn't know what love felt like, or if she was really capable of feeling it. She showed him the deep vein of distrust that split her heart between “want” and “will,” “wish” and “can.” She let him see the things she loved about him-- his intensity, his laughter, his acceptance, the way he made her feel safe, and so much more-- but also let him see her confusion. If she was just drawn to him because he offered her knowledge and companionship in a world where she felt adrift, acting on that with the assumption that she really loved him would be disastrous for them both.

              Elise had tried to keep from hurting him, hating the fact that when it came to this she was so much stronger-- too strong, in fact. As gentle as she'd tried to be, she'd still felt him wince a few times as she'd lost focus and pushed too hard. And yet, against all the odds, he was smiling. Elise stared up at him, baffled, as he gazed down at her with warmth in his cerulean eyes. “My turn,” he murmured, and then Elise felt him doing something similar to what she had just done: pulling down his walls.

              Unconsciously, Elise moved her hands on Alex's shoulders, gripping his shirt nervously as she braced herself. But Alex was far more practiced than that; where her revelation had been a storm, his was a sunrise. And like a sunrise, his mind opened to her with warmth and golden light, gently enveloping her in the scent of him and a tenderness that brought tears to her eyes. He played for her his memories of moments when she'd caught at his heart: overcoming her terror and trauma to sit with him and tell him her story; half-frozen and huddled in his lap as she looked up to him to save her; a snippet of her laughing with him in the park, and the fierceness of her ruthless rage the day she returned to her old town. There also were memories of her wide-eyed look of wonder as she discovered her powers, and of her blatant concern for him the evening Rashid had turned up. He recalled for her the scent of her hair as he held her in his arms, and the sense of homecoming that he'd felt as she led him out of the museum and into the light.

              Elise was stunned by the immensity of his feelings, the pure sincerity of his heart-- but what surprised her most came from within herself. As she stood encircled by his arms, his memories surrounding her as she basked in the warmth that was his love for her, she felt an answering light within herself.

              Alex saw it at the same time she did, and raised a slender finger to touch her gently on her chest, just over her heart, where she felt her own glow radiating. At his touch, it intensified, coaxed into power by Elise's burgeoning surety that it really was her emotion, uninfluenced by his feelings and completely independent of current events.