Flirting in Traffic (17 page)

Esa kept herself busy for the rest of the afternoon cleaning her loft and catching up on work, trying not to fret about whether or not Finn would call, whether she should call him or if she should just forget about him altogether.

As if
that
was even a remote possibility.

At least after her talk with Rachel she felt better prepared to confront Finn again. Well, sort of—if this wild anticipation and trembling anxiety could be called better prepared.

When her phone did finally ring at around six-thirty she was so tense that she spasmodically jerked the medical file she’d been holding. Papers clattered and skittered onto the wood floor.

“Hello?” she asked, unable to fully disguise the tremor in her voice.

“Esa? It’s Finn.”

“Oh, hi. You got the right number this time,” she attempted cheerfully, trying to ignore how the sound of his voice made her heart pound loudly in her ears. “How are you?”

Her brow furrowed in the brief silence that followed.

“Finn?” she prompted anxiously.

“Hmmm? Oh, yeah. Fine.”

“Are you…are you still angry about the…”

“I’m not mad anymore, Esa.”

She swallowed anxiously when she heard the flat, distant quality of his voice. “You never really gave me a chance to explain why I did it.”

“I’m sure you had a stellar reason. That wasn’t really why I was calling. I just spoke with Julia.”

“Oh?” Esa asked with growing unease. “Did she stop by your condo again?”

“Yeah, she was really upset. It seems that someone she knows overheard your sister talking about running a story in
Metro Sexy
about Julia trying to start up things again with me while still involved with this guy she’s dating…Graves.”

Esa’s mouth gaped open. She hadn’t expected
this
.

“Finn…that’s not true.”

“That’s what I told her. But I have to admit, Esa, after this morning I’m not really sure what to think about you.”

“It’s true that Rachel came to your mother’s last night because of the information you accidentally left her on her phone about Julia. But I absolutely
forbade
her to do any story about Julia or you. I know how much you would hate that,” Esa rushed to explain.

“Yeah. Well, it looks like I don’t have any other choice but to take your word on that.”

Esa grabbed reflexively at the back of the couch as if to brace herself against the jolt of pain that suddenly went through her.

This was it.

She could just tell by the tone of his voice. The brilliant, all-too-brief affair with Finn Madigan was over…history.

“You
can
take my word on it. Please, Finn. I know how what I said this morning must have really taken you by surprise but you can trust me,” Esa said softly.

For a few silent seconds, as she waiting nervously for his response, she thought she might have gotten through to him. But she knew she hadn’t even before he spoke because she heard the sound of frustrated defeat in his sigh.

“You know, the thing of it is I can’t trust you. And it’s not just because of you lying. I’m not ready for this, Esa.”

Esa stared at the cushions of her couch blankly, seeing nothing, feeling like a vacuum of empty space had just opened up between her neck and belly.

“Oh. I see,” she murmured, even though in truth she felt blinded by hurt. “Well, I guess that’s it then.”

“Yeah…”

Esa’s heart leapt to life in her breast. Had that been uncertainty she heard tingeing his deep voice? She was kidding herself.

“Goodbye then,” she said breathlessly. She hit the disconnect button quickly before she made a fool of herself by begging Finn to give her a second chance.

She wasn’t sure how long she just stood there while her body tried to fend off the inevitable pain. Finally she cursed bitterly and hurled her phone onto the couch where it bounced up several feet off the taut cushion before settling.

Christ, Carla had been right. She really
did
have the ability to screw up something that could have been once-in-a-lifetime fantastic.

Two weeks later Esa walked out the emergency room exit of South Suburban Hospital with her head lowered, deep in thought. It was six-thirty on a Friday evening and the ER was packed with sick, annoyed, bored people. A virulent flu had been going around, one that worried Esa in regard to her elderly patients, who were so much more prone to dehydration than the younger, heartier portion of the population. Given the fact that many of them took several medications, dehydration tended to make the drug concentration too high in the bloodstream, causing myriad other physical problems.

That was why she’d had to hospitalize Mr. Ungar this evening. Carla had called earlier and left a message that she’d just take the train home since she wasn’t sure how long Esa would be and a last minute prediction had been made for a snowstorm.

Esa saw through the automatic glass doors that led out of the emergency room that the snow had already begun. She suppressed a groan of frustration when she saw how heavy it was. It fell straight down with no wind to hinder it, already accumulating thickly on the roads.

Great. Just great. The first storm of the season and not only had it come exceptionally early in the year but it was just recently being picked up by the weather forecast. People hadn’t had the opportunity to prepare for it and take the train into the city this morning. Add to that the factors of Friday evening and the Dan Ryan road construction and Esa saw all the components for a horrific traffic nightmare unfolding.

Maybe it all was fated, seeing as how it
was
Friday, November thirteenth, Esa thought with wry amusement.

“Esa!”

Her heart seemed to drop like a bowling ball into her gut. That voice—it had sounded like—

“Esa, I thought that was you,” the tall, attractive man with tousled burnished-brown hair said as he rushed to meet her.

Her gaze lowered over the black leather jacket and a pair of long thighs and trim hips encased in a well-fitted pair of khaki pants—both articles of clothing that were part of a state trooper uniform.

“Caleb. For a second I thought you were Finn,” she said blankly. Her disappointment felt like a palpable weight on her sagging shoulders.

He gave her a brilliant grin and stroked his chin with a black-gloved hand. “I shaved my goat. Probably look a bit like him without it.”

Esa did her best to return his smile. Caleb was right. A strong family resemblance did exist between the two cousins. The sight of it made her wonder if she’d truly recovered from that electric, brief fling with Finn like she kept telling herself she had or if she was really worse off than on the night he’d told her he wasn’t ready for a relationship and Esa had cried herself half-comatose.

“How have you been?” she asked as she straightened, trying to throw off the emotional weight that had settled on her like a lead cloak at the sight of a gorgeous Madigan male. “Not sick, I hope?”

“Nah, we brought in a guy who was whacked out on drugs and driving on the interstate. Not a good combination along with this crap,” he said as he nodded toward the falling snow.

“I’ll say. I’m about to go home in it. Thanks for making my drive a little safer.”

“All in the line of duty,” he assured her with a sexy grin. He shifted on his booted feet and glanced down at the hat he held in his hands. “So…have you seen much of Finn lately?”

Esa shook her head. “Not in several weeks. It was just a casual thing, you know.”

His green-eyed gaze snapped up to her face. “Really?”

“Sure,” she answered with what she hoped was careless disregard.

“He’s been working his ass off on the road construction. I doubt he’s had much time for dating. Jess said he’s been going all Yoda on everyone, holing up like a monk. I spoke to Molly a few days ago and she said she’d hardly heard a peep from him since the party. I have to say it surprises me—you two not seeing each other. I got the impression that Finn really liked you. And vice-versa.”

She forced a laugh. “Your cop instincts were way off then, I guess.”

He moved his hat restlessly in his hands but this time his eyes remained fixed on her. “I can’t say I’m sorry.”

Esa gave him a startled look. “Why?”

He shrugged. “I really liked you the night we met at Grandma Glory’s Halloween party,” he stated bluntly.

“Oh,” Esa replied awkwardly. She grasped for a change of topic and scolded herself for it even while she did it. Was she nuts? How many sane women would try to deflect a male as sexy as Caleb Madigan, especially when he regarded her with so much warmth and frank male appreciation?

“How is your grandmother?” she asked rapidly.

“She’s doing great. I heard from Mary Kate that she went to that doctor that you referred her to and the new physician reduced her diabetes medication.”

Esa gave a genuine smile. “I’m so glad to hear it. Listen, I better get going. The snow just keeps getting worse—”

She stopped speaking when he took a step closer to her. She could smell the leather from his jacket and the subtle remnants of his cologne. It was a very nice, admittedly sexy combination. But he didn’t smell like spicy aftershave or the clean outdoors. Caleb’s scent didn’t make her go weak in the knees or make heat pool between her thighs.

In other words, he didn’t smell like Finn.

She looked down rapidly to shield her disappointment in herself for having such irritating thoughts. Hadn’t she expressly forbidden herself for the past several weeks to dwell on Finn?

“Esa?”

“Hmmm?” she asked, still staring at the snow-sodden, dirty entryway carpet to the ER.

“My cop instincts really weren’t that far off, were they? At least when it comes to how you feel about my cousin?” When she didn’t immediately answer he continued softly. “In other words, I probably shouldn’t ask you out unless I’m feeling particularly masochistic, right?”

“Caleb, that’s sweet of you to consider but—”

“My motives were purely selfish, Esa. No sweetness involved.”

His sigh of disappointment brought her eyes up to his face.

Jeez, he was almost as gorgeous as Finn.
She
was the one who was masochistic around here. If she’d wanted clear evidence that what she’d felt for Finn was far beyond simple lust she’d just had it handed to her on a silver platter. If it had just been about a couple rounds of great sex with a yummy man, Caleb would undoubtedly fill the bill, in spades.

But she
didn’t
want that. The knowledge hardly reassured her.

“It’s okay, Esa,” he said when he saw what must have been a desperate plea in her eyes for him not to ask her out mixed with a mute apology.

“I’m sorry, Caleb. It’s just not a great time for me…”

He nodded good-naturedly. “Enough said. I understand.”

“I’m not sure you do,” she muttered uncomfortably. She stepped back when she realized he still stood close. “I’d better get going.”

“I’ll see you around.”

Esa smiled and nodded her head as she turned. She was just being polite, of course. It would be strange indeed if she ran into Caleb Madigan again…unless he pulled her over to give her a speeding ticket.

That was entirely possible, of course.

“Hey, Esa,” he called.

“Yeah?”

“Be extremely careful on the way home. It’s getting really bad on the interstates but we hear the side streets are much worse. The snow is really wet and falling heavier in a shorter period of time than I’ve ever seen. Not only can’t the plows keep up, unprepared for the storm as the Illinois Department of Transportation was, but even the cleared areas are turning slick and thick within twenty minutes after the plow passes. Add to all that the temperature is supposed to drop ten to fifteen degrees and the wind is going to pick up in the next few hours. The Dan Ryan is going to be a skating rink, but I wouldn’t advise taking any of the alternative routes. The Cook County police are considering closing Stony Island.”

Esa sighed. She’s been taking the alternative route of Stony Island all week, ostensibly to avoid the Dan Ryan traffic, in reality to avoid the chance of seeing Finn. Driving Stony Island Avenue had been just as teeth-grinding of a traffic experience as the Dan Ryan.

“Thanks for the advice, Caleb. Good luck out there tonight.”

“Thanks, you too,” he said with one of those flashing Madigan smiles. “I have a feeling we’re both going to need all the luck we can get. It’s going to be one hell of a Friday the thirteenth.”

Esa decided an hour and a half later, after having traveled a total of twelve miles on I-57, that she didn’t need luck. She needed a miracle if she—or any of the other unfortunate individuals on the road tonight—was ever going to make it home in one piece. She gripped the steering wheel tightly and forced her tensed shoulder and back muscles to relax but it was difficult. Constant vigilance was required to drive in the swirl of snow that encapsulated her car in a cloud of near invisibility.

The snow was so thick on the road that driving either too fast or too slow was dangerous. She’d seen two cocky motorists going thirty-five miles per hour suddenly lose control, sliding into nearby lanes. Luckily the cars behind them were traveling slow enough to avoid colliding but they’d been near misses.

Drivers who hesitated and went too slow were just as bad off. The snow on the pavement had the consistency of an eight-inch-thick Dairy Queen Blizzard. A certain amount of momentum was required to plow through the thick mess.

Esa’s eyes burned as she strained to see through the veil of the snow as it flickered back and forth from a barely translucent veil to an utterly opaque gray curtain. She turned off the traffic report as she ever so carefully navigated the ramp onto the Dan Ryan Expressway. She required every last bit of attention she possessed to manage the slippery stretch of curving road safely.

After being in Dan Ryan traffic for almost an hour she felt like screaming in frustration. There were three times as many cars there as compared to I-57. Because of the narrowed lanes due to road construction, things were ten times more dangerous.

And Esa had only to glance ahead and see the ocean of red brake lights to know that she was royally screwed. Some kind of forward acceleration was required in the rapidly accumulating snow. Once she was forced to stop she knew there was a good chance she’d be stuck.

Where the hell were the snow plows and the IDOT trucks? She’d seen so many cars marooned at this point that she’d lost track of the count.

“Damn. Plus one more,” Esa mumbled to herself. A black sedan three cars in front of her and one lane over was stuck. The driver gunned the engine in a frantic attempt to get out of the thick furrow of slippery snow. He overdid it and the car’s rear end swung crazily around, hitting a car in Esa’s lane. She braked with a pumping motion and brought her car to a dreaded stop.

In the distance she saw a lime green IDOT truck also spinning its wheels in the snow and going absolutely nowhere, blocking the newly opened express lane that Finn had let Esa drive in on Halloween night. About ten men were unsuccessfully trying to push the large truck out.

Esa rifled through her purse and found a bottle of water. She sipped it, feeling like she was viewing some kind of slapstick comedy unfolding through her front window. The ten men scattered in every direction, including upward onto the top of the truck, as a car tried to stop unsuccessfully and slid into the IDOT vehicle in slow motion.

“This has got to be one for the Chicago record books,” she muttered. All the cars she could see at this point, in every direction, had come to a standstill. They were all going to sit here helplessly while the snow buried them.

Esa set her water down hastily and reapplied the cap when she realized that chances were she wouldn’t be able to use the bathroom for hours. She flipped on the radio and learned that the state police had just officially closed the Dan Ryan due to unsafe road conditions.

“Great, Caleb. Couldn’t you have closed it
before
I got on it?” Esa muttered sourly. She picked up her cell phone, trying to decide who she should call first to complain—Carla, Rachel or her parents—when a figure running rapidly through the immobile cars caught her attention. Esa heard an outraged shout. Several people started to emerge from their cars directly in front of Esa, all of them staring at the running woman who had now reached the side of the road.

Esa unclipped her seat belt and opened her car door. Pellets of snow stung her face as she stood.

“What’s going on?” Esa shouted to the middle-aged, balding man wearing a dark blue overcoat who had also gotten out of his car directly in front of her.

“Crazy woman. She took off her kid’s clothes and was trying to bury the baby in the snow before that guy over there stopped her!”

“What
?”
Esa asked in bewilderment.

“I’m telling you it’s true. Take a look. Storm must bring out all the loonies,” the man said as he shook his head and turned back to watch the spectacle unfolding at the side of the road.

Esa closed her car door and stepped forward in the thick snow. What a mess. No wonder they were all stranded. A car couldn’t maneuver in this deep, heavy slush.

The first thought that Esa had when she saw the weeping, hysterical woman at the side of the road holding a wailing, half-naked toddler was that the man had been correct in his estimation. She
must
be having some sort of psychotic episode.