Flynn, Joyee - A Zane Po' Boy [The O'Hagan Way 3] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour ManLove) (10 page)

“No one’s ever said that,” he cried softly. “It always be
Banning fix this
, or
don’t be so hard on him, Banning
. I’m
so
tired of everything being me fault, me responsibility, me wrong.”

“It’s made you jaded and a little bitter,” I replied, finally getting it. He nodded, tears still running out of his eyes. “Time to let it go. I’m just getting to know you both, and I see this as equally each of your faults.” I slowly got off of him, standing and helping him to his feet. “But you guys need to fix this before we go any further.”

“What?” they both gasped, their eyes going wide with shock.

“Ya be punishing us?” Brian asked in sadness.

“No, far from it,” I answered, shaking my head. “I’m going to give you some time to yourselves to work this out. I can’t keep being in the middle of your issues. I won’t spend my life worrying that one of you thinks I care more for the other or having to take sides. I don’t care if you two fight it out, scream it out, or just sit down and talk. But it
has
to be hashed out before you consider bringing me into the mix. I won’t be the Band-Aid to try and fix a huge gash. It won’t work and will destroy us all.”

They both still looked shocked, but it was a different kind as if they heard me and understood what I was saying.

“What now then?” Banning asked, glancing between me and his twin.

“I’m going to get back into working out and training at the warrior compound,” I answered. I hadn’t realized I’d made that decision until now, but it was the right one. It was what I needed to do. “I need to wrap my head around a lot of things as well, decide what I want for the future, and get back on track for my job.”

They both looked scared, as if I would take off. I stepped closer to both of them, running my hands down each of their cheeks. They both leaned into my touch.

“I’m not running, I’m not leaving. We’re just taking a quick time-out while you guys work this out and I process what’s happened. You know where to find me when you’re ready, okay? This isn’t the end. It’s the best way to get past this small speed bump.”

They nodded, and I leaned down to give Banning a passionate kiss. Then I did the same for Brian. Before they could say anything, I turned and walked away, praying I knew what the fuck I was doing. This would either work or blow up in my face.

After the shitty childhood and crap in my life, I thought fate owed me one and should have it be the first option. But that was just me.

Chapter 6

Brian

I stood there with me mouth hanging open in astonishment, watching our mate walk away. I mean, he just walked away and left us like naughty children who needed to clean up their own mess. Glancing over at Banning, I winced, realizing that the analogy really wasn’t all that far off.

Zane was right. I understood the situation a whole lot better now and wasn’t surprised to realize I was wrong in that Banning still wanted me to keep begging for forgiveness. So it was good we got that settled. But then came the main issue, the one I couldn’t get over. Zane leaving us to figure out ourselves.

How did you bring up the elephant in the room without starting a major fight? Especially when that elephant was over six hundred years old and seemed to include more than just the two of us? Damn elephant.

I really just wanted to shoot the fucking thing.

“How—” I started to ask and grunted when I took a punch to the face. I felt a sharp pain that started somewhere on me left cheekbone and radiated out to the rest of me face. I gasped and took a few steps back. I leaned forward for a moment, me hands on me knees, feeling a constant pounding in me head.

Eventually it subsided slightly, and I looked up at me brother. He was standing, unmoving, his head tilted slightly to the side and his arms crossed over his chest. When he saw that I was watching him, he opened his mouth to speak.

“That be for not believing in me or trusting me over someone ya just met,” Banning growled, his fangs out.

“So we be fighting this out then?” I snorted, spitting out the blood that was in me mouth now. I wiped me mouth with the back of me hand, and then shook out me head to clear it.

“Sounds like a start to me,” Banning said with an evil smile. “Maybe I wouldn’t have had to spend the last six hundred years toeing around ya if we’d just done this in the beginning.”

“Fair enough,” I growled, letting me fangs come out as well. He wasn’t the only one with anger that had built up. I jabbed left and he ducked right, so I used me right foot to kick out, hitting him in the ribs. I heard his sharp intake of breath as he stumbled away from me. “Ya think this has been fun for me either? I couldn’t get ya to talk to me about it and it just festered. And the arrival of more brothers in the family, all close and inseparable, made it worse. Ya think they love me better? No, they
pitied
me because, no matter what I did, I couldn’t get us back to where we were.”

“See, that’s part of the problem,” he yelled, giving me a one-two combo that I could only duck the first of. The cut in me mouth had just healed and now I was bleeding again, lip split right back open. Fucker. “Ya kept trying to
force
everything. Ya came back, still didn’t talk to me, making me think ya blamed me when it not be me fault. Then all of a sudden ya are sorry and want me forgiveness and have everything go back to normal. Well, forgive the fuck out of me for not being able to switch gears that easily! Then I be the bad guy.”

“I never blamed ya for not switching gears,” I screamed, throwing me hands in the air. “I didn’t know how to help ya switch them. I tried, Banning. By god, I tried.”

“No, ya pestered me,” he said, lunging for me again. And that comment pissed me off. I spun past him and jabbed hard in his side as I went by. “
Banning, I be sorry. Banning, can’t ya forgive me yet? Banning, I was wrong.
”

“What should I have said? That’s what people say when they apologize!” I tackled him to the ground, but he was just as strong and flipped us over. The side of me head cracked painfully against the ground, and I felt blood dripping down. We rolled for several feet before he stopped and went limp.

“That ya believed in me,” he whispered, his eyes getting watery. “That ya loved me and wouldn’t leave me again.” I froze with me fist in the air, suddenly not wanting to hurt him any more than he obviously was. “Ya never say ya love me. Cesar screwed ya over, ya were hurt. I would have comforted ya in a second, pushing what I felt aside. But ya didn’t come to me. Ya went to ma so ya still didn’t want me.”

“Oh, Banning,” I gasped, never having in a million years thought he felt that way. I let me arm fall to me side. “That not be true. I just didn’t want to rub salt in the wound I caused by crying to ya that me heart be broken. That wasn’t ya burden to carry. It was mine.”

“Of course it was mine!” he snapped and shoved me off of him. Banning jumped to his feet, pissed off again. “Ya be me twin. I felt ya pain, ya idiot! And yet, I couldn’t help ya because ya wouldn’t let me. Ya still didn’t want me.”

“Ya want to know what I went crying to ma about?” I asked, trying to keep calm because one of us had to obviously. I didn’t wait for him to answer. “That I broke us and didn’t know if I could fix it. Fuck Cesar! I hated the bastard, but I loved ya. I didn’t know how to make it better.”

“Ya were?” His eyes were wide in shock. “Ya weren’t crying over the love you lost?”

“A few times, sure. But after a few months, it wasn’t about that,” I answered gently. I brushed me hand over the side of me head that had hit the ground, feeling the blood that had dried there. The cut had healed already though. “It wasn’t real love, Banning. It was a cruel joke and it hurt, but nothing compared to losing ya.”

“Ya didn’t lose me! Ya just never came back to me.”

“I tried, dammit. Ya shut me out.” We were starting to talk in circles. We needed ma here to kick both of our arses.

“Because ya always wanted me to forgive ya. I did. I forgave ya the moment ya asked and probably before. But then ya turned to ma always, and I still felt as if ya didn’t want me around.” He slumped down to his knees, looking so forlorn and lost. I couldn’t help what I did next. Maybe he’d slug me again, but I had to take the risk.

“We be idiots,” I whispered as I wrapped me arms around him. “I never meant it to be this way or hurt ya. I thought ya didn’t want me anymore either after I broke us.”

“All I wanted was me twin,” he mumbled as he hugged me back. “I just wanted ya to love me and have faith in me again, need me.”

“I’ll always need ya, Banning. And I do love ya. Ya be me twin. Zane might be our mate, but ya come first to me. And I do trust ya and have faith in ya. Why do ya think I did everything you did or wanted ever since?”

“To try and get me to forgive ya,” he grumbled, starting to pull away from me embrace.

“No,” I said firmly, shaking him. “Because I trusted ya judgment. If I had listened to you before, none of this would have happened, ya idiot!”

“Oh.”

“Aye,
oh
.” I snickered. God, were we both stupid. All these years of issues and hard feelings, and really, we created them by ignoring that damn elephant instead of talking and beating the bastard together.

He slumped against me, probably feeling as exhausted as I did from finally getting this all out in the open. “Should we go get our mate then?”

“No, give him some time. He needs to think about all of this, too, and honestly, I’d like a few days just to hang out now that we’ve beaten the elephant.”

“What elephant?” he asked as he sat back on his feet, eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

“This elephant that’s always been in the room.” I chuckled as I gestured between us. It took him a second before I saw realization dawn on his face and he smiled. Yeah, we’d be okay now. I knew it.

“Zombies?” Banning shrugged, and I wanted to laugh. When in doubt, shoot shit on the Xbox.

“Zombies sound great, me twin.” I smiled at him and stood, holding out me hand to help him to his feet. He mirrored me grin and let me. Then slung an arm over me shoulder, and that’s how we walked back to the house…together.

* * * *

Banning and I spent the week catching up. It sounded odd since we had lived together for centuries…Hell, we shared a room. But it was something we needed and we were closer than ever now.

We also talked about plans for the future. We liked America, and while we would miss home, we both agreed that we needed to stay here to make Zane happy. But where did that leave us?

We bounced around some ideas that we would need to discuss with our mate. That was the only stress we felt. Zane. We missed him something fierce, and it was a constant struggle between rushing off and dragging him back to Isaac’s house and giving him the space he asked for.

After a week, we went for a compromise. Visiting him at the warrior compound for lunch. At least that way we could talk face-to-face with him. We’d been texting, but it wasn’t the same. It was time to show our mate that things were going to be okay and pray he’d sorted out what was in his head.

Rory gave us a ride, neither of us being legally allowed to drive in this country. He was going to drop in on Isaac as well, so it worked out for all of us. Our new friend, who we liked a lot, had called his mate, and Isaac said Zane would be training in the weight room.

We followed Rory’s directions after we got there, and I for one was in for the shock of me life. I stood there, struck stupid as I’m sure Banning was.

Water, water everywhere, but now we were mated! There were dozens of hot, shirtless, sweaty warriors, or warriors-to-be, still in training, all over the place. I mean, me god, it was just a sea of yummy muscled flesh.

“Fuck me,” I gasped quietly, drinking it all in. I might have found me mate, but I wasn’t dead. I could appreciate the view.

“I’d love to, baby,” a man purred as he moved up to me side. I stepped back in surprise. He was tall and tan and I could see sweat dripping off his bulging muscles. He was hot…so hot, and he was saying something else now. I shook me head and tried to focus. “But I have a feeling you’re here to see someone already.”