Following Flora (8 page)

“Are you seeing Jake?” she asked. “Shall we all do something together?”

I said Jake was still at his grandparents', and Dodi said, “No, he's back.” And then her voice went a bit funny and she said, “Didn't you know that?” and even though we were on the phone I blushed, and said no I didn't but it didn't matter.

“He's been back since Boxing Day,” Dodi said. “I spoke to Colin last night. I can't believe he hasn't called you.”

“We're not really like that,” I said, but I couldn't really believe it either.

“You're his
girlfriend
,” Dodi said. “What you need to do is call him up
right now
to tell him he can't treat you like that. On second thought, don't do that, it makes you sound a bit desperate.
I'll
call him.”

I held the phone away from my ear and looked at it. Dodi carried on talking. I don't think she even noticed I wasn't listening.

“I never even wanted to go out with Jake in the first place,” I told her.

“Well, why did you then?” she asked.

“Because you told me to. You're always telling me what to do.”

“Only because you can never decide anything for yourself.”

I hung up on her. She called right back, but I ignored her.

It seems quite astonishing to me that Flora and I both have boyfriends who are ignoring us, but at least Zach has the excuse of his mad mother. Jake's just being rude.

I read a load more of
Jane Eyre
today, and what I think is this: if Jane Eyre, who was a weed, could stand up to Mr. Rochester, who was rich and powerful, at a time when women were supposed to be meek and never complain, then I can stand up to Jake and ask him what is going on.

THE SAGA OF BLUEBELL AND JAKE
HEARTBREAKS AND MILK SHAKES

DAY, EXTERIOR, ABOUT THREE O'CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON.

BLUE, carefully attired in a black skinny jeans (her own), a silvery sequin jumper (borrowed from Dodi long ago and worn under her orders), duffle coat, her Santa badge, and one of Flora's hats, shelters at a bus stop in front of Jake's house, waiting for him to come out.

The front door opens. Jake emerges. Blue breaks into a discreet run and catches up with him.

BLUE

(masterful, though inwardly quaking)

Let's go for a coffee?

 

JAKE

(looking terrified)

Er.

 

BLUE

(still displaying a strength she does not feel)

Excellent. Let's go to Home Sweet Home.

 

Cut to interior, Home Sweet Home.
Blue and Jake sit at a table by the window. She (being sophisticated) has a cappuccino. He has ordered a chocolate milk shake.

BLUE

(presenting a gift-wrapped package)

This is your Christmas present. It took me ages to find it. I hope you like it.

 

JAKE

(not looking at her, mumbling so hard he is virtually incomprehensible)

I can't go out with you anymore.

 

BLUE

(plowing on)

I bought it because I know you love the
X-Men
films and it reminded me of when we went to the cinema. You know, with Colin and Tom.

 

JAKE

(as above)

When I was in Australia at my auntie's wedding I met my cousin's best friend Talullah and fell in love with her. I felt really bad because of you, and so I tried to forget about her and make it work with you, but then I found out she was coming over for the holidays. They were the Australian friends who came to stay with us before Christmas. After us, they went to stay with Gran. That's why I left London early, to go and see her. She has gone back to Australia now, but I still love her and I don't want to lie to you anymore. I'm sorry.

 

BLUE

(shakily)

I can't believe you didn't tell me before.

 

JAKE

I didn't mean for it to happen. As soon as we arrived in Melbourne we drove out to the beach to look at the penguins and Talullah was there. Ever since I've been very confused.

 

BLUE

I love penguins.

 

JAKE

So does Talullah.

 

BLUE

I suppose I'd better go then.

(hesitates)

You can keep the present.

 

She rises slowly and walks away feeling crushed and humiliated. At the door, she turns one last time with tears in her eyes. Jake is already talking on his phone. Blue, feeling like she is in a real movie, strides back across the café to the table where Jake sits.

BLUE

Are you talking to her?

JAKE

What? No! Of course not, it's nighttime in Australia!

 

Blue carefully takes back the comics. She removes the badge and puts it down where the comics were. And then she picks up Jake's milk shake and empties it over his head.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 30

I forgot I was cross with Dodi. The first thing I did when I left the café was call her to tell her what I'd done.

“His milk shake?” Dodi repeated. “All over his head? Oh, I'm so proud of you!”

I've never heard her laugh so hard at anything.

I think it's the most outrageous thing I have ever done in my entire life. In fact, I think it may be the
only
outrageous thing I've ever done, and it felt fantastic
.
I ran almost the whole way home. It was raining really hard and I didn't have an umbrella, but I didn't care. It could have been hailing golf balls and I wouldn't have noticed.

My mood changed as I got wetter and colder. I passed the cemetery where Jas found the kittens and went in. I found Violet Buttercream's grave and Jas was right, it is a nice place to sit. “I should be crying,” I told myself. The rain fell harder and the light grew dimmer. I was freezing by now. I thought really hard about how my heart had been broken into a thousand tiny pieces, but still the tears didn't come, because what I mainly felt was angry.

All that time wasted thinking about Jake when he wasn't ever thinking about me. He used to be my
friend.
He should never have lied to me.

Jas was sitting at the kitchen table doing homework when I got in. I put the kettle on for tea, then sank onto the sofa and sighed.

In the proper film of my life, this would have been the moment when they play soulful music with a close-up of me gazing moodily out of the window looking brave. The moment when everything is about to change. An
important
moment.

Jas didn't even look up from her books.

“Jake and I have split up,” I told her.

Jas sighed, gathered up her papers, and stomped upstairs.

I followed her. On the landing outside our bedrooms, Grandma was lecturing Twig on the rules of football indoors.

“The ball should
not
be muddy,” Grandma scolded.

“But I
like
mud,” Twig replied.

“I've split up with Jake,” I said, but neither of them replied because at that moment Flora stole the limelight as usual, and started screaming on the phone downstairs.

“I don't care about my exams!” Flora shouted. “I want to be an actress and get as far away from my life as possible!”

We all crept down to see what was going on. She was standing in the hall, dripping water everywhere because she doesn't have an umbrella either, yelling at Mum on her phone because she just learned that she got the part she auditioned for weeks ago, but Mum won't let her do it because the play opens right in the middle of Flora's exams.

“WELL I DON'T EXACTLY APPROVE OF YOU HAVING A BABY!” Flora was yelling, which is when Grandma took her phone.

“I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS END, CASSIE!”
Grandma shouts even louder than normal when she's on the phone. “THE MOST IMPORTANT THING RIGHT NOW IS FOR YOU TO STAY CALM!”

After she had hung up, Grandma gave us all a lecture. With Mum in the state she's in, Grandma says, we must be model children. “That means NO SHOUTING,” she said. “No mud, no stomping, no moping over boyfriends.”

“Actually,” I said, “I am not moping over him. If anyone ever listened to me . . .”

“And no interrupting,” said Grandma, and told us all to go away while she gave some serious thought to what she was going to do with us because it was obvious we all needed a distraction.

I went down to find her in her room when the others had all gone to bed, and told her about Jake and the milk shake. Her reaction was almost exactly the same as Dodi's. She said it was the funniest thing she'd ever heard and she had never been more proud of me. Then she said that Jake was a snake, a rat, and a scoundrel, and asked me if I was very upset.

I thought about my answer very carefully. “I
am
upset,” I said. “But not as much as I think I should be. Mainly I just feel really, really stupid.”

Grandma said Jake was the one who was stupid, preferring anyone to her granddaughter, and then she started to chuckle and said, “Oh to have been a fly on the wall at the Home Sweet Home when you threw the milk shake.” I just heard her go into the bathroom, and she was still laughing.

Going out with someone because you feel a bit sorry for them is a
really bad idea.
Next year is going to be different, I've decided. Next year I am only going to do things I actually want to do.

 

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31

WHOLESOME EXERCISE is what Grandma has decided to do with us, and so today she marched us all over to Jas's stables for a riding lesson.

We found Gloria huddled over a gas fire in the tack room going through a wad of papers with a calculator on her knee.

“Bills,” Flora whispered. “Red ones.”

Gloria sighed when she saw us and explained that if we were good enough she would take us for a ride on the common, but that for our first day we had to pass a test to make sure it was safe and the first thing we should do was tack up the horses. She showed us which ponies we were riding, and then the phone rang and she marched back to the tack room and left us with water dripping down our necks, because obviously it was still raining, clutching saddles and reins and wondering which bits went where.

“You heard her,” Grandma said. “Get on with it.”

“I have no idea what to do,” Twig said.

“You are here to learn,” Grandma said.

“I know what to do,” Jas said.

“This is a terrible place,” Flora announced.

“It's a community project,” Grandma corrected her. “It was set up to help children in need.”

“Are we children in need?” asked Twig.

“I am,” Flora grumbled under her breath. “In need of dry clothes, a boyfriend who calls me back, and a grandmother who isn't insane.”

As far as the riding went, we were all hopeless except Jas. The only lessons we have ever had before have been with Grandma and boil down to GO FASTER AND DON'T FALL OFF, but Gloria has a different approach. She made us practice all sorts of exercises like figure eight and changing reins and other stuff none of us understood, first walking, then trotting, until our legs ached and our brains were completely confused.

“I thought that was quite fascinating,” Grandma said, when the lesson was over.

“I'm afraid I can't come back,” Flora told Gloria firmly. “I'm doing my finals in the summer and I have to study really, really hard.”

Twig, who fell off more times than anybody else, said that now he was playing on a team he really had to focus on his football. I wanted to say I couldn't come either, because I have decided that I really,
really
don't like horses, but I didn't want to disappoint Grandma, and also I remembered the calculator and the papers and the way Gloria sighed when we arrived. So instead I said I would love to come back next weekend with Jas and join her regular lesson.

Flora checked her phone again on the way home, but there were still no messages from Zach.

“Do you think he's had an accident?” Jas asked.

“Maybe he fell under a train.” Twig was on my laptop looking at train timetables online. I know for a fact he finds trains really, really boring, but Maisie has asked him to babysit her little brother again on Monday after school starts, and Twig is determined to impress the kid with his extensive knowledge. Dodi, who is fascinated by Twig's love life, says surely he must realize how Maisie is using him, but Twig swears she's not like that.

“Maybe he was standing on a railway bridge,” Twig said now, “and it was raining, and he leaned over a bit too much and slipped under the four twenty-three from Paddington.”

“Could that happen?” Jas looked horrified.

“I think it's quite unlikely,” I said. “And I'm sure Zoran would have told us.”

“CAN YOU PLEASE ALL STOP TALKING ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND LIKE HE'S DEAD?” Flora yelled.

“Loads of people fall under trains,” Twig said.

Jas said Twig's new hobby was horrible and that Maisie Carter wasn't even pretty. Twig said she was. Jas said she wasn't. Twig said anyway, it was none of her business. Jas said he was making it her business by being so annoying. Flora said that if they didn't shut up she'd push them both under the nearest train.

 

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 1: NEW YEAR'S DAY

It's half past midnight, and it's a brand-new year.

Flora did go out with Tamsin in the end. They went into town to see the fireworks. Dodi's staying over. She said Colin had invited her to his parents' annual New Year's Eve party, but she didn't go because she knew Jake was going to be there. Grandma ordered Chinese takeout and baked a three-layer red velvet cake with cream cheese vanilla and ginger icing, and we ate the whole thing in front of the TV watching the countdown, while Jas tried to teach the kittens to ride my old skateboard. The list of things Jas is trying to teach the kittens is growing longer by the day. So far, they have failed to learn to come when they are called, to only do their business in the litter box, not to climb up curtains, and to sit on command.

“They're a lot less trainable than the rats,” Jas complained. “I could get them to do almost anything.”

Personally, I thought skateboarding was overly ambitious, but Twig found a sort of solution by putting Hermione on the board when she was asleep and launching her across the room before she could wake up. It didn't last very long, because she was awake within about half a second and flew from skateboard to beneath the sofa so fast she was almost just a blur, but it
was
funny. Jas said that it wasn't proper training at all, but even she laughed.

 

FRIDAY, JANUARY 3

Mum and Dad came home last night. Dad took Grandma to the station early this morning, but her leaving has been completely overshadowed by what has happened to Flora.

Mum and Flora both went back to bed after Grandma left, so only Twig, Jas, and I were up when the post arrived with a letter for Flora.

It came in a bright green envelope which was posted in Glasgow, and we all had a good look at it because it's quite rare for any of us to get actual mail. Then when Flora finally got up, we crowded onto the landing to watch as she picked it up from the table in the hall.

“Perhaps it's from Zach,” whispered Jas.

“It's from
Scotland
,” said Twig.

“Shh!” I said. Down beneath us, Flora had opened the envelope and was standing stock-still, reading. When she finished, she leaned against the wall, staring into nothing. Then she read it again.

“Do you think it
is
from Zach?” Jas insisted.

“Do you really think Zach would send a letter in a bright green envelope?” I asked.