Following Your Heart (15 page)

How old was this girl? And what would Deacon Ray think about him? Not that it mattered, but still…the whole community could end up laughing when they found out. Well, let them laugh. He needed a wife even if she had once been an
Englisha
girl. Would not an Amish baptism, with a little training, and a decent dress make all the difference in the world?

He slapped the reins.
Yah
, it would, and Deacon Ray would even be thankful for his help if Thomas Stoll had things straight. Settling back into the buggy seat, Yost allowed the cool winter air to flow over his face. He pulled the buggy blanket up to beard level. The miles passed as he drove ever further south, turning left several times on the gravel roads. His horse's head was drooping when he took the buggy into Deacon Ray's lane and rattled to a stop by the barn.

Thankfully there was still a light in the barn, so perhaps this would be even easier than he'd imagined. He wouldn't have to go calling at the house where everyone could hear him ask about the
Englisha
woman. Climbing out of the buggy, Yost tied the horse to the hitching post and shuffled toward the barn. Pushing open the barn door, he looked in and saw the surprised look on James's face when the boy looked up from shoveling out the last of the gutters from the evening milking.

“
Gut
evening,” Yost offered.

“
Gut
evening,” James said, continuing his work. “What brings you all the way down here?”

“I need to speak with your
daett
,” Yost said, stepping inside. “Is he still out here?”

“
Nee
, he's gone into the house,” James said, pausing to look at him. “Shall I tell him you're here? Or do you wish to speak with him in the house?”

“Ah, if you could call him, that would be nice,” Yost said. “I wish to speak with him in private.”

“Then I'll finish this and head into the house,” James responded with a smile.

“That would be
gut
,” Yost said, his hand on the barn door.

James was still looking at him. “Is one of your cows down?” he asked.

“
Nee
,” Yost said.

James knew good and well his cows weren't down, but the boy would just have to remain curious. James wasn't even dating a girl, so what did he know about marriage? And this was none of his business anyway.

“I see,” James said, placing the manure shovel against the barn wall. “I'll go call
Daett
then.”

Yost watched James stride across the lawn. At the house, the outside door slammed, followed by silence. Yost stayed by the door, listening to the soft stirring of the barn life around him. He kept an eye on the faint outline of the house. A rat poked its head out from under the manger, looked in his direction, its long whiskers casting dark shadows across the concrete floor. When Yost stamped his foot, the creature dashed out of sight, only to appear on the other side of the manger before scurrying off into the darkness.

The door slammed at the house, and Yost jumped, moving away from the barn door. It would not be
gut
if Deacon Ray thought him too eager, like a young boy taking his girl home for the first time. He took a deep breath and waited.

Moments later, Deacon Ray stepped into the barn.

“James said you wanted me,” he said, closing the door behind him.

“
Yah
,” Yost said. “I need to speak with you about a matter.”

“I see. Have you been breaking the
Ordnung?
” A smile played on Deacon Ray's face.

Yost ignored the tease, rubbing the toe of his shoe on the concrete floor.

“
Nee
, it is about the
Englisha
woman,” he said.

“I see.” Deacon Ray's voice was hesitant. “And how does the decision the ministers made concern you?”

“Oh no,” Yost said. “I would not be speaking against the ministers. I was thinking you might be looking for an easy way out of this problem, as the
Englisha
woman apparently has no plans to leave anytime soon.”

“Really?” Deacon Ray said. “So now you have instructions for the ministry?”

“Well, it's like this,” Yost said. “Will you be able to keep her away from the meetings for years to come? And how will this look to the people? Menno and Anna are quite up-building members, you know. Their word might begin to have an effect.”

Deacon Ray shrugged. “I see you have a point, but we already knew this.”

“And have you men come up with a way of solving this problem?” Yost probed.

“
Nee
. But we're still talking.”

“Then perhaps you would be willing to listen to my way of taking care of this problem,” Yost said.

“You have an answer?” Deacon Ray said, astonishment on his face.

“I wish to marry the woman,” Yost said. There was no sense in beating around the bush. He might as well just come out and say the words.

“You wish to take this woman as your wife?” Deacon Ray gasped.

“If she is willing to have me,” Yost said, his shoe circling in the dirt on the floor again.

“Then you have spoken to her of this?” Deacon Ray was staring at him now.

Yost shook his head. “I have come to speak to you first. And you know why.”

“Yah.”
Deacon Ray ran his hand over his beard. “I see that you are a wise man, even if you cannot find a wife.”

“
Da Hah
has not seen to bless me now for these many years,” Yost protested. “Am I to be blamed if I take what He does offer?”

“So you see this woman as a blessing from
Da Hah?
”

“If I choose to see it so, would you hold it against me?” Yost shot back.

“But what if she leaves you, even after the vows have been said? Have you thought of this?”

“I had not thought of that,” Yost admitted. “But I have thought of other things, and my mind is made up. If you approve of this, I will speak with Menno about this matter, and he can speak with the woman.”

“If the
Englisha
girl leaves you, do you understand what that means?” Deacon Ray asked, wanting to make sure his point was made. “You could never marry again, Yost.”

“Is that worse than what I have now? Do you see a woman who wishes to live with me?”

Deacon Ray chuckled. “
Nee
, I do not. And I am sorry for laughing. I guess it is not that funny,” he said, noting the look on Yost's face.

“
Nee
, it's not funny,” Yost agreed. “Not to the one living without a wife.”

“You know I will need to speak with the ministers on this matter,” Deacon Ray said. “This is a grave question and may take some consideration.”

Yost shook his head. “There will be no speaking on the matter. We all know that when it comes to such hard things as this, Bishop Henry depends on you. He will agree with what you decide.”

“But he has a mind of his own. Surely you know that,” Deacon Ray corrected.

Yost nodded. “
Yah
, but I have said enough. Do you agree to allow me to speak with Menno at least?”

“I must think on this,” Deacon Ray said. “You are catching me by surprise. But what if we should agree to this and the girl agrees to marry you, and then she changes her mind after she has been baptized? What kind of shape would that leave us in? An unwed Amish woman living in the community with no one to wed—at least no one she finds acceptable.”

Yost scratched his beard. “I hadn't thought of that,” he admitted. Seconds later his face lit up. “Perhaps she would agree to marry me on her baptismal day. That would solve your problem, would it not?”

“Perhaps,” Deacon Ray admitted. “But you cannot require this of her.”

Yost went back to scratching his beard.

“It's not like she will have much of a wedding anyway,” Yost finally said. “She has no parents in the community to give her one. So I think it would be worth asking her if she will do this. Would that not ease your mind greatly?”

“
Yah
, it would,” Deacon Ray said. “This is a grave matter of concern to the church. And if this causes further disunity amongst us, then you know where that could lead.”

Yost's face brightened. “Then I may speak with Menno? You are agreeing to this?”

“
Yah
,” Deacon Ray allowed. “And may
Da Hah
give you an answer of peace. Perhaps if all goes well, this may bring peace for all of us.”

“I will go then.” Yost turned to walk toward his buggy. He untied his horse, climbing into the buggy even as he slapped the reins against his horse's back.

T
eresa was holding baby Samuel on the couch, tracing her finger across his cheek until a broad smile broke over his face.
Mamm
watched from her rocker, finally laying aside the weekly copy of
The Budget
she was reading to get to her feet.

“I'll hold him for a bit,”
Mamm
offered. “That is, if you want to do something yet before bedtime. We've worked you pretty hard today, and now the baby wants your attention.”

“I feel all tired and happy at the same time, so don't worry about the work,” Teresa said as she handed over Samuel. “But perhaps I could walk outside. The stars are so beautiful. We don't get much of a chance to see them this way in the city.”

“I'll come with you,” Susan said, appearing in the kitchen doorway. She took their coats out of the front closet, slipped hers on, and handed the other one to Teresa.

As they stepped outside, Susan took in the sweep of the sky. “It's so beautiful.”

“The stars are so bright and twinkling,” Teresa said. “Can we see them even better away from the house?”

“You can see more of them, but they don't get much brighter,” Susan said, following Teresa across the lawn.

“Is that a star over there toward the road?” Teresa asked, pointing.

Susan laughed. “That's a buggy coming. Probably some boy out snooping around where he shouldn't.”

“Perhaps it's that boyfriend of yours coming to see you,” Teresa suggested. “Should I go back inside so you can speak with him in private?”

“Stay right where you are!” Susan ordered. “Thomas doesn't have that much nerve. And if he does, I want you with me to help throw cold water on his plans.”

“I can't do that.” Teresa giggled. “I don't know how to speak with Amish men.”

“They talk like everyone else,” Susan said. “So don't worry about that. They can understand you.”

Standing still in the yard, the two watched the approaching lights. Soon the sound of horse hooves in the gravel reached their ears. Susan took Teresa's hand and pulled her toward the barn. “Let's hide in case the buggy pulls in here.”

“I'm not hiding,” Teresa said, standing firm. “You think it's about me, don't you? Well, if it is, there's no sense in making it worse by hiding.”

“The buggy is coming to our house. There's no time to hide anyway.”

“Then we'll meet what comes out in the open,” Teresa said.

They waited as the buggy clattered into the lane and came to a stop near them. The door slid open. The interior was too dark to see the occupant. The horse snorted. “It's not Thomas or Deacon Ray,” Susan whispered. “I don't recognize the horse.”

“
Gut
evening,” a man's voice said from the buggy.

“
Gut
evening,” Susan replied.

Teresa said nothing but pulled her coat tightly around herself.

A man's pant leg came out of the buggy, followed by the rest of him, his back turned to them while he climbed down the steps. He turned, his bearded face now visible in the dim buggy lights.