Following Your Heart (19 page)

“Is
he
here today?” Teresa asked as they went into the kitchen.

“Who?” Susan responded without thinking.

“You know who!” Teresa whispered back.

“Oh…” Susan said. “Here I've been in my own little world all day and I nearly forgot about him.
Nee
, he's not here. I promise we'll stay away from the men's table.”

Teresa's face fell. “I was hoping I would see him,” she said. “But I didn't dare look very hard. Maybe I wouldn't recognize his face anyway, since I only saw him that night in the dark.”

“You know you don't have to marry him,” Susan reminded.

“And leave instead?” Teresa said. “Do you want me to do that?”

“Of course not!” Susan said. “But this just isn't fair.”

“It'll be worth it in the end,” Teresa said. “I did hope to see him today. Does he look much different than the rest? I think they all start to look the same after a while. Maybe it's the beards.”

Susan laughed for a second and then pulled on Teresa's arm. “Come! They need help at the tables.”

Teresa shrugged and followed her. Entering the kitchen, Susan guided Teresa to the counter where two girls were dishing peanut butter into smaller bowls.

“We'll take some,” Susan told them. “Which table?”

“The boys' table,” one of the girls said. “The women's and the men's are taken care of right now.”

“Oh…” Susan paused before she turned to Teresa. “Here, take these.” She turned back to fill her hands again. With Teresa behind her, Susan led the way down the basement steps.

“Where are we going?” Teresa asked, taking her time on the steps.

“To the boys' table,” Susan said.

Teresa was silent, balancing peanut butter bowls with care.

“Hi, Susan,” several of the boys greeted when they arrived. Susan ignored them, leaning between their shoulders to exchange the peanut butter bowls.

“We need bread over here,” a boy hollered from the end of the table.

“I only have so many hands!” Susan retorted.

“I think everyone has forsaken us down here,” a skinny boy said. “How are we to get enough food if no one serves us?”

“I guess you can go get some yourself,” Susan said to roars of laughter from around the table.

Teresa followed Susan's example, leaning in between the boys' shoulders and coming out with empty peanut butter bowls.

The girl was
gut
at most everything. There was no doubt about that, Susan decided.

“We'll be back with more food for you poor starving creatures,” Susan told them.

Laughter rose again.

On the way upstairs, they met two girls coming down, their hands filled with more peanut butter in bowls.

“I think they need bread and cheese,” Susan mentioned while passing.

“They're trying to find more people to help,” one of the girls said. “They're a little shorthanded right now.”

“Do we have to go back down there again?” Teresa asked at the top of the stairs.

“
Yah
,” Susan said. “As long as they need help with the food.”

“Who was the boy sitting beside that lover boy of yours?” Teresa asked.

“Teresa!” Susan said. “Don't talk like that about Thomas—especially here.”

“Sorry,” Teresa said.

“That was Deacon Ray's son,” Susan said. “His name is James. Why?”

“He was looking at me like I was a ghost or something. Do I look awful? Can they see I'm not Amish? I mean…I prayed to God last night—really hard, that I would look exactly like the rest of you.”

“You look just fine,” Susan said, her eyes traveling up and down Teresa's outfit. “You look exactly like the perfect Amish girl. So ignore the boys however they look at you.”

Back in the kitchen they filled their hands with plates of bread and cheese, traversing the basement steps again. The other girls had completed their transfers and were waiting at the bottom of the steps for Susan and Teresa to pass.

“I see someone has mercy on us,” the skinny boy said as the girls approached the tables again. “I've only had one piece of bread so far, and they're going to chase us off the table soon.”

“Then you'd better be stuffing your mouth right quick,” Susan told him as she handed him a piece of bread.

Again laughter filled the space around them.

Susan placed another bread plate on the table and motioned for Teresa to place her bread and cheese in the middle of the table before moving to the other end. When she returned, she saw Teresa standing with her eyes cast down, her hands clasped in front of her.

Looking across the table, Susan saw James staring at Teresa, his dark eyes intense, his eyebrows pulled downward.

“Come,” she whispered in Teresa's ear, taking her arm.

To the creaks of the stairs they made their way back up, meeting the two girls waiting at the top, their hands filled with platters again.

“I'll be right back down,” Susan told them.

“I'm not going back down there,” Teresa whispered. “I'll go take care of Samuel.”

“That's a good idea,” Susan assured her. “It wasn't nice of James to be looking at you like that.”

“Do I look so sinful?” Teresa asked, tears welling up.

“You look like a very
gut
Amish woman,” Susan said, squeezing her arm. “Don't let a boy's stare scare you off so easily.”

Filling her hands again, Susan made her way back to the basement door, passing the two girls at the top of the stairs. They nodded as they passed. Thomas and James were engaged in deep conversation, their heads together when Susan arrived. Looking up, a soft, hopeful smile broke across Thomas's face. Susan looked away. With her head held high, she deposited the bread plate and peanut butter bowl at the other end of the table, returning to the top of the stairs just as Bishop Henry's voice vibrated through the house. “If we have all eaten now, let us give thanks.” Susan paused as the people in the house quieted.

Bishop Henry's voice continued from the living room. “And now we give thanks, oh mighty God, for what we have eaten. As our bodies have been strengthened, so let our spirits also be strengthened by Your great mercy and grace. Be with us through this coming week, and keep us from evil. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

As the women began moving around in the kitchen again, Susan took one of the bowls filled with soapy water and washcloths set out on the counter, following the two girls back down to the basement. The last of the boys' backs were disappearing out the door. Their knives and forks were strewn everywhere, and drips of peanut butter and beet juice dotted the table.

Beginning at the end, Susan washed each utensil and glass, wiping the area clean before setting everything back where it belonged. One of the girls brought a water pitcher and refilled the washed glasses.

“So how's it like to be back home again?” the oldest of the girls asked.

“Oh,
gut
,” Susan said, smiling. Both of them were too young for boyfriends. They were obviously curious about the world she'd lived in. The less said about that time, the better.

“So you really lived in New Jersey?” The question came with a quick glance over the shoulder at the basement stairs.

“
Yah
,” Susan said. “With the sister of the woman I cleaned house for in Livonia.”

“Are there Amish people living there?”

“I saw two couples once,” Susan said, “on the day the town had a festival.”

Behind her the basement door slammed, admitting the first of a long stream of younger boys for the next table setting.

“Then there were only
Englisha
people living in the town?” the older girl asked, her eyes large. Obviously she already knew and must be wanting to confirm her information.

“It was a big city,” Susan replied, not really answering the question as she held up her hand to the onrushing line of young boys. “We're not quite ready yet.”

“But we're
hungry
!” the first boy in line insisted. “You have some places clean.”

“I'll sit anywhere,” the one behind him seconded.

“Then help yourself,” Susan said, motioning toward the places behind her with a wave of her hand.

When all the places were clean and set, Susan carried the dirty bowls of water to the basement sink where she and the eldest girl emptied them.

“What is it like to live amongst the
Englisha
people?” the girl asked in a whisper.

“Very different,” Susan said, “but you kind of get used to it.”

The girl's eyes got even bigger. Susan led the way upstairs, placing her empty bowls on the counter. She fled into the living room, where she found Teresa holding baby Samuel. They were surrounded by older women.

“Give Samuel to
Mamm
,” Susan said, bending over to whisper in Teresa's ear. “We get to go eat now.”

“Oh!” Teresa said. “I hadn't thought about eating.”

“Well, you should think about yourself more,” Susan advised, waiting until Teresa got up before guiding her over to where
Mamm
sat on the couch. Wordlessly
Mamm
held out her arms, and Teresa handed her the baby. With Susan at Teresa's side, they moved toward the girls' table. They had just seated themselves when Bishop Henry made the announcement for prayer and led out.

“My first Amish church meal,” Teresa whispered when the prayer was done. “What do I do? I've been watching the tables, and I still have no idea.”

Susan smiled. “You take a piece of bread, spread butter on it, and then add the peanut butter. In between bites you chew on the cheese or red beets, whichever fits your fancy. And coffee is either while you're eating or afterward.”

“I'm going to be a real Amish woman yet,” Teresa asserted, spreading butter on her bread eagerly.

T
he late afternoon sun shone through the living room windows, sending long shadows across the thick, homemade rugs covering the hardwood floors. Deacon Ray sat in his rocker, reading the week's edition of
The Budget
while eating from his bowl of popcorn.

“
Daett
!” James called, coming out of the upstairs doorway. “So what's up with this
Englisha
woman?”

“Nothing is ‘up' really. Why? Did you notice her in church today?”

“
Yah
,” James said. “She was serving tables with Susan.”

“That's
gut
,” Deacon Ray said. “Thankfully the Hostetlers are teaching her how to work.”

“Is this true about her planned wedding with Yost Byler?” James asked.

“You shouldn't worry your head about the
Englisha
woman,” Deacon Ray said. “You have your own troubles with girls, I should say. What happened with that Geauga County girl you were interested in?”

“Rose?” James frowned.

“Whatever her name was,” Deacon Ray said. “I can't keep track with how fast you keep putting them through. Maybe you should think about settling down soon.”

“I'm still young,
Daett
,” he said. “You know that.”

“Perhaps, but soon the
gut
ones will be gone, James. You know they don't keep lying around if no one picks them up.”

“Thomas said I could take Eunice off his hands,” James offered.

Deacon Ray laughed. “I see he's not offering Susan.”

“
Nee
,” James said. “But that would be a catch now, wouldn't it?”

“Are you doubting yourself, James?” Deacon Ray looked up from his popcorn. “Perhaps you'd be the one to tame her down. It sure looks like Thomas hasn't been able to. The girl is an unsightly mess, the way she trotted around the
Englisha
world. And now she's brought home this unwed woman with a child. Thankfully for all of us, Yost is interested in marrying the
Englisha
. Of course, even then the woman might up and leave. I noticed Yost wasn't in church today. He probably doesn't want to scare her away.”