For Kicks (10 page)

“And miss the launch party?” The amber flecks in his hazel eyes glinted in the light.

“What launch party?”

“The Kicks launch. Isn’t that why you’re in LA then?” Logan ripped into a seedy wheat roll.

“They’ll have a higher-up Mendelssohn’s representative there, but not me.”

“Then you can go with me.”

“No.”

“Yes. These parties are fun, and you’ll love all the people watching. And don’t say people will get the wrong idea. You’re a part of this project and it’s fitting you’d be there. Besides, I have to go. There’s no point in going home if I won’t be there.”

“Because my world revolves around your comings and goings.” Breeze pushed her braid over her shoulder.

“I wish. But I won’t be able to go home until after the party. Once you’re home, you’ll be taking some time off and we can do some fun things. Windsurfing in the gorge, head to the beach, maybe do some sea kayaking.”

“Logan, it’s not going to happen. It’s nothing against you. I don’t have physical relationships. And since that’s all you want, it’s not going to happen.”

“You think I would do all this, just to get laid?”

That was the part she didn’t understand. Why would he go to all this trouble and expense just for her? “You were a professional athlete. By nature you hate to lose.”

He smirked. “Yes, I would hate to lose you. But more than that, I’d hate for you to lose yourself.”

“I got you something.” Just inside the entry to their room, Logan released her hand and continued to his bedroom. Refusing to follow, Breeze laid her handbag on the table and crossed to the bank of windows.

She didn’t want to know what he’d gotten for her. Didn’t want to have to fight him anymore. But she didn’t want to do anything she’d regret every day for the rest of her life.

He’d nearly pushed her over the edge. His words from earlier haunted her.
“I’m going to make you beg.”
She could see how that might happen. If she were anyone else.

The sound of rushing water perked her attention, but she fisted her hands and held back the curiosity. She couldn’t go to bed with him, so there was no point even setting foot in his bedroom.

Instead, she stared out the windows at the starry lights of the city, mirroring the points of light shining down from the universe. She’d never thought much about Kentucky before, but from now on whenever she did, she’d smile, forever holding it as a happy memory.

Unless she slipped up and ruined her life.

The water shut off and soft instrumental music began to waft through the room. The romance of the moment swirled around her. He couldn’t be more perfect, for anyone but her.

Tears prickled the backs of her eyes and she willed herself to be strong. This was only a seduction for him. It was more than that to her. Too much more.

“Come see,” he spoke softly, crossing the room and offering her a hand.

“I can’t have sex with you.” She sounded technical, matter-of-fact. Why did it make him smile wider?

“No problem. We’ll be making love all night. Stop before it gets around to sex.”

“I’m not joking, Logan. I’m just not a sexual person.” She tried to sound offhand, casual. Until meeting him her lethargic libido had been an asset, not a liability. Now she wished she weren’t so physically vulnerable.

“So you’ve had sex?” he asked slowly.

“Yes,” she answered curtly, too quickly, her stomach churning faster and faster.

He reached for her hand. “Tell me about it.”

“I’d rather not.” She pulled her hand from his grasp. The view promised no escape. Looking down, she saw the asphalt-covered roof of the restaurant between the buildings. She couldn’t even jump to safety.

Her heart pounded faster, threatening to leap out of her chest. She didn’t want to go back there, especially not with Logan. She couldn’t bear if he thought less of her because of what had happened.

Suddenly he was behind her, his palms running up and down her bare arms, soothing the goose bumps that had risen at the painful memory. Her breath quickened.

“Please?” he barely whispered.

“No,” she managed. Closing her eyes, she leaned her forehead against the cool windowpane. The chill felt good against her feverish skin, almost as good as his warm hands.

He leaned closer, brushing his lips against her neck. She tilted her head to the side and he nuzzled in closer. She tried to breathe, tried to fight all the sensations swelling in her. His stubble prickled her hypersensitive skin as he rested his cheek to her neck.

“Did someone hurt you?”

“What?” She shrugged him off. “No, nothing like that.” She raised her palms to the glass, pressing her heated flesh to the coldness.

“Breeze, I’m sure you are making this worse than it is. If you weren’t careful, then you can get tested, and we’ll be careful—”

She spun around. “You’re not going to drop this, are you?” Her jaw set so hard her teeth ached.

“No, there is something there. It eats at you, and I want to make it stop.”

She balled her hands into fists, her fingernails digging into her palms. “To satisfy some kind of morbid curiosity?” she threw at him, her breath catching in her throat.

His gaze remained soft as he stepped closer. He reached for her hands, pulling them to him and unfurling her fingers one by one. “I like you, even when you don’t want me to. And I want you to like me…and trust me enough to tell me anything.”

“Trust you? The guy who tricked me into sharing a hotel room? The one who promised not to make any moves I didn’t want?” He winced at her words. She let out the breath she hadn’t realized she held. “It’s not you.” She released herself from his grip and stepped away from him. “I don’t talk about it, ever. It was a stupid mistake. Not everyone has some beautiful memory of their first time. We used protection, there’s nothing you need to know.” She studied the carpet for patterns.

“There’s some reason why you get so worked up.” He reached for her again, but she recoiled from his touch like she’d been bitten.

“Fine.” She huffed, nodding furiously. “You want me to paint you a picture? He wore me down. Just like you’re doing. I was tired of listing all the reasons why not. He was always respectful, said he understood. But that night his parents had split up and he seemed listless. Lost. I thought it would comfort him.”

She shook her head and continued, her eyes glazing over and losing focus. “It was over almost before it began. He fumbled and prodded so much I doubt it technically happened, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I didn’t complain. He drove me home without a word. If only he’d stayed silent.

“I knew something was wrong when he didn’t call on Saturday or on Sunday. By Monday morning it was all over school. People were hissing at me in the halls, chanting Easy Breezy everywhere I went. Sleazy Breezy was written on my locker in red lipstick. He and his friends pointed and laughed at me and I ran home. Where someone had spray painted the monikers on my parents’ garage door.

“It didn’t stop either. There were taunting phone calls, guys coming to my parents’ house. I was mortified. I left and never went back. I moved in with my grandmother, got my GED, and started college. I swore I’d never let my hormones control my life again.”

Logan nodded as if he could possibly understand the level of mortification. “That’s a lot of ugliness to carry, a lot of power to give someone who didn’t deserve it.” He stepped so close her only choice was to stare at the button of his shirt or up at his face. Fearing he might flash her that smile, she opted for the button.

“I learned my lesson.”

“I don’t think that was the lesson you were meant to learn.”

Looking up, she didn’t find a smile, just warm understanding in his eyes. “The girls were taunting, and the boys?” She closed her eyes as the ugly propositions flooded in.

“That’s not what I mean. You think you were supposed to learn not to trust anyone. I think you should take away that you don’t share your body with someone to make them feel better. You’re not a consolation prize or a bandage.”

“I didn’t—” The thought dissolved as he threaded his fingers into her hair and tilted her face up.

“After we’re together, you’ll feel the difference. It’s not something you give, it’s something you share. It scares me too, because with as hard as you’re fighting me, I should have walked away. But what I feel for you goes beyond wanting, and I think that’s what’s clouding this for you too.” He kissed her forehead, released her and then took her hand and stepped towards his bedroom.

Her feet stayed rooted to the ground. “Logan, I can’t. I can’t handle the same kind of taunts again from people I need to respect me.”

“I know. I still want to show you your surprise.”

He tugged at her hand and her body overruled her mind. Let him rewrite her history. She followed him through his dark room, the drapes pulled shut, blocking out the night. Light flickered through the sliver in a doorway at the back. He pushed it aside, candlelight licking up the walls of an enormous tiled bathroom. Fresh scents of cucumber and grapefruit calmed her nerves. Oil glistened on the still surface of the oversized tub. The clear sheen covered its milky depths.

He unzipped her dress, shockwaves following his knuckles down her spine. Did she dare?

Pressing his lips to her temple, he whispered, “Relax and enjoy.” The sensation of his warm kiss swirled all the way to her belly. But when she turned towards him he stepped away, not stopping until he was out of the room.

Chapter Eight

“Make it stop.” Logan burst through the door, holding her tiny silver phone at arm’s length.

Breeze gasped, sinking as far as she could into the milky water. She glanced quickly to make sure the bath covered as much of her nakedness as possible.

“Get out.” Her heart kicked and bucked like a bronco trying to throw a rider.

“It won’t stop.” He stepped closer, holding out the phone as if it excused the intrusion. “For the life of me I cannot figure out how to turn it off.”

“Logan, I’m in the bathtub.” She pushed her hand towards him, wishing she could use magic to make him disappear. He didn’t leave, so she tried again and again, trying to wave him away while still careful not to move too much and have anything show above the water.

“Between knowing you’re in here, and this thing going off every two minutes, I can’t get any work done.” His eyes twinkled in the candlelight.

Carefully reaching a hand out of the water, she inched forward until he pressed the ringing phone into her damp palm. His fingers lingered as she pulled away.

“Go.” She nodded towards the door. He stayed, staring at her. She held his gaze for a few seconds, but fearing he just might be able to read her mind, she looked away and wiggled the phone. “I can’t answer it with you here.”

“Sure you can.” He grinned. That grin.

“No,” she began, then realized the persistent chime had stopped. She looked at the display. Anthony. Eight times in the last three minutes. “It’s work. And no matter what your explanations are, we both know we shouldn’t be sharing a room. If someone found out—”

“Found out what? Nothing has happened.”

“It’s inappropriate and you know it.” Her body sank deeper into the water. She was tired of making excuses. She jumped as the phone chirped to life, water splashing dangerously close. The last thing she needed was to have her phone wiped out by a milk bath.

“I told you. It won’t stop.” His smile widened, but he didn’t press. Just turned and walked out of the bathroom, leaving the door wide open. Probably so he could watch her get out of the tub.

She shook her head and pressed the talk button. “What the—” she muttered when the phone kept ringing. She pressed a few more, realizing Logan must have locked the keys.

“Hello?” she was finally able to say. She closed her eyes and wrapped an arm around her knees, sitting up. She allowed her body to relax as she talked Anthony through another unending problem at the store. After lecturing him briefly about security sensors on the jewelry safes, she explained how to override the system. His mini-dilemma solved, he quickly changed the subject.

“Have you seen him?”

“Him who?” she asked, knowing the answer.

“The hottie from Nitrous. He’ll be in Lexington tomorrow.”

“Yes, we’re meeting to talk about the progress.” Guilt niggled her belly. Could he tell she was lying?

“He has a surprise for you.”

“Does he now?” Her eyes widened as Logan marched back into the bathroom carrying a small black zippered bag. He stopped at the sink opposite the tub. In the mirror she could see him grin, challenging her to say something as he unzipped the bag, took out a toothbrush, and began brushing his teeth.

“He was bringing you a pair of Kicks. But I talked him into a bigger favor.”

“What’s that?” she asked them both. Logan merely smiled, pulling a razor from his bag.

“A fresh suitcase. All new clothes. Even shoes.”

“Thanks, Anthony. That’s sweet.” She overemphasized the name, but it had no effect as Logan rubbed shaving gel on his face.

“He’s really nice, Breeze. I chatted him up when he called for your shoe size.” Anthony kept talking, but she was mesmerized by the near-silent scrape of the razor against Logan’s face. She’d never watched a man shave before and it seemed strangely intimate. It wasn’t until he rinsed his face that she could pay attention again. Thank goodness Anthony was a talker.

She pasted on a smile she hoped would be heard through the phone. “You’re always thinking of me.”

“Don’t be tart. I think he likes you.”

“Do you?”

Logan rubbed his face with a fluffy white towel and Breeze forced herself to look away.

“Or maybe he would like you if you’d be nice. Friendly.”

“I am a very nice girl.” If he only knew the half of how much a nice girl she was trying to be.

“I know, you have no time for dating and you have a professional relationship.”

From the corner of her eye, she caught Logan taking off his shirt, throwing it in a heap by the side of the tub. His hands went to the fly of his jeans and she closed her eyes.

“But that’s because you work so much you only meet men who work for Mendelssohn’s. He doesn’t.” The rest of Anthony’s argument faded as she heard the jeans fall in a whoosh and the shower turn on. “Don’t you think?”