For Love and Family (16 page)

“Me, too,” he nearly growled in answer.

He rolled from atop her then, taking her with him to lie by his side. He wrapped one arm around her to keep her close and reached to cup the back of her head in his other hand.

“I'll be gone when you wake up, you know,” he said then.

“Mmm,” was all Terese could manage because that was the last thing she wanted to think about.

“But I'll call every day.”

“Um-hmm.”

“And I'll be back.”

“I know,” she said, keeping her eyes closed so she could just revel in the feel of his warm skin under her cheek while she still had him there.

“And then we'll see,” he whispered.

And then we'll see,
she thought.

Not really considering what that might mean…

T
erese had honestly thought she would wake up when Hunter left her bed. She'd
wanted
to wake up to say goodbye to him.

But when the sounds of Willy working near the barn and Johnny calling to him penetrated her dreams, something told her she hadn't made it.

Still, hoping Willy and Johnny were there to pick Hunter up and that she might be able to catch him, she opened her eyes.

But the sun was shining brightly through the windows and the alarm clock said seven forty-seven. Which meant that Hunter was long gone.

Just that realization was enough to make her miss him.

But he'll be back,
she told herself as she got out of bed.

It was just that in the cold light of day that reasoning didn't sustain her for long. Not when her head began to fill with other thoughts, thoughts that assaulted her like sharp rocks thrown at her bare skin.

She had reason to doubt herself, her thoughts reminded her—years and years of her sister and her stepmother pointing out that she didn't have any appeal, and an engagement to a man who had said he was settling for the plain girl with money.

She thought about the vows she'd made to herself long ago not to pin her future on any man, let alone a man who was incredible-looking and could have any woman. In this case, it was a man who had already had a woman so beautiful she'd made her living from her beauty.

Her thoughts had the strength and power to override any good memories of the night before so that by the time she was showered and dressed she was wondering what had possibly possessed her to actually sleep with Hunter.

But it was too late now, she told herself with a sinking feeling. What was done was done and couldn't be taken back. And the best she could do, she decided, was cut her losses.

It was with that in mind that she made another vow to herself as she finally got ready to move her things from the cabin into the guest room in the main house to be nearer to Johnny. She vowed to go
through the next two weeks putting all her energy, all her focus, into her nephew. He was the reason she was at the ranch. He was what mattered and she had precious little time remaining with him.

And while she was enjoying that time with him she swore she would do everything she possibly could not to think about his father. To try to forget that that night together had ever happened.

And she absolutely would not think about what might happen when Hunter got back.

Or get her hopes up…

 

It wasn't difficult for Terese to keep that vow to put all her energy and focus into Johnny during the two weeks that followed. Her nephew was a joy to Terese and she loved every minute of playing at being his mom—even the minutes when he was cranky or out-of-sorts or showing a stubborn streak.

Those times were infrequent, anyway, because, for the most part he wanted to please her as much as she wanted to please him. In fact, he didn't even put up a fuss going to their doctors' appointments on Wednesday of that first week, and instead did his best to comfort and support her through having her blood drawn for the test for hemophilia.

But still, Hunter was never too far from Terese's mind.

She didn't want to think about him. To miss him. To imagine what it would be like if he not only came home to Johnny, but came home to her, too. Some
times even her best efforts weren't enough to stop it, especially not when he called every day.

Terese made sure that most of the time Hunter was on the telephone, he was talking to Johnny, and kept her conversations with him brief and impersonal.

Still, whenever he took up residence in her thoughts, whenever she'd had even a moment to touch base with him, she was vigilant about reminding herself that there hadn't been any discussion about what would happen when he did come back. There hadn't been any hint that things would be any different just because they'd made love. And the only thing Hunter had said was
And then we'll see
—which certainly wasn't any kind of promise.

 

Hunter was scheduled to return on Saturday—two weeks to the day after he'd left. On the day before that, Terese had another doctor's appointment to learn the results of her blood test. So, after taking Johnny to his favorite hamburger restaurant for lunch, the two of them went to Portland General Hospital again.

“You're sure I don't have to do anything?” Johnny asked as they went in the hospital's front doors.

“I'm sure,” Terese told the little boy. “This visit is only for me and it's just a talking visit, anyway. It's called a consultation.”

“They aren't gonna poke you with any needles this time, either?”

“No, no needles,” she assured.

“'Cuz I'd hold your hand again if you wanted me to.”

Terese rubbed her nephew's head. “I know you would and I'm grateful for that. You can still come in with me, though,” she added, “and play with your drawing board while I talk to the doctor.”

They reached the office then and Terese signed in before she guided Johnny to the waiting area. There were only two other people standing just beyond the small space in the corridor and Terese recognized them both. They were the same couple she'd seen at the restaurant the night she and Hunter had gone to the Parents Adoption Network meeting and then had dinner.

The woman was once again dressed in a nurse's uniform, only now she carried a stack of file folders, and Terese recalled that Hunter had said her name was Nancy. She remembered the man's name from seeing it on his ID badge that night—the same ID badge he was wearing now. He was Everett Baker from Accounting.

Once again Terese found herself in the awkward position of being unable to avoid eavesdropping on their conversation because it was impossible not to overhear what they were saying in the quiet, nearly deserted waiting area.

“I just don't understand,” the nurse was saying. “I thought things between us were going well, but now you're keeping your distance.”

“I've just been… Well, you know how it is…
There's been a lot of work and… Well, work and well, things…” the man said, sounding shy, fumbling for his words—not at all the way he'd been at the restaurant.

“I've seen you in the cafeteria a couple of times just staring off into space. Is everything all right with you?” the nurse persisted.

“Fine. Fine. Everything is fine.”

“Because I'm a good listener. I mean, if you should ever want to talk…”

Even though Terese was trying not to look directly at the couple, she still had the impression that the man was tempted to open up to the woman. He even started a few sentences before cutting himself off, as if he were squelching the impulse to say more.

Then he finally said, “No, no, there's nothing I need to talk about. But I have missed your company,” he added. “And if I've hurt your feelings, I'm sorry.”

“It's not so much that. I just hope you're okay.”

“Fine, I'm fine,” he repeated. “In fact I'm so fine that maybe we could have dinner again this weekend—if you're not busy.”

That brightened the nurse's spirits considerably. “I'm not busy, no,” she said eagerly. “How about tomorrow night?”

The man agreed to dinner Saturday night but still Terese had the sense that something else was going on with him, because his enthusiasm seemed to wane suddenly, as if he wasn't certain he'd done the right thing. It was actually an odd dance to watch because
the man kept drawing near and then backing away—verbally and physically—as if he was tempted to get close to the woman but fearful of it, too.

In the end he appeared to be too drawn to the nurse to resist, and they made their plans while Terese continued to pretend she wasn't listening.

“Tomorrow night. Seven o'clock,” the nurse confirmed.

Then the man told her he had to make a phone call, and when he turned to go, the nurse noticed Johnny and asked what he was building with the connecting blocks he was so interested in.

Terese was just relieved not to be in the position of eavesdropping any longer and listened to her nephew explain that he was making a barn like the one his dad kept their horses in.

 

Everett Baker could see the waiting room from the small alcove he'd ducked into not far away and for a moment before he went in he stopped to watch Nancy chatting with the little boy.

Had he done the right thing by making plans to see her again? he kept asking himself.

He
had
been trying to keep his distance from her because he was so worried about blowing his cover. But there was just a part of him that couldn't resist her sweet appeal.

Maybe it would be all right, he told himself. Maybe he could keep things separate. And she was a good source of information that he could use to his benefit.

A twinge of guilt for using Nancy like that niggled at him but he ignored it.
All's fair in love and war,
he thought. And this was a little of both.

Nancy finished talking to the child and went on her way, so Everett stepped deeper into the alcove for privacy.

The call he had to make couldn't be made on his work phone so once he was certain no one was anywhere around, he pulled his cell phone from his jacket pocket.

“Just a quick check,” he muttered to himself when he pushed the button to speed-dial his party.

When the other end of the line was picked up, Everett spun around to face the wall and in a hushed voice without identifying himself, he said, “Did you make the delivery?”

Confirmation came with the same cold, ruthless tone he was using and since that was all Everett needed to know, he ended the call as abruptly as he'd made it.

He turned off his phone and replaced it in his jacket pocket, unable to keep the smug smile from curling his lips.

So the hand-off of the stolen ovarian eggs—ripe for in-vitro fertilization—was complete, he thought. Good.

And he was going to get to see Nancy again tomorrow night. That was good, too.

All in all, a good day for Everett Baker.

And no one deserved it more.

At least as far as he was concerned.

 

“Ms. Warwick? You can come in now, the doctor is ready to see you.”

“T'rese says I can come, too. 'Cuz it's just a consolation and nobody's doin' nothin' with needles.”

Terese laid a hand to the top of Johnny's head and told the nurse, “He's with me.”

The nurse nodded and led them to the doctor's office where the hematologist was sitting behind his desk, looking over papers.

When Terese and Johnny were shown in, he glanced up, greeted them and asked them to take a seat.

There were two chairs in front of his desk. Terese sat in one and nodded toward the couch that was against the wall to the side of them. “You can sit there and draw if you want, Johnny.”

“No, that's okay,” the little boy answered, climbing onto the second chair as if he needed to lend her moral support.

The doctor exchanged amenities with them both and then got down to business.

“I was just looking over the results of your blood test,” he began. “I'm happy to tell you that you are not a carrier of hemophilia.”

That was a relief to Terese and she told him so.

Then the doctor surprised her and said, “There's more.”

“Oh?”

“Don't be alarmed, you're fine. Very healthy, in
fact. It's just that when I order the blood work I have the lab run the whole gamut of tests so we get a complete picture of what we're dealing with should the patient prove to carry the hemophilia gene. That includes a pregnancy test.”

“A pregnancy test?” Terese repeated a bit dimly, trying to assimilate the turn this conversation had taken. “Yes. And I hope this is news you want to hear—the test was positive.”

“Positive? How can that be? I mean, my—” She suddenly became very aware of Johnny and said, “I'm not even late yet. I'm just due in the next day or two.”

“The blood test is far more accurate than urine tests. It can detect the hormones within days of conception. And although the levels are low, telling us you're in the very early stages, you are most definitely pregnant.”

Terese's head went light and her mouth went dry and she still couldn't believe what she was hearing. “You're kidding,” she said.

The gray-haired man across the desk shook his head. “No, I'm not kidding.”

“There couldn't be some kind of mistake? Or mix-up or wrong reading or something?”

“We're very careful,” the doctor assured, looking less convinced that he was delivering good news. But that still didn't change what he was saying. “I just hope congratulations are in order because there's no doubt about it. You are going to have a baby.”

 

Terese drove back to the ranch half-dazed.

Pregnant,
she kept thinking over and over again.
I'm pregnant.

She'd honestly believed that that would never be a part of life she would experience. After Dean and the pain she'd suffered, it was as if she'd put her hopes and dreams of having a family on a very, very high shelf. Out of reach.

Not because he had finally convinced her that she wasn't attractive enough for any man to want. But because Dean had disillusioned her to such an extent, hurt her so much, that she'd made a conscious, firm decision never to open herself up to the possibility of that happening again. She would never allow herself to suspect the possibility that a man would be settling for her. She'd made a decision never to allow herself to be that vulnerable again. Never to let another man get so close that she planned a future with him only to learn it wasn't her that he wanted.

And with that decision came the realization that she wouldn't have kids.

It was something she'd come to accept. Not to like, but to accept.