For Love and Family (17 page)

Only now here she was, pregnant.

Now she
would
have a child. A child of her own.

Hunter's child.

“T'rese? We're home. Are we gonna get out of the car?”

Terese had been so distracted that she'd gotten
them back to the ranch, parked her car and turned off the engine, all with only just enough awareness to do it safely. She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there before Johnny's question reminded her of their arrival.

She jolted out of her thoughts then and tried to pretend everything was normal.

“Out of the car and into the house. It looks like Willie and Carla are already here. Carla was bringing dinner over tonight,” she said too cheerfully.

“Carla said she'd make her pumpkin cake, too! I hope she did.”

“Why don't you go in and see if she did? I'm just going to sit here for a minute yet,” Terese said.

Johnny didn't hesitate to take her suggestion. He unfastened his seatbelt and bounded out of the car, running to the house and disappearing inside while Terese watched him go.

She knew she was expected to follow him. To go into that house with Johnny and Carla and Willy, to spend the evening with them all, to go with them tomorrow to the airport to pick up Hunter when his plane came in. And she would need to do it all as if nothing had changed.

Only for her, everything had.

She was pregnant with Hunter's baby!

Hunter—who would be home tomorrow.

The full impact of that fact began to penetrate.

How was she supposed to handle that? Was she supposed to meet him at the airport and announce he
was going to be a father for the second time? He'd think she was crazy.

And what else would he think?

That question popped into her mind on its own, but once it had, she couldn't ignore it.

What else
would
Hunter think? And equally as important, how would he react? What would he do?

The cockeyed optimist in her wanted to think he would whisk her into his arms and be thrilled.

But the realist in her just couldn't buy into that.

The realist in her pointed out that there weren't any ties between them. That spending one night together didn't constitute a commitment. That the most Hunter had said after that one night was,
And then we'll see….

The realist in her pointed out that he hadn't been widowed for long, that he hadn't even dated since he'd lost his wife, and that he'd said he'd put a moratorium on getting involved with anyone so he could keep Johnny his central focus.

Given all that, was he likely to be thrilled that she was pregnant? To whisk her into his arms and make all her dreams come true?

Terese didn't think so. Or at least she didn't think he was likely to do it willingly. Or gladly.

But was he likely to feel trapped? Maybe even obligated to marry her?

She knew Hunter well enough to know that he wouldn't shirk any responsibility. Certainly not one to a child of his own making. So yes, she thought he
would feel obligated to marry her. And under those circumstances, how could he feel anything
but
trapped?

Marrying her out of obligation was not the same as marrying her because he was in love with her. It wasn't the same as marrying her because he couldn't live without her. It wasn't the same as marrying her because he felt about her the way he'd felt about his late wife.

But it
was
very nearly the same as Dean planning to marry her for her money.

That thought stopped her cold.

If Hunter were to marry her, it would only be because he
had
to.

In a way, this was even worse than what Dean had been about to do because this wouldn't even be something Hunter had chosen to do willingly.

So what was she going to do? she asked herself.

She could tell Hunter about the baby, make it clear that she wasn't interested in marriage, that she didn't need his financial help, that she didn't expect anything from him.

But what if he ignored all that and tried to persuade her that they should get married, anyway?

It would be so tempting.

She didn't want to put a name to her feelings for Hunter, but the feelings were strong all the same. And Hunter had Johnny. It would be so nice to be included in their little family, to add to it.

But if she gave in to that temptation, she knew she would always be left with the knowledge that Hunter
wasn't with her for any of the reasons she wanted him to be with her. She would know what she would have known if she'd gone through with marrying Dean—that Hunter didn't really want
her.
She would know that their marriage was just the shallow, superficial, empty shell of a marriage she'd promised herself she'd never have.

“So that only leaves one option,” she said out loud in the stillness of the car.

Not to let Hunter know about the baby at all. To consider this
her
baby and her baby alone. Then Hunter wouldn't feel trapped or obligated or responsible. He just wouldn't know. And for him, ignorance could be bliss.

Certainly it would be better than to be bound to a marriage he didn't want, to a person he didn't want. A person who could never live up to his first wife.

It wasn't the perfect solution. It wasn't even a solution Terese was proud of. But right then, still half in shock over what she'd learned only an hour before, it seemed like the best thing to do for everyone involved. She would have the baby she'd never thought she'd be able to have and be thankful for the rest of her life for that gift Hunter had given her. And Hunter would be free to find another wife—when he was ready to—who could make him feel all his first wife had made him feel.

“But there's still tonight and tomorrow to get through,” she reminded herself.

And she didn't know how she could possibly get
through the time pretending that she hadn't just heard the biggest news of her life.

She didn't know how she could face Hunter, how she could look into those wonderful eyes of his, how she could feast on the sight of that handsome face, and act as if something monumental hadn't happened between them.

So there was only one thing she could think to do.

She would go inside, tell Carla and Willy that something had come up at home and she needed to leave immediately.

They would stay and take care of Johnny—she knew that was no problem—and they'd pick up Hunter at the airport tomorrow, too.

And then all of their lives would go on just the way they had before she and Hunter had ever met.

But the idea of leaving Johnny even a little earlier than she'd thought she'd have to wrenched Terese's heart suddenly. That she might not see him again hurt even worse.

Too much worse to accept.

She had to see Johnny again. That was all there was to it.

If she could arrange to see him alone, Hunter still wouldn't have to know she was pregnant. And if he
did
find out down the road, then she could say the baby belonged to someone else.

Again, it wasn't a perfect solution. But hoping it might work was all Terese had to hang on to because she couldn't imagine leaving here in the next hour or so and never seeing her nephew again.

She decided she would just do whatever she had to do to make it work.

She took a deep breath, held it a minute and blew it out very, very slowly.

A baby. She was going to have a baby. A baby of her own.

Anything she had to do because of that was worth it, she told herself.

Even saying goodbye to Johnny earlier than she'd planned to and having to plot how to see him again later.

Even not seeing Hunter again at all.

Although the sharp stab of pain that went through her when she thought that made her wonder if it was true.

H
unter's plane landed at 3:05 Saturday afternoon. When he got to baggage claim he was surprised not to find Terese waiting for him with Johnny, Willy and Carla.

“She went home,” Carla told him when he asked where Terese was. “She came back from her doctor's appointment yesterday, sent Johnny in alone, and when she came in a little while later she said something had come up and she had to leave. She asked if we'd stay the night with Johnny and pick you up today without her. Then she packed her things, said a long goodbye to Johnny and left before we even had dinner.”

“Maybe something happened at home,” Hunter
said, as if it was no big deal to him that she wasn't with them.

But it was a big deal to him, and it was on his mind the whole way back to the ranch—even as he filled everyone in on his trip and then got the update on the homefront. It was on his mind through the dinner Carla fixed for them all, and even as he gave Johnny his bath and read him three bedtime stories.

Hunter didn't bring up Terese's name again, and he didn't ask any more questions until Johnny mentioned her himself as Hunter was tucking him in.

“I wish T'rese was still here,” the boy said when he'd slid under the covers.

“I thought she would be,” Hunter said. “At least for today. Did she say anything to you about why she was leaving?”

Johnny shook his head. “But she was sad. She kinda cried when she told me g'bye and she said she'd miss me horrible.”

“Did she say she'd see you again?”

“I told her that I didn't want her to go, but she said she had to and that she'd try to see me again, but it might not be for kinda a while. She said she didn't want me to forget her and she'd be sendin' me stuff in the mail.”

Hunter hesitated to ask the next question rattling around in his brain. He'd been so careful not to let on that things between himself and Terese had reached an emotional level. But because they had, it was all the more difficult to understand why she
would take off without a word to him, a note to explain what was going on. And so he
had
to ask.

“Did she say anything about me? Or maybe give you a message to give me that you forgot about?”

Johnny did another negative shake of his head where it rested on his pillow. “Nope.”

Something else had occurred to Hunter, and even though he thought it was farfetched that his son could know the answer, he allowed himself one more question. “Do you know what the doctor told her yesterday? Did she get bad news?”

“She got news. That's what the doctor said—he had news for her.”

“Did you go in to see the doctor with her?”

“Uh-huh. It was only a consolation so she said I could go in with her and that was when the doctor said he had the news for her,” the sleepy little boy said.

It took Hunter a moment to understand that
consolation
meant
consultation
and that that was the reason Terese had taken Johnny in with her.

Hunter didn't feel good about invading Terese's privacy but he couldn't help wondering if she'd learned she carried the hemophilia gene and if maybe that explained her abrupt departure. So he said, “Do you remember what the doctor told her?”

“Uh-huh, I heard it. She doesn't got what I got—the hemolilia—and she's gonna have a baby.”

Hunter wasn't sure he'd heard that correctly. “She doesn't carry the hemophilia gene and what?”

“She's gonna have a baby,” Johnny repeated,
clearly without any idea of the importance of that information.

“A baby?” Hunter echoed.

“She was surprised, too, but the doctor said the blood test could tell it early or somethin' and he said congratulations. Then T'rese looked kinda funny and she didn't say much all the way home and then she left.”

Johnny's eyelids closed as if they were just too heavy for him to keep open and he rolled over onto his side, completely unaware of the thunderbolt he'd just delivered to his father.

“I gotta go to sleep now,” he said, his words slurring as he drifted off.

“Okay. Sleep tight,” Hunter muttered, bending over to kiss his son good-night.

Then he slipped out of the room, feeling as if he'd been blindsided.

Terese was
pregnant?

Could Johnny possibly be right? Or had he misheard or misunderstood? Maybe the doctor had said something about Terese not having to worry about having a baby because she hadn't tested positive for the hemophilia gene.

Except that Johnny had said that the doctor had told Terese that the blood test could tell she was pregnant early. And that the doctor had said congratulations…

Hunter had reached the living room by then and he half fell, half sat in the middle of the sofa, staring into space, thinking again,
Terese is pregnant?

Could it have happened that night before he'd left? Could the blood test have detected it
this
early?

Maybe she was involved with someone else, someone from before they'd ever met.

But even as he considered that, he didn't believe it. He knew she'd been hurt and that hurt had caused her to swear off relationships. He also knew Terese wasn't the kind of woman who slept around. No, if she was pregnant, the baby had to be his.

But how could that be?

Okay, so they hadn't used protection. And a single night without protection was enough, he admitted.

And if the doctor had said the blood test could tell early…

She really could be pregnant with his baby.

No matter how many times he repeated it to himself in his head, it still didn't ring true.

Of all the things Hunter had thought about on his trip and the whole plane ride home, this had not been one of them. And he'd thought about Terese a lot. Almost constantly, in fact, with only Johnny running neck-and-neck with her.

He'd thought about how good Terese was with Johnny, how patient she was with him, how much she loved him and doted on him, how kind and sweet she was, and how touching it was to see her with him.

He'd thought about how much he'd enjoyed every minute he'd spent with her himself. Every minute since she'd arrived at the ranch. He'd thought about how she made his blood run faster just by walking into a room.

He'd thought about how pretty she was—whether she believed it or not.

He'd thought about how easy she was to talk to. How well she'd fit into their little family. How she'd stirred things inside him that had been dormant for a long time.

He'd sure as hell thought about that last night together and how incredible it had been.

But he'd never thought she might have ended up pregnant from that last night.

Pregnant.

Oh, man…

Hunter jammed his hands through his hair. Then he grasped the top of the cushions behind him and dropped his head back, too, to stare up at the ceiling.

Pregnant…

He'd also thought a lot about what would happen when he got back here. About Terese inevitably leaving. About how rotten it made him feel to think of not seeing her as much as he had. Or maybe not at all. But unlike the rest of his thoughts about her, he hadn't liked that one. He'd shied away from it each time it had popped into his head. And he hadn't come up with any idea about how to continue what had begun between them.

Now here he was, and she was gone, and all of a sudden everything was a whole lot more complicated than just trying to figure out if he was going to ask her to a movie and dinner, or to do something with him and Johnny, or to visit for a weekend here and there.

Pregnant…

Terese was going to have a baby…

His baby…

So if she was pregnant with his child, where was she? he thought, getting a little angry suddenly. Why wasn't she here telling him that they were going to have a baby? Why had she taken off before he got home, without giving him so much as a clue about what was going on and what she wanted to happen now?

If he was going to be a father again, he had the right to know that. To know where they stood. What the hell was she thinking just to take off? What was she feeling?

That last thought stayed with him, cooling him off as quickly as his temper had flared.

What
was
she feeling? he couldn't help wondering.

She had to have been as shocked as he was.

But was she happy about it?

He couldn't imagine that she wouldn't be. At least when the surprise wore off. He'd seen for himself how crazy she was about Johnny. He knew she'd thought she would never have kids of her own and had regretted that.

So once she got used to the idea, he thought she'd probably be glad.

But what about him? How did he feel about it? he asked himself.

A baby. He was going to have a baby. A brother or sister for Johnny…

He'd always wanted more than one child. He and Margee had planned to adopt at least a second baby and maybe a third. But when Margee had died, he'd had to accept that Johnny would be the only child he ever had. And now that it seemed as though that wasn't true, he tried the possibility on like a new pair of boots. Judging how it fit.

He didn't hate the idea, he realized.

In fact, the longer he considered it, the more he liked it.

He and Terese were going to have a baby….

But fast on the heels of that thought, it occurred to him that there really wasn't a “he and Terese.” And that set him back a little.

It wasn't as if they were a couple, he reminded himself. It wasn't as if they'd talked about a future together or made a commitment. They were just two people, connected by Johnny, brought together over Johnny, with no other ties. Except the baby they would have now.

For the life of him, Hunter didn't know where they were supposed to go from here. He didn't even know where he
wanted
them to go from here.

The ceiling didn't hold any answers for him and he sat up straight again, staring at nothing in particular while he tried to sort out his feelings.

Where did he want them to go from here?

He knew that he'd wanted to come home to Terese as much as he'd wanted to come home to Johnny. That he'd missed her every bit as much.

He knew that coming back and finding her gone had left a hole in him, an empty spot that needed her to fill it.

He knew that the house seemed too quiet, too still, without her. That even just knowing she wasn't anywhere on the ranch made the whole place seem a little lonely.

He knew that the thought of getting up tomorrow morning and not having her across the breakfast table from him made him feel bad. Really bad. That the thought of
never
having her across the breakfast table from him made him feel even worse.

And that let him know for sure that he wanted her here.

But the more he thought about it, the more he realized he didn't just want her here in the general proximity the way she'd been before. He wanted her here in his house. In his bed. In his life. Here helping him raise Johnny and having their new baby.

Only
here
was a long way from where Terese had come from, he reminded himself.
Here
was a modest but rustic ranch, while she was accustomed to a mansion, an entire estate complete with servants and drivers and gardeners and more amenities than he would ever be able to give her.

So maybe she wouldn't want to be here.

Somehow he didn't believe that any more than he believed she might have slept with another man.

Terese hadn't seemed to care that staying at the ranch was such a step down from the way she usually
lived. At least she hadn't seemed to care over the short term. Would she feel differently over the long term?

He didn't think so. Not when he recalled their picnic dinner when she'd eaten the marshmallow Johnny had dropped in the dirt. Not when he pictured her happily cooking in his simple kitchen. Not when he recalled how willing she was to pitch in, to lend a hand with Johnny or Johnny's chores. Not when he thought of how much she seemed to enjoy the simple stay-at-home socializing they'd done with Carla and Willy.

There was just something down-to-earth about Terese, something the exact opposite of her pretentious sister. Something that let him think—or at least hope—that she might not care too much about leaving behind the perks of her wealth and social standing if he asked her to.

But what about his own vows not to let himself be taken away from Johnny by a relationship with a woman?

Taken away from Johnny
—that was what Hunter had envisioned happening if he let a woman into their lives. He'd seen himself torn between the woman and his son. He'd seen the attention he might pay a woman costing Johnny the attention that was his due. He'd seen being involved with a woman as cheating his son by dividing his time, his energy.

But that wasn't how it had been with Terese. As much as she'd drawn his attention, his thoughts, it hadn't been as if anything was being taken away from Johnny. He'd still done the same things he'd
always done with his son; Terese had just been included, too.

And rather than Johnny losing anything, he'd actually gained. He'd gained Terese's attention, Terese's love and affection, Terese's delight in him.

No, nothing about her had subtracted from his son. When it came to Terese, the truth was that she had only added to Johnny's life. Which was probably why Johnny liked her as much as he did.

And Johnny
did
like her. Hadn't he wanted to “keep” her?

Keep her…

“That's just what I want to do,” Hunter said out loud when the reality finally gelled for him.

He wanted to keep Terese.

And he wanted to keep her for good.

For himself.

For his son.

New baby or no new baby.