For Sure (68 page)

“I'd never tawt of it, if you hadn't told me 'bout all de tips yer makin' on Thursdays.”

“Well den, I better not be tellin' you what I'm losing not workin' on Fridays.”

Still on her knees at the foot of the sink, Carmen was pulling everything she could lay her hands on out of the cabinet.

“Wot is it yer lookin' fer, anyways?”

Every collector ends up increasing his or her knowledge (techniques), ruses (tactics) and pride (fervour), but the act of collecting is rooted in fantasy.

For about a year now, Carmen and Terry had each been taking a total day off every two weeks, i.e., a day off from work and from the family, to indulge their own individual small pleasures and needs.

“At first, I wasn't sure 'twould be worth it, one day every two weeks. An' I thought it might be too difficult to organize.”

Carmen was speaking even while she continued to battle inside the cabinet, picking up and replacing one bottle after another.

“Sure, I wouldn't say no to a day every week. In a while, maybe . . .”

“Dat's it, we'll see 'ow tings go after a while.”

“Der she is! I knew I had some!”

As she got to her feet, Carmen added:

“I'd forgotten the bottle looked like this. 'Twas right in front o' me nose de whole time!”

“Wot is it den?”

“It hides flaws. I've a pimple coming out.”

Terry was surprised by the colour of the cream that emerged from the bottle.

“Green?”

“I know. 'Tis weird, only it works.”

According to the eminent financier George Soros, the humble photocopier is responsible for the fall of the Berlin Wall.

“You're serious?”

“Yes, absolutely. Try it, you'll see. I'll call you back as soon as I can.”

Jean-Jacques gazed over his glasses at Marianne for a moment before putting a third pair of bread slices into the toaster.

“Well, Marianne! Apparently you like your toast burnt? Is that right?”

Was Marianne beginning to feel estranged with Jean-Jacques? She had fallen silent, as if in a hollow.

“Burnt to a crisp, I'm told, on a bed of embers, why not, that we'll extinguish with a dob of butter, to make it go
pshhh pshhh
. . .”

That was all it took for Marianne to forget her discontentment.

“
Pshhh pshhh
, that makes you laugh does it?
Pshhh
pshhh
. . .”

Her arms in the air, Marianne did her own version of
pshhh
.

“. . . and the butter and jam'll put out the fire and it'll go
pshhh
,
pshhh
,
pshhh
. . .”

And Marianne laughed.

Avoid applying mascara to your eyelashes before powdering your face, because the resulting cloud of cosmetic powder will immediately stick to the mascara, ruining the desired contrasting effect.

“You're probably afraid of knives as well?”

“No, not really.”

“No?”

“Wot? Now I's gotta be ascared o' knives as well? Lard, might as well be givin' up de whole ting an' end it all right now!”

“You said it, girl.”

“Me, I's afeard o' knives . . .”

“Class, please! Be serious . . .”

. . .

. . .

“Do you really think you would open your veins?”

“(She means slit 'er wrists.)”

“(Awh.)”

“. . . don't know, do I. 'Tis
irrational
, I suppose. How does you say dat in French?
Irrationnel
?”

“Exactly.”

“Well den, dat's wot it 'tis: irrational. I doesn't tink I'd really be doin' it, only de tawt of it sticks in me 'ead. I suppose 'tis more an obsession, den?”

The French word
fainéant
or “idler” is composed of the words
faire
, “to do” and
néant
, “nothing”. To do nothing. Vice? Virtue? Reread Jean Giono's
Arcadia . . . Arcadia . . .

“I figures we might tink of it as a hobby o' sorts.”

“What's that?”

“Dis 'ere, all wot youse do to make yerselves beautiful.”

“Why would you say that? On account of how much time it takes?”

“Time, sure, an' money. Hobbies all end up takin' up loads of time an' a whole lot o' money. Golf, fishin', music, bingo, toy trains, travellin', drinkin', readin'. Even cookin'!”

Carmen had definitely never thought of her skin-and-beauty care as a hobby.

“Hmm. Well, I suppose you could see it that way . . .”

Examination question for course in Spatial Organization II (ETFA 3602): 1) Describe the characteristics of the traditional Acadian hamlet through the lens of feng shui theory, and 2) measure the tragic dimension of the Great Expulsion on the feng shui scale.

“We already played dat.”

“I knows it, an' 'twas fun!”

Chico did not understand Étienne's reticence to playing the game he was proposing. And, as Étienne was sulking, Chico blurted out:

“Well, me, I doesn't like to be inventin' a new game every day!”

Isn't there a difference between “doing nothing” and “not doing anything”?

“Wot does dey put in dem creams anyhow? Some say der full of stuff like lead an' cadmium an' de like . . .”

Carmen knew that there was a lot of talk on the subject.

“Who knows? A body'd have to be a chemist to understand wot's written on de packets.”

“That's true. De government ought to make dose companies write in a language folks can understand.”

. . .

. . .

“An' you'd think de more you pay, the better quality the cream would be, not some scrap metal in disguise. Only dat's not de case.”

“Awh no?”

“No.”

. . .

“That's well put, ‘scrap metal in disguise.' I like that.”

Étienne thinks that magnets have to work to stick to metal and, as a result, that they need rest to maintain their strength. It worries him to see a magnet working for nothing, like when humans leave them stuck somewhere without any reason other than simple negligence.

“She ate it all. Bizarre, no?”

Jean-Jacques could hardly believe it.

“That girl's quite unique.”

“And what do I do now?”

“Now you find something to keep her busy.”

“Yes, that's what I'm trying to do, but she doesn't sit still, you know.”

Élizabeth laughed, imagining the scene.

“Yes, I know. Have you tried the scissors?”

Jean-Jacques was shocked.

“Did I hear you right? You want me to put scissors in that Young Nicolas' hands?”

Élizabeth was in a hurry; she cut to the chase:

“There's a pair of children's scissors in one of the drawers of the buffet. You give them to her with paper from the recycling basket. She loves it.”

Closing one's eyes. So as not to see. To see better. To sleep.

When she saw Jean-Jacques retrieving paper from the waste basket Marianne ran to the buffet, and raised her arms toward one of the drawers.

“Clearly, this little girl knows what she wants! Eh? You know what you want!”

Jean-Jacques opened the drawer, found the blunt ended scissors. Marianne ran to the middle of the living room, and let herself drop to the ground, knocking the back of her head on the floor, which fortunately was carpeted.

“Oh la la!”

But Marianne didn't even flinch.

“Lala?”

“That's right, oh la la.”

Jean-Jacques settled Marianne in with paper and scissors. The child immediately set to work cutting.

“Olala?”

“Yes, oh la la.”

Quickly she forgot even Jean-Jacques who, amused, watched her for a long time.

bold leeks

proud sheaths erect

no wind can bring them down

traversing hoar frost and winter

on foot

“And do you work in the same place?”

“No. I make bar codes.”

“Codes for the bar? You're a lawyer?”

“No!
Bar codes
,
bar codes
!”

“Awh!
Bar codes
! 'Ere in Moncton?”

“No, in Dieppe. In the industrial park. Like him.”

“Awh.”

. . .

“Yer de one installs systems, like?”

“Like. 'Tis an industry in itself now.”

“I suppose so. This is the first time I meet someone who works in that field.”

. . .

“How did you call that in French, again?”

“
Codes barres
.”

“
Cas de bars
,
cas de bars
. . . like bar cases. I has to try an remember dat.”

Examination question for Ancient Literature course (LITT 4398): The Bible, holy text, wholly text, wooly old text. Explain.

“So wot're you up to today?”

Terry always liked to know how Carmen was going to spend her day off.

“I'm meeting Mimi at Winners at eleven o'clock, den we're havin' lunch together. At 1:30 I'm goin' somewhere I can't tell you about, then I think I'll go to the gym. Probably I'll come on home after dat.”

Carmen had piqued Terry's curiosity on purpose.

“I know yer tinkin' I's gonna beg you to say wot you doesn't want to tell me . . .”

. . .

“Only, I'm not gonna do it, on account of I's got me own secret I doesn't want to tell you. Well, not right dis minute, anyhow. So, fair ‘nough, girl.”

Carmen absorbed the shock with a straight face, and then tried to extricate herself gracefully.

“Well, in me case, 'tisn't anyting bad. You neidder, I hope . . .”

Terry teased:

“Is dat right! Well, I's not sayin' nuttin.”

Étienne keeps his magnets in a small wooden box that Ludmilla gave him. The fact that the magnets get stuck to each other in the little box also annoys him.

“Me, I's obsessed by de idea dat der might be cameras hidden away in de washrooms an' de fitting rooms an' all over de place.”

“Well, dat's 'appened already, so I suppose it's normal to tink so dese days.”

“Yah, well, on account of dat, I only goes to de toilet at home, an in a couple udder houses I trust. An' you won't be findin' me tryin' on clothes in de stores. If I can exchange it, I takes it home an' tries it on der. If der's no exchangin', I just leaves it der. 'Tis just too bad.”

Watching Marianne cutting paper, Jean-Jacques wonders if there might be a kind of fantasy involved, but which fantasy, he has no idea.

“Would you do me a favour some time during de day?”

Carmen who was applying her lipstick could not reply.

“You can say no, if you don't want to.”

“What is it?”

“Would you stop by Home Hardware and pick up some red
tuck tape
?”

Carmen repeated it to be sure and remember:

“Red
tuck tape
.”

“Dat's it, exactly.”

“An' if dey don't have any, am I to buy sometin' else instead?”

“Well, dey 'ad some last week.”

“Only a single roll? I imagine dey sell it in rolls . . .”

“One roll.”

“Of red
tuck tape
.”

“Of red
tuck tape
.”

“I suppose I ought to be able to do that.”

“Atta girl! I'll be owin' ya one.”

Envisage, steerage, assuage, presage, mirage, mirroir, terroir, terror, terrase, erase, enrage, engage, old sage, old age, bird in a cage, burn sage, barrage, bavardage, bad entourage, bon voyage.

“How come yer doin' dat, Dad?”

Terry who had to concentrate on the task at hand, could not be talking during the delicate phases of the operation. Luckily, he was now at the halfway point, and could afford to pause:

“Der! Wot does you tink? How pretty is dat?”

Le Petit Étienne wasn't sure if it was pretty. Terry did not insist; he got back to work. Étienne followed every stroke of the brush. At last his father explained:

“I wants to see how long it'll be afore de colour disappears, afore de whole new nail grows out.”

Étienne imagined that might be something useful to know.

“Can I does it, too, Dad?”

“Can I be doin' it. We say ‘can I be doin' it'.”

Étienne corrected himself.

“Eh, can I be doin' it?”

His chin resting on his bent knee, Terry dipped the tiny brush back into the bottle of dark green polish.