For Sure (72 page)

Chico could tell that Zed was really impressed; he was happy to add:

“An' we picked blueberries fer Granny.”

“Is dat right? Dat's right nice!”

Zed opened the fridge door:

“Are der some fer us, den?”

Then there are errors of naming. Stag, deer, buck, elk, reindeer, moose, caribou, Alaskan elk, wapiti? The American elk is called
orignal
in French, from the Basque
oregna
meaning “stag.” Just as America takes its name from Amerigo Vespucci, who was not actually its first European visitor. Columbus (1492) and Cabot (1497) had set foot on the territory before him. But — another example of the unpredictable consequences of writing — the discovery was attibuted to him because he was the first to write down, in a 32-page letter, what he'd seen and experienced during his four voyages betweeen 1497 and 1504. For it is through writing and the art of storytelling that the discovery of the New World spread throughout the old country.

“Mum, I don't understand the story of Saint Louis. Dad explained it to me, only I still doesn't understand.”

Carmen had no idea what story Terry might have told.

“You know yer Dad, sometimes he says things dat you'd have to be in his head to understand.”

“How come?”

“Well, ee doesn't do it on purpose, it's just the way it happens.”

Étienne considered this for a moment, then:

“Wot colour is it in yer 'ead, Mum?”

To please her son, Carmen looked inside her head:

“Mmm . . . it's not a bad bit nice, 'tis all shades of green. Like a beautiful forest. You?”

“Me, der's times 'tis orange, den sometimes blue almost black.”

“Orange is nice.”

“Yes, only 'tis far. A far orange.”

“Awh?”

“Yes. Only you'd 'ave to be in me 'ead.”

“Hey, yer like yer dad!”

“Well, Mum, you just said de same ting I was tinkin'!”

Fly fishing for salmon is already such an incredible experience that it takes on ecstatic proportions when the catch is made with a fly of your own fabrication.

“Cory Melanson? I wouldn't be wastin' so much as a match on Cory Melanson.”

“What about Kyle, den?”

“Kyle Richard?”

“No, Kyle Léger.”

“Ti-Kyle! Him, I'd maybe give 'im a tootpick if he asked me fer one, only it'd have to be at arm's lengt'. An' don't ferget, I said maybe.”

“An' Jamie?”

“Jamie Bourque? What about Jamie Bourque?”

“Well, you know . . .”

“You wants to know if he really went an' poured de light, sweet crude down de drain afore de cops arrived?”

. . .

“Well, if dat's wot you wants to know, go find yerself a plumber.”

By means of an ingenuous combination of the wheel and the lever, the Chinese invented the wheelbarrow more than 2,000 years ago, and kept it a secret for more than 100 years. The wheelbarrow had a major impact on warfare and construction.

“Mum, do you have saints you like a whole lot like Dad has?”

“Hmm . . . I'd have to think about it . . .”

“Dad likes Saint Christopher, who lives in a cabin by de bridge.”

“That's right. Ee wears his medallion.”

“An' Saint Bernadette Spirou, who gaddered a turn of whits.”

“Of what?”

Étienne was taken aback; he didn't think he'd used an English word.

“That's how Grandad Thibodeau says it.”

“It must be an old word, say it again.”

“Whits.”

“No, I've never heard that word.”

“Mum, yer only sayin' that!”

“No! It's true!”

“But, Mum! It's the wee branches you pick up to start the fire!”

“Well, it's a new word for me. That's normal, you know. A person can't be knowing all the words.”

A river.

“Well, come to think of it, I did like Saint Francis.”

“On account of?”

“Because he loved nature. Especially birds.”

As she spoke, Carmen had dug her nails into Étienne's back and scratched him slightly, instead of simply lightly grazing over his skin the way she'd been doing while they talked.

“Awh, dat feels good, Mum.”

Carmen did it again.

“'Twas better the first time.”

Why not the string, the ladder, and even the needle, while we're at it?

“There are a lot o' saints with de same names. Me, I like the Saint Francis dat walked barefoot.”

“In de snow, as well?”

“I don't think dey had snow over there.”

“Where was it den?”

“In Italy.”

“Wot else was ee doin'?”

“Ee talked to the trees.”

Étienne was not all that surprised.

“Wot was ee sayin'?”

“Saint Francis thought that God was everywhere, in nature, in the animals, in the plants. So, for him, it was normal to talk to trees an' animals an' plants. It was as though he was talkin' to God.”

“Well, wot was ee sayin' to de tree?”

“Once he asked an almond tree — that's a tree that yields almonds — he asked the almond tree to prove that it could hear him, as doh it was 'is brudder speakin'.”

Étienne raised his head to look at Carmen; this story was something out of the ordinary.”

?

“An' then the almond tree flowered.”

Étienne's face lit up:

“That's well said, eh Mum?”

OK

Red Riding Hood

with neither axe nor wolf

Granny's better, rises, dresses

sometimes

“I'm afraid people'll take me fer a dumb blond.”

“Dat's weird. Yer not even blond.”

. . .

“An' everybody knows you knows 'ow smart you is.”

“Only I'm talkin' 'bout dose dat doesn't know me.”

“An' who cares wot dey're tinkin', I'd like to know?”

“I do.”

“Wot difference is it gonna make?”

“I know it makes no sense, that's why it's a fear, right?”

The real makes fiction necessary.

“I tink I's gaining weight.”

Carmen looked Terry over to see if it was true.

“I don't think so.”

“Dis mornin' I had all kinds o' trouble gettin' me hand all de way down to de bottom o' me pocket. I 'ad to suck me belly in.”

As he said this, Terry studied his stomach, drawing it in and letting it out.

“We's gonna cut back on de potatoes fer a bit.”

Not to mention diagnostic errors.

“Seems to me tings was a whole lot denser before.”

“What do you mean by dense?”

“Thicker. It's as though I's seein' right troo everytin'.”

“You mean you have the impression you see more clearly?”

“Mm yes . . . an' no. Der's sometin' missin'.”

“Colour?”

“Colour would help, sure.”

“Maybe you've got cataracts.”

black bird

lace in her beak

she's going her own way

modern method of construction

as if

“Alright, go half 'n half. One day you invent a game, an' de next time you play a game you already know.”

“Only wot happens when we forgets?”

“When you forget wot?”

“When we can't remember wot game we's playin' de time before?”

Zed found these children's problems comical, but that didn't stop him from trying to come up with solutions:

“Well, den you do heads or tails.”

He was careful to say the French phrase, “
pile ou face
”; he'd been making an effort to include more French in his vocabulary now that he had Chico.

“Wot's dat?”

Zed took a coin from his pocket:

“You take a coin, one of you says heads or tails, an' you flips de penny, an it falls . . .”

“Awh!
Head or tail
! I know dat.”

. . .

“Only we doesn't always 'ave money do we.”

Zed dug into his pocket, found two more pennies, and offered them to Chico.

“You can hide dem different places outside, places only de two of yous'll know where to find dem.”

Chico thought that was a good idea.

“Can I go an' hide dem right away?”

“If you like.”

Chico took the coins and ran off.

The Basque language, spoken by less than a million people in southwest France and northeast Spain, is one of those confounding linguistic exceptions referred to as language isolates. Basque is special in that it has existed without interruption since the second millenium before the Common Era, and because it has no kinship with the romance languages that surround it, nor with any other Indo-European language. And yet, Basque includes a sizable number of dialects, including Bizkaian, Gipuzkoan, Upper Navarrese, Navarrese-Lapurdian, and Zuberoan.

Josse did not look happy.

“I just met Solange an' Bob in town. Dey was askin' me if 'twas true de Babar's closin'.”

“That's bizarre! Last week someone thought the bookstore was all set to close.”

“Is dat so! Wonder who's startin' all dese rumours.”

Carmen figured it must be a misunderstanding, but Josse seemed to be speaking from experience.

“You wouldn't believe wot folks'll do just to be causin' harm.”

“You think? That someone would do that on purpose? Fer wot possible reason?”

Josse wasn't sure, but:

“Still, 'tis a terrible strange coincidence, wouldn't you say?”

“Maybe, only it doesn't worry me all that much. Der's always stories goin' round that aren't true. It's as though people thrive on it.”

“Still. I doesn't like de feelin'. Wot's de sayin' again, when der's smoke an' no fire?”

Even Zed was intrigued: maybe Carmen was considering the pros and cons of aesthetic surgery? But to have what done? Lift up her breasts? Fill out her buttocks? Liposuction her tummy? The inside of her thighs?

“Me mum likes Saint Francis on account of he walked barefoot in Nitaly.”

Chico liked to listen to Étienne, especially at this moment when, each one armed with a magnifying glass, they were both concentrating on burning a circle into a piece of wood.

“An' because ee spoke to the birds an' de trees.”

“Wot was ee sayin' to de trees?”

. . .

“Eh, wot was ee sayin' to the trees, den?”

“Do you eat almonds?”

“Sometimes.”

“Me too. Almonds grow on trees.”

“Luh! Der's smoke!”

surprise!

a naked man

ha ha ha Saint Francis

the almond-shaped eyes of children

Mueslix

“Well, I doesn't agree wid dat.”

“Wot do you mean, you doesn't agree? Der's no agreein' or disagreein' wid a fact.”

“Still. I tink de needle belongs absolutely in de category of simple machines. Wot could be simpler dan dat?”

“Neverdeless, she's not on me list.”

“Yer list?”

“De Wikipedia list for Chris' sake. Does you tink I's invented it meself dis minute?!”

In the domain of excuses, the alibi, the subterfuge and the pardon are considered borderline experiences.

“It bodders me just a wee bit to tink yer hidin' something from me.”

“Well, it is a surprise, isn't it!”

. . .

. . .

“An' a surprise's supposed to be something good, right?”

“Mostly, yes.”

“So I oughtn't to be worryin', right?”

“Normally, no.”

But Terry was not entirely reassured. He was really worried because he was going to have to find a way to transform into a pleasant surprise for Carmen the fact that he was playing — he reminded himself not to use the word
playing
— the stock market.

“My surprise may not be as excitin' as yers.”

“A surprise is always a wee bit exciting all the same.”

“'Tis more excitin' when you doesn't know it's comin'. You don't have de time to get ideas.”

“That's true.”

. . .

. . .

“Well, why'd ya go an' tell me you's doin' sometin' you couldn't be tellin' me in de first place?”

“I don't know. It just came out.”

. . .

“Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know. I find it hard keeping it to myself.”

Terry's anxiety only grew because he could see how happy and excited Carmen became whenever she mentioned the surprise she was preparing.