For the Love of a Goblin Warrior (Shadowlands) (30 page)

“If the curse broke maybe, but how much of the man would be left after living so long in the Shadowlands?” Solomon studied her as if wondering at her sudden interest.

That first night Meryn had been more goblin than man. He’d admitted as much and proven that by stealing her mother’s cross. But now? He’d shown her his heart and still ached for a two-thousand-year-old loss. No goblin would feel such a wound.

But had he really given up being goblin? Could she trust him?

“If the goblins took her, you can’t bring her back.”

“I know.” But she didn’t share her mother’s fate with her father. Telling him would not do anything but open an old wound. “I guess I just want an end to her story. It was always incomplete.”

“That’s what she always said, and she spent a lot of time looking for variants, hoping to find out what happened.” He shook his head. “If those men survived, they have served many life sentences.”

Nadine looked at the floor. Her father had done twenty years. Meryn had done twenty centuries for daring to stand against the Romans and support his king, something that he should’ve been rewarded for, not punished for. The sheer amount of time made her head spin. Meryn had stepped out of ancient history. The army he’d served in had fought with swords against the Romans.

It was too much when all she wanted was a simple life. A boyfriend who hadn’t crawled out of her worst fears, one who hadn’t watched her mother die alone in the Shadowlands.

“Not every story has a happy ending. If your mother’s tale is true, the chances are better that those men gave in or went mad. You’re so like her, believing in the fairy tales.”

“They were all I had when I was growing up. I used to wish she’d walk through the door and take me home.”

“I used to wish she’d be found alive and well, even though I knew in my heart she was gone. I’d seen the goblins pass the cab. I knew she’d planned to watch. I never thought they’d take her.”

Nadine closed her eyes as the fragments reformed. “She put a coin on the windowsill to bring them close enough for me to see. She was hoping to see the Goblin King.”

Chapter 20

It was midnight when Meryn walked down the hill and into the city. His eyes kept a careful watch on the dark shadows lining the street. While nothing moved, the tension in his gut didn’t leave. He was completely unarmed. He’d left the knife he’d stolen at home, in an effort to prove he could fit in and that he was no longer a goblin or a soldier. Without a weapon, he was naked…and he had no armor. Nadine could cut out his heart with just a few words, and yet if she did, he knew he could survive the injury. He’d rather live and be happy, but he knew that he didn’t deserve a second chance with her, not after stealing her mother’s cross.

Tucked into his jacket pocket were a few sheets of paper. Even now he didn’t know if it was right or if it would work. He crossed the empty roads and passed closed shops. In front of the hospital, he paused. Last time he’d been here the police had brought him, more goblin than man, confused and scared. He touched the healed wound on his head. This time he wasn’t injured. Could he just walk in?

He had no backup plan. He didn’t know where Nadine lived, only that she worked here at night and ran through the park in the morning. If she wasn’t here, he would have to wait for her; although if it was him in her situation, he would find somewhere else to run.

What did he have to offer her?

Nothing. He was hardly a suitor of worth. He stared up at the hospital building. She hadn’t cared before…No, she hated that he’d been goblin. So did he, but he couldn’t change his past any more than she could change hers. All he had to offer was a future filled with love.

He drew in a breath of cold night air, rolled his shoulders, and walked through the glass doors marked emergency. A wave of heat, sharp white light, and bitter antiseptic rolled over him. He pushed through, even though he’d rather wait outside in the cool air. This time the waiting room was nearly empty.

Like the police had done when they brought him in, he walked to the counter. Nadine wasn’t there; her friend Gina was.

“Can I help you?” Gina’s gaze raked over him as if his presence offended her.

“I’d like to see Nadine.”

Gina raised her eyebrows and looked away. “This is emergency not a dating service. Do you have an emergency?”

Meryn stood his ground even though he wanted to leave. He didn’t have a medical emergency, but if he left now, he’d wonder the rest of his life about what might’ve been with the woman who knew half the story of the Goblin King and his men. “If I don’t get to see her and make amends, I will have lost her forever.”

The woman glanced up from her paperwork, but this time she really looked at him. Her eyes narrowed a fraction. “You hurt her.”

The nurse drew the first blood in the battle with her pointed comment. He’d truly wounded Nadine and she’d told her friend. He deserved this woman’s scorn, but he didn’t turn away from the heartache. He embraced it. Living meant feeling. He would rather hurt than be numbed to everything but gold.

“I didn’t mean to.”

“Why would I let you see her?”

“Because…because I love her and need another chance to prove it.” He wished he’d had a chance to tell Nadine how he felt before everything had fallen apart.

Gina considered him for a moment before shaking her head. “Then you’d better double up like you have appendicitis.”

Appendicitis?
Meryn frowned.

The nurse rolled her eyes. “Grip you stomach like you have sharp pains and I’ll get you through the door.”

He grimaced and folded his arm across his gut like he was stopping it from falling out. The nurse ticked a few boxes on a form. “What’s your surname, Meryn?”

“Knight, as in shining armor.”

The nurse’s lips moved as she tried to hide a smile. “Let’s get you through so you can be seen.”

“Thank you,” he said through his teeth as if raked with pain.

“Don’t thank me yet.”

She indicated the door at the side and Meryn walked over, still holding his stomach. Was it for the benefit of the people waiting or the other nurses who’d watched them speak? For a moment, a stab of guilt leant its weight to his faked illness. He was taking up nurses’ time when there were people waiting. He glanced again at the few people in the waiting room. There were no children and no one was bleeding or unconscious. And while he was sure they wouldn’t agree, he had to see Nadine.

Gina took him into a small room. “I’ll let Nadine know you’re in here. If she won’t see you, you’ll have to leave. And if you make a scene, I’ll call security.”

“I understand.”

Gina hesitated. “I’ve never seen her so upset. You must have really gotten to her.” Then she closed the door after herself.

Meryn sat on the edge of the high, narrow bed. His nose wrinkled at the strong smell that seemed to be part of the hospital. Beyond the door he could hear talking, someone crying. But in the room it was quiet, still, and bland. Different shades of white and off-white blended together as if someone had created a sterilized version of the Shadowlands.

It was strangely calming. He let out a sigh and rolled his shoulders. The muscles in his back remained tight, as if he were bracing for a blow he couldn’t yet sense.

What if Nadine refused to see him?

Should he wait for her outside the hospital and hope to see her? The building was huge. If he waited on the wrong side he might never see her. Did he try again tomorrow? Or did he walk away, knowing she could find him when she was ready?

He flexed his fingers and forced his mind to be still. Chasing himself in circles wouldn’t make the waiting pass any faster. Better to be calm. Or at least try and be calm. He closed his eyes and breathed as if he had no worries. Those moments before a fight were always clearest. The plans were made; everything was ready. Nothing else to be done except fight. What was at risk and what was to gain hung in the balance.

For the man that he’d been, it was the promise of a better life for his family. He’d seen how the Roman soldiers treated the young women of the Decangli. His daughters weren’t going to be whores to the legion. He’d supported the rebellion in the hope of being free from the invaders.

For the goblin he’d become, it had always been about gold. Life wasn’t worth living without more.

For the man he was now, it was about restoring honor and being someone worthy of loving, being human and all the hurt and joy that entailed. That meant accepting that Nadine may not be able to see past her fear of goblins and see him as a man.

She may not want to see him at all.

***

“There is a gorgeous guy faking appendicitis to see you in room two.” Gina pulled Nadine aside.

“There’s a man here to see me?” Nadine caught up with Gina’s rapid whisper.

“Gray eyes, fashionable stubble, you know, the boyfriend you brought to my wedding, the one you refused to talk about today even though your eyes were red from crying.”

Oh God. Meryn was here. “You admitted him?”

She wasn’t ready to see him again. Maybe she’d never be ready to see him. He was wrong for her. He was an ex-Celtic goblin. What if he turned back?

“No. I snuck him in and put him in a private examination room. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.” Nothing she was going to share anyway. She’d almost called in sick to avoid seeing Gina, but spending the night at home alone hadn’t appealed, so she’d come in and plastered on her fake, I’m-fine smile, which apparently Gina now saw through.

“So you didn’t fight with your boyfriend and he likes to come begging to see you because he enjoys apologizing for no reason?”

“Okay.” She had to tell Gina something so then she could go and get rid of Meryn. “We argued and I learned something about him, and it’s not going to work. Now you can tell him to leave.”

Gina shook her head. “You can do that. He didn’t look like the type who just lets people walk away without a reason. Damn, I can’t believe you let him go after one argument. Everyone loved him at the wedding, even Bryce. What did he do, try to get to know you?”

Nadine crossed her arms. “Very funny. He knows too much. It’s weird.”

Having someone to talk to about her family and her fear of goblins had been nice, but it had gotten out of control too fast. Meryn made her realize that it was possible to fall in love, before stealing her heart and becoming her worst nightmare. She suppressed a shudder even though her skin craved his touch. She didn’t know if she could get past the time he’d spent as a goblin. Did he deserve a second chance when he’d lied to her?

“That ‘weird’ is called a relationship. And if you don’t get used to it and give people a chance, you’ll end up like my canary-loving, single aunt.”

“I don’t even like pet birds.” They should be free to fly, not caged. “Please get rid of him…tell him I’m busy.”

Busy had been her excuse during school and university. Now it was that she worked unsociable hours. While she liked men, she didn’t trust them. But Meryn had been there when the thieves had attacked. He’d told her everything when she’d demanded and she’d repaid him by yelling and running.

“If you don’t want to see him, you go and tell him it’s over.” Gina pointed down the corridor to room two. “And I promise not to let him in again.”

“No. I’m working.” She could be just as stubborn as Gina.

“Take a break. Seriously, Nadine, men like him don’t come around that often. So unless he’s an ax-wielding maniac, give him a chance.”

What could she say? He was a sword-wielding ex-goblin?

She wasn’t sorry the truth had come out but she was scared of who he was, of the life he’d lived over the past two thousand years. He had life experiences she couldn’t relate to…and he was trying to adapt to the modern world. Nadine frowned. He was actually doing a really good job. Better than she’d be doing if she’d been thrown back into Roman-occupied Britain.

But she still didn’t know what to say to him and she wasn’t ready to talk to him about anything that had been said. “Okay. I’ll get rid of him.”

Gina shook her head. “You’re throwing away a man willing to grovel to get you back.”

Nadine gave Gina a half smile. “Meryn doesn’t grovel.”

While he’d stood naked and argued with her, she couldn’t picture him on his knees for anyone.

“Oh yeah, what does he do?”

“I don’t know.” Why had he come back? Hadn’t it been clear she didn’t want to see him again when she stormed out? In another day, maybe two, she might be ready to think through their fight. And in a day or three she might have convinced herself that it wasn’t worth the hassle being with someone. The tiniest part of her wanted to know why he was here. He’d clawed his way back from goblin, become a modern man, and ensnared her heart in the process.

“Find out,” Gina said.

Nadine stared at her supposed friend who was refusing to get rid of the man she shouldn’t have snuck in. “Fine.”

She strode down the corridor determined not to give Meryn a chance to explain. He was wrong—wrong for her, wrong in this time. She pushed open the door. The anger and hurt she’d been holding on to like a shield fractured when she saw him. For a heartbeat she paused, unable to move. When she was near him she couldn’t think of anything but him and everything he’d been through to get to where he was. A man, not a goblin.