Forever (4 page)

And, he considered, wouldn’t it be best if he chose someone his new host was already heavily attracted to? There was nothing wrong with stacking the deck in his favor, and he was not above it in the least. It was what marked the greatest of leaders, the ability to use whatever one could to bring harmony between two disparate worlds and make them as one in purpose
.

“Time to give this pup some dinner and well-deserved rest,” Jackson said to Manheim after clearing his throat so the sudden licks of desire sliding through him at the thought of Marissa wouldn’t come out in his voice.

“No kidding. Want to catch a beer at Pauly’s?”

Jackson shook his head in the negative, even though part of him was wondering why he was no longer interested in going to have a beer with the guys. He used to like doing that. A lot. And from the look crossing Manheim’s face,
he
was wondering what was up with him just as much as Jackson was. That wasn’t good. He was supposed to be keeping a low profile, so that no one questioned him about any differences in his character. He understood why, of course. During the Blending process he and Menes were extremely weak and extremely vulnerable, even despite Menes’s great powers. So it was best to remain inconspicuous until it was complete. As it was, and as he had been made to understand it, the huge display of power he’d shown moments after waking up with Menes inside of him had done damage to the Blending process, slowing it down considerably. It had taken his sister Docia only a week, maybe two, to fully Blend with her Bodywalker. That was not the case with him. Although Menes was apparently doing some of this on purpose so Jackson could maintain life in the sun for a little while longer. Or so he thought. The former and present pharaoh was not exactly a wordsmith. Which was good, Jackson supposed. It would suck to spend the rest of his life chained up with a chatterbox.

He walked away from the field after a wave of acknowledgment to Manheim and some of the officers who’d been watching at the edge of the arena. He’d practiced in full uniform, as usual. It helped define for the dog the difference between friendly combatants in a situation and unfriendly ones.

It was peculiar, really, Jackson thought for the hundredth
time know how much he means tovg. as he looked down at his dog in bewilderment. Until recently Sargent wanted to obey him just about as often as a rabbit wanted to jump into a roasting pan of its own free will. Then it had been like someone had flipped on a switch inside the little bugger and now he was doing everything and anything in his doggy power to do all that Jackson asked of him. Eventually Jackson had to concede that perhaps Sargent hadn’t been the problem. Animals were very intuitive. In all probability Sargent had been able to tell right off that Jackson hadn’t wanted anything to do with him. Not through any fault of his own, but because Jackson hadn’t been over Chico just yet.

Funny how that all felt so distant now. As though it had been another lifetime. He had been so consumed with the strange experience of having to share his consciousness with someone else … someone very dominant and very powerful, that he hadn’t had time for wallowing. He had moved on with his life. Or rather, his post-near-death. He supposed that was the most sobering thing about all of this. If not for Menes’s interference and selection of him for host, he would be dead. He would have left his sister all alone in the world. No parents. No siblings. No …

Well, there was Ram, he conceded reluctantly. And because Docia was host to another Bodywalker, named Tameri, he supposed she would never be alone again for the rest of her life. But outsiders were one thing, and family quite another. He for one didn’t know what he would do without Docia. She was the only family he had left … outside of Leo. But the badass mercenary wasn’t blood. He was more like a brother of the soul. The two of them had raised Docia together and Leo had been there for him through some of the toughest times of his life.

He had been avoiding his best friend ever since the
scene of his “death.” He didn’t know what Leo had made of what he had seen, and he had seen a lot. He had also killed Odjit, the vicious leader of the Templars, a sect of the Bodywalkers that was actively carrying on a civil war against the Politic, the lawful part of the Bodywalkers of whom Menes was the ruler. But Leo, as well as Marissa, had been made to believe everything they had experienced in that moment was nothing but a dream. So neither had any idea that Jackson had died and that Odjit had been killed.

But Menes had assured Jackson that like a hydra, the Templars would grow a new head quickly. This came as no great surprise to him. Knowing what a never-ending battle that was, he did not envy Menes his position.

Their
position.

You will have to quit soon
, Menes said with little gentility.
Surely you realize that? The Politic awaits our leadership in New Mexico. Even your sister has left to go there with Ram as he holds the government center for me during our Blending. What is the purpose of training this animal when you know you must leave him?
Menes reached out with Jackson’s hand and rubbed at the dog’s ears.
He is a fine beast, and you are making it difficult for him to do his job well if you don’t transition him to a new owner as soon as possible
.

Jackson didn’t respond. He knew he was in some sort of denial, and he knew every word was the truth. That didn’t make it any easier. To leave everything he knew? To leave a lifetime’s work behind and force new, unappreciable goals onto himself? He resisted the thought of it with every fiber of his being. He loved being a cop. The law is what he excelled at. What he thrived for. And the K-9 unit … he would have been content to stay in the un know how much he means tovg.it until he retired.

But he’d made a deal with Menes, and now he must
honor that. Menes had held up his end. He had brought him back to life. Now …

He knelt down beside Sargent, tousling him roughly, patting his dense, muscular body until the dog was grunting with pleasure. It was then that he realized just how attached the dog had become in spite of Jackson’s months of recalcitrance. Jackson wouldn’t be the only one affected when he was compelled to quit, leaving the dog behind to connect to a new handler. Perhaps he
was
being selfish, training Sargent now and allowing him to imprint on him as a companion, as if they truly were going to become a warrior team when he knew there was no enduring future for them whatsoever. The understanding made him frown as he stood up, his heart feeling a bit heavier as he entered the building, Sargent trotting perfectly at his side.

Sargent’s training was showing impressively as the dog resisted all the smells of the food the dinner shift was partaking of. Jackson’s dog was especially fond of hotdogs, and Detective Wells had two sitting in a takeout box on his desk. But Sargent simply walked by, only his nose flaring in recognition of the coveted scent.

Then, unexpectedly, Jackson was pulled back by Sargent’s leash. The dog sat dead still, his butt hitting the floor and his heavy body becoming suddenly unmovable. “Come on boy,” he instructed, his hand signal to retrieve the dog automatic as he made the command.

Sargent stayed.

The door he was near opened, and out stepped Marissa Anderson. She came up short at the sight of the dog, rocking back a little on her fiercely high heels. Honestly? As tall as she was, why the heck did she have to wear those killer heels? Other than to accentuate her long, gorgeous legs and the way her snug skirt loved up against her delectable backside, that is.

He saw her hands lift up in withdrawal, as if she were afraid Sargent would bite her.

“He won’t hurt you,” he felt compelled to say, even though she should’ve already known that given all the time she spent among cops and, most especially, her time talking to him about Chico’s death.

“I know. I’m sure he’s a very nice dog,” she said, a tremulous tone underlying the stern bravado she was mustering up. Still, she couldn’t hide the stressed tension in her body as she leaned away from the dog.

“Are you afraid of dogs?” he queried her directly, studying her face carefully for tells. The desperation in her eyes on his told him that he was right.

“Not at all,” she lied. “Could you please move him out of my way? I do have things to do.”

Damn. Damn damn damn. Why was it the more tightly wound and aloof she acted the more he wanted to rip it all down, leaving her vulnerable to him and opening her up to the idea that a grunt cop had a hell of a lot of
physical
therapy to offer the highly educated, perfectly poised, and consummately professional doctor.

“Chico, come.” Jackson commanded his dog.

The entire corridor seemed to go still. Marissa. Jackson. The two cops that had been chatting it up a few feet away. Jackson felt a chill walk up his spine and a sickly rush of regret and pain swam in his gut. It was a command he had given over and over again for years. It was still second nature.

And, God love him, as thoughag. Sargent stood up and came immediately to heel, clearly knowing what Jackson had meant to say and making no notice of the slip. He took no offense. It only solidified Jackson’s admiration and connection toward the canine cop.

But the humans around them were another story. They were suddenly watching him with an almost eager
sort of wariness, as if they were staring at the high adrenaline danger of a ticking bomb.

“It’s only natural to become victim to longtime habits,” Marissa said softly, soothingly, as she put a gentle hand atop his biceps, her fingers warm through the fabric of his uniform shirt. He could smell her now and almost instantly the calamitous emotions caused by his faux pas were forgotten and other sensations rushed up to replace them. She smelled of sweetness, like fresh-baked cookies made with warm, gooey chocolate. It made him want to nibble and lick and …

He jerked his thoughts away when he felt himself getting hard. He drew away from her, turning his back to her, shutting down her empathy and ignoring her nearness the best he could.

“It happens,” he said with a shrug. He paused to give a hard look to the other two cops in the hall who immediately moved along and resumed their conversation.

“Do you want to …?” Marissa began predictably.

“Jesus, Doc,” he snapped shortly, “why does every little thing need to be talked about? That’s a hell of a world you live in. If I took time to kick around every stray feeling or negative thought I had I’d never get anything done.”

She bristled, as she invariably did when he dismissed the effectiveness of her work.

“I was just—”

“Well don’t,” he bit out, cutting her off. “I don’t need your mothering and fussing.” Then, without understanding why he did it, he turned back to her and stepped into her personal space. She immediately took a step back, but the wall was directly behind her now and she found herself pressed back into the painted cinder blocks. Oh, he knew it was playing with fire, bordering on insubordination and about to cross into sexual harassment, but he also couldn’t seem to make himself
care enough to back off. “Unless you have other ways you’d like to fuss over me,” he said, his voice dropping so only she could hear him, and so there was no mistaking the intent of the remark.

She drew in a small, startled breath, holding it as she stared up at him and searched for a response that wouldn’t immediately come. As he looked down into her eyes he confessed to himself that he’d always found the blue-green color of them to be compelling and beautiful.

Pupils dilated. Pulse beating rapidly at the base of her long, beautiful neck
, he heard ghosting through his thoughts.
Whatever she says, she is aroused by our suggestion
.

Our.

The pronoun in his mind caused him to falter and he stepped back awkwardly. Our. He was no longer a “me” or an “I.” He was a “we” and an “us.” He no longer spoke for only himself, and he no longer had his own mind and solely his own impulses to control.

He was searching for a graceful exit out of a situation of his own making when someone came running up to him, out of breath and clearly overexerted. Then again, Tim McMullen was always out of breath and overexerted. He’d put on as thoughag. quite a bit of weight over the years and probably hadn’t seen the inside of a gym since academy training.

“Jacks! Jacks, there’s a kid missing. Riley’s on vacation in Albany with his family,” he puffed, even though Jackson already knew the other K-9 officer was away. “The captain wants to know if you think Sargent is ready to help us out.”

“Whether he is or isn’t,” Jackson said, “it’s better than nothing.”

“I’ll come too,” Marissa said. “The family is going to need someone.”

“Took my next words out of my mouth, Doc,” Tim said with a toothy grin.

Marissa hadn’t realized that going to the scene of the missing child meant she would be forced to ride shotgun with the very officer she’d been trying to avoid for weeks. She supposed she could have taken her own car, but then he would have known just how much he was getting to her and she refused to give him the satisfaction. Let him stew and wonder, the little bastard. She was tired of this whole situation. Tired of having her sleep ruined every single night because he had wormed his way into her subconscious. And because of that disturbed sleep, she was just plain tired.

In the backseat Sargent was pacing back and forth, getting on her nerves with his whining. Jackson must have noticed her tension because he said, “He knows something is up.”

“I imagine the siren is a dead giveaway,” she said dryly.

“It is, actually, even though he hasn’t got too much experience with it. We’ve exposed him to it several times already to get him used to the sound, and he associates it with training, which is exciting and rewarding as far as he’s concerned.”

Marissa stole a glance at him. Although he was trying to adopt a laissez-faire attitude, he had a white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel. She wished she could read his mind and figure out why. Was it anxiety about working in the field for the first time with a new dog since Chico’s death? Was it tension from the interrupted moment of sensuality between them that still had her heart beating wildly?