Forever Altered (3 page)

Rocco

While
walking away from Alyssa earlier, I couldn’t help but want to take her all the
way to her apartment door.  It took everything in me not to turn around
and watch her as she disappeared from sight.  If these bastards knew I was
interested in this girl, they would harass the shit out of me.  Even
worse, they’d harass her and then she’d probably never talk to me again. 
I’m not sure what’s up with her, but she seems so unhappy, broken even.  I
would give anything to fix whatever it is.  Damn, this is totally not like
me at all.

When
I walked in the laundry room last week, she was turned away from me so I could
barely see her face.  Her brown, curly hair was hanging half way down her
back.  The tank top and shorts she had on would have been enough to make
me stop and check her out anyway, but it was the hopeless look in her
beautiful, green eyes when she turned to face me that really caught my
attention.  For the first time in my life, I couldn’t come up with a damn
thing to say to a girl.  I’m not sure how long I stood there staring at
her, but she looked away putting the rest of her clothes in the dryer murmuring
some sort of apology and saying she’d be out of the way in a
second.  

“No
problem.  Take your time,” I replied dropping my bag of dirty clothes next
to the washer.  She pulled out a Philadelphia Phillies shirt from the
washer and was putting it on a hanger.  I’m not a fan of Philadelphia
anything, but baseball was something that I could talk about.  “They
didn’t have such a great season, did they?”  She turned to me again. 
The look on her face was almost like she was wondering why I would talk to
her.  That was when I noticed her eyes weren’t just sad, but had also been
bloodshot like she was crying.  What could have made this girl so
upset?  If it was some guy, I would gladly beat the shit out of him. 
Why the hell did I care that this girl was crying?  When she didn’t say
anything, I nodded towards the shirt in her hand.  She seemed to catch on
to what I was talking about.

“No,
they didn’t.”  She went back to what she was doing.  Any other girl
would have been jumping at the chance to talk to me and I could barely keep her
talking.  “It kind of sucks when your favorite team doesn’t even make the
playoffs,” she finally added.  She finished up switching her wash over and
turned the dryer on.  She left her laundry basket next to the dryer and
grabbed the few shirts she had hung up before walking around me to the
door.  She shrugged her shoulders.  “There’s always next year,” was
the last thing she said before she walked out and around the corner.  The
only reason I didn’t follow her was I didn’t want her to think that I was some
kind of stalker if she happened to turn around and see me.

It
wasn’t until Monday that I saw her again.  I recognized her in my Cell Bio
class.  I’m really not sure how I never noticed her before.  She
walked in a few minutes before the lecture started and made her way to the back
of the room to one of the few seats left open.  Once she sat down and
settled in with her notebook in front of her, pen in her hand, I realized she
still had that sullen
expression.  I found
myself watching her throughout the lecture, wondering what was going on with
her, and trying to come up with an excuse to talk to her again.  As soon
as Dr. Willis dismissed us, I saw her throw her stuff in her backpack and there
was enough time to make it outside the door before her.  I didn’t
anticipate being stopped before getting out of the room.

“Hey,
Rocco,” Carrie said blocking the aisle.  “Where are you off to in such a
hurry?”  She was one of those girls who made herself look so easy. 
It was nauseating that some girls had no self-respect.  I knew that I
could take this girl back to her room right now and do whatever I wanted to
her.  Even if I wasn’t trying to catch this girl, Carrie wouldn’t stand a
chance.  I have no tolerance for her. 

“I
need to take care of something, Carrie.  I’ll see you around,” I pushed
passed her before she could say anything else.  I knew it was rude, but it
didn’t matter to me. Of course, the brown haired girl was nowhere to be
found.  She wasn’t anywhere in sight outside of the building either. 

The
next time I saw her was when she walked into lab this morning a few minutes
late.  She hesitated as she stepped inside before making her way to her
seat.  The stool next to her was open and I was hoping her lab partner
wouldn’t show up.  I would definitely go up and offer to be her partner
for the day.  Just in case, I started gathering up my stuff.  Then
when Dr. Willis said her partner dropped, I felt like a kid on Christmas
morning.  It didn’t take long for me to head up to the open spot next to
her. 

What
I didn’t expect was how this girl somehow manages to send me on an emotional
roller coaster.  At first, she just sat there staring at me.  The
look on her face was a mix of confusion and something else.  Maybe,
disgust?  She was hard for me to read.  I considered returning to my
seat alone in the back.  I was glad something made me stay when she
explained why she was so quiet.  It was hard as hell to stifle my laugh
when she said she sucked in Cell Bio.  I know there must have been a
stupid ass grin plastered on my face, but I was so relieved her hesitation had
nothing to do with me.  Then when she didn’t remember talking to me just
last week, she crushed me again.  Starting the lab was the only way to
keep from staring at her.  There was no way she was going to see how she
affected me.

As
she tried to figure out what page the lab was on, I reminded her of our brief
conversation in the laundry room.  I let her struggle for a few moments to
find it before telling her the page number that was written on the white board
at the front of the room.  Then she said something about having a bad
month, so I took a chance at trying to get her to open up.  She didn’t go
for it, but the smile she gave me instead, along with calling me a ‘super hero’
was much more rewarding.  “I’ll take it, for now,” I mumbled to myself.

Throughout
the experiment, I found myself studying Alyssa more than what was under the
microscope.  The way she bit the one side of her bottom lip when she was
confused about something.  How her eyes would light up and she’d smile
when I’d explain something to her and she finally got it.  She would erase
what she was writing over and over if it wasn’t as perfect as she would like
it.  I also noticed things she didn’t do.  She never once touched her
hair.  She didn’t have a fake laugh when I talked.  She never tried
to get me to look at any other part of her, not that I wasn’t trying.  The
most important thing I noticed was the whole time we were working, the sadness
that had been on her face every other time I’d seen her was gone.  

 When
she offered to write the lab up by herself, I felt as though she knocked the
wind out of me again.  I wanted nothing more than to spend time with her
outside of here and she was taking away my best excuse to do that.  Then
my stupid ass had to go and make her think she was incapable of doing the lab
on her own.  If she only knew how impressed I was that she was so
smart.  After smoothing that over, I set up a time to work on it as soon
as possible.  Hell, I would have gone back to her room right then to work
on it.  Of course, my roommates had to be waiting for me at the worst
possible time.        

Now
I’m sitting here in the dining hall with them, but thinking about her.  I
sent her a couple texts but she only replied to the first one and it was only
with a smiley face.  Normally, I would think that’s cute, but I want to
talk to her.  I should have blown them off and walked with her.  I
wonder why she isn’t texting me back. 

“
Yo
, Matthews.  What the fuck, man?”  Logan tosses
a fry at me and it lands in my lap.  Obviously, he had been trying to get
my attention.  I glare over at him and he knows I’m about to punch him for
throwing food at me.  “What do you think?  You in?”

“Am
I in for what?” I ask irritated then throw the fry on the table in front of
him.

“What
the hell?”  Now Shane is going to get on my back.  I shouldn’t be
distracted by her not texting me back.  These guys are going to pick up on
it.

“We
want to hit a bar off-campus tomorrow night.  I’m getting sick of the
chicks here,” Logan says.  “It’s time for a challenge.”  A
challenge?  He means he wants to find someone who doesn’t know him, so
maybe he’ll have a chance at getting laid. 

“I’ll
let you know.  I have some shit to take care of,” I say because I’d rather
not tell them I’m meeting Alyssa.  “If I get done early enough, I’ll let
you know.”

“What
shit?” Shane is a pain in my ass.

“I
have to meet with my lab partner and write up a lab.  It probably won’t
take that long.”

“You
douchebag!” Logan says.  They are all staring at me smirking.  “You
want her.  I fucking knew it.” He starts laughing, but I don’t think he’s
funny.

“I
don’t
want
her, asshole.”  The second it leaves my mouth, I realize
it’s a lie.  “It’s
gotta
get done.  I’m
free, she’s free.  No big deal.”

“I
thought you always worked alone on that shit?  How come you have a partner
all of a sudden?” Shane asks.

“Her
partner dropped the class today and I was the only other free person. 
It’s really not a big deal.” 

“You
said that.”  I can tell he’s trying to figure out what’s going on in my
head.  I don’t usually keep this kind of shit from him.  “She’s in my
Accounting class.  Alyssa, right?” I nod at Shane.  I’m a little
pissed that he knows her and I’m even more pissed it bothers me that he knows
her.  “Wonder why she is taking both a science class like Cell Bio and a
business class like Accounting.  What’s her major?”

“Don’t
know,” I admit.

“So,
what is it about her that interests you?  She doesn’t seem like your
type.”

“I
told you, Shane.  She’s just my lab partner.”

“She’s
cute, but you normally go for the girls who drool all over you and dress like
sluts.  I didn’t see any drool and she definitely doesn’t dress like
that.  She may be good for you.”

“Well,
well, well.  Look who just came in.”  As Logan says that, a jolt of
excitement that Alyssa may be here races through me.  She’s handing the
lady at the door her card to scan when my eyes finally find her.  She’s
with two other girls and one of them is Julia, Tommy’s girl.  Julia is
always partying with us and she has never brought any other girl except for her
roommate, Erin, with her.  “Thought she was just your lab partner, Matthews?”
I turn to look at him and his smirk is back.  Knowing there is nothing to
say that will convince him otherwise, my mouth stays shut.  Even though
the guys are now watching me, I cannot help but look for her to come out into
the Dining Hall. 

As
the three of them walk to a table across the room from us, I see Alyssa is
actually laughing at something one of the girls is saying.  I didn’t think
it was possible, but she’s even prettier when she’s laughing.  Even from a
distance, it’s obvious that whatever had been bothering
her
has returned.  Maybe Julia will tell me what is going on with her. 

“Since
we’re finished, let’s go say hi before we head out.”  Logan is standing
and gathering his crap.

“No,
man.  Leave her alone,” I say even though I’m all for it.  We put our
trays on the counter then head over to their table.

“Hey,
Jules.  Didn’t think you’d be functioning after last night.  You
looked pretty wrecked,” Logan blurts out as the three of them look up. 
Alyssa and the other girl exchange a look before Alyssa’s bright green eyes
settle on mine.  She looks shocked to see me.

“Please,
Logan.  I could out drink you any day.  Don’t insult me,” Julia
answers but she’s looking at me.  “Hey, Rocco.  What’s up?”  I
nod towards her.  “Guys, these are the girls Erin and I live with, Leah
and Alyssa.”  She motions towards the four of us, “Logan, Shane, Troy, and
Rocco,” she says.  Small exchanges are made. 

I’ll
regret it if I don’t take the chance to talk to her.  “Hey partner,” I say
and it gets me a small smile.  Since the other guys sat down with them, I
slide into the chair next to her, no doubt intentionally left open for me by my
friends.

“Hey,”
she says.  “Thanks again for your help today.”

“No
problem.”  I like that she’s talking to me.  I was afraid she would
be uncomfortable since my text messages went unanswered.  “Maybe I’ll even
be able to get you an A before this semester is over.”

She
laughs lightly, “I really doubt that.”  My hands are sweaty, so I lean
forward putting my elbows on my knees and my hands under the table.  “I
really don’t get it.  I’ve never had trouble in any class I’ve ever taken
before.  You must think I’m a total idiot.”  Before I can answer her,
Shane has to open his big mouth. 

“Why
are you taking that class, anyway?” he asks her.  Alyssa looks away from
me and over at him.  Damn him for interrupting our conversation. 
He’s really pissing me off today.  “I’m in your Accounting class.  It
just seems like an odd combination of classes.”

“I’m
in an Allied Health program, but my concentration is Administration and
Management.  Lucky me.  I get to take hard science classes and boring
business classes,” she explains.