Forever and Always (20 page)

“
Really good.” Ryan
smiled.

I rolled my eyes. “Just because I’m
close to you doesn’t mean you have to go into the
details.”

Ryan ignored me. “She gives good
head.”

“
Don’t be gross,” I
snapped.

Cortland nodded. “Monnique does too,
which is a relief. I could never get Elizabeth to do anything
unconventional.”

Ryan nodded. “Well, I don’t have that
problem with her.” He smiled.

Janice came back from the bathroom and
returned to her seat. “What were you talking about?”

“
Ryan says you give good
head,” I said.

Janice smiled at Ryan. “Well, that was
kinda personal.”

“
It’s a compliment.” He
shrugged. He wasn’t embarrassed at all.

She rolled her eyes and looked
away.

“
I hope you’re comfortable
with everyone knowing everything about your relationship,” I
warned. “Because Ryan likes to blab about it.”

“
As long as it stays
within the four us, I don’t care.”

My cup was only half empty, but I
didn’t want it anymore. My appetite suddenly vanished. Cortland and
Ryan were both finished with theirs, and I could tell Janice was
done drinking her shake because she pushed it away from her. Ryan
pressured her to eat more, but Janice never had an appetite. She
would eat a few bites here and there but she wasn’t back to her
normal weight. Moving from New York and quitting her job were
factors that continued to stress her out, but I hoped she would
return to normal in a few weeks.

“
Are you guys ready?” I
asked. “Janice and I need to get to work.”

We left the diner and returned back to
the apartment. When we were inside, Janice and I opened our laptops
on the kitchen table while Ryan and Cortland sat in the living room
watching television. Janice had a week to adjust to her new living
situation, and now it was time for us to begin our business
relationship.

I showed her the website and gave her
access to the email address. “You can take as many manuscripts as
you can at a time, but you need to have a quick turn over rate—my
reputation depends on it. You can keep the entire payment as your
income, and all the revenue I make from my own projects is
mine.”

Janice scrolled through the website
and saw the books I had already edited in my name. “Christine
Dirkson is your client?” she asked incredulously.

“
She came to me directly
after she became too frustrated working with Carl. She decided she
would rather self-publish than subject her work to the demands of
someone else.”

“
Is that why you charge so
much?” she asked. “Two thousand dollars per manuscript is insane,
Scarlet. I mean, that’s an
insane
amount of money.”

I opened the email account and browsed
through my inbox. “There are already two new people interested in
having me complete their work. That’s one for you and one for
me.”

“
This is amazing,
Scarlet.”

“
I know,” I said. “It’s
been paying for our rent, food, and utilities for a while. Ryan’s
business is slow and he’s only breaking even every
week.”

“
So, you’re supporting
him?”

“
Only for now.”

“
Well, we can use my
income for rent and other things, too.”

I smiled at her. “Don’t worry about
it, Janice. The arrangement is temporary. When Ryan starts gaining
steady business again, I’ll stop paying the rent and get a place of
my own.”

“
You’re going to move
out?” she asked in surprise.

“
Yes,” I said. “I never
planned on staying here forever. I’ve only been here because I had
nowhere else to go.”

“
Is it because of me?” she
asked.

“
Of course not, Janice,” I
said. “But I need my own space and so does Ryan—you and
Ryan.”

“
Well, can I move out with
you?” she asked. “I love staying here, but I don’t want to mess up
this relationship. It might be best if I move out.”

“
It’s up to you,” I said.
“We can talk about it when the time comes. There is no way to tell
how long that will be.”

Janice nodded. “I still want to help
out, Scarlet. I insist.”

“
Well, you can help Ryan
pay off his old equipment. He is still in debt from
that.”

“
Of course,” she said. “I
will. I want to help out as much as possible. We are in this
together.”

Her generosity made me feel a pang of
guilt. I didn’t call her for weeks and left her completely alone,
wondering what happened to me. She hadn’t done anything wrong and I
never had the integrity to say anything to her. “I miss this,” I
whispered.

“
I missed my best friend,
too.”

I smiled at her then looked down at
the computer screen. There was a knock on the door but Ryan was on
his feet before I could move.

“
I got it,” he said. Ryan
walked to the door and opened it. He stood there for a moment and
waited for the visitor to speak. The man was wearing a black suit
and was holding a single envelope.

“
Is Scarlet Reese
available?” he asked without preamble.

“
What is this regarding?”
Ryan asked.

“
Legal
affairs.”

Ryan turned to me and I walked to the
door. When I reached the entranceway, the man stared at me
blankly.

“
Are you Ms. Reese?” he
asked.

I nodded, too anxious to speak. He
handed me the envelope and walked away. When he was gone, I shut
the door and locked it then ran the envelope through my fingers.
Ryan started at it over my shoulder. The corner of the envelope
indicated it was from the government. I felt my heart hammer in my
chest. I already knew what it contained but I was still
frightened.

Cortland and Janice came into the
kitchen and stood in front of me, saying nothing as they stared at
me, unsure what to do. Ryan remained silent as he stood next to me,
waiting for me to open the letter.

I tore open the top and pulled out the
single page tucked inside. The black letters of the page jumped out
at me, but all I saw was the color red. I skimmed through the notes
then dropped my hands to my side.

“
I just got
served.”

Ryan sighed. “When?”

“
Next week,” I said
quietly. “If I don’t have thirty percent of the money before the
court date, then I’ll be sued.”

Ryan grabbed his head as he paced
through the kitchen. Janice ran her fingers through her hair as she
became lost in thought. Cortland stared right at me, like I was
about to combust into a million pieces.

“
I thought you said you
were going to figure this out,” Ryan said. “Scarlet—this is
serious.”

“
You think I don’t know
that?”

Ryan sighed. “What the fuck are we
going to do?”

“
Nothing,” I said. “There
is nothing we can do.”

Ryan ignored me. “Cortland, can we
borrow some money?”

“
No,” I snapped. “I refuse
to take money from friends.”

“
Why?” Ryan
asked.

“
I have no idea if I can
ever pay him back. I would much rather steal money from the
government than my own friends.”

“
You do realize that they
are going to take you for everything you have?” Ryan
snapped.

“
Then it’s a good thing I
don’t have anything.”

“
You have your company,”
he said. “They are going to take it away from you and sell
it.”

I dropped the letter on the ground and
looked at him. “What?”

Ryan didn’t repeat his words. My look
of dumbfounded heartbreak was enough to shut him up. Janice crossed
her arms over her chest and shifted her weight. The room was silent
after Ryan spoke.

“
They’ll take away my
company?” I whispered.

Ryan nodded.

Without thinking, I turned towards the
front door, grabbed my coat, and then walked out of the apartment.
Cortland and Ryan both stepped towards me, but I held up my hand.
“Let me go.” Cortland didn’t stop and he grabbed my arm. “I said
let me go.” Cortland released his hand after a moment of
hesitation.

I wasn’t sure where I was going or
what I was doing. I just knew that I had to run. My family was back
in the apartment, but I didn’t want them—I didn’t want anyone. My
company was finally a success and it was everything that I dreamed
it would be. After all that hard work, I had to give it up. It was
being taken away from me and there’s nothing I could do about it.
The tears fell down my face and made my vision blurry as I walked
down the main strip. It was dark outside, and only the lights of
the streetlamps guided my way through the night. It wasn’t safe to
walk around Seattle alone, but I didn’t care at that point.
Everything that I had worked for was crashing down. Without the
income from the company, I couldn’t support me and Ryan. He would
lose the shop and we would be homeless. I’d promised Janice a job,
but now I was about to screw her over.

I made it the pier and stopped when I
heard the ocean waves beat against the shore. I leaned over the
rail as I looked into the black waves below me. Their white caps
couldn’t be seen, but I could hear them crash against the beach.
The sound of crying seagulls entered my brain, but I didn’t listen
to it. I felt blind to the world.

A man stopped a few feet away from me
and I was suddenly aware of his close proximity. I glanced in his
direction and realized that Ryan was watching me, making sure I was
safe.

“
I can’t believe you
followed me,” I said.

Ryan placed his hands in his jacket
pockets and moved closer to me. “I can.”

“
I want to be alone,
Ryan.”

“
Then pretend I’m not
here.”

The ocean wind tickled my skin and
pulled the strands of hair from my face. The sting of the salty air
stung my nostrils and irritated my sinuses. I felt lost and
empty.

“
What if we change the
license to your name?” I asked. “They can’t take it away from me if
you own it.”

Ryan shook his head. “I don’t think
that will work,” he said. “They wouldn’t be suing you unless you
had something worth suing for. I am sure these lawyers did their
research—they know you have the company.”

I slammed my hand on the rail and
ignored the pain that shot through my arm. “Why is this happening
to me?” I asked. “I can’t catch a goddamn break.” I wasn’t just
referring to the company, but everything in my life. Sean continued
to screw up our relationship even though I believed he was
different now, and my life’s greatest accomplishment was all a
waste. “What’s the point?”

“
We are going to figure
this out, Scarlet.”

“
Don’t say that—it isn’t
true,” I snapped. “You’re going to lose the shop because of this—or
end up homeless.”

“
We’ll find a
way.”

I took a deep breath and slowed my
breathing. The tears were starting to creep from under my eyes, and
I fought them with all the strength I had. Crying would change
nothing, and I didn’t want to waste my time being
pathetic.

“
What do we do?” I
asked.

“
Hopefully, they’ll give
you an extension. Then we’ll leave the apartment and move in with
Cortland, pooling our money together until we pay off your
loan.”

“
And what if they don’t?”
I asked.

Ryan sighed. “We’ll deal with that
when the time comes.”

I backed away from the rail and placed
my hands in my pockets. Ryan stared at me for a moment then his
gaze moved to the people walking past us. It was obvious that Ryan
felt threatened by the tension in his body.

“
Let’s go home,” he
whispered. He grabbed my arm and pulled me from the rail. I could
tell by the force of his grip that he wouldn’t accept an argument
from me. We walked up the street towards the apartment. As we got
closer to home, Ryan started to ease up. He placed his arm around
me and I rested my head on his shoulder. When we made it back to
the apartment, Janice and Cortland were sitting on the couch
waiting for us.

“
I’m going to bed,” I said
without looking at them. I walked down the hall and closed my
bedroom door behind me. When I was alone with my thoughts, I
realized how Sean felt when he learned the truth about Penelope.
Reality was too harsh to bear and he turned to an escape, something
that I wanted at that moment. But I could never do that. I had a
family that I couldn’t let down—they needed me.

20

There were a few days before the court
date, so I spent that time doing everything I could to not think
about it. For the first time, I allowed myself to think about Sean
because it distracted my mind from my unavoidable fate. I wanted to
tell him about it, but I knew I couldn’t. He wasn’t in my life
anymore.