Forever Distraction (Distraction #3) (16 page)

Seriously
, she was worried about Bo?
Bo didn’t have a place in my life anymore. I was offered a partner position in my own club. “Yes, this is what I do. It’s what I’m great at. Sometimes you do things because it’s easy, not because you love it. Bo’s with Jessica until she finds a home for him.” I was cold and heartless. I wanted her to get the message; she needed to know not to show up here every night, because there was no way I was going to repeat this performance. I just didn’t care about her like I did before. At least, that was what I tried to convince myself.

I stood with a group of my fellow control
addicted men, completely ignoring the fucking sex-smelling beauty behind me. I watched as the men around me quieted momentarily and stared at her. I felt my fists ball and my jaw muscles flinch from the looks they were giving her. I would not share, not in here, and not with any of them. Alex was behind me standing next to and talking with Katarina.
He was a friend; he wouldn’t touch her
, I reminded myself. Anger and rage circulated through my body. It wasn’t blood anymore; it was a corrosive acid that ran black.

The blond
e barmaid offered me a drink and I ran my hand all the way down her naked back. Reaching her soft ass, I gave it a firm squeeze as a thank you. She all but purred and rubbed against me. This place was full of sex addicts; I would bet money she was with someone else fifteen minutes ago. I peered back at Katarina and her eyes where empty, so I gave her a nudge to get her to run away as fast as she could. I flashed her my ‘I couldn’t give a shit’ smile. There were defining moments in my life, moments that were filled with regret. Did I think this was one of them?
Hells yeah.
Did I choose to ignore it?
Abso-fucking-lutely
. Would I kick myself in the ass as soon as her feet stepped outside this building?
Without a doubt
. Could I stop myself from being a complete and utter ass-wipe?
Nope. My pride was on the line
.

“You and me,” I tossed my shoulders up for effect
, “I guess I just needed one for the road.” Her lips twitched at my words like she had something she wanted to say, but she couldn’t or wouldn’t let herself. I studied her face, daring her to say what she wanted. My stare was hard, and she returned it without fear, without cowering.

“So
, we’re even then. My grandfather killed Jacy and you shattered my heart.” Her eyes broke contact for a brief moment, and I watched her lips move, but nothing came out. When she opened her eyes, there was a change; she was all business…all fucking business. “I would much rather you break my heart than me break yours… so thanks for saving me.”

And that was fucking it. She left again, turned and walked out with her hand draped over Alex’s forearm
, and you know what I thought in that moment?
She didn’t fucking say goodbye
. I snatched the drink from the barmaid and slammed it down, tossing it back at her before storming in the opposite direction.
Fuck!
It was like my mind was officially blown. I was so angry I was dizzy. I paced behind the scenes until the place had cleared out. I witnessed about four men rifling through the security room, but I was only here to watch the kinky clientele and tonight was my last night. So unless I was personally involved, I was outta here.

Katarina

Crew and I slowly eased into the private club, the room we approached first looked more like an observation room. It had glass walls for viewing, and seats were placed just on the outside of the glass, giving the illusion you could see in and they couldn’t see out. The whole place was distraction central; I even forgot my purpose for being there. I directed Crew to the furthest seat in the row closest to the opening of the room itself and he sat. The seat was leather and looked like it belonged in an office somewhere, not in a night-slash-sex club. I maneuvered swiftly onto Crew’s lap, which startled him. It was obvious he didn’t expect me to do that.

“Crew,” I
leaned in to whisper, and then relaxed in his lap to make eye contact. His stormy grays met my blues and I waited until I could read him, until I could make sure he understood what I wanted from him. “Do you have a girlfriend or a wife?”

“No,”
was his answer, and the deadly, sexy smirk he shared with me was edible.

“I don’t either.” I
returned my version of his smile. I scanned around to the seats surrounding ours and then leaned in to seductively whisper in his ear, “Nobody will know if…just while we’re here, you’re my boyfriend.” I pulled back to check for understanding and for the first time ever, I saw Crew’s all-teeth grin. It was bright and gave me chills. “Is that a yes?”

He
lifted his chiseled chin in a slight nod and I sunk into his chest. He felt so strong, just like Jason. His heavy arms began to relax around me, and I felt attractive, and sexy, and secure. I adjusted my body to face the room. People were scattered throughout having sex. I focused on the four groups of people having sex directly in front of us. It was all very consensual, everyone enjoying themselves. My eyes roamed over to a threesome, two girls and a guy; one girl was on the bottom, the man going down on her, sucking her off, while the other woman kissed the lips of the girl being serviced. I heard her muffled moans and knew when she found her orgasm.

T
he group shifted, and the girl who was doing the kissing went on her hands and knees over the one on the floor. The man maneuvered behind her on his knees. The woman on the floor began to play with the dangling breasts above her, licking and kissing. I watched as he slowly penetrated the kneeling woman and she liked it, throwing her head back. He moved slowly, and the girl on bottom began to bathe the other’s boobs as her fingers slipped down to stimulate the woman’s clit.

I was fascinated
ly watching; everything looked gentle, soft, and erotic. I heard another loud moan and saw the top girl’s fingers curl. He moved a little faster, but not nearly as fast or as rough as Jason moved on me, and when I heard him groan, I watched him still inside her, and I couldn’t help imagining his come releasing inside her.

Crew and I stayed for a bit longer
, and I saw two girls kissing and pleasuring each other. Across the room was a couple with the woman on top. She had her pussy in his mouth first, massaging her body with her hands as he tongued her, and then she moved down his body to take hold of his penis, placing it inside her. She moved on him like she knew exactly how to use her body. He reached up and touched her breasts very gently, leaning his mouth up and suckling on each nipple. She got off while he was kissing her mouth, and then he positioned himself on top, slowly moved inside her, and continued kissing her. She moved her legs around his waist and he began a more solid thrusting. His body arched with his orgasm. The whole show was addictive, my body responding in ways I had missed. It was hypnotizing and difficult to tear my eyes away from.

I adjust
ed myself on Crew, curious about what he was thinking. I inched closer to his mouth, studying his lips before sealing mine over them. He tasted like black licorice, and the texture was soft and gentle. I kissed him slowly, and as his hand cupped my cheek gently, he kissed me back. I could feel him harden against the side of my thigh, and it was exhilarating to know my lips did that. I closed my eyes, lost in the kiss and the background moans, moving my tongue around his mouth, seeking something. I yanked his shirt out of his pants, wanting to feel his hard muscles. I felt his hot skin under the pads of my fingertips and continued up; his tight abs flexed under my hands as I inched closer to his heart. My hand felt hair, and I stopped kissing as I realized he wasn’t Jason.

I
squeezed my eyes tighter, telling myself I didn’t care it wasn’t Jason, even though I did. I didn’t have to initiate the kiss this time; Crew was in the zone. He kissed me with a certain urgency, like he couldn’t get enough of my mouth, but it was…off. The kiss was different. I wanted to feel more; I craved more. I wanted the sparks, the fireworks. I worked harder to reach the point that I needed, but nothing happened. I pulled back slightly disappointed and flashed him a nice smile. I stood up, and he got up slowly behind me. I hated myself in that moment. I hated that I used Crew to feel something, or not feel something. I looked away, disgusted with myself, and wiped the saliva, Crew’s saliva, off my mouth.

I slipped my arm under his again and we moved further into the club
. The noises changed from moaning to violent screams, and my grip tightened on Crew’s muscular arm. The rooms in this part of club were spread out and smaller. The space in the center was wide open, and a bar sat in the heart of it all. It was similar to the club I was in with Jason, except this club had a bigger bar area.

Crew walked over to where more chairs were placed outside
a bondage room for viewing. He took a seat and I eased into a padded folding chair next to him. I watched his face fall a little at the realization I wasn’t going to sit on his lap. The red velvety curtain to the area in front of us was opening, and more people gathered around. I only focused on the moving curtain and couldn’t believe how quiet it was, like my mind mentally blocked out all the background noise. The sharp sound of a whipped startled me. I felt myself literally leap into Crews arms, and what happened next…took my breath away.

A blond
e, slender lady with her arms strung above her head balanced on the tips of her toes. She had a blindfold on and something over her mouth resembling a ball with straps. Crew stiffened before he wrapped his arms tightly around me, suddenly overly protective. It was a horrifying scene; I covered my eyes as she was hit with something resembling a whip that had multiple tassels. The man hit her with force, and I could hear her screams through the mouthpiece. I buried my face in Crew’s chest, the sounds of her shrilling screams rattling around in my brain. Crew leaned in to me and whispered in my ear, “You want to leave?”

I couldn’t speak
. I inhaled deeply and sat back to take a longer look. The man had removed the mouth thing and she was screaming as each hard blow hit her. The man whispered things in her ear, and her mouth turned up in a flirtatious smile…and that was when my world stopped, and I realized who was hitting her.

It was my father
.

H
e held a longer whip now in his right hand. He flicked his wrist, the look on his face chillingly, disturbing. It was the same look he gave me when he whipped me with a belt. I started to shake; I couldn’t breathe. The thought of me being here…and him being here while he lashed someone…it was overwhelming. What he did to me in the closet was private, no one else was supposed to ever know. His chest was bare and he wore black slacks. My vision blurred when I heard the familiar voice above everyone else’s, my father’s.

“Girls need to be tough
,” he spoke in-between strokes of his whip. “Are you tough, angel?” He called her angel and my stomach curdled. He never called me angel; he would always whisper that I was a troubled girl. Her screams tore me from my thoughts. Then, my father’s frightening voice echoed throughout the room, “Of course you’re tough, and you can take it.” I heard the horrific sound of the whip. “Take it…” he repeated over and over. “You’re a troublemaker and you’re going to take it.” The whipping and the screaming continued and I froze, unable to move, blinded by the sight of my father whipping…
me
. That was all I saw as my father flipped his wrist and the end of the whip bit into the flesh of the young blonde.

A man stepped up behind my father and began undoing the straps holding the sobbing blond
e. She collapsed in his arms, and then the man laid her on the table and used his hands to rub oil on her body, dipping his fingers deep inside her and ordering her to come. She did loudly, and then he rolled her on her stomach, massaged her back and ass, and then plunged his cock deep inside her, making her howl once again. He pumped her hard and steady. She came again, and I watched my father grab a towel, dry himself off, and reach for his crisp, white dress shirt. I stood on shaky legs and I watched him closely, my heart speeding up the moment his eyes found mine. I was thankful for my mask, hoping like hell it covered enough for him not to notice me.

He stepped out of the room
and into the viewing area, his angered blue eyes never leaving my sight as he followed my retreating steps. Crew shielded me from his incoming body.

“What the fuck is she do
ing here? Who let her in?  Katarina, please stop. I have to explain,” my father urged. My thundering heart was all I could hear after that, my whole body feeling each huge thump-thump…thump-thump…thump-thump. I paused only long enough to take my heels off, and placed them in front of me like weapons. Crew remained in-between my father and me. When I pivoted toward the two men, I heard my father’s low, enraged voice whispering to Crew, and that was when I took off. I ran, not sure where I was going, just knowing I needed to be anywhere but there. I pushed past people, attempting to duck and cover the entire way, and the moment I knew no one could see me, I sprinted. I darted down another dark hall. I didn’t hear anyone behind me, but I wasn’t stopping to check.

I rounded
yet another dark corner and was suddenly pushed into a dark room. I struggled against the strong arms that held me so tightly. I wanted to scream, but I opened my mouth and nothing came out.

“
Shhh, don’t be scared.” Whoever had me in a tight hold was moving to the corner of the room. My heart was uncontrollably pounding, almost beating out of my chest, and my vision was growing blurry. I had been so stupid, so very stupid. I was in a completely kinky place with scary men and whips.

“Please don’t hurt me
,” I desperately managed to squeeze out.

I heard commotion outside the door and I was torn
. I didn’t know if I should run and yell, or if I should stay hidden. I thought about my father and shivered, wanting to bury myself further into the unknown man behind me. After a long silence between us, the man loosened his arms. He leaned his head in my neck and I felt his lips on me. I froze, unable to run, unable to even breathe.

“I don’t like the dark. Please don’t hurt me.”
My voice was so soft, barely a whisper. I normally would reserve this moment to numb my body, to mentally check out, but I was too frazzled and too freaked out to scream, to self-protect my body from harm.

“I would never hurt you
, Katarina.” My knees buckled at his words and I felt his arms tighten around me. It was Jason; he was here. Sadness invaded, and I was immediately too weak to run and hide. I started to cry, tears streaming down my cheek, toppling down my body like a spontaneous rainstorm, and then I started to whimper. His voice triggered the reaction, but his comfort and the way he continued to squeeze me made me break, causing all the pent-up, stuffed down emotion to rise to the surface and overflow.

“Don’t cry
, princess.” He scooped me in his arms and slid down the wall. “Don’t fucking cry.” I couldn’t stop. I buried my face in his neck and wrapped my arms around him. He was my survival, and I held on for dear life. When my crying ceased, I relaxed in his arm suddenly angry, angry that I ever met him, and angry over how relieved I felt to be in his arms. Anger turned quickly to hate and bitterness, and my whole body was disgusted with the hope my heart held for him.

“
I hate that you made me feel things, things I never should have allowed myself to feel.” I took another deep breath, holding back a hiccup. I hit his chest, emphasizing every word. “My heart hurts so badly, and if I wasn’t broken before I met you…” I hesitated swallowing my sadness, “…I am now, and I hate you for that.”  Another sob escaped my lips. “I kissed someone tonight, and I hate how guilty I feel. I hate that I forget what your lips taste like, and how they feel against mine.” I couldn’t stop the tears; my lip shivered and I couldn’t breathe, my throat clogging with emotion. My mind rushed back to my father. “I heard him say the words he used to say to me, and I hate him too. I hate him so much, Jason. I hope I never see him again. I wish pain on him.”

I finished my rant
, and Jason just held me tightly, repeating, “Shh, don’t cry.” I had already let go of what my father had done to me a long time ago. Why it was resurfacing, I had no idea. All I knew was the
nothing
I felt for my father had disappeared and the pain was once again as fresh as when I was six, and extremely raw.

We stayed like that
, curled together on the floor in complete and utter silence. He felt like heaven, and I missed him so much. His gentle voice broke the silence. “Katarina, what are you doing here?”