Forever Distraction (Distraction #3) (22 page)

Searching for Jason
, I opened Brian’s office door, wanting to yell out ‘Honey, I’m home!’ but didn’t get past the first word when I saw Tommy.
Oh shit.
The room went quiet, and all that echoed around us was the sound my heels made on the floor, like a ticking time bomb.
Click…Click…Click…
When I reached the two men, they were standing face-to-face.

They
were the same height, but that was the only similarity. Tommy had a good body for someone who sat behind a computer all day and didn’t exercise.
Well, I don’t think he exercises.
He was tall and lean and looked great in a suit, but he wasn’t going to win against Jason. He didn’t have a chance. Jason had his chest shoved out and he was gritting his teeth, which I
hated; he was going to hurt his beautiful teeth
. His fists were in large knots at his sides, but Tommy was not even flinching, but he should’ve been. Right now, judging by their body language, Tommy appeared to be the threatening one, and Jason was holding back.

I move
d to stand next to Jason, sliding my hand down his arm and resting it on his fist. He remained highly tense and ready to strike, but I ignored it. Jason had a bucketful of rage, but I believed it was what fueled his passion—his passion for life, for me, for his job, and for his family—so his rage didn’t scare me. I turned to face Tommy; his eyes were focused on my hand that remained squeezing Jason’s, but when I spoke, his eyes lifted up to mine. “Tommy, this is an unexpected surprise,” I said, and his eyes softened and a smile lifted his tight lips.

“Tommy?” Jason asked, and Tommy’s
eyes left mine to stare at Jason again.

“It’s Thomas
, actually. Kat is the only one who calls me Tommy.” His warm brown eyes greeted me again. “Hello, pretty thing,” he said in his ‘don’t be scared, crazy girl’ voice. It was almost cajoling. I didn’t need to be cajoled. “I was telling Mr. Riggs that we have history, and how you were my childhood sweetheart.” It was genuine and sweet, and I think I might have sighed a little. I liked the kind side of Tommy, the Dr. Jekyll side, but the Mr. Hyde side could suck eggs.

My childhood was something I chose never to think about. I couldn’t fix it
, so why dwell? Tommy’s high school heartthrob version made me feel warm inside, though. “I was your sweetheart, Tommy?” A small, shy smile lifted one side of his face and I smiled at his tenderness. A loud growl ripped me from my thoughts. I looked up at a seething Jason, his green eyes dark and firmly fixated on mine.

I
felt as if I just got yelled at by his eyes. I blinked, and blinked again, not able to break his hard stare.

“Tommy
, this is Jason. He’s my future,” I said, and just like that, he was putty in my hands. His eyes lit a small fire in my core and I got shivers from the naughty smile that replaced the cold frown from before. All I could think about at that moment was how I could get Jason alone and show him how his naughty smile rocked my world.

Tommy spoke
, his voice loud and monotone, “I was hoping to take you to lunch. We have the costume party later tonight and I brought your costume. Later, I have the ladies coming to help you dress and make you up.”

Two things came to my mind
: I completely forgot about our plans, and saying ‘party’ after anything didn’t automatically make it sound better, because as soon as he said ‘costume party’, I felt ill. “Oh, Tommy, I totally forgot. I can’t go; I have to leave for Washington tomorrow and I have some things I must take care of before then.”

“You made promises to me
, Katarina, and I expect you to follow through with those promises, no matter what man-tramp comes into your life.” His voice didn’t change, but I burst out in uncontrolled laughter.

“Jason
comes
with me…everywhere. I won’t be without my man-tramp.” I peeked up at Jason and winked, wondering if he caught my hidden meaning in that sentence. He smiled his great big Riggs smile.
Yep, he got it.

“All right
, I will make arrangements, but you are still the woman behind the man. Don’t forget your role, Katarina. Don’t test me on that.” I felt tension rolling off Jason when Tommy sent me the threat.

“Tommy…”

I was attempting to send him away, but Jason bent down directly over my ear and hissed, “Stop fucking calling him Tommy,” and then his breath was gone from my ear.

I swallowed and it felt like I had never swallowed before
, the action feeling awkward and uncoordinated. The whole situation was extremely uncomfortable. I felt like someone was making me choose one friend over another. I questioned whether Tommy and I were actually friends, but we were something. I bit my lips together, the battle in my head in full force; trust was a crazy thing. I trusted Jason with everything, but he didn’t trust me, and that was what this came down to. Jason…a man who’d had rough, vulnerable sex with more girls than a porn star, who could probably
be
a porn star, didn’t trust
me
, who’d only been with him. To say I was agitated and growing a bit hotheaded would be putting it mildly.

“Thomas…I will see you later then.” I blinked and tore my gaze away from his
, dismissing him. I couldn’t stand to see the moment when I broke his heart because of my chilling behavior.

I let go of Jason
’s hand and retreated toward my desk in the corner, getting busy with anything not man-related. I wasn’t sure when the men left, because I never looked up. I completely blocked out everything, a skill I had mastered and utilized anytime I became over-the-top frustrated.

I was in the middle of calculating the total amount spent on the last foundation project when a hand gently touched mine and a sandwich was lowered in front of me. I glanced at the time
; four hours had passed. It was just after five o’clock. I turned to face a very angry Jason, his eyes narrowed at me. His clothes had changed; he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. He must have gone for a workout.
Well, good for freaking him
. I sat back in my chair and returned his angry stare.

“Eat,” he barked out as he took a bit
e of his own sandwich. I pushed it further away just to piss him off more. His eyebrows bunched, his lips sealed together, and his anger transformed into a challenge.

“I am not hungry.” I raised my ey
ebrows at him to challenge him back. It was hard, because the more serious he got, the sexier he became. All his attention on me was intoxicating, and part of me wanted to throw myself in his lap, but the other part dug her heels into the dirt and said ‘bring it’.

He
unwrapped my sandwich and put it in front of my face. “Take a bite, princess. I know you’re upset, but you’ve got to eat. You’re already too thin.” He stared at my mouth, his concentration willing me to open. I reluctantly opened my mouth and his head nodded in encouragement, and then I opened it as wide as I could and took a good-sized bite.

I chewed and he
continued eating his sandwich. He held up a bottled water and opened it, setting it right in front of me. When I finished chewing, I took a long drink. We ate in silence, staring at each other the entire time. His eyes softened as I ate on my own, finishing my water and most of my turkey sandwich. When I was done, he didn’t wait a second longer before he asked, “Why are we going tonight?” He stood as he spoke, like the rage boiling under the surface lifted him out of his seat. “Do you love him? Did you?” He ran his hand through he already messed up hair, making it straighten for a moment before falling back into its unruly place.

It killed me to say what I was going to
tell him, but I needed to get it out. “You don’t have to go. I made a promise before you were here. I follow through with my promises. Don’t you trust me?” A mixture of sorrow and lonely isolation swirled through me, and I couldn’t help but look away before I finished. “I trust you. Months of you showing up day after day—you were patient then.” I glanced up at him, holding his intense green eyes as I asked, “Why won’t you be patient and trust me now?”

He swallowed then made
a quick movement over to me. Kneeling before me, he said, “I trust you. Fuck, I trust you; it’s him I don’t trust. He’s shady, Katarina, and I don’t trust him with what’s mine.” He looked up at me with pleading eyes and my heart ached, the pain radiating throughout my body. His pain was now my pain; it was like we shared everything.

Without taking my eyes off his
, I told him why he should feel sorry for Tommy like I did. I ran my fingers through his hair. “I am so sorry Jacy died, Jason—so, so sorry,” I felt my bottom lip quiver when I said it, “because she was yours. Your family and her family all knew she was yours and you lost her.” I continued to run my fingers through his hair, his eyes squeezing tightly at my words. “The only thing worse than her dying would be if she lived and she chose to be with someone else. Every day, you’d wake up and have to live with the thought that your forever chose someone else, and to top it off, she was insanely happy with that person.”

Jason’s eyes opened and he lifted off his knees so he was face
-to-face with me. “Do you love him? Did you?” His face was close and his voice only a whisper.

“
You mean, the way I like your mouth and really want to kiss you right now kind of I love you? The same kind of love I have for you?” I reached up and traced his lips with my fingertips and he nodded, and I trailed down his jaw, loving the smooth feeling. “No, I don’t. I didn’t think it was possible to feel what I feel until I met you.” He smiled and it was sweet. “Corny…huh?” His lips landed on mine and suddenly, I was taken over by Jason’s passion, loving every bit of it.

We
were interrupted by a crew of women. They were here to get me ready for the costume party. Jason slowly stood up and moved away from me. I watched as he disappeared from the office, and I was still unsure if he planned on attending, or if he was going to take his out and catch up with me later. I looked around frantically for my cell phone and found it on the corner of my desk. I quickly texted him.

Katarina:
Great lips, Riggs…I love you.

He respond
ed quickly.

Jason:
I love you, princess.

And just like that
, I saw colors again.

Jason

I passed Owen on the way out and he followed me. He made my attitude shift from loving boyfriend to
What the hell?
“I will be back. Gracey said she would have my costume sent to my hotel room. I need to clear my head before I watch a fucking shady ass of a man touch my girl. She needs something from me I don’t know if I can give. I’m not made to share her.”

Owen
’s loud bellow of laughter surprised me, and I stopped my stride to stare at him. My phone buzzed with a text. My first thought was to shove the phone in his mouth to shut him the hell up. I looked down at my phone and saw it was from Katarina; my fingers couldn’t work fast enough. I clicked it open and read that she loved me.
Holy hell
. She made it hard to breathe sometimes.

Owen straighten
ed and I knew he’d read my text. I stared at him and he nodded, and the moment was suddenly serious; it was like I had asked for her hand in marriage. He patted me on the shoulder and gave me a ‘don’t hurt my tiny bear cub’ look, and I manned up. I typed something into the phone I should have said months ago. I typed something I shouldn’t actually be typing; I should be running to her like all the sappy, whipped-ass men do in chick flicks, telling her how much I love her. I settled for confidently typing in front of the only man who was scarier than my own dad.

Jason:
I love you, princess.

I fel
t lighter, like someone took off football gear I’d been wearing since high school. I must have been wearing an idiotic grin, because Owen was wearing one, and I could only imagine his face was mirroring mine.

“You hu
rt her and I’ll kill you,” he warned. I knew even though he was sporting a goofy grin, he was serious as hell, and I bit my lip to stop the smile, because I wanted him to know I was serious too.

“B
ack at you,” I said, and he burst out in another round of laughter. I left mid-bellow; it was drawing too much attention and it was making me lose my focus. I needed to be mentally and physically ready for tonight. How? I was planning on calling my sister and then let Gracey take care of the physical part.

****

Jessie was not making the conversation easy. She had hung up on me twice, and then made four-year-old Jack answer it to tell me his mother was distraught right now. It came out a little more like de-taught, but I got it. I asked him if he could tell her I was sorry and to blink sad eyes ten times for me after he said it, and I knew he did it ten times, because he counted it out and told Jessie how sad his eyes were supposed to look. That was the point she took the phone.

“So
, you’re manipulating me through my son. If he wasn’t so cute, I would hang up on you again. I am beyond mad at you right now.”

“Put Jack on the phone
; I think you need more sad eyes.”

“Dad
’s pissed that you left and dropped everything in his lap. He’s looking at retirement and you stuck him with everything. Mom’s…”

I cut her off before she c
ould continue. I got the pattern she was on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I fucked up and everyone’s pissed.
“Have you ever lost anything? Anything that was valuable? Our family is so fortunate. I know people lose things all the time, but I was in a safe zone for years after Jacy. You might have thought differently, but I put this barrier around me, keeping me safe from feeling the things I felt when Jacy died. I dropped all those barriers when Katarina walked into my life. I didn’t even know I was broken or callous, but when she left,” I inhaled deeply, and then pushed the air from my lungs with urgency, “at first I convinced myself she would come back. She would miss me so much and she would wander back to me, but when she didn’t…fuck, I…I wanted to die, just to stop the pain.

“
It was worse than any pain I’d ever felt. I don’t expect you to understand; I don’t expect anyone to. I screwed up and I know no amount of sad eyes or apologies is going to erase the feeling of you wanting to pound my head into the closest wall, but I’m sorry, truly.” It was quiet on her end of the phone, and I questioned if she’d hung up again until I heard heavy breathing and knew she was probably crying.

“Besides,
you’re my twin, and—might I add—my better- half…in a non-creepy way. You have to always forgive me; it was part of our womb agreement. A shared womb equals a lifetime of forgiveness. Not to mention, you got all the forgiveness genes; you completely stole from me in that department.” It was silent again and I let her have the time she needed on the other end, because I knew my sister better than anyone. She was already letting everything go.

“Okay
, you’re forgiven.” She laughed deliriously when she said it. “I see in the Katie gossip sites that a mysterious man is attempting to seduce her.” I laughed at my curious, straight-to-the-point sister. “How can I help?” she asked.

“
’I’m mysterious, huh?” A gratified smile fixed itself to my face. “Okay, here goes. She has a guy friend who likes her, and she made plans with him and she doesn’t want to cancel. He’s an ass-wipe and something is seriously fucked up about him. He’s taking her and I have to be normal, and I am anything but normal, Jessie. I want to pull out his perfectly manicured fingernails and shove them in dark places, but I don’t want to scare Katarina.”

She did a lot of
‘okays’ and ‘uh-huhs’, and then she said, “One thing is for sure; Katie is not scared of you, so don’t worry about that. She’s rockin’ in my book. The next thing is for you to remind yourself that this is the last time ‘the ass-wipe’ will be with Katie. She’s smart and I know she wouldn’t purposely put you in a situation where you could break any laws. She will protect you, just like you protect her. It’s kind of awesome to watch, really. She’s smitten with you. So think about this weenie like he gets one last chance to say goodbye, because he’s out. She’s into you; remember that too. It’s only you she’s in love with. So…no nail pulling. If you get to where you can’t stand another minute, go take a breather, get a beer, and call me. She doesn’t mean to hurt you; you’re her Adam, so remember that. Most importantly, be patient and understanding; it will drive her crazy. This, brother, is called sympathy, and women dig it.”

I bow
ed my head and smiled into the phone. It overwhelmed me how much my sister loved me, and
shit,
I loved her right back. I inhaled and then exhaled trying to lift my impenetrable guard. I needed to make adjustments to my label of what I would normally call ‘pussy-whipped’. “Jessie, I love you.”

I heard her start to sob and all I could think about was
how I wished I was there at this moment to hug the hell out of my always-there-for-me sister. “I love you too,” she finally replied, and her voice was full of gooey emotion.

****

The costume party was downtown, located in a three-story club. I was on the guest list and I wasn’t sure why that surprised me so much. I was let in right away, instead of being taken to some back alley and beaten up. I agreed to meet her here, since it was prearranged and she was being sensitive to Thomas. Katarina had texted me multiple times making sure I was going. What she didn’t know—and I wasn’t going to tell her—was nobody could keep me away. Only God himself telling me to stay the fuck away would keep me from going. She seemed nervous, like she could sense my impending rage.

From the earlier conversation I had with Thomas
, I could see he was fucked up, not the regular ‘I hate you because you’re with the girl I like’ fucked up, but seriously crazy fucked up. He told me to stay away unless I wanted to end up dismembered and distributed to each of my family members. I studied Katarina’s reaction to him, the way she oohed and aahed, and there was no way I could leave her with him. He was a master manipulator, and I recognized the sick, twisted glare in his eyes like he really wanted her. I asked Owen to watch him closely, told him I saw evil hidden inside those eyes, and Owen was on full alert.

I was angry I couldn’t share my findings with Kat
arina, but she appeared so defensive, and I knew if I didn’t show some sort of trust toward her she would be crushed. I chose this moment when I knew I could watch over her to be the moment to show her how much I truly trusted her. I tried to explain it was the men I didn’t trust, but Katarina, being the strong, independent woman I now knew, thought I didn’t think she could protect herself.

The downstairs
of the club was one large room with spiraling staircases on either side leading to the second and third floors. The bar was in the center, and another one was in the very back. My eyes caught an elevator to the back right corner as I strolled in further, and I noticed the second and third floors were made of glass or some other see-through material. I looked up and realized if I examined carefully, I could see the women in dresses walking above me, and I could almost make out their panties…or lack of. It brought my attention to the outrageous costumes most of the women wore. It had been years since I’d been to another club on Halloween, and glancing around right now, I couldn’t tell the difference between my home club and this one. Skimpy was putting it mildly; most of the women were barely covering their womanly parts, not that I cared. I was always up for a good show. I was just saying.
Damn, I love the people who made these costumes
.

I move
d to the second floor to get a better look at the entrance. The place was filling up fast and I wanted to see Katarina when she first arrived. I stood leaning against the railing and glanced down at the doors when I got a text.

Kat
arina: I just got here…I love you.

My heart fel
t like it was gasping for air at her words. Instantly, my body was on full-protective mode. She was mine; she practically said it in the text. I took steady breaths and attempted to calm myself. She walked in, but it was more like she glided. People rushed to her and Thomas, and she stepped back and shifted her head quickly to Owen. He moved to stand by her side. She pulled out her phone and mine buzzed immediately.

Kat
arina: Where are you?

I plan
ned on moving toward her, but I didn’t. I placed the phone back in my pocket and watched. She was dressed as Snow White, and it was the best costume I had seen all night. She actually looked like Snow White, the princess straight from Disneyland. Her yellow skirt of the dress traveled all the way to her ankles, the blue corset tight around her stomach pushed up her breasts, the puffy blue sleeves, and the white collar all showed off she was a perfect princess, along with her agile mannerisms. Her long hair was left down. I asked her during our texting earlier to leave it down, but now—now that she was not draped across my arm—I wanted it up. It appeared silky and soft, and the large red bow in her hair made me think about bows everywhere else on her body.

A
nd there she was…with
him
. I hated him. She was mine—the hair, the bows…all mine—and I didn’t share. I was jerked back to reality with another buzzing text. I didn’t bother to look; I knew it was her, and I knew I was drifting to the comfort of my rage, my fury, and I didn’t want her to see that side of me anymore. Thomas had his hands on her, draped around her back as he introduced her, and she smiled politely and glanced around the room.
What is she looking for?

I watch
ed her in silence, my mind blocking out everything that was not Katarina. I knew it was my obsession taking over, but all I could think of was,
She’s not wearing anything that’s mine
. No one knew she was mine, because she wasn’t wearing proof, nothing for her to touch or to show others. She wasn’t wearing any of me right now, and the thought was maddening. I was self-destructing, because he was touching what was mine and I had no trace of myself on her. I forged downstairs, tearing my eyes off her, remembering the words my sister said,
Take a breather, drink a beer, and call me.

I order
ed my drink using as few words as possible, and the bartender shoved something in front of me after he babbled on about different beers and I didn’t even acknowledge I spoke the same language. I saw couples all around me and all I could think about was how Katarina was not
really
mine, and it made me livid. I was livid, because I convinced myself I could be normal for her. I convinced myself I could love again, and not just a possessive, obsessive, sick, and twisted love, but sweet, stomach-swirling love.

I hate
d myself right now, and I knew logically nothing had changed between Katarina and me, but this was what happened when I was away from her—doubt filled me to my core…doubt, and crazy fury and this was what I felt for her. It was frenzied and irrational. My body wanted to run to her, but my mind wouldn’t let my legs work. Instead, I sat there among the crowd of horny, young twenty-year-olds and drank my fucking domestic beer. If I had a bucket of worms, I would eat those too.

I glance
d around at the youthful crowd. Anger must have been an ingredient in my beer, because the more of it I drank, the more it fueled my mood. I scanned toward the door and a partial vision of Katarina came into view. She handed her phone off to another Snow White, a naughtier one. I noticed her shifty eyes glancing toward all the exits; it was subtle, but I knew she was going to make a run for it. She disappeared through the crowd and I twitched at the thought of her running from me, violent things running through my illogical brain.