Forever Fall (20 page)

Another problem was not something Luc needed right now. He’d had more than his share today. With a tired sigh, he leaned back on the sofa and waited for Granny Jo to explain.

She pushed a stray lock of snowy hair off her forehead and cleared her throat. “I’m afraid the board voted Asa out as superintendent.”

Tamping down the overwhelming urge to jump to his feet and cheer, Luc snickered. “And that’s what you consider a problem?”

She didn’t answer right away. In fact, she seemed hesitant, which wasn’t at all like Granny Jo. When she had something to say, she usually said it, and anyone who didn’t like it be damned. Then he detected a hint of a smile hovering on her lips. While he continued to stare at her, the smile grew until her grin spread ear to ear.

“No, that’s not the problem. They voted in a tentative replacement for him within a couple of minutes.”

“Oh?” Now, his interested was piqued. “Who?”

Again she hesitated for a fraction of a moment. “You. That is, if you want the job.” Before Luc could recover from the shock of her announcement and say anything, she went on. “That’s what they sent me here for
 . . .
to see if you’d take it.” She laid her hand on his arm. “So, what do you say? Do you want to be Carson’s School Superintendent?”

Luc remained speechless. Him? After what had happened in the board meeting, after they knew he’d entered into that agreement with Asa, they still wanted him? But did he want the job? Did he want to lose that hands-on connection with the kids? One of the things he enjoyed most about his work was being able to interact with the students, to help guide their path through education and aim them in the right career direction. Could he give that up? Did he
want
to give that up?

On the other hand, this would be a chance to stay in Carson, keep his home, remain where he had made friends, settle his roots even deeper into a community he loved
 . . .
and see Mandy often, maybe too often.

Maybe with some other man.

It felt as though an invisible hand had reached into his chest and twisted his heart into painful knots. He could never stand seeing her with someone else. Never stand the idea of her lying in someone else’s arms, having someone else’s babies.

No matter how much it hurt, he had to admit that he had no one but himself to blame. Certainly not Mandy. The way things had come down, if the shoe was on the other foot, his trust in her would have been severely damaged, too. Just when he realized having a family was something he truly wanted, he’d screwed it all up by not being straight with the woman he loved. And even though he was almost certain he’d seen love in Mandy’s eyes, he alone had made that fade.

“Luc?”

Granny’s voice drew him from his guilty miasma. He blinked, wondering how long she’d been talking to him. “I’m sorry. I was thinking.”

“I was saying, if you decide you don’t want this position, the board is willing to renew your contract as principal of Carson High.” Granny Jo’s voice was tinged heavily with understanding, almost as if she could read his thoughts. “That would mean you could remain in Carson.”

He shrugged and leaned back against the sofa. “Given the choice, I’d prefer the principal’s job.”

“Fine. Then it’s settled. I’ll let Catherine know.” She started to get up, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm.

“But I don’t want either job.” Lord, but those words felt like they’d been cut from his gut.

Granny Jo looked stricken. “But—”

He shook his head. “There’s no point in discussing it. I won’t change my mind. It’s time for me to move on.” He hoped he’d managed to cover up the pain sitting in his gut like a large burning ball. Everything he’d ever dreamed of all his life was here. He had a home and friends and a love for this small town that was indescribable. It had taken him a while to realize it, but without Mandy, none of the rest mattered. “Things have changed. I’ve changed. I would love to stay here, more than anything, but I just—I can’t.” Remaining here in Carson and watching Mandy find happiness without him would just be too painful.

The school board would give him a good letter of recommendation now that Asa was gone. So there was no reason he couldn’t start over somewhere else. Hadn’t he’d spent the better part of his life doing just that? The difference was this time he’d do it with a broken heart.

Mandy watched Granny Jo
climb back into her car and pull away from Luc’s house. Still, she made no attempt to get out and go to his front door. Instead, she continued to stare at Granny’s car. Even after it turned the corner she didn’t remove her gaze from the empty street.

She’d come here with the full intentions of asking for Luc’s forgiveness for misjudging him and to thank him for defending her against Laureene’s insinuations. But when she’d arrived and saw Granny Jo go into the house, she’d decided to wait. Bad enough she had to eat her words. She had no desire to do it with an audience.

Now that Luc was alone, she no longer had an excuse to procrastinate. But she continued to do so. A tap on her driver’s side window startled her. She jumped and turned to see Luc smiling down at her. She clutched her stomach to still the crazy flip-flops turning it every which way as though she were on some crazy amusement park ride.

“Did you plan on just sitting here all day, or are you going to get out?” he said through the small opening at the top of the window she’d made earlier for fresh air.

“How did you know I was here?”

“When I saw Granny Jo out, I spotted your car. You were so busy woolgathering you didn’t see me approach.” Busted. Heat rose up in her face. “So, are you going to get out?”

Her cheeks grew even warmer. Having been caught in the act, so to speak, she had little choice. “Yes.”

He stepped back, opened her car door and waited while she climbed out. “How long have you been here?”

“Just a few minutes. In fact, I pulled in just as Granny left.” A small lie, but one that prevented further embarrassment for her. He didn’t need to know she’d been camped in front of his house for the last hour and a half.

He took her elbow, and small shock waves skittered up her arm. “Come on in, and I’ll make us some coffee. I needed an excuse to avoid packing.”

Packing? Why was he packing? Was he leaving after all? She’d presumed from the talk at the end of the board meeting that Granny Jo had come to offer him either his old job back or that of the superintendent. Maybe she’d wrongly assumed that he’d jump at the opportunity to stay on in Carson.

Maybe he just wanted to get away from her.

Now, wait a minute! You have no reason to think that
.

Luc had neither said nor done anything to suggest that she was the reason he was leaving . . . if he was leaving. How presumptuous it was of her to think she held that kind of importance in his life. She’d seen no proof that he was leaving, and until she did, she had to harness her imagination.

I’m reading too much into this. Hadn’t he told me once that this house was the only real home he’d ever known? So why would he leave it now that he’d been offered his job back?
Maybe he was just clearing away some unwanted items.

But when she stepped into the barren living room, her heart sank. Aside from the few pieces of furniture, nothing else remained in the room. A pile of boxes had been stacked neatly to the side, each marked
LIVING ROOM
in black marker. He was leaving. She had her proof right before her eyes. No one cleared an entire room of their belongings if they weren’t planning on moving out.

“You
are
packing.” She waved at the stack of boxes waiting to be filled. “Why?”

For a moment, he stared at the boxes as if not understanding, and then he shrugged. “Well, since I won’t be working in Carson anymore, getting started on this seemed the smart thing to do. But—” He didn’t finished, just shook his head and motioned for her to precede him into the other room. “Let’s get that coffee.”

She followed, but still confused. “What about your job? The board said they’d take you back as principal or give you the super’s job.”

“I tuned them down.”

“But why?”

For a moment, he looked as if he was going to answer, but instead, he guided her into the kitchen.

She looked around. Evidently he’d just started packing up his belongings since the kitchen didn’t look like it had been touched yet. Mandy took a seat in the breakfast nook.

“So what brings you here?” Luc set two cups of coffee on the table and then joined her.

He didn’t offer her an answer to her question, or cream or sugar, and for some crazy reason, the latter warmed her a bit to know he’d remembered how she drank her coffee. It was a tiny lifeline, but nevertheless something to cling to and fortify her nerves. As for the answer to her question, she knew Luc well enough to know that pressing him for information he didn’t want to share was futile, so she let it drop
 . . .
for now.

Mandy cleared her throat, but kept her gaze on the brown, steamy liquid in her cup. “I came to say
 . . .
I’m really sorry that I misjudged you. It was wrong of me to jump to conclusions without waiting for an explanation.”

Luc heaved a sigh that sounded a lot like one of relief. “I guess we both were a bit hasty. I was to blame, too. I should have told you at the start about Asa. At the very least, I should have talked to you about it when Catherine told you, instead of clamming up and assuming you wouldn’t believe me.”

Mandy raised her gaze to meet his. He was smiling, and she couldn’t help but smile back. A sudden rush of warmth washed over her. Maybe things weren’t as bad as she thought. Maybe—

“So we’re friends again?” He sounded like a little boy hoping for forgiveness for some trouble he’d gotten into.

“Yes. Friends.” But she wanted more
 . . .
much more.

“Mandy, I need to tell you that
 . . . .
Well, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

He attempted to take her hand, but she folded them together in her lap. If he touched her, she’d never get through this.

As if sensing the invisible wall she’d erected around herself, he leaned away. “I’ve been thinking about my views on marriage, and, well
 . . .
I was wrong to judge all relationships by my mom’s and dad’s or the people I knew in the military. I saw lots of good marriages with years of happiness behind them and ahead of them, too, but I guess, because of my parents’ situation, I focused in on the bad ones.”

Mandy held her breath and waited.

“I’ve always wanted a permanent home with roots in the community and friends that I wouldn’t have to leave after a few months, and I have that
 . . .
had that. But after the time we spent together at the lake, I realized I’m missing one of the most important things. I want someone to share it with
 . . .
a family. Without that, the rest means nothing.” He gazed deep into her eyes. “I’ve lived most of my life without one, and it’s a lonely existence. Very lonely.”

Mandy raised her gaze to meet his, her hands still clenched tightly in her lap. “I know. I’ve lived like that, too, Luc, or have you forgotten that?”

Shaking his head, he reached for her hand. She pulled back, and then dropped her gaze to her lap to avoid the hurt reflecting from his eyes. “No, I haven’t forgotten. But neither have you, and that’s why I want you to help me create that family. I didn’t have a reason to accept the board’s offer of a job, but I will have one if you’ll marry me. Mandy, I want to stay in Carson, and I want you to be my wife.”