Forever Hers (33 page)

He lifted her up and carried her to bed, desire darkening his eyes, his heart pounding as hard as hers. His arms held her tight, possessively as though he would never let her go. She pressed her lips to his forehead, his cheekbone, his chin. Then their mouths met, emotions building up from deep inside her core, shudders shaking her body.

He took cues from her moans and shudders, his touch sometimes gentle, sometimes rough. Her nipples ached for him and he suckled them. The heat between her legs called to him and he pushed her to the brink over and over again with his tongue, teeth and fingers. And when he poised at her entrance, looked into her eyes and eased inside her, his movements infinitely gentle, tears rushed to her eyes.

He froze. “Sweetheart, I…”

“I’m okay. Don’t stop.”

She was still sensitive from all the lovemaking, but instead of pain, she felt complete. Their joining was more intense than usual, more gut-wrenching, more pleasurable. As powerful sensations took over her body and pleasure rippled across her skin.

“I love you, Eddie,” she whispered.

***

Eddie tried to open his mouth and say something, anything, but his vocals had seized up. Amy didn’t love him. She couldn’t. He hadn’t given her a reason to love him.

People always needed a reason to give love, but when something or someone better came along, they moved on. His mother had done exactly that without looking back. Amy was only reacting to their lovemaking, which was beyond anything he’d ever experienced before. As for him, love was an emotion he shied from. It led to pain.

Amy was opposite him in every way. She was love, tenderness and honesty. She had no safeguards against people. That was why her ex had manipulated her, using her to replace his first and only love Penelope. And that was why he was doing exactly the same thing, using her body to get rid of the feelings he couldn’t explain. All he knew was that when he was around her, his chest felt tight, his heart raced and the need to touch her overwhelmed him. So he’d calculated every move he’d made, including tonight.

Too bad everything backfired on him. He’d tried to control her and his responses the last few days, yet she’d turned the tables on him, pushing him to a place where he ceased to matter, to a place where he was part of a whole. It was as though she became a part of him he’d never known was missing.

No, it wasn’t possible. This was sex putting ideas in his head. Once they were done with the investigation and Nolan was behind bars, the intensity of their lovemaking would wane. In a week, he’d be back working in L.A. while she continued raising her daughter here in Sandpoint. Weekends he could either fly out to visit or she and Raelynn could visit him. It was a good plan. A good arrangement. No sentiments or talks of love.

“It’s okay,” she said, kissing his chest then burrowing under his chin as though she hadn’t a care in the world.

He frowned. “What is?”

“You are overanalyzing what I said. You shouldn’t. It’s one of those gifts you accept without question.”

“It’s a burden, not a gift. You said you love me, therefore I’m obligated to say something.”

She caressed his chest. “I release you from any obligations.”

That wasn’t right. “Why?”

“Because you’re not ready to love me or anyone else, and saying it won’t change that.”

Irritation licked his nerves. “What do you call what I just did? I made love to you, worshipped your body and made you come several times.”

She chuckled softly, the sound so sexy his body responded, reminding him they were still joined. “Yes you did, and like you said before, you’re good at it. You must be open to the possibility of love, so you can either accept or reject it. So, no, baby. Don’t feel obligated to say what you don’t feel.”

That wasn’t the problem. He felt too much. “You are amazing.”

“I know.” Her leg moved up and down his thigh.

He chuckled, kissed her softly, languidly, savoring her taste. He caressed her soft skin, the curves and the dips. “Do you want to have a shower with me?”

“Sure.”

He turned on the lights, scooped her and carried her to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and while they waited for the hot water, he ran his knuckles along her cheek. She was so beautiful and comfortable in her skin. She didn’t even try to fake modesty around him. That was the kind of woman she was. Open. Honest.

Sex with her was mind-numbing, but she’d opened doors to other places, to her heart without expecting anything in return. That kind of giving and loving was foreign to him. It scared the hell out of him.

She took his hand and led him into the shower, the gesture so simple, yet it was so symbolic. Or maybe he chose to read more into it than it warranted. They took turns scrubbing each other. She showed him scars from six years ago. He kissed every last one of them as she giggled. She was ticklish. He shared his battle scars from his work and hung on to his dignity as she copied him and kissed every last one of them, including the one on his ass.

After drying each other, he carried her back to bed, tucked her head under his chin and draped her over him, neither of them wearing anything. She fell asleep.

Sleep didn’t come easy for him. Eddie thought about the past, his mother, his father all alone since Lori left the nest. Love sucked, especially when it wasn’t returned. He saw what it did to his father. He wouldn’t wish anything like that on Amy. He’d already been honest with her when he’d said he didn’t believe in love. He would repeat it, so there would be no misunderstanding. Their relationship, sexually intense as it was, would not end up with him falling in love with her. His only hope was that whatever hold she seemed to have over him would be gone by the time their relationship ended.

***

It was seven when Amy woke up. Eddie was still asleep, looking so angelic and vulnerable. She still couldn’t believe she’d told him she loved him. Once the words had stumbled out, she hadn’t wanted to take them back. Even now, she wanted to wake him with a kiss, tell him again, so he didn’t misunderstand. She didn’t want him thinking it was a heat of the moment confession.

She loved everything about Eddie Fitzgerald. Loved the feel and the smell of him. He was the best lover she’d ever had, but beyond the sex, she loved him for the man he was, a protector, loyal, upright and honest.

But he carried a pain that was so deep and vast, and consuming. His inability to love stemmed from that pain—the rejection by his mother. There was no way he’d love her or feel he deserved to be loved until he found closure. He had to be in control all the time, guarding his heart against those who wanted in. Maybe one day she would make him see the truth.

Amy lifted his arm from across her waist and shifted gently out of his arms. She gathered her clothes, slipped on his T-shirt and padded back to her room.

Raelynn was still asleep. Amy kissed her daughter’s forehead then pulled on panties and shorts, keeping the T-shirt on even though she knew she shouldn’t. She loved knowing it had touched his skin. In the kitchen, she started on breakfast.

With the ear buds on, she got busy whipping a mixture of egg whites and real eggs, flour, and butter for crepes. Bacon baked in the oven for the filling and coffee was brewing in the pot.

She was finishing with the crepes when hands came from behind her and settled on her waist. Her heart skipped. Eddie. His male scent filled her nostrils, the heat from his body engulfing her. She pulled the ear buds and threw him a saucy grin over her shoulder.

“Good morning.”

“Morning.” He held her chin in place, lowered his head and gave her a sweet, gentle kiss that belied the erection pressing against her buttocks. Sensual heat shot through her. “Hmm, coffee,” he added. “How did you sleep?”

“Great.” A lock of dark hair slipped over his forehead and she found herself reaching up and sweeping it back. He hadn’t shaved, and the shadow added to his rakish good looks. “Want coffee?”

“I’ll get it.” He caressed her nape as he walked past. He poured himself a cup, turned and leaned against the counter. He grinned, studying her.

“What?” she asked, turning the stove off.

“Nice shirt.”

“Thanks. I borrowed it from this guy I know, a booty call.” He choked on his drink. She moved to his side and thumped his back. “Are you okay?”

“Booty call?” he asked, not masking his outrage. “Take it back.”

“Make me.” She took off across the kitchen until the counter was between them. He put his coffee down and came after her with a purposeful stride, a playful twinkle in his eyes. It looked good on him.

Amy opened the door and ran outside. He caught up with her on the dock, wrapped her in his arms and, together, they watched the sunrise.

***

An hour later, Amy turned off the video and sat back. Eddie tried to read her expression. She looked sad.

“What do you think?” he asked.

“I had no idea Nolan had been in love with his best friend’s girl. How sad. No wonder he never talked about his past.”

Eddie didn’t like her tone. “Don’t tell me you’re feeling sorry for him.”

“Not really, but his twisted behavior makes sense now.” She chuckled. “You have no idea how happy I am that he’s obsessed with her, not me. No wonder he always dates women who looks like her.”

“What women?”

“Me. His present girlfriend. I want to show you something.” She disappeared inside the house.

Eddie went over the notes he’d written down as he watched Burgess—if that was even his real name. There was a way they could force Nolan to show his true colors, but it would depend on Amy. First, they had to fool Nolan into thinking he was a free man, that he’d gotten rid of Amy. Second, they had to force him to lead them to the box with his mementos.

The door opened and Amy reappeared with both her laptop. She chewed on her lush lower lip as she rebooted her laptop. She still wore his shirt, which came down to her mid-thighs and covered her gym shorts. Her two-tone hair suited her. He wondered what she looked like with her natural hair. He didn’t think it would matter. Amy was gorgeous regardless of her hair color. His chest grew tight and the urge to lean forward and coax her lower lip from between her teeth rolled through him.

“What did you want to show me?” he asked.

“This.” She turned her laptop around.

The screen showed a picture of her on a social network page. Her face was the same, rounder perhaps, but she had a different hairstyle. Light-brown hair fell below her shoulders and blue eyes beckoned underneath bangs. The smile on her lush lips was part seductive and part innocent, hinting at the seductress she would become. He’d been right. A different hairstyle and hair color didn’t diminish her beauty.

“That was me in high school. I tried different styles before going back after I married Nolan.” She clicked on the surveillance footage from Ken’s people on his laptop and rotated it, so he could see the screen too. “Now, look at Nolan’s new girlfriend.”

Eddie studied Nolan’s new girlfriend. There was nothing noteworthy about her. “What am I supposed to see?”

“Can’t you see the resemblance? She looks just like me.”

“No, she doesn’t.”

“Look again—light-brown hair, the bangs, blue eyes, our body type.”

He frowned. “I don’t see it. Her face is angular. Her hair is dull, clearly from a bottle. Her eyes are…a bland shade of blue. She’s not curvy enough and has no lips to speak of. You’re breathtaking. She is…ordinary.”

Smiling, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. “Thank you, but you are biased. The resemblance is there.”

“Okay, let’s agree that she’s a pale imitation of you. What are you saying?”

“Nolan lost his first love and has been trying to find her in other women. In the video, Burgess said he’d found his Penelope because I looked like her.”

Maybe she was onto something. “I’ll see if Sly can help. He’s a bit ticked off about not being able to hack into Burgess’ computer and...” How could he have been so blind. Of course the password to Burgess’ computer had to be something unique or, in this case,
someone
unique. “I need to make a call.”

“I’ll check on Raelynn.” Amy looked at her watch. “It’s nine already and she’s still sleeping.”

Eddie got his cell phone and dialed Sally’s number. She left her a message. Next, he placed a call to Rod in Charlottesville. “Anything interesting happened with this guy yet?”

“Nothing. Are you sure you have the right guy? He’s like a choirboy. He even went to church with, uh, let me check my notes.” There was silence then, “Professor James and Martha Kincaid. He visits them a lot.”

Amy’s parents. “We’re flying in later in the week, so if he decides to take a sudden trip anywhere, I need to know.”

Amy returned with Raelynn, who seemed quieter than usual.

“Is she okay?” he asked when she touched her daughter’s forehead several times.

“I think she’s coming down with something.”

Sure enough, the little girl’s temperature spiked that night. Eddie, who had never forgotten watching his baby sister throw up like crazy and his father rattled, stayed by Amy’s side. He helped the best he could by sponging down the child while waiting for the pain meds to take effect. Amy cleaned up vomit and did laundry in the middle of the night. Raelynn didn’t fall asleep until three in the morning. Amy and Eddie slept on Amy’s bed with the door connecting her bedroom to Raelynn’s opened.