Forever in Blue Jeans (20 page)

He scrubbed his face with his hands. He was tired. Bone deep tired.

He was also hard. He wanted relief, but he didn't want his own damn hand. Not anymore. He wanted to sink into a wet pussy; for once in the last few years, he could finally admit he wanted a specific pussy. He wanted to wrap his hands around her soft hips and pull her beautiful round ass against his body and fuck her.
Her
.

Blue.

The more he thought about it, about Blue, the more he realized there'd be nothing but restless sleep waiting for him if he didn't take care of his erection.

"Shit," he muttered, even as he wrapped his palm around the shaft of his dick. He fisted himself tight and began to stroke with long, even pulls, closing his hand over the head. He might not have wanted to masturbate, but it damn sure felt good.

Planting his other hand against the wall of the shower stall, he opened his stance. His balls were heavy between his legs, and all he could think about was pounding away at her tight, slick cunt.

"God," he groaned, tightening his hand. He needed her. He needed her sweet, willing, and giving mouth, hands, body. He needed this woman, this one woman who set his nerves on fire, who drained him of every lick of sense, who warmed him, and gave so selflessly to him, to his pleasure. His dirty mind craved her, his heart ached for her. He wanted her insatiable, his to tease and torment, his to turn into a squirming mass of creaming Southern slut. And then he wanted to love her, slow and soft and easy.

The image of Blue on his lap from earlier, the look on her face when she'd come all over his balls, filled his head and slid all the way down his torso to his cock, to his seed-filled nuts. He jacked his penis until he couldn't hold it in any longer. He grunted as his cum sprayed across the shower tiles. He stroked until every last drop was drained from him and he slumped backward into the wall under the water.

He watched as it slid down the drain. "What a fuckin' waste." It should have been inside her, not being washed away.

Blue was the first woman since Alicia with whom he'd actually slept. He'd have stayed the night had Neil not shown up. He'd have spent the whole weekend in her bed, in her body.

Instead, he was getting off in the shower alone. He wanted to sleep with her now. He wanted to crawl into her bed and sleep with her tucked against his body.

Scrubbing a hand over his face again, he decided he needed to get finished and get to bed.

He grabbed the soap and quickly washed his body, gave his hair a washing with a small bottle of hotel shampoo he'd packed up a few nights ago, then rinsed off. He turned off the water and stepped out, drying himself from head to toe with the fluffiest towels known to man. Rosie had to have been the one to supply them because he knew Decker too well. That man would dry off with a piece of sandpaper or drip dry.

Cort padded naked across the hall to the guest bedroom for his pajama pants. Usually one to sleep naked, he was a guest in his friend's home, and since his friend had a girlfriend, he didn't want to be caught naked should she show up. Not that he'd ever wander around someone else's place in his birthday suit, but still...

The bed was comfortable with crisp sheets and light blankets. Rosie must have helped Decker get the room ready for his stay because Dec wouldn't have a clue how to make anything feel homey and welcoming. Cort would have to thank Rosie when he saw her next.

He pulled one of the pillows from the other side of the bed toward him. He told himself it had nothing to do with wanting a woman next to him. Nothing to do with that at all. It was just that he didn't know what else to do with his arms. Yeah, that was it. He didn't know what to do with his arms.

That was his last thought as his eyes closed. Sleep would be good. He'd wake up clearheaded, ready to go to work, ready to shake off these strange new feelings and desires, ready to take on a new project.

Yep, sleep was all he needed.

Blue heard the truck pull up to her house. She heard the door shut, and she smiled in the darkness. She imagine he tried to close it quietly, but out here, away from anything and anyone, even the softest sound pierced the silence.

Usually a deep sleeper, she couldn't find rest for some reason tonight. Neil was asleep down the hall and had been for the last few hours. She'd lain awake, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. She'd arranged them in swirling patterns, and most times when she couldn't sleep, staring at them helped to relax her mind. Not tonight.

The front door opened, and two footfalls in, it closed. He didn't say anything as he walked down the hall and into her room. He didn't say anything as he stood beside her bed and undressed. He didn't even say anything when he pulled back the covers and slid in beside her.

He pressed himself against her back and draped his arm across her waist."You're awake, aren't you?"

She laughed quietly and snuggled back into his warmth. "I was wondering when you were going to say something." She didn't want to think or wonder why he was there. She was just glad he was and she was content enough to accept it. There would be time for questions later, but for now, he'd come back to her.

"How long?"

"Since before you got here. I haven't been able to sleep."

"Why didn't you say something? I could have been a burglar or a rapist. Hell, I could have been a murderer."

As he spoke, his arm tightened possessively, and he trailed his lips from her ear down the side of her neck to her shoulder. She'd never had a lover caress her in such a way, talking to her about who could be breaking into her house while kissing his way around her body. "I knew it was you."

"How?"

"Your breaks squeak a little."

"Anyone's breaks could squeak a little."

He was right, but how could she get him to understand that she just knew it was him? Things were so weird already, if she told him she had gut feelings about them, about him, she didn't want him thinking she was nuts. "True."

"You should lock your door too."

"Just like I should put some clothes on?"

He buried his head against her hair and grunted his agreement."I know. I'm sorry for that."

Blue smiled to herself. Why did the dark always make it easier to say you're sorry or make confessions? "I like being naked."

"I know that too and I really like you being naked."

"I'm naked now," she said, wriggling against the front of his body.

"Yes you are, and please stop that. I didn't come here for sex."

She pouted even though he couldn’t see it. “Oh. Damn.”

He laughed but didn’t make a move to touch her more intimately or shift her onto her back.

He simply kept his hold tight and possessive. He was hard, and she was wet. She would gladly roll over and get dirty with him under the covers, having to whisper like naughty children so they wouldn't wake the other person in the house. She stayed there, though, spooned against him, with his lips leaving light kisses on her shoulder.

"Why did you come here, then?"

"To do the one thing I didn't get to do before. Sleep with you."

She blinked back the sudden tears that filled her eyes. He sounded so sincere. She couldn't imagine words any sweeter, and given the volatile, unstable nature of things between them, that he felt strong enough about her to say it touched her more than she'd ever be able to express.

She stayed silent though, and simply nodded.

"I don't like you naked around Neil." Another confession. He was on a roll and if he kept it going, she wasn’t going to be able to keep the tears from falling.

"You don't like me around Neil at all."

"You're right, I don't. He's touched you, been with you like this, and no, I don't like it."

His words were grudgingly given, and she smiled. "Then I guess it's a good thing he didn't choose to sleep with me tonight like he usually does when he visits."

Cort lifted his head and everything, including the air, stilled. Perhaps that was the wrong thing to say, but she wasn't going to lie to him. If he'd walked in on that scene, innocent as it would have been, she'd have likely lost him for good. She needed to thank Neil for listening to her when she'd said it was better that he sleep in the guest room. She hadn't known Cort would show up, but something had urged her to kindly insist. Neil hadn't questioned her, only nodded and eyed her oddly.

"He sleeps with you?" His voice held a mixture of surprise and disbelief.

"Yes. We watch movies piled up here in the bed and generally fall asleep before the end of the second movie. Before Decker came around, Rosie and I would sometimes do the same thing when I'd beg her to take a night off from the diner. There's nothing sexual about it. With Neil that is. It's about friendship and comfort. That's all." She waited for him to say something more or get up and dress to leave. She waited for some reaction, but a few seconds later, all he did was start kissing along her shoulder again and scoot impossibly closer to her.

"I'm not a prude, honey. I hope you know that. I realize some of the things I've said in the last thirty something hours would give you a different impression, but I'm not. I don't like knowing he's been with you. I don't like it at all and I’m not crazy about knowing you have the power to make me jealous when I'm not normally a jealous man."

She wasn't sure she believed him. He was more caveman than he probably liked to admit.

He was possessive but in a way she craved. She wouldn't tell him she thought those things about him, though. He likely wouldn't appreciate it, not like she did. "He's my friend, and he's not going anywhere. He'll always been in my life, always be my friend." Silence fell again but he broke it within moments.

"Okay. I guess I'll have to get over it and have a talk with him."

Have a talk with him? "Have a talk with him? With Neil?"

"Yes."

"About what?"

"I figure it would be a good thing to get to know him. Plus, it'll give me a chance to lay some ground rules."

"You want to set ground rules? With Neil? About me?" She was aware of the fact that she continued to repeat everything Cort was saying, but this was all so new to her. And, this was another of those situations where Blue knew she was supposed to be offended that her man wanted to set ground rules with her male friend, but she just couldn't find it in her to be.

"Yes. I certainly don't want to come over one night and find him in bed with you. Would make for an awkward situation. I don't share like that."

No, he wouldn’t share her. He cared about her, about their relationships, such as it was, that he was going to go about things the me Tarzan, you Jane way. If she wanted a relationship with him, she would have to be willing to compromise as well, willing to bend a little and if that meant, she couldn’t have sleepovers with Neil anymore, at least not ones where they shared the same bed, she could live with that. Quite happily, too, if it meant she got to keep Cort. She'd just have to have a talk with Neil herself.

At the same time, did Cort's comment mean he was going to be sticking around? She wanted to ask, but... "If it makes you feel better, I wouldn't want to know that you're friends with a former lover either, even if she was a lesbian." she offered.

"You wouldn't, huh?" There was slight humor in his voice.

"No. I'd want to claw her eyes out."

He laughed, nipping at her neck. "My little wildcat."

"Yes." She was proud of that fact, but not that she was actually jealous of all the women he'd been with in her absence. She had no right to feel that way as it likely could have been prevented had she not walked away, but it didn't stop the feelings from rearing their ugly heads when she put any thought into it. "You're with me now so I don't have to worry about going to jail for assault, and I'm guessing there are no old lovers of yours here in Blue Ridge, so we're all good."

"No, baby. You're the only lover, past or present who matters and who would be found sleeping with me."

Blue sighed and realized, she was happy. She might not have believed in love before, might not have wanted to embrace it, might not have needed him to love her back, but now... "Future lover?" she asked, trying to keep things light and not betray emotions.

"Mmmhmm."

Relief flooded her, sharp and intense. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For coming back."

Silence descended, and she closed her eyes. She was content in his arms, with him in her bed. She was content to simply exist in the moment and it was a feeling she’d been very familiar with once upon a time. It had been years though and that he could give peace back to her…

"I couldn't stay away," he said quietly.

It was all he said, but it was enough for now. She'd only had him back in her life for less than two days, but already, she couldn't imagine
not
having him. That connection they'd experienced in Savannah was still there, still just as potent and strong. It had freaked her out back then because one of the only people in her world who had understood and loved her unconditionally had just died. The night she spent with Cort had been an amazing experience of living in the present, taking what was offered, and giving the same in return. She realized now how special it was, had realized it as she'd watched Rosie fall in love over the last months, and instead of fighting it this time around, instead of freaking about it, was ready to welcome it.

She'd let him in and he'd done the same.

Cort was the only person to ever make her question what she felt, what she needed, what she wanted, and what was good for her. She'd always followed her gut, but he made her think about it, about the motivations behind how she acted and reacted. Back then, her gut told her to stay and soak up the comfort and warmth he offered, but her head had told her she needed to run, that she wasn't ready to be involved.