Forever Summer (12 page)

She shook her head but couldn’t say a word.  He solemnly bent down and touched his lips to hers.  Not the hungry kisses of the night before, but just as potent for the gentleness and care behind it.  A single teardrop fell.  Gabe kissed it away and looked back into her eyes again.

“Don’t be sad,
querida
.  I can’t bear it.  Serious is one thing, but sad?  No.  We can vacation elsewhere.”  Summer took a step back and tried to smile.  What was it about this woman?  He truly couldn’t stand to see her hurting and was ready to go elsewhere at the first sign of agreement from her.

“Gabe, … that’s so kind of you, but … my memories of Spain are good ones.  It’s just …"

“Tell me, Summer.”

“It’s the last place I remember being truly happy before my mother died.  We had a villa here.  I’d like to see if I can find it while I’m here, although I’m not sure why.  I’m sure my father sold it years ago, but … I just want to see it and compare it to my childhood memories, I guess.”

“Then, we’ll find it, perhaps tomorrow, if you’d like.”  She smiled and nodded.

“Gabe … about this whole kissing thing …"

“Kissing thing?”  Gabe smiled, and his dimples made another appearance.  He made up for the step she’d taken away from him. 

“Yes, the kissing thing.  I really don’t think it’s a good idea.”

This whole serious demeanor was starting to turn him on strangely enough.  Gabe took another small step, until the toes of his shoes were nudging the toes of Summer’s shoes.  “You don’t like the way I kiss?”

“No!  I mean, yes, I do like the way you kiss.”  She could feel the heat of her blush and felt like a teenager on her first date.  She straightened up, threw her shoulders back, and tilted her chin up.  It was time to get serious again, only Gabe kept grinning at her.  “I don’t think we should mix business with pleasure, Gabe.  You’re my boss, and I’m your employee.”

“It has always been my policy not to kiss my employees.”

“It has?  Mine, too, I mean I don’t kiss my bosses.  So, are we agreed that there will be no more kissing?”

“Hmmm.  Technically, we are on vacation, Summer, so I don’t think the standard rules apply, at least not for the next two weeks.  I think we should kiss for two weeks and reevaluate our rules at the end of that time.”  That said he fused his mouth to hers as he held her shoulders preventing her from backing up again.  “I like kissing you, Summer.  You taste like your name.”  He lowered his mouth to hers again and sipped in the taste that was only hers.  When she opened her mouth, more than likely to protest, he slid his tongue inside, and she was officially lost.  Her arms went around his waist, and his slid around her back, both of them pulling the other closer.

“Summer, I want you.  I can’t ever remember wanting any other woman as much as I want you.  Don’t push me away anymore.”

“As much as I know I should, I can’t anymore.  Two weeks, Gabe.  That will give you time to find a replacement for me.  I can’t be both a teacher to Marisol and a … play thing for you.”

“You can’t be serious, Summer.  You can’t possibly be giving me your two week’s notice.  A play thing?  What kind of a man do you think I am?  You make it sound like something cheap.  That’s not what I’m after.”  This time he was the one who took a step back.

“What are you after, Gabe?  Don’t tell me a relationship, because you’ve already said you have no interest in long-term involvement after your marriage.  You accused me of trying to trick and trap you into one, for God’s sake.  What do you think is going to happen if we start sleeping together?  Marisol is a bright girl, Gabe.  She’ll catch on.  I won’t set that kind of example for her.  I won’t be part of that.  I won’t make her feel uncomfortable or threatened in her own home.  I know how that feels, and I won’t do that to her.”

“Who exactly are we talking about here, Summer, you or Marisol?  Do you honestly think I would flaunt an affair I have with any woman in front of my daughter?  I would never do that.  And I have more respect for you than you obviously believe if you think I’d sleep with you for two weeks and then dismiss you.  How can you think that?  Is it the tabloids and how they make me appear?  You can’t believe everything you read.  My God, what have I ever done to warrant this kind of assumption on your part?”

Summer looked stricken, as she covered her face with her hands and turned around.

“For once, Summer, would you please talk to me?  Tell me what’s behind this, for God’s sake.  What have I done to make you think so little of me?”

Summer turned back around, tears streaming down her face.  “Nothing, Gabe.  You’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve this.  I’m sorry.  God, I can’t seem to get a handle on the situation where you’re concerned.  Why do you even want to have anything to do with me at all?  You’re a wonderful father.  I wish …"

“You wish what, Summer?  Tell me, so I can understand.  Please.”

“I wish I’d had a father like you when I was Marisol’s age.  Strike that.  I did have a father like you at Marisol’s age.  It wasn’t until I was eight and my mother died that I lost my father.”

Gabe approached her again, tucking a strand of honey blond hair behind her ear and lifting her face up.  “Tell me,
cara
.  I want to understand you.  I want to know you.  Not for only two weeks.  Tell me.”

Summer regained control of herself and dried her tears.  “I don’t know where to start.  I’ve mentioned my mother to you and how happy she was all the time.  Even after the cancer, I never heard her complain.  I never saw her down.  I didn’t realize I was going to lose her until she died, because she never acted like she wouldn’t be there.  When she died, my family life and happiness died with her.  My father went away for awhile.  I don’t know where he went, but he was gone for at least a month.  When he came back, it was never the same.  I went from being Daddy’s little girl to invisible practically overnight.  I kept thinking it was something I’d done, and I tried so hard to be good, but he never stayed around for long.”

“One day, I came home from school, and I was so excited to see my father’s car, I ran upstairs to find him.  I burst right into his bedroom without knocking and found him in bed with the woman who would become his second wife.  I just stood there not understanding what I was seeing, until my father yelled for me to get out.  I went to my room, and Isela came in and introduced herself and gave me a list of new rules I was to follow, including never entering ‘her’ bedroom without permission.  She and my father married a few weeks later, and she made sure I was sent to a boarding school shortly thereafter.  Out of sight, out of mind.”

“You know the worst part though?  I wasn’t mad that they’d married or jealous or anything like that.  I was hopeful that she would make my father happy again, like my mother had, and that I wouldn’t be alone anymore.  I knew she could never replace my mother, but I thought she would at least try to be my friend and care about me.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  She wanted nothing to do with me, and instead of bringing my father and me closer together, she made sure to do everything in her power to drive us further apart.  Then they started their own family, and I was never invited to be part of it.”

“
Diós
, Summer.  I’m so sorry.  I don’t understand how any father … God, baby, I’m so sorry.”  Gabe pulled her into his arms, and she started crying all over again.  It felt so good to be held.  She’d never told anyone about her childhood.  The only people who knew were the other members of her family, and she doubted they saw things in the same light, other than her grandmother and Carlos. 

“I know you’re not like my father.  I know you love Marisol, and I know you’d never purposely do anything to hurt her, but I’ve been in her position before.  Kids never get a vote, and they feel powerless.  I don’t want to do anything that would make her feel like I felt when I was little.  Do you understand?”  She looked up at him with red, puffy eyes.  He thought she’d never looked more beautiful.

“I understand
you
better, that’s for sure.  Thank you for sharing those hurtful memories with me.  I know it couldn’t have been easy for you, Summer.  I’m very touched that you would be so concerned for my daughter, and I’m glad you realize that I am, too.  Do you think I haven’t thought about her reaction if we start seeing each other?  I assure you I have.  I never do anything without thinking of her,
cara
, which is what your father should have done for you.  Not that you can believe the trash they write about me, but I haven’t been celibate since Margarita’s death either.  Up until now, my affairs have always been discreet and certainly not conducted in my daughter’s presence.  They’ve been brief, and none of them have involved the heart.  This is not what I want with you, Summer.  I don’t exactly know what I want with you yet, but it’s not the same thing I’ve had in the past with others.”

“For one thing, you’ve already met Marisol.  None of the other women I’ve been involved with ever did.  I didn’t see the point of her getting to know temporary people in her life, so I never brought them home.  Secondly, especially after today’s discussion, I know you have Marisol’s best interests at heart.  I don’t worry about her being around you or the example you set.  I know you would never harm her in any way.  Marisol likes you.  I don’t want to find someone else to teach her when you’re already doing that so well.  I feel that if I were to change teachers, it would confuse her more than if she saw us seeing each other socially.”

“Can we just spend some time together and see what happens?  We don’t have to talk to Marisol about it, but we don’t have to necessarily hide it from her either.  Let’s just see how it develops.  Can we do that, Summer?”

Big, green eyes looked up at him, and she nodded solemnly.  “I still don’t know if this is a good idea.”

“Nobody ever knows if beginning a new relationship is a good idea.  That’s why people spend time together.  So, we will spend time together and see if it is a good idea.”  Summer nodded again.  “Does this mean I no longer have to expect your letter of resignation?”

“I guess time will tell, Gabe.  I think you should know that I have serious commitment issues.  The minute things start to get too serious, I usually cut and run.”

“Perhaps that is one thing I find attractive about you.  I had to practically beg you to keep working for me, never mind see me socially.  Believe it or not, that is not usually what happens when I meet a woman.  Usually, I am the one with commitment issues, and it is the woman who chases me.”

“Ha!  I’ve never chased anyone in my life.”

“As beautiful and unique as you are, I believe it.”

****

Although it was customary in Spain to eat dinner around ten at night, with a four year old, exceptions were always made.  Dinner was at seven, followed by bathing, brushing teeth, and story time.  It was obvious that Marisol was used to the routine, and she got to pick who read her a story every night.  Tonight it would be her dad, and more than likely he would be her choice for the duration of the time they were on vacation, since he usually worked too late to do so.  While Gabe was occupied with his daughter, Summer decided to take a stroll in the gardens.  There were a number of benches placed under trees or by fragrant flowers, and Summer enjoyed several.

She felt emotionally drained after her crying jag earlier and after telling Gabe about some of her past, but she also felt lighter somehow.  Sharing her story with Gabe had been difficult, but it had also been somewhat therapeutic.  It had definitely been nice to be held and comforted by someone.  She thought about what he’d said about investigating possibilities.  She hadn’t exactly sworn off serious relationships, but neither had she ever embraced one.  In the back of her mind, she had imagined herself with her own family someday, but not once had she pursued that dream. 

Gabe certainly had a way of making her think about it though.  She wasn’t at all sure if that was a good thing, but she knew it scared the hell out of her.  Gabe was … wonderful in so many ways.  He was a great father, a good person, and he seemed to be pretty open despite the terrible experience he’d had being married.  She wondered how he managed to be willing to take a risk like the one he’d described earlier that day.  What if things didn’t go well between them?  Marisol was already attached to her, and she didn’t want to do anything to make her sad, like have to leave her job because she had a disastrous affair with her boss who also happened to be her student’s father.  She wished she could be more hopeful like Gabe seemed to be.  Maybe she could work on that.  Maybe being around him would help her be more open and trusting.  And maybe he’d break her heart, and she’d be left alone.  Again.  The latter seemed far more likely at this point than the former.