Forever summer (Summer # 4) (21 page)

“Happy?”

“Delighted! So come on, spill; what were you actually thinking?” I bounced on the mattress, thrilled by my triumph.

Adam’s eyes ticked over my face; all his humour had slipped away once more. I could feel myself frozen under the weight of those eyes, eyes that dipped to my mouth for the briefest moment before looking back up into mine. Time and silence stretched out to the point where I didn’t think he would tell me, that I would just have to take the paper and read it for myself, but before I moved into doing that very thing, Adam broke the silence.

“I was thinking … what it would be like to kiss you.”

I stilled, my eyes wide, ticking over the serious lines of Adam’s face, waiting for him to break out into laughter, but he didn’t; instead, he handed the folded-up square of paper to me. I slowly took it from him, without once tearing my eyes from his. I swallowed; my mouth had suddenly gone painfully dry. I unfolded the note to reveal the very thing he had just said to me.

I read it over and over again, barely believing it was real. Had I somehow fallen asleep and this was a dream? A very, very realistic dream. Now I was the one that was controlling the silence, I was the one that was serious, my questioning eyes lifting to Adam, who was unmoving, unwavering in his position opposite me as he watched me intently. I wasn’t speechless—shocked, hell, yes, I was—but I had had the response in my head the minute the words tumbled out of his mouth; it was only now I had the ability to put the words into motion.

I swallowed once more, staring intently at him. “Then why don’t you?”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

It was all he needed to know.

I had hoped for moments of forgetting tonight, distracting Adam in ways that lifted his sprits, brought him an escape, but never would I have believed that the escape came for both of us. Never could I have imagined what it would feel like when Adam grabbed the material of my singlet, pulling me toward him as his mouth pressed oh-so slowly against mine. He was gentle at first, soft and tentative, kissing me once, twice, just enough to catch the breath that exhaled from me. His hand sliding up to cup my face did little to stop me from trembling, did nothing to still my heart even if his hand anchored me in place, tilting my head to the side to best explore me, deeper and needier with every kiss. My hands divided the thick folds of his hair, providing my own anchor to him as he pulled me into his lap. I followed gladly.

I’d follow him anywhere.

Pushing him against the bed head as I straddled him, his hands grabbing my hips, his fingers digging into the thin fabric of my silken boxers, I felt his tongue inside my mouth, warm and sweet, lingering, tasting, teasing me. I pulled away enough to look into his eyes, smiling against his mouth to see he needed me just as much as I needed him. I gasped, feeling his hands slide under my shirt, skimming along my ribcage. He laughed, knowing exactly where all my most ticklish, tender spots were. He just knew so much: he knew how my hair smelt like apple shampoo, the size of my hands when pressed up against his, the fact I fit perfectly into the alcove of his neck whenever he hugged me. He knew my feet were freakishly cold even in the summer. And I knew him. I knew his hopes, his fears, his dreams and even though I hadn’t read his mind before, I was fairly certain I could read it now. I could see it in his eyes; they looked up into mine, asking me a silent question, the one I answered as I cupped his face and lowered my mouth to his. A moan of approval escaped him as I ground against him, feeling his need between the junction of my thighs. I didn’t want gentle, I didn’t want slow. If only for tonight I wanted Adam because above all else I knew we fit, we made sense. Even feeling the slide of his lips down my neck, tracing his tongue along my collarbone, it felt like fire burned along my skin. Any thought or worry about what we were doing and how it could change us mattered little. Right now nothing mattered, I could only feel the desperate urge to have him. Even if for just one night of my life I wanted him to be mine in the most complete way possible, the only way we had never been.

I felt like I had never been kissed, or touched before now. That nothing up to this point in my life had compared to the feeling I had when I was with him. Adam edged me onto my back, his breaths as heavy as my own, resting between my thighs as he kissed me into a mind-numbing madness. My hands slid up his bare back, feeling the heat of his skin. I ached so intensely for him, his kisses robbing me of all my breath, all my thought, never more so than when he pushed against me, looking down at me, brushing the hair from my face as he ground his hips, creating the most delicious friction.

It’s not enough.

It would never be enough.

And just as my thoughts caused me to panic about the possible repercussions of what we were doing, all fear was wiped away the moment Adam slid his finger inside me, causing my breath to hitch in my throat, my thighs falling wider, welcoming the intrusion. Adam smiled against my mouth, adding a second finger, pumping in and out in a maddening rhythm. He watched me as if he was seeing me deeper than ever before, the way his eyes trailed over my exposed breasts with my top hitched up, and I swear he did have mind-reading abilities when he lowered his hot mouth over my nipple, drawing it between his teeth. I grabbed the back of his head, encouraging him to linger longer, to not stop the sweet assault of his mouth on my skin. I didn’t want him to ever stop, my hand reaching in the elastic of his boxers, encircling the hard length of him, feeling him pulse in my grasp; the heat of him made me wild and I started to voice my need.

“Adam, please.”

Adam’s fingers left me and I cried out in protest, feeling the emptiness. His hand encircled around my hold on him, guiding my rhythm.

“You want this?” His words were shaky against the lobe of my ear.

“Yes.” I nodded, pressing my lips together, still tasting him in my mouth.

“If we do this, there’s no going back.” His words were strangled, his throat swallowing as I quickened my rhythm.

I knew there was no going back, and I didn’t want to; damn the consequences, I wanted him inside me, I wanted the ultimate escape, the pleasure I knew only he could give.

And just as our eyes locked, it was as if something exchanged between us; we didn’t need the words to find the meaning, it was all there in all the things that settled between us unsaid, so tender, so certain. I was lost in the intensity of his stare, reconnecting only once he lowered his mouth down to mine and kissed me so tenderly I thought my heart couldn’t take it.

I bit my lip as I guided him inside me. I brushed the condom wrapper off the bed as I grabbed onto the sheets, twisting my hands in the linen as Adam started to move inside me, slowly at first. Pushing himself onto his hands, I moved up into him, looking down the length of our bodies, barely believing that this was real, that we were connected like this. Seeing him move in and out of me was the sexiest thing I had ever seen and I had seen him from every angle. Beside me, across from me as friends, but never like this, his body shadowing me in the lamp light, his muscles flexing under my hands, the broadness of his shoulders blocking out the ceiling as he pushed so deep inside me I let out a noise that shocked me, but I couldn’t help it, it felt so good, so right and I knew he felt it too because he told me, whispering wicked words of encouragement that built me closer to the brink of coming undone.

He laughed into my kiss, slowing down, torturing me like never before. “Wait, not yet.”

I was breathless, and desperate. “Stop talking dirty to me then.” I laughed.

Adam rolled on his back, taking me with him as I straddled him, with him still inside me.

“Never,” he breathed, and I was glad that was his answer.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Things were always different in the light of day. And as I lay there in my bed, Adam’s arm slung over me, spooning me, I could hear the deep, steady sounds of his breathing as he slept and it terrified me. I watched the light filter through the venetian blind, wishing the sun would just go away. I was awake a good four hours before I had to be up for work and with basically no sleep due to our marathon sexcapades last night, I’m sure I should have been feeling much worse than I did. I slowly lifted Adam’s arm, working to slide out from next to him as quietly as possible so as not to wake him. It wasn’t until I moved did I get the full weight of what really ailed me. Oh, how I ached, my hips, my back, in places I didn’t want to think about. We had certainly distracted ourselves last night, multiple times.

I slid my T-shirt over my head, slipped my boxers back on; the daytime also called for modesty. I tiptoed to my closet, picking out my clothes for work, impressed by my ability to do so as quietly as possible. Creeping towards the bedroom door I stilled, taking in the sleeping and very naked Adam in my bed causing strange feelings to stir in strange places.

Stop it, Ellie, it was a one-off, so just forget it.

I made my way to the bathroom, hooking up my clothes at the back of the door and beginning my daily ritual of brushing my teeth, again lost in my own thoughts as I remembered Adam’s hands in my hair last night as I slid down his beautiful toned body, taking him deep into my mouth. I blinked out of the daydream, thinking I had probably brushed off all the enamel from my teeth not paying attention.

I stepped into the shower, letting the delicious hot water fall over my aching body, turning around, letting the jets fall over my shoulders, massaging the knots in my back before tipping my head backwards and letting the stream wash over my hair: glorious.

My moment of peace was soon interrupted by the bathroom door swinging abruptly open. And let me tell you, when you are used to living alone it is a rather unnerving, shocking experience. But not as shocking as Adam wandering into the bathroom, stark naked, grinning from ear to ear as he opened the glass shower door and stepped inside. I had instinctively covered my nakedness with my loofah and hands, staring wide-eyed at him, trying my hardest to keep my eyes above his waist.

“Um, excuse me, can I help you?” I asked.

“Why so bashful? I’ve seen it all before.” Adam winked as he grabbed the soap and started washing circles over his chest.

“Well, just make yourself at home then,” I said, throwing my hands up in defeat. Adam’s eyes drifted down, taking in my very nakedness. I could see something very familiar in that look, it was the same look I had seen last night. My stomach twisted in excitement recognising it, mainly because it was a look I had convinced myself that I would never see again. A one-night stand to pass the time in the city, a pity fuck to help him forget the realities of life. That come daytime he would do what most men do. Peck on the cheek, this was fun, see ya later, have a great life. And yet here he was, sure, using my shower probably before saying see ya later and hitting the road; still, the familiarity of that look excited me. Even more so when Adam closed the distance between us, turning me around; I placed my hands on the tiles, wondering what he was doing, feeling my breathing become erratic already until I felt the glide of soap wash over my shoulders. I closed my eyes, once again delighting in the feel of my tender muscles being worked over, this time by Adam’s touch. I could have cried, relieved that there was no awkward morning silence, or stuttered goodbyes; well, not just yet. Instead Adam explored my body as if it were a familiar landscape, almost as though he had memorised it from last night. Touching me in all the right places where he knew I would let out the sounds of approval; he was so bloody good. And in the biggest shower in the smallest bathroom in the southern hemisphere Adam turned me around and pressed me back against the tiles, kissing me under the water, lifting me up and wrapping my legs around him, the cold tiles brushing against my shoulders, but it wasn’t that sensation that had shivers running down my spine; nope, that was all Adam.

***

In the light of day, the sky was blue and the air was fresh so early in the morning. I sat opposite Adam in one of the trendy little cafés on Main Street, given the luxury of being able to stare at Adam openly behind my sunglasses. He studied the menu intently, the same crease pinched between his brows in deep concentration. I bloody loved that crease. I half expected Adam at any moment to get all serious and say, “Hey, about last night.” I had braced myself for it every step of the way from my front door, all the way down the street to my favourite café, but it hadn’t come just yet. And I didn’t know what was worse. Was he going to leave after breakfast and head back to Onslow, with a
see ya at Christmas time?
I hadn’t exactly planned to head back on weekends; I mean, why would I? What had changed? Okay, so we had had sex, lots and lots of sex, but what did that make us? Friends with benefits? At least things had not been awkward between us, Adam had seen to that.

“You know when you come to the city you can come stay if you want.” Adam’s eyes flicked up from his menu. I had regretted it as soon as I had said it.

“I mean, you know, when you’re in town … for your mum,” I clarified.

Oh God, I didn’t want to seem forward, I didn’t want to sound like I was putting pressure on him to come here, I was just trying to be nice, thoughtful.

I had to clear that up. I didn’t want him to think that I was going to be all
Fatal
Attraction
now just because we had had sex; I mean, I wasn’t really that kind of girl, despite all the loony declarations of love on every other page of my diary when I was young. Things were different now.

“I mean, I probably won’t be in Onslow much, so if you’re in town I would love to catch up with you and your mum, or if Chris is in town he can always drop in with ya mum; we have great coffee here in the city,” I said saluting him and taking a sip, praying it would shut me up from my incessant blabbering.