Forever (This #5) (24 page)

I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Everything matters.” He grins.

“Nothing matters.” I swallow, trying to pull my hand back, but he grips it tighter. “Especially if you’re not alone.”

“The definition of alone is having no one else present or be on one’s own.”

My cheeks rise and pull my lips into a smile for the first time since I arrived. “Are you quoting the dictionary to me?”

He nods. “And you think it’s sexy, don’t you?” He strums the hand he’s still holding.

I glance away. “It doesn’t matter.”

“You keep saying things don’t matter. Everything matters.”

My brown eyes meet his. He takes a step closer. “Why. Are. You. Here?” He gazes over my shoulder. His eyebrows rise. His breath is minty and fresh, and I wonder if he tastes as good as he smells. I inch forward, wanting more ice on the burn. More poison. Because if I’m going to die, I’d rather know what it felt like to be high on him than to have lived safe my entire life. “Sam.”

“Is Barbie here?” I cover my mouth with my other hand completely, not believing I let my nickname for her slip. “I mean Rebecca. Are you with
her
?” My stomach churns. The flavors of anticipation are overtaken by sour bile.

He shrugs, and I wonder if he’s going to let me in, or if he just wants to stand in the freezing weather and play word games. Finally, I decide I’m not waiting on his invitation. I’ve put everything on the line. This is me standing in front of him about to tell him what he’s begged me to for months. And I’m not doing it in the cold. Ice isn’t a treatment for burns. Our eyes meet again, and I push him back with my fist as I walk in the door. He grins. His hand releases me before both of his fly in the air. I shove the keys in my pocket and push him back, amazed little petite Sam is able to move this statue of a man…of a god. “You wanna know why I’m here?”

He grins. “Uh huh.”

I look past his shoulder and around. Surely if Rebecca were here, she would have shown herself. My hands shove his chest, pushing him into the wall of the foyer. “I broke up with Ryan. I broke up with your brother.”

His smile reaches his dancing eyes like he’s a kid on Christmas morning or something.

“What?” I push him again. Not because I want to hurt him, but because each time my body leaves his, it’s like a spring hatch pulls me and makes me bounce back to him.

He kicks the door closed with his foot before turning me and pinning me against it. “I know.”

My jaw drops. “How?”

“My brother paid me a little visit a few minutes ago.”

His lips dip to mine. I should care about how Ryan’s feeling right now, but I can’t. The only sensations are the throbbing between my legs and the butterflies that have transformed into heavy horses in my abdomen doing ballet. “Oh.”

He darts his tongue out to lick his lips. “Did you come here for something in particular? Or just to see if I was alone?”

I lift my arm to touch his cheek, but he grabs it with his hand. He raises an eyebrow.

“You said you’re not alone. So what I came here for doesn’t matter.”

“Alone can mean being in the absence of one’s presence. I’m not in the absence of one’s presence. You’re here.”

I swallow, glaring at his chest, wishing he had a shirt I could ball into my fists and use to shake him. “Grr.”

“Damn. You’re hot when you growl. Do it again.”

“Stop with the games. You said you weren’t alone.”

“I said yes and no to your question. I am in your presence, so I’m not alone. But I’m on my own. As in there is no one else...” He glances around. “Here.” Then he puts his hand over his chest where his heart is. “Or here. Just you.”

My fingers dig into my palms at my side. “You’re infuriating.”

He chuckles. “You’re exasperating.”

I shake my head. “They’re synonyms.”

“Smart girl, but I already knew that.”

“You almost failed out of school. How in the world do you have the friggin’ dictionary memorized?”

“School was boring. Are you really here to talk about school and dictionaries?” His finger tugs my bottom lip from between my teeth. “Finish telling me why you’re here.”

“You know why I’m here.”

“I want to hear it from your sweet mouth before I claim it as mine for all-time.”

“I realized on the stairs last night when I had to leave you to go to your brother I was with the wrong man. I wanted to tell you then.”

The smile he’s had the last few seconds never dissipates. “Why didn’t you? Why would you purposely put me through that hell? Again.” He lowers his head a second. “Don’t you think that was a bit unnecessary? Cruel and unusual punishment?”

The horses that have been standing on my chest start floundering like fish out of water. “Leaving you, watching your eyes plead with me, the way your voice cracked, all of it broke me. Sitting in the limo for those three hours today, watching you with Rebecca…it was torture.”

“Ha. Three hours was torture for you? Try six months. But why then?”

“I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want to feel like I was cheating on Ryan any more than I already have.”

His head turns. “Already have?”

“C’mon. I may have never kissed you, but every time you touched me you marked me. You claimed me. You branded your name on that surface and ruined it for anyone else.” I stare down at my feet. “My heart was seared with your name a long time ago. If having your heart branded to someone else isn’t cheating, then what is?”

His fingers trace my lips, then my chin, down to my collarbone, and back up to my chin. He tugs it toward his. “Continue.”

“You need more than that?”

“You’re not done. I can tell the way your lips are parted. Your hesitation. Say what you need to say with words so I can say what I need to with my mouth.”

A fire burns inside me, and instead of ice being thrown on it, Joe’s breath feeds it the oxygen it needs to flourish. “The only way I got through it was knowing I’d get to come here and finally tell you this afternoon, but he deserved to know first.” I shrug. “He’s your brother, Joe. This is so wrong.”

He blinks, and his lids return to a hooded state. “Know what first? That he’s my brother? Or that this is wrong?”

My shoulders rise and fall as I try to keep the air moving in and out of my lungs. The oxygen that’s not being fed to the furnace inside of me. “I needed to tell him that I should have chosen you that night in Charleston. But you asked if I came here for something in particular.” He nods. “I did. You wanna play word games?”

He smirks. “Depends on what words you wanna play with.”

I smile. He’s going to like my words. “I came to tell you I’m sorry for the hell I’ve put you through these six months, and especially since that night in Charleston. To tell you I wanted so badly to kiss you back last night. I’m here to beg you to tell me I’m not too late. I know Rebecca isn’t here, but you look”—I rub my hands up and down his chest—“tired. Over it. Have you given up on me?”

Joe’s hips push into mine, his mouth dips down, and our lips connect while our tongues dance to an orchestra of triumphant major chords. I reach my hands up and thread my fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I’m usually on time to everything.”

His lips travel to my jaw, then my neck, over to my ear. His heavy breathing sends shivers all over my body. “Doesn’t matter how long it took. All that matters is you’re here now.”

I nod and swallow. He turns me and starts to walk me through the foyer and into the living room. The sound of announcers screaming about passes and yardage becomes muffled as Joe leads me into the kitchen. In one swipe, everything that was on the island in the middle of the kitchen crashes to the floor. He reaches down, lifts me, and sets me down in the middle of the counter. I’m so much shorter than he is, this puts us nearly at the same level. His eyes are brown pools of desire. His fingers grasp the zipper of my pink quilted vest and he lowers it, each notch clicking. When he’s fully unzipped it, he flicks it back, and it slides down my arms. I wiggle out of it. Then he grabs my pearl necklace. “This can stay.” The first few buttons of my gingham shirt are already undone. He stares at them for a second. “Do you like this shirt?”

I shrug, unable to actually form words. There’s nothing that matters more to me right now than this.

He smirks as he takes the sides and rips all the buttons off. The white circles bounce across the granite and onto the ceramic tile. “Oops.” My lips curve upward, and bolts of electricity surge through me. I want to touch him, but he pushes my hands away. “Lean back and let me love you. Damn, I haven’t wanted anything more in my entire life.”

I nod, doing as I’m told. My toes curl.

His lips plant sweet kisses on my shoulders as he pushes my now ruined shirt down my arms. “The past six months, I’ve come to the conclusion my sole purpose on this earth is to love you.”

My hands clasp his crazy hair as his head travels down. His fingers skim to my back and swiftly undo my bra. They dance their way to the front as he pulls the straps forward so my breasts are free. He gazes at them. “Damn, you’re perfect.”

No man has ever made me feel this way. So cherished, so loved, so special. No disrespect to Ryan. He did everything right on paper, but Gabby was right. The spark was missing, and this is definitely an explosion. Any doubts I had about my decision are quickly being removed with each touch, with each caress, with each kiss. I giggle thinking back to wondering if he was a good kisser not even an hour ago.

He grins. “What’s so funny?”

I shake my head.

He tickles my sides. “What’s so funny?”

I let my lips slide over his sexy shoulders, wrapping my arms around his waist, laughing uncontrollably. “I wondered if you were a good kisser. Stupid. Like some giddy teenager.”

“And?”

My mouth craves him, my tongue longs to dance with his. “I think I need to test it out before I can make a decision.”

Our lips crash into each other’s, and this time he lets my arms roam the hardness that’s his perfectly sculpted body. He sucks my bottom lip, then moves to my neck. “Don’t feel like you have to decide anytime soon. I’m prepared to give you plenty of samples to help you with that momentous conclusion.” He pushes me. “Now do as you’re told, and lean back.”

I’ve never thought I’d like to be bossed around. The low growl in his voice as he commands me flips every switch that’s been off in my body to on. Not just on, but fire alarm blaring and sprinklers be damned. My arms go back, and my palms rest against the coolness of the black granite.

His thumbs undo the button of my jeans, and he slides the zipper down before reaching to my hips and pulling my panties down along with them. He takes my boots and socks off one by one, and everything forms a heap of mess on the floor. He inhales sharply. “John Mayer summed it up best.”

“Huh?”

His hands fly out and motion to my entire exposed body. “This is a wonderland. And I’ve been waiting forever to explore and discover you.”

The muscles in my chest squeeze. “Will you use your hands?”

He smirks and nods. “Where would you like me to go first?”

“Surprise me.”

“You hate surprises.”

“I might start to like them if they’re of this variety.”

He licks his lips. I expect his fingers to first go to my breasts or my core, but he does neither. He puts them on my cheeks. “I’ve wanted to caress your cheeks since the first time I saw a tear trickle down them.”

I lean into his touch, but as soon as I do, it’s gone. He trails down to my fingers, where he threads ours together. “The carriage ride, the ghost tour, this weekend…all I could think about was doing this. A simple gesture. But what I’ve wanted more than anything is for the world to see you’re mine.”

My breathing quickens, and I swallow back the lump growing in my throat. My core has gone from a small brush fire to a ten alarm. My hips buck up, yearning for some kind of friction.

He chuckles. “I must admit holding your hand for the first time with you naked on my kitchen counter…” His head bobs toward the wall of windows behind us. “With the water glistening as a backdrop makes it worth the wait.”

“Ha.” He’s slowly killing me. Is this some kind of payback for the time I made him wait? “Will you use your tongue to explore in addition to your hands?”

He nods. “Oh, hell yes. Your taste is my manna. My tongue doesn’t just crave you. I need you the way my body needs oxygen, food, and water.” His tongue traces my belly button. “That fuckin’ ultimatum in Charleston was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.” His lips press against my skin and curve up. “And I’m not typically stupid.”

My back arches as I try to give more of my body to him. “Why?” My lids flutter closed. “Why was it the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? Tell me with your words before you show me with your mouth.”

His hands reach above his head for my breasts, and he rolls my nipples through his fingers. “Because we didn’t speak for over a month. I didn’t get to see you. And I might as well have been locked in some kind of frozen torture chamber you see on movies where you’re still alive, but every part of your body is in some subdued state.” He releases my breasts and lifts his head. “I was a shell of myself without you—without your sexy banter and the ability to share my deepest secrets without fear of judgment.” He kisses me again. “You’re my best friend, and I’m about to make you my lover.” He swirls his tongue with mine. “Your mouth needs further exploring later.” He traces circles to my jaw, then my neck, and when he reaches my breast, he squeezes it and sucks the nipple in between his teeth, giving it a light bite.