Authors: J. B. McGee
“It’s not just Ryan…”
“What do you mean?” I want to look into his brown eyes, to search them, but there’s no way I’m letting go of him. The thumb-ba-bump of his heart in my ears is my solace.
“I found out today I have another brother…and a sister. My dad is not my father.” His tone is even, steady, like we’re talking about the weather.
I gulp. “What? How?”
“Fuckin’ blood types. Bradley found out he wasn’t Faith’s father via blood type. It devastated him in a way. Today, we found out we’re brothers via blood type. That’s some shit, huh? Funny how life repeats itself.”
I push back and look into his eyes. My hands still on his rippled abs. “What. Did. You. Just. Say?”
“Bradley is my brother. Carmen is my sister. And my parents robbed me of knowing them my entire life. My mind is so fucked up right now.”
“I don’t understand. How?”
“Mom had an affair. I don’t wanna talk about it. I just needed you to know it’s not just Ryan. It’s too much right now. I can’t do this.”
“Don’t push me away, Joe. You need someone right now.”
“No. I need to figure out who I am because my identity has completely changed in a single second.”
“You’re still you. Finding this out doesn’t change who you are. If anything, I think it’ll make you better. Bradley? Your brother?” I smile for the first time in what seems like forever.
He smirks too, and my insides clamp down, the butterflies awakening. “Yeah. How about that?”
I study his features. He and Bradley do look alike. “Please let me be there for you through this. Let me love you while you find yourself. It’s all I want in the world right now.”
He shakes his head and removes his hands. The loss of the connection makes me feel naked. “I can’t. I’m sorry. Not right now. This is over.”
“The friendship too? We’re going back to the ghost tour…to the ultimatum? Except this time, you’re the one choosing. Do you remember how badly that sucked?”
He nods. “I remember.”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because I need to tell my brother when he wakes up that I’m sorry and mean it. If I still had you, I wouldn’t really be sorry.” A tear trickles down his cheek. “Goodbye, Sam.”
Every fiber in my being is coiled and knotted. I scrutinize the handle, put my hand on it, and look back at him. “I’m not saying it to you this time.”
His Adam’s apple bobs, and he nods.
My fingers pull the cool metal, and I step out of the car. The December chill washes over my warm body, and the pain that’s coursing through it like a toxic chemical is intensified. My tears feel like they could freeze on my face. If only the weather could make me freeze. If only it could stop the aching in my chest that’s making it feel like it’s being cut open to reveal a cracked heart.
As I’m exiting the bathroom trying to wrap my head around the fact I’m pregnant, I run into Sam. Her cheeks are tear-streaked. “Hey. What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head, squeezing her eyes. “Joe. Men. They are so stupid.”
Oh. How selfish of me? My mind is consumed by the news I was just delivered, I totally forgot my sister was with him having her heart handed to her on a platter. I’m so glad I’ll never have to go through a breakup again. One of the many perks of being married. I guess it’s still possible for us to break up. That’s called divorce, but that seems impossible. “Bradley told me after I woke up that Joe was intent on taking one for the greater good. I haven’t been able to figure out what he defines as the greater good.”
Sam kind of laughs. “He’s in shock. He’s being irrational.”
“Yeah. I can see where that’d be true.” I pull her into a hug. I want to whisper in her ear that I’m pregnant, possibly with twins, but I can’t bring myself to do that in this particular moment. “He’ll come around.”
She releases me. “I sure hope so. Before, I didn’t fully know what I was missing in not being with him. But now that I have a taste, the cravings are so much greater.”
I nod. “Know the feeling well.”
She starts to walk toward the waiting room. “Any news on Ryan while I was gone?”
“I just woke up and had to come to the bathroom.” I want to tell her so bad. I can’t decide if I do it here, now, or if I wait. “I…”
She stops and glances back. “You’re pale. You okay?” Then she has this epiphany type of look. “Oh no. Are you sick too? I threw up a little bit ago. Maybe we have food poisoning?”
I wish. That would be much simpler. Maybe
she
has food poisoning. “Sam…”
She takes a few steps back toward me. “What is it, Gabs?”
“I’m pregnant,” I whisper, a tear trickling from my eye.
Her eyes widen and a smile spreads across her entire face. “Are you kidding me?” She nearly jumps, but instead pulls me in her arms. “OMG. Does Bradley know?”
I shake my head against hers. “No. I just found out right before I saw you. They ran a pregnancy test with my blood.”
Sam pulls back. “They don’t usually do that.”
“Something about there being a lab student and running extra stuff for practice.”
She nods. “I see. Well, this explains why you passed out after giving and why you’re so tired.”
I sigh. “I’m so glad I told you. This exhaustion is a special kind of beast. I thought it was just because of all the travel and the accident.”
“Do your boobs hurt?”
I laugh and squeeze them with the insides of my arms. “I hadn’t really noticed much, but yeah. I think I thought I was PMSing.”
She claps her hands quietly in front of her. “I needed good news. This is so exciting! How are you gonna tell Bradley?”
“I’m not. Not yet. I need to figure out some things first.”
“Have you been sick? Don’t forget to call and get an appointment with you ob-gyn.”
“Yeah. I just threw up, but I think it was the shock of the news more than anything.”
We start to walk down the hall again. She nudges me. “Did Bradley tell you his news?”
I shake my head. “Nope. What news?”
Sam’s jaw drops as we reach the room. I peek in at Bradley scrolling through his phone, his leg crossed over his knee. “Good news or bad?”
“Good. I think. I shouldn’t have said anything,” she whispers. “Looks like you both have a Christmas secret.”
She goes to the window and pulls her cell out.
I swallow, hold my head high, and hope he’s not able to see the sickness washing over my body. “Hey you. You okay?” He kisses me. “You were gone for a long time.”
“I saw Sam in the hall.” I lean into his ear. “Joe…”
“Oh. I was really hoping he had listened to his big brother.” Then he covers his mouth like he’s just let something slip that he shouldn’t have.
“Ryan? What’d he say?”
Bradley stands, takes my hand, and pulls me up. “We need to talk.”
I don’t know how many more serious conversations I can handle today.
“Okay.” I shrug at Sam, and she smiles. “Where are we going?”
We walk in silence, him looking from left to right until he sees the conference room I just occupied to find out I was pregnant. He pulls the handle and pushes it open. “In here.”
“I didn’t want to tell you here or now. Me and my stupid big mouth has a tendency of spilling the beans on important details under pressure, huh?”
What’s he talking about? “You’re usually good with surprises, but you’re terrible at secrets…they’re usually life-altering, so you’re scaring me.”
He smirks. “I have a brother.”
My head jerks. “You what?”
He nods. “I know. Crazy. Joe’s my brother. Ya know, I told you my dad can’t keep his thing”—he shakes his head, his face obviously repulsed—“in his pants.”
I laugh. “Right.”
“Well, he had an affair with Joe’s mom back in the day. His stupid parents didn’t ever tell him.”
“Did they know?”
“In their defense, they weren’t sure. But they should have told him when he was older, especially after we met. I’m pissed at his parents. I can only imagine how he feels.”
“So, the only brother he’s ever known is fighting for his life after he kinda steals his girlfriend, and while he’s dealing with that, he finds out he has two additional siblings and a different father?”
“Yeah. It’s a lot.”
“No wonder he’s running scared from Sam.”
He nods and leans back against the wall, pressing me to his body. His warmth soothes the nausea that’s settled in since I got the news. It has to be psychological. There’s no way symptoms would come with the mere notion of being pregnant, right? Bradley kisses my nose. “You look pale and tired even though you had a nap. Are you coming down with something?”
I’ve come down with something all right. For a second, I think about telling him, but considering the news he’s just been given, I don’t want to overwhelm him. “No. It’s freezing in here.”
He snuggles me against him and rubs my back and kisses my hair. “I have always thought of Joe as a brother. I still can’t wrap my head around the fact he really is.”
“Me neither. I guess we were all meant to be family one way or another.”
“Yes. That means Cade’s actually Joe’s cousin too. See, weird.”
My thoughts go to Sam. “I’m going to need to get her back to Mercer for her shift.”
“When is her shift?”
“She goes in tomorrow morning.” The nausea becomes stronger. How am I going to hide being sick from him in order to come up with some creative way to tell him? Perhaps I should go ahead and tell him my secret now. But I don’t want it to be here, like this. “I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” I push off his chest and rush through the door to the restroom across the hall. When I’m inside with the door locked, I empty the remaining contents of my stomach in the toilet. I have known I’m pregnant for less than an hour, and I already hate it.
After I’m finished, I wash my hands and face. Bradley and Sam are right. When I look in the mirror, my eyes are weak, my skin is pale. My fingers pinch my cheeks, then I turn and exit.
Bradley’s waiting outside the door for me. “Did I just hear you vomiting in there? Are you sick?”
“Sam got sick this morning too. I think we may have food poisoning.”
“You’re not gonna drive her back, then. That’s too far to go for both of you to be sick.”