Forever Yours (7 page)

“I know you’re scared because of how things ended before, but we still belong together, Megan.”

Her brow furrowed. “What’s to stop you from running away again?”

“Four years of the hell of living without you. I just need you to think about it, just think about trying.”

She lowered her face and he thought he was making some headway.

“I love you,” he said. “That never changed.”

She lifted her face to him. Tears had dampened her eyes, but she blinked them away. “Well. That wasn’t enough last time, was it?” Reaching for her car door, she brushed his hand off the handle. “Good night, John.”

He stepped aside and let her climb into her car. “Good night,” he said as she pulled away.

Meg shouldn’t have danced with John. She shouldn’t have let him hold her in his arms. She shouldn’t have let herself melt into him, surrounded herself with his cologne, or let his warmth seep into her soul.

Sinking into her sofa, she pulled a blanket around her, but it didn’t come close to the comfort of his embrace. He was right there, waiting for her to accept him, and she wanted that. More than anything, she wanted to go back in time and have what they had lost, but she just couldn’t take the leap. She was standing on the edge, looking down, but the fear of landing flat on her face again was too great.

Leaning forward, she grabbed her purse and dug out her phone. She typed a text to Suzanna, hoping her sister was still up. She sank back on the sofa as she waited for a response and let thoughts of John fill her mind.

Her text wasn’t returned until morning. The beep jolted her from her sleep. Her text the night before had said,
Are you awake?

Suzanna’s reply was,
John?

Of course.

Bring coffee.

Meg sat at the kitchen table. “Where’s Steven?”

“With John,” Suzanna said, as if it were the most obvious thing ever.

“What? Why?”

“Because he sent a pathetic text too. Do you realize you are acting like teenagers? For God’s sake, can you just move on?”

“Excuse me?”

Suzanna sat at the table, took her coffee, and gently pulled the lid off. “I know about last night. About the dance. Very romantic.”

Meg frowned. “It was.”

Suzanna sighed as she looked at Meg. “Say it.”

“What?”

“That you still love him but you are terrified he’s going to hurt you again.”

Meg’s lip trembled. “I love him, but he
will
hurt me again.”

Suzanna reached out and wiped a tear from Meg’s cheek. “The thing about love is that there are no guarantees. It’s one day at a time and not every day is a good one. Some days it takes everything you have to believe in it. John made a mistake, Meg. He paid for it. He suffered for it as much as you did. He misses you like crazy.”

“He
left
me,” she whispered.

“I know.” Suzanna grabbed a few napkins and thrust them at Meg. “But right now, you are hurting yourself. You’re just sitting in limbo. You aren’t moving forward and you aren’t letting go. You’re stuck in this in-between. You have to do something.”

“What?”

“You love him?”

“Yes.” She dragged a napkin under her nose.

“You want to be with him?”

“I don’t know.”

“Megan. Do you want to be with John?”

She was again bombarded with images of sharing his home with him. “Yes.”

“So…do it.” Suzanna grasped Meg’s hand. “Listen, sometimes second chances lead to regret, but sometimes second chances are all that you need to find some happiness.”

Meg sniffed, wiped her face, and sighed. “I don’t know, Suz. I just don’t know.”

“Well, you have to figure out something, Meg. You can’t keep letting yourself be pulled in all these directions. Either take a deep breath and jump, or move on.”

“I don’t know what else I can do.” John stabbed at his omelet.

Steven frowned as he looked across the table. “You need to understand something. You’ve had four years to think about all the things that went wrong and how to fix it. She’s had four years to think about how you walked out with no warning. The same time has gone by, but you’ve been looking at this from two very different angles. I know you don’t want to hear this, but she was devastated when you left. I don’t mean hurt or upset. I mean
crushed
.”

“Rub it in, why don’t you?” John mumbled.

“It took a long time for her to get her head straight. Then you came back, and everything is all mixed up for her again.”

John dropped his fork and sat back with his coffee. Looking around the small diner, he frowned deeply. “So what do I do?”

“Just give her some more time. Let her come to you.”

“And if she doesn’t come to me?”

Steven shrugged. “Then you have to let her go.”

John’s stomach turned sour at the thought. He put his cup down, unable to take another drink. “I can’t do that, Steven. I just can’t.”

Chapter Ten

This could have been the stupidest thing Meg had ever done. No, it
definitely
was the stupidest thing she’d ever done. But she couldn’t back out. She’d sent the text and now she was pacing the length of her apartment waiting for John to reply.

She had just asked John to dinner. Dinner really wasn’t a big deal—just a meal. Even so, her heart was pounding and her palms were sweating. When her phone chimed, she sat heavily on the couch and stared at it for a moment before checking his response.

“Okay,” she breathed. “Okay. We’re having dinner.”

Her phone dinged again and her eyes grew wide as she read his message. “Tonight? No. No. Like tomorrow, or the next night. Or next month.”

He sent another text before she could type her reply.
Tonight. I’ll pick you up in an hour. Dress nice.

“Oh, my God.” She moaned. “What have I done?”

“This is it,” John said under his breath as he walked to Meg’s door. “Last chance. Don’t blow it, dumbass.”

He took a breath and knocked on her door. When it opened, his breath left him in a rush. She’d never been more beautiful than she was then, standing there in a red dress with her hair swept up. She looked amazing. More than amazing, and John seemed to have lost his ability to speak.

Meg blushed and lowered her face as she gestured for him to come in. He wordlessly held out a bouquet of white roses, and she smiled as she took them.

“They’re lovely, thanks.” She looked at him when he didn’t respond and her grin widened. “Why are you so nervous?”

“Uh…first date jitters, I guess.”

“First date?” She giggled. “Hardly.” When she turned, her smile faltered.

He usually brushed things off, but he was staring at her with a vulnerability he rarely let others see. “Do you think we could just start over? I know we can’t ignore the past, but maybe we can spend a little more time focusing on the future.”

She nodded. “I’d like that.”

“Good.” He relaxed and managed to smile. “I called in a favor and got us a reservation at the steak house. I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s perfect.”

And it was. Meg seemed to put thoughts of their past out of her mind as they ate. She even laughed at his stories, and he was certain her cheeks blushed when he took more than a passing glance at the ample amount of cleavage she had left exposed.

As he walked her to her door, he debated if she would invite him in—and if she did, if he should decline.

“Well,” he said as they reached her apartment. “Thanks for going out with me tonight.”

“Thank you for dinner. It was wonderful.”

John wanted to kiss her. Hell, he wanted a lot more than that, but he restrained. “Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.”

“Okay.”

Meg smiled. “Okay. Good night.”

“Sleep tight, Megan,” he said softly. Despite temptation, he turned and left her.

Chapter Eleven

Three dates. Three perfect dates. And John hadn’t so much as kissed Meg goodnight. While she appreciated him taking it slow and being a gentleman and all that, she was officially starting to feel slighted. Never before had a man gone three dates without at least giving her a peck on the cheek when he dropped her off.

Tonight she was going to get a peck. She was determined. She had invited him to her place for dinner and a movie. But this would be dinner and a movie Meg and John style. While it was great to eat out at fancy restaurants, they had always been more about pizza and beer than surf and turf. She wanted this night to be about them, not about him trying to impress or woo her. She didn’t need wooed. She was more than aware of what John had to offer.

The pizza had been ordered, the beer was in the fridge, and she had rented several really terrible disaster movies. She was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, a far cry from the dresses and heels he’d seen her in the last few times. While she didn’t feel quite as sexy, she felt much more like herself, and when she opened the door at the sound of his knock, she was happy to see him in jeans as well.

She took a plastic bag from his hand as he stepped into her apartment. “What’s this?”

“Junk food.”

“Something chocolate, I hope.”

“You know it.”

“Perfect.” She carried the bag to kitchen. “Pizza’s on the way. You want a beer?”

“Please.” He sank onto the sofa.

She handed him a bottle as she reached for the DVDs. “Massive destruction by volcano or tornadoes?”

“Volcano.”

“Sweet!” When there was a knock at the door, she glanced back to find he was already rising. While she started the movie, he paid for the pizza, and then they settled on the sofa.

They were about halfway through the first movie when John got up and refreshed their drinks. Meg grinned when he sat closer to her upon his return—close enough that she could feel his heat. She sat still for a few minutes and then shifted her feet under her, giving her the excuse to lean a bit closer to him. He readjusted next, and when she squirmed again, she didn’t stop until she was against his side. His arm fell causally around her and her hand dropped to his knee.

He pulled her closer and her heart flipped in her chest. His cheek pressed to her head and she closed her eyes as her entire body reacted to the tickle of his breath flowing over her neck. Her attempt at seducing a kiss goodnight from him suddenly didn’t seem like enough.

Stop stalling,
the voice in her head said for the millionth time.
You know where this is going.

“John,” she whispered.

“Yeah?”

“If you leave me again, I’ll never forgive you.”

“I know.”

Turning her head, she caught his mouth with hers. She may have intended something soft and sweet, but as soon as they made contact, everything she’d been holding back poured out of her. She shifted her body, draped her leg over his, and tangled her fingers in his hair. Her tongue pushed into his open mouth. His arms went around her and pulled her onto him so she was straddling his lap. She tugged at his shirt while he tugged at hers until they separated long enough to discard their clothing, and then his lips were on her neck.

She moaned his name, fisted his hair, and encouraged him to move lower. He slipped her bra straps off her shoulders and flicked his tongue over one of her nipples as she ground her groin to his. A sound left him, somewhere between a growl and a moan, that made her want to scream. Hell, she may have, because he stood up and eased her onto her bed before she even registered that he was carrying her through the apartment.

She moaned a protest when he leaned back, but he was only gone long enough to push his pants down and help her remove hers. She wanted him in her, needed him deep inside her, moving with her. Instead he dropped to his knees and pressed his face between her legs.

“Oh, God.” She gasped as his fingers slid deep inside of her while his mouth moved over her. Her hands gripped his hair again, holding him as she tensed beneath him. When she finally was able to breathe, she pulled him up and tasted her release on his mouth.

“Shit. Do you have any rubbers?”

Instead of answering, she thrust her tongue in his mouth as she fumbled with the box in her nightstand. She tore a small packet open and unrolled a condom over his erection. He groaned when she took the opportunity to squeeze his shaft.

John gently but firmly pulled her hands away and pressed them into the mattress. He looked into her eyes and Meg’s chest suddenly felt so full she thought it may burst.

“I love you.” He leaned down and kissed her with less passion and a lot more intent. “I love you more than anything.”

“I love you,” she finally confessed.

Putting her hand to his hip, she encouraged him and held his stare as he slid into her.

It was in that moment that she finally let go of the past. He was here, looking at her like she was his world, touching her like he couldn’t get enough, and loving her like he’d never stopped. And she finally believed that he hadn’t.

“This is ridiculous,” John said.

Meg stood, arms crossed and brow arched, staring at him from the master bath. She looked like she was going for firm, but with her hair a tangled mess, standing in nothing but a navy blue panty and bra set, she was flat out sexy as hell. Even with a foamy toothbrush stuck in her mouth. He felt his desire renew.

“Why?” She turned to spit and rinse.

“Because I own a house. A house we both love.”

“So?”

“So you spend almost as much time here as I do at your apartment.”

“So?”

“Megan!”

She stepped out of the bathroom, yanking a brush through her hair. “I’m not moving in with you. We’ve been back together for like five minutes.”

“Over a month,” he corrected.

“Do you really think a month is long enough to move in together?”

“It’s not like we haven’t lived with each other before. Don’t,” he warned before she could say something snarky. He frowned when she disappeared into the bathroom again.

She emerged a few moments later with her hair pulled back in a neat ponytail. “What if this doesn’t work? I’ll be giving up an apartment that I love and all my things.”

“Bring your things. And it’s going to work out.”

She frowned as she walked to the closet where she’d gradually been adding more and more of her clothes. “You don’t know that.”

Slipping from the bed, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his chest to her back. “I do know it.” He kissed her shoulder several times before putting his mouth to her ear. “There is no other place in the world, besides right here with you.”

She dropped her head on his shoulder and sighed. “John.”

“Move in with me. Please.” He smiled when he sensed her resolve cracking. Hugging her to him, he rocked her gently. “Pretty please. I hate waking up without you.”

“Hmm.”

“I’ll wake you up every morning like I did today.” He grinned as he thought about the sex they’d had less than an hour ago.

“I just want to do things right this time.”

He leaned back enough to turn her in his arms. “This is right. You being here is right.”

“All right. I’ll think about it.” She laughed when he lifted her off her feet and spun her until he could lay her on the bed. “I have to go meet a client,” she said when he started nipping at her neck.

He planted a kiss on her lips and then jumped up and trotted out of the room. “I’ll call Steven. We’ll take care of everything.”

“Hey, I said I’d
think
about it,” she called after him.

He smiled as he ignored her. She could try to resist all she wanted, but he was confident he’d be moving her in by the weekend.

“Hello, Roger,” Meg cooed at the black lab she and John had rescued the weekend after she moved in. She squeezed by the big dog and set her bag down on the sofa. “Honey, I’m home,” she called out.

“In the kitchen.”

“Mmm, what’s for… Wow,” she said coming to a stop. The table was set, candles where flickering, and John was pouring wine.

He looked up and smiled, and her insides twisted. Damn. How did he do that?

“Hungry?”

She finally remembered to breathe. “Famished.”

“Good.” He grinned as if he knew she’d been instantly turned on by the sight of him. “I made Chicken Puttanesca.” He pulled out her chair. When she was seated, he leaned down and kissed her gently. “How was your day?”

“Fabulous. Yours?”

“Much better now.” He sat across from her.

Meg laughed softly. He was clearly laying the seduction on thick. She wasn’t complaining. She was actually looking forward to whatever he had in mind. He’d been spoiling her with candlelit dinners, evenings curled by the fireplace, and just about anything else he could seem to think of to romance her. She was loving every minute of it.

So much so, that by the time she finished the dinner he’d cooked, she was ready to crawl across the table and take him right there. He obviously had other plans. He refilled their glasses, took her hand, and led her into the living room. She sat on the sofa while he stoked the fire.

“I was standing right here,” he said, “when I realized the depth of what I’d lost.”

The smile that had been curving Meg’s lips fell. They had an unspoken agreement to not speak of the past anymore, and for the six months that they’d been back together, they’d abided by it. It was over, done. Why bring it up now?

The fire roared back to life and he continued to stare at it. “I knew then that I’d never be that happy again unless you found a way to forgive me. I honestly didn’t know if you ever could.” Finally, he stood and looked at her. “You have, haven’t you? You know I was just a scared kid and that I’ve changed, right?”

“I know. John—”

“I never, not for a moment, stopped wanting you in my life, Megan, I just didn’t know what to do with all of it. I didn’t know how to love you, but I do now.”

“Why are you—” Her question was cut short when he reached in his pocket and pulled out a ring. Meg’s breath caught, and she knew her mouth was hanging open. She didn’t even blink until Roger nudged her, silently begging to be petted. She put her right hand on the dog’s head as John knelt before her and took her left hand.

“I promise to be the man you need me to be, to always be here, to always love you more and give you more, and support you in whatever you do, if you would do me the honor of becoming my wife. Megan, will you marry me?”

She knew the beaming smile on her face told him what he needed, but even so, she whispered, “Yes. I would love to marry you.”

He laughed softly as he slid a platinum band with four diamonds on her finger. He didn’t have to explain. She knew the significance. Four years, four diamonds, four reminders of what could be lost.

“It’s beautiful.”

His hand cupped her face as she lifted her gaze to his. “You’re beautiful. I love you.”

“I love you.” Meg threw her arms around him. She pushed off, knocking him backwards until he was flat on the floor and then kissed him hard. She leaned back to look at him and realized she felt none of the underlying doom that had haunted her when he first returned to town. “We’re getting married,” she squealed.