FOREWORD (26 page)

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jun loafers, the new, clunky style with higher, chunkier heels than the old penny loafers. She told me to kneel on the floor and she teased me verbally, almost like my fantasy woman.

She lay back on the bed and rubbed herself with one shoe then slipped it back on and ordered me to lick the “stuff” off.

While I licked and kissed her shoes, she masturbated and when she was about to come, asked me to finish her with my mouth. I did this eagerly and masturbated myself to orgasm at the same time. We talked for a while afterward, almost as if nothing unusual had happened, and she finally left to return to her own apartment. I never saw her again, although I think of her a lot. I would be almost afraid to see her.

Later that week, I bought a pair of identical loafers in the women’s shoe department of a local department store. I was both nervous and highly sexed up waiting for the clerk to return with the shoes. Nervous because I was sure the clerk would know they were for me, rather than my wife as I had told him, and excited at the prospect of having a pair of her shoes. I hurried back to my apartment, stopping only to buy a pair of L’eggs panty hose at a drugstore, ripped off my suit and donned the stockings and slipped into my lady’s shoes. I must have masturbated three or four times that night and for a week or so continued to isolate myself behind locked doors and do the same.

I guess my point, if I’m trying to make a point, is that I have a good sex life and my fantasy helps embellish it. I have to finish now as my date for tonight is due shortly. I am grill-ing steaks for us on the patio, and I’m already wondering what kind of shoes she’ll be wearing. See?

There are men who say that the fetish – the shoe, diaper or whatever – merely adds spice to the sexual broth. Essentially, they declare, it is the woman they want. That she may be wearing high heels only heightens the arousal. Neil (above) states the idea flatly: “… unlike most fetishists ... the shoe
itself
has no intrinsic attraction; I’m turned on by the
lady
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but it greatly intensifies my desire if she is fashionably shod.” Nevertheless, he finishes his letter with an anecdote about feeling “highly sexed” while buying a pair of women’s shoes in a department store and then using them to masturbate

“three or four times that night” though no woman was present.

The Freudian fetishist is defined by the fact that his desire is not primarily for the woman. Like Neil, he’ll often just go home and curl up with a pair of galoshes instead.
He has his
penis.
Relieved of his anxiety that he might have lost it, he feels safe, snug, sexy, satisfied. He doesn’t need anything (anyone) else.

So much for Freud. To me, the theory has a certain logic; but it doesn’t carry that
click
of inner certainty when a psychoanalytic insight hits home. But then, since I am not a fetishist, why should I expect it to? A more recent explanation for fetishism comes from the English school of psychiatry in which Dr. D.W. Winnicott is a leading theorist. Here, the feeling is that the fetish cannot be merely reassurance that the penis has not been damaged. Instead, it is seen as a defense against an earlier, preoedipal anxiety. The object of fear is not the punitive father, but loss of the life sustaining mother.

To Winnicott, fetishism stems from a time when separation from mother is death itself. Just as Linus hangs on to his security blanket when alone and worried, so does the fetishist arm himself against infantile fears of losing mama by grasping the fetish in a tight, loving embrace.

Support for Winnicott’s idea comes from those fantasies in which the fetishist’s object is a diaper or a rubberized item like the apron worn by mother when she bathed baby; these are totems from the pre-oedipal age. Even the astonishing frequency with which the woman’s foot or shoe is chosen as the fetish may be seen as evidence for Winnicott’s theory.

From the infant’s floor-level point of view, when he becomes frightened and comes crawling back to mother as fast as he can, isn’t the shoe the first item of her person he can grasp and hold on to for safety?

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In the language of this theory, the fetish is a “transitional object” – helping the toddler bridge his fear and loneliness.

Having this unconsciously remembered evidence of mother’s warmth and reassurance with him, he is encouraged to go forward into sexual pleasures.

Both theories have much to recommend them, and perhaps a synthesis could be made: A thoughtful reader will no doubt already have noticed that while Kip’s diapers (above) could have become his fetishistic object, because they were easily associated with his penis, so were diapers also early linked with mother’s safety and love. In the absence of consensus among psychoanalysts themselves, we may feel free to choose either explanation that feels right.

There is, however an additional piece of evidence to consider: Girl babies have the same unconscious fear of losing mother as little boys do
, but instances of fetishism among
women are so rare as to be practically unknown.
(Incidentally, kleptomania is a problem exclusive to women.) As women take on many of men’s responsibilities in an

“equal” world, we have already seen increase of incidence in the female sex of traditionally male complaints like heart disease, and even baldness. It is interesting to speculate, as women become more independent – if, like boys, they increasingly become trained to separate from mother as early as possible – will we also see women fetishists? This would say a lot for the Winnicott school of thought over the Freudian.

However, that time is not yet. While it is true that the fetish seems always to be over determined – analysis shows it can be both a transitional object (as Winnicott uses the term) and an item that has somehow come to be imprinted with associations of love and excitement –
it is also used as a form
of penis displacement.
On this evidence, we must say that fetishism is strongly sex-linked to the male. In this light, Freud’s argument becomes very persuasive.

Nancy Friday

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TUCKER

I have as far back as I can remember always been greatly fascinated by ladies’ dainty and elegant footwear when worn by women who have nice shapely legs and well formed feet so the shoe or boot hugs and fits the contours of feet and legs, often to such perfection that gives the viewer the concept of being a part of her own personal charms, or one might say fitting almost like a second skin. And so whenever and wherever I feast my eyes on such ladies wearing shiny black high-heeled patent leather shoes or boots, I become sexually stimulated and very horny.

It can happen at work in the department store where I am employed or at staff parties and house parties and anywhere in public; yes, even in church or at funeral parlors.

It is obvious most women are ignorant of how their beautiful glossy black leather footwear affects the senses of some men, but undoubtedly lots of women are very much aware of what their shoes and boots can do for them. They carefully select styles and the finest softest shiny leathers which can be so very instrumental for seduction purposes.

When I become infatuated with the lady’s sexy shoes or boots, I make a real study of admiring the high curved arch of her instep which the high slim heel serves to emphasize and I get the urge to kneel down and fervently lick and kiss the shiny sexy shoe leather in humble homage and become the lady’s personal boot slave. Those are my secret thoughts when I masturbate or when I screw my wife. She has ridiculed me so often for this special “thing” of mine in regard to ladies’ footwear.

And so to punish her for it, I always visualize myself as being some other woman’s sex slave and I have pretended to engage in those pain and pleasure games even with some of her own girl friends. I am bound helplessly hand and foot by them and whipped with a riding crop on my behind for their own amusement, then made to lick their glistening black pat-Men In Love

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ent leather boots as preliminary homage tribute before performing cunnilingus for them.

I have never performed cunnilingus as my wife says nice people do not do such vulgar things, but it has always been my urgent wish to some day become acquainted with some domineering lady who derives personal sexy pleasures from having another woman’s husband honor her in this humble fashion.

I have been masturbating ever since I was twelve years old. It was a fourteen-year-old girl who initiated me into this pastime. My mother had her come in to stay with me when she went out; she liked to spank me with a flat household yardstick on my buttocks when we played games. She usually wore pretty black patent leather anklestrap shoes which I just adored and she let me kiss and lick them on my bended knees which she herself found most amusing.

In school the sight of my lady teachers’ high-heeled shiny shoes always served to give me unbearable erections and I just simply had to masturbate.

JACK

I am thirty-three years old and divorced. My ex-wife was the first person with whom I had a serious sexual relationship, more before marriage than after. Ours was fairly conventional, possibly owing to my lack of experience at that time. Limited oral sex and standard man-above and man-behind positions. Since our separation, I have been fortunate in meeting a number of ladies of different nationalities, and I have enjoyed a much more varied and interesting sex life.

Masturbation has been a regular part of my life as long as I can remember. The first orgasms that I can remember came from rope climbing. I must have been eleven or twelve years old at the time. As I remember it, there was no erection and no ejaculation; but it was very intense and lasted much longer Nancy Friday

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than it seems to today. Almost like a female orgasm, I have imagined.

One common factor of all my dreams, both in my teens and today, is high-heel shoes. I can be aroused by shoes in a shop window, in pictures, and by seeing women wearing them. I am very excited if my partner agrees to wear them when we are having sex, and in particular if she touches my penis with the heels during foreplay. My favorite shoes are those with a large open toe and sling-back at the heel. Five inches is the perfect height. If higher, they become unnatural and affected. I had a very happy relationship with a lady who helped me enact a fantasy which I had had for a long time.

After sucking my penis until it was completely wet, she took off one of her shoes (my favorite type) and slipped my penis inside so that the head of my penis protruded through the open toe. Then, by sucking the head of my penis and working the shoe up and down the shaft, she brought me to a wonderful orgasm in her mouth. This gave me both a physical and mental pleasure. An extension of this fantasy is that instead of sucking my penis, she lays back and guides her shoe, with my penis inside, to the lips of her vagina and very slowly and gently allows me to push the heel inside her. We are then joined only by the shoe. I can then bring her to orgasm by fucking her with the heel, while the upward thrust pushing my penis through the open toe brings me to an orgasm over her breasts and face. This fantasy, I think, will never be enacted as I am afraid that it would be too painful for the woman, even using very slim heels and as I cannot tolerate the idea of giving pain.

I should mention that I don’t think my love of high heels is a true fetish as, although they give me great and harmless pleasure, they are not necessary for me to achieve an erection or ejaculation. They are cream on the cake; a sexual bonus.

My latest and most constant fantasy is that of being a woman. I would love to wear women’s clothes, in particular high-heeled shoes; and I am fascinated by stories and articles of transsexual operations. I try to imagine what it would be Men In Love

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like to be reborn again as a woman, at thirty-three years of age, and all the problems – legal, physical, and mental –that would be involved. However, I have no interest in having sexual relationships with a man. I have tried hard to imagine what it would be like to suck a man’s penis. To be homosexual would be the obvious answer to all my fantasies; but consciously, I don’t want that at all. Possibly my subconscious has other ideas; but as it is keeping a very low profile at the moment, I cannot assume anything. My own feeling is that I am a lesbian with a penis; and in my fantasy of changing sex, that is what I become – a lesbian – but with a man’s knowledge)

I have come to accept what I am and this makes life much easier. It probably also explains the failure of my marriage and my inability to date, of having a long-term relationship with any of my women friends. I believe they have an instinct about these matters; and although I behave and look like a male, I believe that they can sense something which doesn’t quite fit. I trust and hope that I will find a female partner who can accept a gentle male, rather feminine in thought; possibly a homosexual with a vagina!

KEITH

My real thrills usually start while I am at work, which is a rather large chain store. I really get turned on by women who wear short dresses or the long ones with the slits in front to expose a little thigh. Although I am only seventeen, I get turned on by women who are at least twenty or twenty-five years old, and up to about fifty or fifty-five years old. If they are not too ugly at about fifty. I wonder what kind of legs Doris Day has. Mitzi Gaynor has what I think are the best.

On with the fantasy. At work I pretend some lady with excellent legs and a good body comes up and asks where the bathroom is. After we are in the back room, but not yet to the john, she says she would like me to eat her pussy and fuck Nancy Friday

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her. We go over to a comer and kiss. Then she lifts up her dress which uncovers a pussy with panty hose covering the bush. I start to lick her cunt through her panty hose (brown or suntan). After she starts to have her first orgasm, I pull her panty hose off and lick her come and then we fuck for a while. Then she leaves.

Another turn-on is when something has to be put into a lady customer’s car. She has a short dress on and when she sits down, the dress goes up even further to expose a couple of excellent thighs. She insists that I take a tip. I refuse and tell her that with her nice looks and nice legs, that anything she needs is free. This is where the fantasy starts: She says that she is divorced and would like someone to talk to, so we make arrangements to meet at her house that night. When I arrive at her house, she answers the door in a short black dress, brown panty hose and boots. She has me go into her bedroom and put on what she has laid out on the bed. A dress which comes to about my knees, dark brown panty hose and nothing else except for these two garments. I go back into the living room. She is sitting in a low chair exposing a lot of beautiful legs. She says I can do anything I want. I kneel down in front of her and start kissing her legs from toes to knees. She asks if that is the only part of her body I like. I now slide my hands up under her dress on the outside of her legs to her pussy, which feels great with super soft panty hose covering it. I then take off her dress and she only has panty hose on. She has nice tits with nice nipples to go with her slim figure. Her pussy is hot as I rub it, still covered by panty hose, until she yells for me to fuck her. I lower my panty hose. She does the same and we fuck for what seems like hours. We both then put on our panty hose and roll around in a sixty-nine on the floor. Her nyloned pussy and thighs cover my face and my balls and cock covered in nylon cover her face. We meet at her apartment every week for our little sessions.