FOREWORD (53 page)

FARRELL

I would prefer to ask one of my two secretaries to type this, but they are both middle-aged married women, who would be shocked at their boss’s thoughts. I am a heterosexual, quite successful, middle-aged business man. It is a second marriage for me; and my range of sexual experience has been fairly extensive. My sexual life with my present wife, Ellie, is essentially quite satisfactory, although she is not as Nancy Friday

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sexy as my first wife. That shows that sex alone is not enough to maintain a marriage.

Even though I am heterosexual, I believe that we all have a touch of the bisexual in us. I fantasize about one of my sex experiences in this realm. A homosexual friend, Gary, had an understanding that I could accept him fully as a friend without any homosexual interaction. One night away from home on a business trip, it was necessary for us to share a room and big double bed. I went right to sleep, but my body apparently became too much for him by morning, and he began to suck me while I was still asleep. He performed so gently that I did not awaken immediately. By the time I became fully aware of what he was doing, he had me so worked up and it felt so damned good, I didn’t care what he did. For high quality, pure sensation, he was better at it than most women. He brought me to a convulsive orgasm with his mouth while he masturbated himself.

I let him have sex with me on two other occasions when he cleverly used women to stimulate me without my full knowledge. He got Jan, another friend, to begin the sex act with me; but then she conveniently arranged to leave and he came in and took over. It went like this: Shortly after she began, she suddenly remembered that she had to go pick up a pre-scription for her mother at a certain drugstore before it closed. He appeared on the scene then, and we discussed what a good piece she was because she had fucked him too.

He said that many homosexuals fuck girls, particularly in between liaisons with other men.

Jan had told me Gary intrigued her too. Gary continued to talk about how he had fucked her. He got so hot in the process that he asked me to jack him off. Initially I declined, so he removed his clothes and began to masturbate while talking about Jan. Since he was naked beside me, I could see his nuts tighten within his scrotum as he proceeded. I knew what he was feeling because my own nuts do the same thing when I masturbate. He talked about how Jan’s tits always drew up very taut and erect and stuck out at an angle when she got Men In Love

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hot. He spoke of how she gyrated her pelvis and humped her ass. I could visualize her thrusting, cleanly shaven pussy and big clit sliding back and forth over Gary’s prick. I felt his penis was mine and I wanted Jan to fuck me so much I couldn’t stand it. At that point, Gary and I reached for each other’s pricks. We fondled each other’s genitals and our own alternately during the act. He shot off first, but I had to continue. As I neared my climax, I told Gary he could take me; and he did. I imagined my penis in Jan’s pussy as he took me with his mouth.

CLARK

I am a fourteen-year-old boy, about five-eight, and I never seem to run out of fantasies, or a strong urge to have sex with somebody.

I am primarily a bisexual, leaning on the heterosexual side.

Unfortunately, my resources in the area of heterosex are limited, because I am one of a group of “intellectuals” in my school. As almost everyone knows, you have to be a “Superjock” or a “freak” to get any free sex at my age. Meaning: The girls who are close to me in emotional thinking are not very permissive. And only a small percentage of those even look at me! So, my first sexual experience was with a boy somewhat younger than I. We had been actively discussing sex, since I started helping him on his paper route. Between us, our comments were usually heterosexual. Seeing as neither I nor he had any female outlets, we began to “play” in a shed in the back of our house. We had several mattresses, under which one of us would get, and the other would jump from a low shelf and pretend to hump him. Finally, he asked if I wanted to really fuck him, and without waiting for an answer, took his pants down. I was pretty large for him, he wasn’t even into puberty, and was quite short. I was exhausted when we finished. Enough biography, I guess.

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As to fantasies, I have one about an Arab boy who recently moved to this country and my school. He wants me badly, but I am afraid of going up to him and seeing what his real desire is. In other words, I really can’t be sure of what he will do.

He thinks I am strange, and spreads the word around the school that I am a homosexual. Anyhow, my fantasy is this: I am brave enough to ask him to come to my home for a sleep-over on a Friday night. I find his intentions are good. When I say “yes,” he gets in the bed with me. A few minutes of his rubbing my genitals, and he rolls me onto my stomach. I have not seen his penis yet, but when he thrusts it between my thighs as beginning stimulation, I reach around and feel his penis. It is about 8 inches long and pretty wide. After I felt it, I turned around to look, and verified my measurements visually. I have about the same size penis, larger, but I let him do the honors. After a few minutes of thigh stimulation, he vigorously enters me. Through the night I discover his erection just doesn’t go down, while in the process of sex. He fucked me throughout the night, over and over, endlessly.

We began to go on bike-backpack trips, to which he brought some friends – two of them. At night, a couple of miles from civilization, they all mount me in turn. Sometimes they have contests to see who of them can enter me in a specified amount of time. Occasionally one of them will switch places with me, and when I am doing the entering, I almost always win.

Oh, I neglected to say earlier, that one of the two “newcomers” is a powerfully built thirty-year-old man, the other is a seventeen-year-old boy. My original partner is fourteen, as I am. The seventeen-year-old has a penis which is in between the sizes of my own and my partner’s, and the thirty-year-old man has the largest of all. As my fantasy skips months, I see that we are all building ourselves up through exercise of weights, jogging, sports, etc., making myself and my original partner the envy of our school, and considered highly desirable, bull-strength intellectuals by the school girls. Of course, I can’t resist having sex with the most beautiful of the girls, Men In Love

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who allows me to go far just to be able to truthfully claim that I considered that particular girl desirable. Eventually, I lose interest in homosexual activity, but I don’t cut it out completely.

Other than these two homosexual fantasies, I have established dozens of heterosexual fantasies. My favorite follows: It is an earth type planet two hundred thousand light-years outside the earth’s galaxy. No animal or insect life exists that is potentially highly dangerous either to other animals or vegetation. I have found a way to freeze my aging process, and have frozen the aging of my five or sex intellectual best friends, and that of my cousin, Adrian, and some local female friends, I guess two or three. (I discovered my planet by a special gadget I invented a year ago on earth, and made a superfast transporter capable of sending me and my friends to and from earth in a manner of seconds.) I have built a super mansion (filled with electronic stuff in half of it, for living in the other half) of my own architectural design. I allow my friends to bring their own best friends, male and female, but past that, I allow no more. I am always with my female friends, my friends are with their own. Sex is gentle, free, and meaningful between myself and my girls. It is paradise, no other word for it.

In his desire to differentiate himself from homosexuals, Farrell (above) brings special definitions of participation into play. An enduring idea among male prostitutes is that if they remain passive during the act, their heterosexual status is not threatened. “I’m only in it for the money.” To remain completely detached, with never an answering caress, while the customer goes down on you, maintains machismo.

Farrell, too, makes little mention of reciprocation when he has sex with a man. At an exuberant moment, he may fondle the other’s genitals, but at the climax, Farrell is once again in command, even though in the passive role. He gives his homosexual friend permission to “take me.” He allows it to happen, but the tone is as if it were merely a favor he is allowing a needy friend.

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If Farrell is more open to these sexual experiments than most men his age, his actions still run along lines dictated by his generation’s notions of gender identity. The younger men in this chapter may also be a bit reluctant to initiate the action

– fear of rejection is always with us. But their hesitation is not meant to show they don’t care if the sex takes place or not. They want it. Once things are under way, notions of activity versus passivity, and whose idea was it in the first place, are soon forgotten. Andre is twenty-four, Jones’s college days are not far in the past (both below). For them, sex –

with either sex – is just “all very healthy and fun.” Everyone does, and is done to. Turn and turn about.

JONES

My wife and I are both twenty-seven. She claims that she has no fantasies (sexual, that is) but occasionally has romantic ones with no sexual overtones. Oh, well . . .

I fantasize sexually a lot. I’m turned on by porno and reading about others’ sexual fantasies and experiences. Lesbian pictures and scenes especially turn me on. From what I’ve read, most men are supposed to be turned on by the sight or thought of two women making love. I wonder how many women are turned on by the thoughts or scenes of men making it?

With that unanswered question, let me tell you about one of my homosexual fantasies. I guess I’m somewhat bisexual as I get turned on looking at pictures of guys with hard cocks and I have had two occasions where I sucked guys off.

My fantasy is rooted on a roommate I had for one semester in college. We were both addicted to pornographic stories and he enjoyed reading and jacking off to them as much as I did. One night I retired early but Ken proceeded to dig around the room looking for my supply of dirty books. He Men In Love

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found them, sat in the easy chair dressed only in his shorts and proceeded to read and rub his dick through his shorts. All the while I kept tossing and turning. The light on in the room coupled with Ken’s getting turned on, gave me no desire for sleep. But it did give me a big hard-on. Ken said he wasn’t embarrassed, so I got out of bed, nervously picked out a book, watched Ken’s reaction to my cock, then got back in bed to beat off under the covers while reading. Damned Kenny pretty much ignored me until I came and reached for a Kleenex near my bed to wipe myself off. Then he just sort of giggled. He then went to bed but disappointed me further by not beating off. I really wanted to get up, go to his bed and engage in mutual masturbation or to blow him. But it never happened. After graduation we never heard from each other.

My fantasy takes place in the present. I’m in an adult bookshop looking over the selection of gay magazines when who should also be there but Kenny. We strike up a conversation, quickly going over the years since college. Ken tells me that he never married and had a nice place nearby and that he also has a good selection of porno. I ask to see it and we go to his place.

Once there we have a drink and begin telling about our sex lives. I ask where he keeps his supply of porno and he leads me to his bedroom dresser and opens a drawer which is half full of gay magazines and also has women’s underwear. I pick up a black slip and hold it to myself and ask Kenny if he’d like to get dressed up. He’s not too enthused but finally agrees “for kicks.” I go to the other side of the bed and strip, pulling up dark nylon stockings, black nylon panties, and turn to face him as I’m pulling a full black slip over my head.

Kenny has put on nylons with garters and is pulling up his panties. His cock is half hard and mine is pulsing like it is now as I write this. As he gets his slip on I walk over and caress his sides and ass, pausing to rub his cock through the silky nylon. We put our arms around each other and engage in a long soft French kiss, rubbing our cocks against each Nancy Friday

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other and the super feel of the nylon underthings we’re wearing.

We fall on the bed rubbing against each other and making out. I slide down the bed, push up his slip and lower his panties. There after all these years is his beautiful hard cock. I suck and lick every inch of it. Finally, he comes in my mouth and I drink every drop. I lie back and light a cigarette. No one has said a word. He slips down the bed and proceeds to blow me just like I blew him. It’s great. He asks me to stay the night (the first time anyone has spoken), and I gladly agree.

We remove everything but our slips, then lie with his back to me, my hard cock against his ass and my hand curled around his dick. He asks me what I want to eat for breakfast. I reply,

“Your cock.”

In the morning, we wake about the same time and reach for each other’s cocks. We walk to the bathroom that way and hold the other’s dicks as we piss into the toilet. While drinking coffee on the couch, we continue to fondle each other; and I tell Ken how I’d like to be fucked up the ass. I get down on my knees in front of him and suck his cock till it’s good and hard. Then I He on the rug, place a pillow under my rear; and he kneels between my legs, slipping his cock in ever so slowly. When he’s all the way in he begins slow in-and-out movements while I reach for my own cock and masturbate to the same rhythm. As I feel his cock stiffen in my ass, I speed up my hand on my cock so that we come together, Kenny in my ass, I all over my chest. I reach down with my fingers and dip them in my white come, hold them to Kenny’s lips, and he licks my fingers clean then leans down and we French kiss, passing my come back and forth in our mouths.

You have no idea how much I’d like this to come true! If not with Kenny, then with some guy in his late teens or twenties. It would be great to spend the day blowing each other, dressing up, making out, and having a great time with no guilt, no fear of getting caught. I’d also like to make it with a Men In Love