Forget Me Knot (10 page)

Just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore, he pulled back, and added his thrusting fingers to her dripping wet opening. She could feel him stretching her well-fucked pussy, easing her muscles so that she could accept him without pain, and she let her head fall back. Staring up at the ceiling she shattered around his fingers, coming harder than she’d ever come before, and screaming his name.

They connected on a soul deep level as he made love to her, and when they finally slumped together on the bed they were satisfied and silent, both dealing with their own mixed emotions. Lacy wasn’t ready to admit out loud that she loved him, but she heard the words echoing in her head as a single tear slid down her cheek and soaked into the blanket beneath her.

Leaving Crawley Creek was going to kill her.

“Close your eyes.” Drannon instructed as he led Lacy toward the dining room doorway.

“Seriously?” she asked, closing her eyes and shaking her head. Part of him wanted to squirrel her away upstairs for the rest of her stay and refuse to let anyone else share in any of the short time they had together, but his brothers had gone above and beyond to make tonight special. He couldn’t disappoint any of them.

“Seriously. They’re all waiting for us.”

Roman’s voice called out, “Yes we are! And we could’ve already eaten if you two hadn’t been napping, so get in here before it gets cold.”

Lacy giggled and Drannon rolled his eyes at his brothers teasing. Leading her into the dining room, he carefully blocked her view until he was sure they were ready for her. Once Vin lit the final candle, Marilyn began to sing softly.

“Happy birthday to you…happy birthday to you…”

The rest of them joined in as Lacy’s eyes shot open in surprise and then automatically filled with tears. It was a strange feeling to see her crying happy tears because he wasn’t sure he liked seeing her cry at all, yet she’d done it several times in the last couple of days. He knew she’d reacted to their lovemaking earlier, and it was a tough decision not to speak up and ask her about it, but he’d promised her space. He couldn’t break that promise now.

“Oh, my God!” Lacy said, her trembling hands covering her lips. “You guys didn’t have to do this.”

In the center of the table was a casserole dish they usually used to make lasagna in, and it was filled with a lumpy looking cake covered in chocolate frosting. Several melting candles dotted the surface. His brothers all glowed with pride as Lacy reacted to their surprise.

“Sera once told me that everyone deserves a celebration of their life once a year. It’s a blessing to be given one more day with family and friends, much less one more year.” Hawke said, drawing everyone’s attention at his surprisingly philosophical thoughts.

Lacy nodded, “She was absolutely right. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.”

“Don’t thank us yet.” Roman said, snorting out a laugh, “You haven’t tasted it.”

Marilyn shook her head, “Usually, I would have made the birthday cake, but with me not feeling so spritely today the boys got it into their heads to raid my cupboards. It’s a good thing I keep a spare cake mix on hand, or who knows what you might have gotten. They threw out two different bowls of batter.”

“Three.” Hawke corrected, “That last one was Romeo’s fault.”

“How was I supposed to know there was more than one kind of sugar.” Roman protested.

Drannon laughed along with the rest of his family, as Vin retrieved the dish full of pasta and sauce for their supper, and Hawke cut the cake into large slices for everyone. He watched Lacy interact with his brothers and the other woman who played such a large role in his life, and he couldn’t help but fall completely over the cliff. There was no way he could lie to himself or Lacy and say this was all meaningless.

~ ~ ~ ~

“So, Marilyn, how did you come to be at Crawley Creek?” Lacy asked, redirecting the conversation as she licked frosting from her fork and then twisted spaghetti onto its tines.

The older woman took a piece of garlic bread and then replied, “I was another stray the Crawleys took in, believe it or not.” She paused to take a bite and continued, “I was married to my childhood sweetheart, but he was shipped off to Vietnam four days after our wedding. He came back with a traumatic brain injury, and he was never the same. A few years after he came back, he—” She stopped, emotion clogging her voice.

Lacy was horrified, “You don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry!”

Marilyn shook her head, “You would think after forty years it wouldn’t hurt so much to talk about, but it does. My David committed suicide, and because he was my whole life I found myself without a purpose. Like a ship on a cloudless night with no compass. I didn’t know what to do with myself. We’d had no children, and my parents were aging quickly. I met Sera at a church meeting, and we became friends. She was such a good listener… Anyways, when the money from David’s life insurance ran out, I came to work for Abe and Sera, and I’ve never looked back. They were my guardian angels as much as they were there for these boys.”

There was a heavy silence as everyone absorbed the impact of Abe and Sera Crawley’s legacy. They’d been two people with large hearts that were open to everyone, and they’d managed to create a family where there was none.

“I wish I could have met them.” Lacy said softly. “They sound like great people.”

Drannon nodded. “The best.”

“You know Sera used to wear her hair braided just like you do.” Marilyn said conversationally. Lacy looked at Drannon, surprised that he hadn’t mentioned that when they talked about her hair earlier.

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah,” Hawke said, nodding, “I can’t remember many times when her hair wasn’t braided. She even used to loop it up over her head like a rope or something. I always wondered how she kept it up there.”

Lacy laughed, “Women have special little devices called bobby pins and barrettes.”

Hawke flushed a bit, and grinned back, “I know what a bobby pin is. I remember trying to pick the lock on Lauren’s diary with one once or twice.”

“Who’s Lauren?” Lacy asked.

“She was one of the kids who stuck around longer than most. We took her under our wing when she came to the ranch because she was like one of the guys. She could shoot better than any man I know.” Drannon said, and Lacy tasted the bitter grains of jealousy on her tongue at the pride in his voice over another woman.

“So, she’s your foster sister?”

“No, she was never actually a foster kid, she just had to leave her mom’s house more than once to avoid getting the shit beat out of her. Every time she went back to her mom’s care she ended up back at Crawley Creek a couple of months later.” 

Feeling guilty that she’d been jealous, Lacy shook her head. “I can’t imagine what she went through. It was good she had you guys. How many kids actually lived on the ranch?”

Everyone at the table laughed, and Drannon answered, “Too many to count. Abe always joked that he should replace the front door with one of those metal turnstile the bus station has.”

“Do you still see Lauren or any of the others?”

“I talked to Lauren last week via email.” Hawke said.

“You did?” Vin’s eyes were wide with surprise, but his tone was rough. “Why didn’t you tell me you have her email address?”

“I didn’t know you wanted it,” Hawke said with a shrug. “She’s good. Living in Little Rock right now.”

“I still talk to several of them,” Roman added. “And some of them come back to see the old place every now and then. Crawley Creek leaves a mark on everyone who visits.”

Lacy nodded in agreement, as she finished off her dinner, “Yes, I can see how it would. It’s a special place.”

She could envision what the ranch might have looked like to a child who was broken and devoid of anything special in their lives. Drannon had spoken of Abe and Sera with such pride and awe that she knew they must have been special people, but hearing about all of their good deeds made her wonder at her own life. What was she really doing to make an impact on the world? Branding a bag of puppy chow? It seemed superfluous in comparison. She wanted to share in the experience of giving a child the love they needed to grow, but a baby wouldn’t fit into her future plans, and besides, she wouldn’t really know what to do with one.

Drannon would be a great father. The words flitted through her brain, and she immediately cursed herself for the stray thought. She was leaving North Dakota for good next week, there was no way she should be entertaining thoughts of children with anyone. She needed to stay focused on the future, and complete the plan she had in place.

Yes. That was what she needed to do, but was it really what she wanted to do?

The snow hadn’t piled up as much as the weatherman predicted, but the roads were impassable because of drifting, and Drannon knew that Vin’s offer to handle all of the daily chores while Lacy was at the ranch was an opportunity he couldn’t ignore, so for the last couple of days they’d done nothing but enjoy each other’s company. She’d resisted checking her email as far as he knew, but it would happen eventually. At some point they’d have to return to reality and he wasn’t looking forward to it.

Lacy was a woman unlike any he’d ever known. She was intelligent, witty, down to earth, and as sexy as any centerfold he’d ever seen. He wanted her with a strength that came from deep in his core, and the more he had of her, the more he wanted. It was almost like an addict’s obsession with their drug of choice. His body responded to her slightest touch, and he wasn’t sure how he was ever going to let her go. She’d captivated him from the first moment their eyes had locked, and now she’d captured his heart. He was thankful for the chance to be with her, but with every second of silence he was contemplating how he could convince her to stay.

All his life he’d lost the things that were important to him. His mother, his career, his marriage, even his freedom for a time. Why should he have to give up this happiness? He knew Lacy had a career goal, and he had no business asking her to give up her dreams, yet he couldn’t help imagining a future with her staying on the ranch. They would open their doors to foster children just as Abe and Sera had, and build a life here on the family ranch as he’d envisioned himself doing.

“Hello?”

Her voice broke into his deepest thoughts, and he looked down to where she was lying cradled against his side, her head on his chest. Her brown eyes were staring at him with rapt curiosity, and her lips curled up in a sexy smile.

“There you are. What’s got you so quiet all of a sudden?” she asked.

For just a moment, he considered laying his heart bare. Telling her everything, and letting her turn him down flat. Being heartbroken would be easier now, rather than in a few days when she had to leave, but he couldn’t do it.

“Nothing. I thought you were drifting back to sleep, so I was trying to let you rest.” He ran his fingertips over the curve of her hip. Her skin was petal soft, and she smelled slightly flowery from their shower before they’d tumbled into bed the night before.

“I don’t usually fall right to sleep after sex, but I have to admit, you’ve worn me out lately.” She teased, pinching his nipple.

“Ouch, hey!”

“It’s only fair that I get to do to you what you’ve done to me,” she said, pinching the other nipple.

He feigned shock and let out a small growl. “Women don’t play with men’s nipples.”

“Oh really?” She sat up slightly so that she could put her mouth over the nipple closest to her, and he gasped at the tingling sensation. She looked pleased when she pulled back. “You can’t tell me you don’t like it.”

“It’s not manly,” he argued. He loved her playful side.

She slid her hand to his cock which was thickening once again in spite of the exhausting efforts of the past night. “Feels pretty manly to me.”

“Keep it up and he’ll prove how manly he is.” Drannon teased.

“I’m not sure I can go again,” she said with a giggle. “My body is aching, big time.”

A shaft of pride went through him that he was the man who brought her to the edge over and over leaving her exhausted and satisfied. Pulling her flush against him, he kissed her softly, putting every ounce of emotion inside of him into the connection between their lips. Even if she wasn’t ready to hear him say the words, he needed to show his feelings somehow. With slow, sensuous movements, he made gentle, sweet love to her again.

~ ~ ~ ~

It took nearly a week for Lacy to gather her courage and turn on her laptop. They had yet to lose power at the ranch, but to her the twelve inches or so of snow was a blizzard of monumental proportions. Drannon just laughed it off as a small snow burst. The temperatures were bitter cold, and late in the afternoon the wind seemed to blow the snow so it was almost impossible to tell if it was snowing again, or just whipping up the same old stuff. As beautiful as the surrounding environment was, she knew she couldn’t keep burying her head in the blankets and pretending everything was okay, so today when Drannon went out to check on Dorothy, she made her way downstairs to the study.

The door was open, and she found Vin draped over the dainty chaise lounge. His massive frame dwarfed the piece of furniture in a comical way and she giggled drawing his attention from the book he was reading.

“Lacy, hey.” He hurried to sit up and find a more upright position as she moved into the room.

“Oh don’t mind me. I just came down to get online for a bit.” She said, heading across the room to take a seat at the large desk.

Vin let out a heavy sigh, and put his book on the coffee table. “Time to get back to the real world, huh?”

She nodded, and bit her lip to keep from tearing up. The last thing she wanted to do was show Drannon’s brother how much leaving would affect her.

“Does D know you’re still planning on leaving?” Vin asked.

“Yes, we’ve talked about it. I can’t just drop everything and move to another state for a man I’ve just met.”

Vin’s blue eyes narrowed, and he leaned forward propping his elbows on his knees. “What’s stopping you?”

She wanted to tell him that it was her career, and her dreams for the future, but she heard herself answering, “Fear.”

He nodded as though that was the answer he’d expected. “Yeah, I can see that. You know, when I got out of prison I was terrified that I wouldn’t be welcome on the ranch, but Abe was sitting outside the gate in his beat up pick-up truck the day I was released ready to take me back. He never asked me why I’d done what I’d done, he just accepted that I’d paid the price for my actions and wiped the slate clean.”

“Can I ask what happened?” she said warily.

“Drannon and I were at a bar while I was home for a couple of weeks, and there was this guy there with his girlfriend and his buddies. He was acting like a drunk douchebag, saying shitty things about military men, and me and D in general, but I was holding my temper in check. We were getting ready to leave and I had to take a piss—er—sorry—I had to use the facilities. That same jackass had his girl pinned to the wall in the hallway and he was hurting her. I couldn’t walk away and leave her, so I broke a bottle over his head to get his attention, and then broke his nose.”

“Ouch. So how did you end up in jail if you were trying to help her?”

“That’s the kicker of the whole night. His girl told the police that she was just fine and they were just having a lover’s quarrel that I got in the middle of. Her words sealed my fate when the scumbag decided to press charges for assault.”

“Wow.” Lacy whispered, wondering at a system that would put a man in jail for defending a woman.

“Yeah, it was a low point in my life that’s for sure. Uncle Sam cut me loose when I pled guilty to the charges, and I had to do my time. I wish to hell it’d played out different, but it is what it is.” Vin shrugged his big shoulders, and rose to his feet. “I guess my point is that you can’t always determine the outcome of something before it happens. Maybe it turns out great, but maybe it goes to hell and you get hurt. You’ll never know if you never take the risk. I know my brother. He’s been my salvation and my rock since I was seven years old, and I have to tell you, if you walk away it will break him.”

“Vin—” Lacy started to protest his involvement. He didn’t know all of the facts.

“No, listen. He’s in love with you, Lacy, and whether you’ve said it out loud or not I know you feel the same about him. Don’t give up a chance at something good because it wasn’t on your prewritten plan to happiness. Plans change, sometimes for the best.” With that Vin picked up his book and headed to the door.

“Vin,” she called out, and he turned around. “Thanks. You’re a good brother to him.”

The muscular man nodded, and gave her a smile, “Yeah, I am, but only because he taught me how to be.” Turning away he disappeared out the door leaving Lacy to face a monumental decision alone.

It took her another half an hour to open her inbox. She goofed around wasting as much time as she could, and avoiding the inevitable. When she clicked open the file, her worst fears and greatest joys were in front of her. The email was there. She got the job. If she wanted it, she needed to be back in Chicago by March first.

Based on her original reservations with the ranch and her flight plans that would work just fine, but instead of feeling excitement, Lacy’s stomach was in a ball of dread.

Accepting the job meant leaving Drannon and Crawley Creek behind. In just days, everything she thought she knew about her life had changed. She was no longer Lacy Denvers, career-driven, motherless loner who avoided entanglements.

Now she was Drannon’s sweetheart, and an entrepreneur who could telecommute if she wanted. As long as she didn’t take the dog food company’s account she could work from anywhere in the world. If she took it, she would have the substance on her resume to build a solid company, and if she didn’t take it, she could face months if not years of mediocre jobs that would barely pay her regular bills much less push her career forward. It was a virtual Catch-22, because taking it would mean giving up what she had with Drannon for good.

After mulling over the job offer for twenty minutes or so, she shut her laptop without responding to it. It physically hurt to think about packing her bags and walking off the ranch next week, but the fear of staying sat like a lump in her throat, choking out her logical thoughts.

As she thought about all of the things that had occurred in the last four days, the biggest one was the simplicity of Drannon’s gift to her for her birthday and Valentine’s Day. Instead of trying to buy her a gift that was expensive and lavish, he’d given her a piece of his heart. He showed her something that was special to him, and in doing so, he’d reached deep inside her soul and soothed a part of her that had been aching all of her life. Her father hadn’t even been able to do that.

Her father.

It was in that moment Lacy realized her father hadn’t even bothered to call her on her birthday. Perhaps he was busy with work, or just forgot, but it still hurt. Thirty years had passed since Lacy was born and her mother died, yet the man still hadn’t been able to forgive the child he blamed for his wife’s death.

He had spent her whole life holding his affection back from his daughter out of anger and hurt, hiding away from the world in order to keep from getting hurt again. In fact, now that she thought about it, his example was where she learned to hide herself away behind a computer. She had always preferred indirect interaction with her peers because they couldn’t hurt her if she kept the distance between them. Was she doing that now with Drannon?

Was she using the job offer as an excuse to avoid taking a risk and possibly getting hurt? It was all so clear…or was it?

Lacy surged to her feet from behind the desk and ran to the bedroom. She was a woman on a mission now, and nothing would stop her.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Lacy?”

Her father’s voice sounded confused, and she hurried to respond.

“Hi Dad. How are you?”

“Good. How are you?”

She felt her stomach twist in a knot. They sounded like acquaintances, not like a father and daughter.

“I’m great. In fact, I have some news.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“I got fired.”

He was silent for several moments before he asked, “And that’s good news?”

“Yes, it is.” She giggled into her cell phone imagining the look on Leo Denvers’ face. “Because I got fired, I decided to start my own company and take a vacation.”

“Well that’s good. Where did you go?”

“North Dakota. I’m there now, in fact.”

“That’s not the first place I would have guessed, but I hope you’re enjoying your stay.”

“I am, but that’s not all. See, I wanted to come here because I’ve always wanted to ride a horse, and you never let me as a kid.”

“What? It’s not like we had a stable full—”

“Wait, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I just meant that I wanted to fulfill a childhood dream, and in doing so, I actually met someone. Drannon Russo.”

“And this Drannon is important to you now?”

“He is. In fact, I think he’s more important to me than my career is.”

Leo was silent on the other end of the phone, but Lacy let the silence hold. She wasn’t going to do her father’s job anymore. If he had something to say, he needed to say it.

“I’m happy for you, but dear, you know that vacation romances don’t usually last.”

“I know, but I also know that’s not what this is. Can I ask you something, Dad, and you have to promise to answer me honestly?”

“Of course, Lacy, what is it?”

“If you’d known about mom’s health problem, would you have asked her to give up the pregnancy?”

Dead silence filled the phone line between them again, and she nervously picked at her nails while she waited for the answer she didn’t want to hear. When her father spoke again his voice was tight with emotion.