Forget Me When the Sun Goes Down (Forged Bloodlines Book 11) (15 page)

“Do you truly believe this?”  His head came up, his expression a mixture of hope and dread.  “Some of what I remember, I’m thinking I have not been so good of a man in the past.”

“Of course I do.  The past is the past.  All we can focus on is today.  Be the best man you can for today.”

“Be the best man,” he nodded, a new light coming into his eyes.  “And if I am this best man, will you reconsider returning to my side?”

I hated to crush that hope, but I didn’t want to lead him on either.  “I’ll be your friend, Jakob, I can’t promise anything more than that.  Besides, you shouldn’t do it for me, you should do it for yourself.  And you never know, you might have another lady waiting in the wings for you,” I added with a twinkle in my eyes.

His brows rise with interest.  “Who?”

“Oh, only the girl who’s out there studying until she passes out trying to restore your health.”

“Nelleke?”  It was clear to see from the look on his face that he’d never considered it.  “I feel kindly to her for helping me, but that is all.  There is nothing between us, I am confident of that.” 

“How do you know?  You might be getting ready to turn her, for all you know.  She seems pretty taken with you.”

Jakob shrugged.  “I don’t feel that pull when I look at her, not the same way I feel with you.  We are not bound the way you and I are, she is not my progeny.”

“All I’m saying is, give Nell a chance.  Get to know her better.  She might surprise you.”

“And perhaps some day I will surprise you as well,
älskling
,” he smiled with just enough charm to make me wonder that myself.  

“G’nite,” I murmured, biting my teeth together to keep them from chattering, but I still whimpered when I felt the first clods of dirt hit the tops of my feet.  It’s stupid, I know, but the more dirt Lee piled onto me, the more trapped I felt, even though it was a shallow grave at best.  Even that small amount of weight pressed against me, and I went into full panic mode as my lungs constricted. 

“I can’t do this!” I squeaked, pushing the tarp free and taking in great gulps of air as I sat up.  The sun stung my exposed face and arms, and I could hardly see through the protective tears my eyes produced.  “Just cover me with the tarp and weight it down with some rocks or something,” I wailed, still shaking from head to foot. 

“That’s not going to be good enough,” Bishop frowned.  At least his voice sounded all frowny, he was little more than a blur to me.  “Give me that shovel.”  I felt the dirt cleared off of my legs and breathed a sigh of relief, waiting for him to help me out of the hole.  Instead of giving me a hand up, Bishop climbed in beside me, pulling the tarp over both of our heads as he held me close in the confined space, his knees drawn up to make room for his longer legs. 

“Go ahead, Lee,” he called out, and almost immediately, I felt the thud of dirt on my legs again.

“No, I can’t do this,” I gulped, dragging in a painful breath as my lungs seized up. 

“Anja, look at me,” he commanded, his stern voice penetrating my terror.  To my surprise, I could see the outline of his face even with the tarp over our heads.  “I’m here with you and you’re going to get through this.”

I heard the words, but the fear didn’t completely recede.  “But… I can’t… can’t breathe…” I managed to get out, and he reached up to brush the tears away from my cheek. 

“You don’t need to breathe, remember?  Just relax.  The only air you need is if you want to talk, and you can recycle the same air over and over again.  It’s physically impossible for you to suffocate in here.”

My mouth popped open as I realized he was right, but it didn’t lessen the burning in my chest.  “It still hurts,” I hiccupped, and he laid his hand over my heart where it ached the most. 

“Hold your breath with me and count to ten inside your head.”

I did as he said and the pressure did ease some, though I still trembled with every new shovel of dirt that hit, especially when it landed directly over our heads and the dim light faded. 

“Are you still counting?” he rumbled in the darkness.  “Switch to German.”

I nodded, and he led me through a half dozen languages, leading by example when he hit upon one I wasn’t familiar with.  My brain occupied, it got easier until I realized I was getting weaker, and that sent my panic into overdrive again. 

“I’m slipping away,” I murmured, fighting against it, and I felt his lips against my cheek as he spoke. 

“It’s just the sun rising higher in the sky.  You face this every morning.  Can you feel your body growing heavier?”

“Yes, I feel it.”

“Your body wants to sleep.  Let it drift away.” 

I was already drifting.  He sounded farther away, but I couldn’t let go completely, not yet.  “What if I don’t come back?”

His lips curved against my cheek.  “Then I’ll find you and bring you back.  You trust me to keep you safe, don’t you?”

“Yes.” 

Bishop’s lips brushed against mine in the lightest of kisses.  “Sleep then, Anja.  I’ll be here when you wake.” 

I woke from the dream (or was it a memory?  I couldn’t be sure), and lay there, thinking about Bishop, and the way I’d felt with him lying next to me.  Safe, still afraid – I was being buried alive for goodness sake, but I believed heart and soul that he’d take care of me.  Was it only a dream?  It didn’t feel like it, but maybe that’s because I didn’t want it to be. 

The thing was, I had to push it back into the realm of dreams, because my reality was lying right beside me, and we had a future to plan together that didn’t include Bishop as anything more than a friend.  And it wasn’t like I didn’t like Rob.  I rolled over to watch him sleep, taking in his strong profile, and those sinewy hands.  Everything about him was hard, but with me he was tender.  Rob loved me, and I knew deep down I’d recover those deep feelings of love for him, I just had to be patient. 

“Rob,” I said softly, shaking his shoulder when he didn’t so much as twitch.  “Rob?”  Nothing.  It stood to reason that if he’d fallen asleep earlier than I had, he’d probably sleep in later too.  If we had some stims I could probably get him to wake up, but there probably wasn’t a pressing need for that, and stims could be dangerous.

Stims. 

Rob cut over to the far aisle on the other end of the parking garage, lighting a cigarette as he kicked back to wait for someone.  What were the odds of that? 

“That was close, I don’t think he saw us though,” I whispered.  While we watched, another man joined him, a guy I’d never seen before.  They shook hands, but Rob didn’t seem to be on very friendly terms with him, despite the guy’s prominent smile.

“What are we doing hiding?  Isn’t that the guy you came into the police station with before?  Or do you not want him to see you steppin’ out with this guy?” Mathis chuckled.

“Shh!” I shot him a deadly look, but the detective was blasé about my concern.

“Relax, they can’t hear us.” 

“You don’t know that.”

“Trust me, if I can’t hear them, they can’t hear us,’ he said with utter confidence and I had to take him at his word that a werewolf’s hearing was sharper than mine.  “Anyways, I don’t think he’s worried about much more than his next fix.”

“What are you talking about?”

“That guy he’s meeting with is a specialty dealer.  Whatever he’s looking to score is the only thing he’s thinking about right now.  Why do you think I chose this location?  This is the place to go if you don’t want to be seen by the cops, all the supes know about it.  There ain’t a surveillance camera around for blocks.”

“He’s not on drugs,” I hissed, keeping my voice down despite the assurance that we couldn’t be heard. 

“Are you sure?” Carter said from over my shoulder.  “Looks to me like he’s got the shakes.”

There was a definite tremor to his hands as money was exchanged for a small box, but maybe that was a case of nerves?  Maybe he was buying information, like I was?  Or some kind of a special gun?  A specialty dealer didn’t have to mean drugs.  Rob shattered those slivers of hope a second later when he tore into the box and downed the contents of a tiny vial, a shudder going through his body as he swallowed.

The dealer slunk off in the direction of the stairs, leaving Rob, who slumped against the car, the heel of his hand pressed against his eye socket.  Whatever it was packed a big punch. 

Rob had a problem with stims?  I lay there, my brain spinning all sorts of scenarios as to why he’d felt the need to take them and why I’d been spying on him in the first place.  Carter sounded familiar to me.  I had a listing for him in my phone, and now I could drive somewhere that had a signal, but I wasn’t sure how close I was to him.  I couldn’t call up a random acquaintance and be all –
hey, I don’t really remember you, but could you maybe tell me why my husband has a secret stim habit? 
Could I?

Stims.  Maybe that explained his explosive temper?  I was tempted to search through his stuff and see if I could find any of the vials, but decided against it.  If this marriage was going to survive, I couldn’t start out going behind his back like that.  I’d have to pick my moment and talk to him about it – after we got through all the Jakob ritual drama. 

For the moment, I decided to shower and change into my Big Damn Heroes t-shirt and jeans.  The power seemed to be holding steady, and there was plenty of hot water, I considered that a good sign.  Aubrey, Carys, and Bishop were already up and hanging out in the great room, with Carys lounging on the loveseat with one leg draped dramatically over the arm, and Aubrey sitting on the floor beside it.  Bishop sat by the fireplace swiping through the pages of his cell phone.  That reminded me, I needed to stick my phone on the charger now that we had the power back on. 

“Hey,” Bishop said, looking up as I walked in.

“Hi,” I smiled back.  “Where’s Nelleke and Jakob?”

“Still asleep.”

“Together?”

That threw him for a loop.  “I... don’t know.  Are they a thing?”

“Of course not,” Carys said with an indelicate snort.  “She’s far too common for an
Ellri
.  If that’s what he is.” 

“How do you know?  Nelleke might be an
Ellri
herself.”

“I highly doubt it,” she sniffed.

“What makes you say that?”

“Because
Ellri
are extremely rare.  Don’t you know anything?” 

I knew enough to know I shouldn’t keep arguing with her.  What would be the point?  She was obviously feeling grumpycakes and taking it out on me.  “I’m glad they’re getting some rest,” I said, more to change the subject than anything else.

“I’m hungry,” Carys whined like a five year old at bedtime. 

“No, you’re not.  You ate last night,” Bishop reminded her.  “You’re bored, that’s not the same thing at all.”  He was a much better man than me.  I probably would’ve stabbed her with another chopstick if I had to spend any more time with her than was strictly necessary.  What did he see in her?

“Of course I’m bored.  There’s nothing to do in this primitive cottage.”  Her head lolled back, blonde hair nearly touching the floor as she stared up at the ceiling.  “I don’t see why we have to remain here, I dislike the country.  The city is so much more diverting, don’t you think?”

Bishop fixed her with a patient look.  “We’re not here to entertain you, we’re here to help Jakob.  Once that’s done, we can leave.” 

And then I probably wouldn’t see him again for a while.  Whatever friendship we’d had before would probably have to be put on hold as long as Rob felt jealous toward Bishop.  “Where are you going?  Rob says we’re from San Francisco, but I don’t remember it.”

“I don’t know,” Bishop answered with a long breath.  “I didn’t find anything in the house that tells me where I’ve been living.”

“Let’s go to London, or better yet, to Paris!” Carys declared.  “I do so prefer being among civilized, cultured people.” 

“I’m with you, sweeting,” Aubrey grinned up at her.  “Say the word and we’ll go.”

“You’ll stay here where your needed, or I’ll find something to chain you to again,” Bishop muttered, and Aubrey sulked.  Carys started in again about not owing Jakob anything, and I got out of there.  It was all starting to give me a headache, and I doubted any of them noticed when I slipped out. 

I found the study empty, and sat by the fireplace to try and light a fire.  Maybe I’d been a Girl Scout in the past, because it didn’t take long for the fire to catch, and I smiled in satisfaction.  I know I didn’t feel the cold like humans did, but the heat from the fire still felt nice on my skin.  I pulled a lap blanket and a couple of pillows from one of the chairs and settled in on the ground to watch the flames lick up the sides of the crackling wood. 

I wasn’t particularly thinking about much of anything, just letting my mind wander, so Bishop really got the jump on me when I noticed him standing next to hearth.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in,” he said, his hands coming up, uncertainty written all over his face. 

“No, you’re fine,” I smiled.  “I was just taking a break from all the drama.”

“Same,” he said with a wince that I knew had to be Carys based. 

“Well, grab a lap blanket and join me by the fire.”  I waved him over, and he sank onto the floor beside me. 

We sat in silence for a few minutes, before he asked, “Rob still asleep?”

“Yep.  He must be younger than the rest of us.”

“I have to say, I don’t see the two of you together.”

“I must’ve loved him enough to marry him at some point.”  Beyond that, I couldn’t say how we’d ended up down that road together.  Sure, Rob was a sexy man, but what did we have in common?  I had no idea.

“But you don’t now?”

A denial leapt to my lips, but Bishop’s expression was so earnest, and I felt so comfortable with him, I couldn’t help the admission that popped out.  “I don’t know what I’m feeling now.  It’s kind of hard with all those memories missing.  And the ones I do get are sort of confusing.  I’m remembered some good things, but problems too.  And without any context... I just... It’s all kind of jumbled, you know?”

“Yeah, I think I can understand how you feel,” he replied, his gaze trained on the fire. 

“Why are you with someone like Carys?” I asked after the silence stretched on for a while. 

“I must’ve had a good reason at some point,” he replied, echoing my words.  “I just can’t remember what it is.  Maybe she’s going through a bad time right now and this isn’t her usual behavior?  Maybe she’s kind to animals?  Maybe it has something to do with being poisoned by Jakob’s blood, or...

“Or maybe you’re really seeing her for the first time?” I said gently, not liking how hard he had to dig to try and justify being with her.  He deserved so much better.  “She seems like the type to play games.”