Forgetting Jane (20 page)

“Now, please take it easy,” Magda advised, packing up her medical bag.

“I will try.”

“You know I was serious about what I said. You’re in love with Jane. Don’t you feel it?”

Eli had gotten a sudden splitting headache. “I have to head back to the station right now. Call me if anything happens,” he said, ignoring what she said. He kissed her cheek and headed out.

Acknowledging the idea of love or that he was in love with Jane intensified his pain. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He shot a look back at Magda before he left the house.

J
ane woke up with a jolt. Her body ached as she twisted herself around onto her back. The last thing she fully remembered was falling asleep in Eli’s arms. It was wonderful, blissful. Then the next thing she vaguely recalled was water and cold. Was it a dream? They made no sense to her. She tried to put the pieces together, but her head hurt too much to think at the moment.

Staring up at the ceiling, trying to release the balled up tension from her body, Jane rubbed at her eyes and yawned. She stretched from side to side, letting the ache in her muscles and joints work itself out. As she turned to her side, she noticed Magda sleeping on the rocker.              

With her arms folded together and head tilted to one side, she looked so peaceful, almost… Jane’s panic spiked. She reached out to touch the woman’s hand. Her skin was warm. Magda shifted her head to the other side.

Jane expelled a heavy breath out. Relief flooded as she sat on the edge of the bed. She let out a small laugh.

In the short time she had spent with the nurse, Jane adored the woman. Magda had become a solid part of her life, a support system from the moment she had woken up in the hospital.

Jane took a moment to let her pulse calm when she noticed all the clothes Eli had on the floor. They were placed in neat piles by the door. She then saw her feet crusted in dried dirt. Bits of brown grass stuck out between her toes.

“What the—” She brought one foot up to get a better look. “Grass?”

“You went for a walk,” Magda said as she straightened herself up on the chair.

“Where? I don’t remember.” She wiped the dirt off with her hands. “Am I losing my mind?

“No, dear. But maybe you’re being possessed. That is what Elias says.”

Jane’s head shot up. She wasn’t sure if she heard the old woman correctly. “Say that again.”

“Elias believes you were possessed.”

Jane nodded. “In all the lapse of memory and time I have, I believe him.”

“How are you feeling?” Magda asked, rocking slowly.

“Sore, but good.” Jane continued to pick at her feet. She paused and looked up at Magda. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It amazes me that you can’t remember anything.”

The way Magda phrased the question made her pause.

“Eli found you by the lake.”

“What?” Jane dropped her foot. “When?”

“A few hours ago. That is where the mud came from,”

“I’m going to throw up.” Before Jane could move, vomit spewed forth like a small fountain. The liquid splashed all over the floor. Her legs and nightgown were covered with the slimy yellow mess.

“Oh dear. Jane, let’s get you into the bathroom.” Magda led her to the tub. She turned on the water and helped Jane undress.

“Wait.” Jane grabbed her arm. “Where’s Elias?”

“Work. But right now you should wash up first before you call him—and I think tea will help your stomach.”

Magda pulled off Jane’s nightgown and dropped it in the vomit puddle. Then she led Jane to the bathroom and started the water in the tub.

Magda helped Jane into the tub. “Here’s some soap and a washcloth.”

The hot water rose quickly. Jane tucked her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. “Why don’t I remember anything?” she asked. She didn’t want to be alone.

“I don’t know,” Magda said as she sat on the edge of the tub. With a warm smile, she brushed back Jane’s hair. “Elias says that you were possessed by his mother and maybe someone else. He swears it, and I have never seen him swear to anything. Maybe that is why you can’t remember things, it wasn’t you inside here.” She pointed to Jane’s temples.

“Everything I’ve been seeing is through…” Jane choked. She took deep breaths so not to throw up in the tub. It all made sense. All the visions and dreams. It wasn’t her.

After a few minutes of silence, Magda asked, “Do you want me to help you wash? I can clean up after.

“No. Thank you. I’d like to be alone right now.”

Magda nodded. “Do not get your head wet. I have dry shampoo for after.” She reminded Jane before she stepped out of the room.

Jane rocked herself, sloshing the water all around the tub. “Why is this happening to me?” she cried out. She could have killed Elias. It was a risky move.

Her temples pounded like a kettledrum. Jane stuttered out a breath. She couldn’t breathe through her nose. She splashed the hot water to wash away the tears. Jane wished Elias were there to hold her, to put his arm around her until the world disappeared.

She covered her face with both hands and wiped away any remnants of tears. Her whole miserable life—of what she knew of herself, had been horrible. She had been beaten, buried and left for dead. She nearly got a cop killed while being naked and possessed by ghosts and she had been running around outside, exposed to the one person who wanted her dead. And for what, she had no clue.

The only real thing in her life was Elias. The strength he exuded made her stronger but…

Then it hit her. Was she falling for him? That realization smacked her like a baseball bat. She couldn’t be in love with the man. Elias made Jane feel as though she had an identity, and a somebody. And, she slept with him, once—okay, twice, but it wasn’t love.

Maybe sleeping with Elias was a bad idea.
It can’t and won’t happen again.

Jane didn’t want to think about him anymore, or anything else that mattered. She sniffled back her last remnant of tears and leaned back against the tub. The hot water melted away all the anguish, confusion and worry she had. She closed her eyes and let the heat absorb into her bones.

Less than a minute had gone by when a cool subtle breeze swept across her face. It chilled her right away; her stomach tightened and she couldn’t help but shiver. Jane sank further into the hot water to ward off the cold.

The back of her head pained her but it wasn’t terrible. Someone was with her in the bathroom. Jane scrunched her eyes tighter and held her breath.
Just go away. Just go away.

Against her better judgment, Jane opened her eyes. She exhaled slowly and saw her breath crystallize, mixing in with the warm steam of her bath.

Jane slowly sat up, her eyes edged above the tub. Near the toilet, a dark shadow hovered. The form shifted, turning from a hazy blur into a frail woman. She was lovely. Her smile was warm and genuine. Sincerity reflected in her brown eyes. Jane was not afraid. “Barbara.” She spoke in a soft whisper.

Elias’s mother gifted her with another smile.

There was an understanding between them. Jane saw it. A mother who loved her son so much that she came back to protect him. Jane choked up from the love she felt in Elias’s mother.

Barbara extended her hand and touched Jane’s head. A soft electric zap coursed through her scalp. Jane couldn’t—wouldn’t move. Love and appreciation flowed through her; she wanted to weep.

As fast as she appeared, with a simple nod, Barbara disappeared into thin air.

Jane choked back the sob. “You’re welcome.”

It was scary, but at the same time, it was the greatest feeling in the world. It was gratifying to know that she helped someone get a bit of revenge and move on. If only she could do that for herself.

She leaned back and let her arms rest on the edges of the tub. A bit of her resolve changed. She was no longer afraid, but more determined to find out what happened to her. Hiding out in the chief’s house made her realize it wasn’t about her anymore. In her gut, the killer had taken other lives. Her dreams proved it.

She bet he hadn’t counted on her surviving. Jane needed to break down her dreams, see the clues given to her and figure out who the girl in the yellow dress was. Deep down in her gut Jane knew the girl died a horrible death.

Her blocked memory was the key. Jane had to find a way to unlock it. All the pieces were there. All she needed to do was fit them together and decipher it.

There was no doubt that the girl in the yellow dress wanted retribution, and so did Jane.

“
W
ho cleaned the floor?” Eli called out through the doorway of his office, scratching his head.

“It was me, Chief. I didn’t throw anything away. I placed all the papers in one pile and magazines in another.” Cindy Lee stood in the threshold of the storage room with a box in her shaky hands. Her timid smile quickly softened Eli’s irritation.

“Sorry for snapping. It has been a long crazy day.”

“I’m surprised you’re here. Rest is most important after being shot. We’ve got the station covered, Chief,” Cindy Lee said as though she was an expert. She jostled a large box in her arms.

Eli looked down at the neat piles. “Did you see anything odd while cleaning up?”

“No. I guess I wasn’t paying much attention. I thought you knocked the piles down and didn’t clean it up.”

“Thanks, Cindy, for cleaning up.” He half grinned. “Hey, what’s in the box?”

“Halloween decorations. It’s in a week, and I thought—You don’t mind if we put up decorations? Henley let us, even though he hated holidays. I also have ten bags of candy for our little visitors.”

“Sounds good to me.” He was so wrapped up with the case and Jane that a simple holiday like Halloween would have passed by and he wouldn’t have noticed.

Cindy squeaked with joy. “And by the way, I like you without the straggly beard.” She walked away quickly.

“Um, thanks.” He shook his head and closed his office door.             

Eli took off his jacket and hat, tossed them over to the coat rack. He stared at the two mounds for what seemed like forever before he sat down and sorted through them.

Frustration burned at him. Another life was lost and he was no closer to finding out who was behind this. His gut told him, it was only one man—the same elusive man who tried to kill Jane. That bastard seemed to be always a step ahead.

He had a sudden urge for a cigarette. That blanched tar taste coated his tongue—his mouth watered. Instead of reaching for his emergency cigarette hidden in the back top drawer of his desk, he snatched up a pen and popped it into his mouth and began chewing on the tip.

Think, damn it!

Then the thought hit him. The State Police.

Contacting State might be the only solution to move this case forward. They had the resources Eli needed. But, if the State took over, Jane would be taken away to a true safe house, out of reach of the killer, and away from him.

However, he doesn’t think it would stop the murders. Jane was just one part of this twisted up situation.

And the idea of the killer being a local scared the shit out of him. It could be anyone. Someone he had known all his whole fucking life, not realizing they were a murderer.

Jane.
Her name filtered through her mind like a caress.

Damn!
When did he lose his balls? Over a woman? But Jane was different. Eli had to admit she had changed him. If he acted on impulse, he’d be heading home.

Instead, Eli took a handful of papers and rifled through it. He found nothing, dumped it and moved on to the next set of papers. An hour of this set his teeth on edge.              

Time dragged a few more hours but he finally got through all the papers and magazines. He didn’t find any additional information hidden in the piles of papers and magazines.

He dropped the last small pile of papers and magazines in the garbage bag and took it out.

He threw the trash in the dumpster and headed back inside.              

Ryan stood just inside the doorway. “What happened to the back door?” Ryan asked with a mouthful of donut holes. Powdered sugar rimmed his lips.

“Someone tried to break in but nothing was taken—Hey, call Sherman to get a new door in right away.”

“Do you think James did it?”

“No.” Eli walked back toward the holding cells.

Caroline and James were sound asleep. Eli walked up to his father’s cell and stared down at the old man. He didn’t know why, but at that moment something about James intrigued him. How peaceful he looked when there wasn’t a bottle of Jim or Jack in his hands, or swinging fists.

Right after James took off, Eli and his mother’s lives changed for the better. It was the only great thing the son-of-a-bitch did for them. McAvoy Senior could have possibly been a decent father and a loving husband, if it wasn’t for the poison he drowned himself with.

Eli rethought his question about James having been a good father. He shook his head no. As that notion settled in his mind, the answer was more directed toward himself. After the upbringing he had, could he be the father he had always wanted growing up? Would he bring a child into his world and then discard it like garbage the way James did to him? No.

That concept choked him hard. A large knot formed in the pit of his stomach. The heaviness of his answer dragged him down. He feared what he was capable of being and quickly ignored it.

Eli had enough of his own worthless appraisal and walked out.

He saw Tom standing in his office. “Where have you been?” Eli snapped while taking his chair.

“I had to finish taking a statement from one of the nurses who was friends with the victim. What the hell happened to the back door? Ryan told me it was busted.” He thumbed in that direction.

“Someone decided to break into our establishment and play confetti with the papers in my office.”

“Isn’t the usual custom to
break out
of jail?”

Eli laughed. He walked back into his office and took a seat. “Ryan is calling Sherman to get a new door put in right away.”

“So what’s missing?” Tom asked as he picked a folder off the desk and sifted through it.

“I don’t know. Nothing? Henley had so much crap piled up here and there, I never got a chance to go through it all. Anyway, I think they were looking for something in particular. Nothing in the station was touched except for my office.”

Tom shook his head. “Do you know what they were looking for?” He touched his forefinger against his temples and stared at Eli.

“I really don’t know. Who knows what Henley hid in here. I haven’t found it. But you think this incident may have something to do with Jane’s case, say it.”

“It could be possible.”

“Well, I don’t. There is nothing in here relating to Jane, except her file, which consists of nothing.” The lie gnawed at his gut. Maybe he should tell his deputy what he discovered, but not trusting anyone in this town—this county, he kept quiet about the map and pictures.

Tom nodded and then changed the subject. “How is Magda doing?”

“What?” Eli nearly forgot about the lie.

“Your mother’s things?”

“She should be almost done.” Eli cleared his throat. “The church will be happy to take all of my mother’s clothes.” He touched his shot shoulder and gave a slight rub.

“Head home.” Tom suggested. “I’ve got things covered here. You need to rest your shoulder.”

Eli blew out a breath. “Sounds good to me.” He slowed his steps as he grabbed his jacket and hat. He didn’t want to look eager. “Let me know if anything comes up.”

“Will do. Hey, how’s Jane?”

Eli faltered on his step out. He turned around and looked at his deputy. “I guess she’s fine. Dr. Rollins has her under constant care.”

“You haven’t been going to see her at the hospital?”

“Why this sudden interest in Jane, Deputy?” Eli’s tone was a little clipped.

“I want this case to be over with as much as you, Chief. I’m hoping she might have regained some of her memory. That’s all.” Tom stood up and faced him. His tone was as hard as Eli’s.

Eli relaxed his stiffened posture. He leaned against the frame of the doorway. The guilt had started to eat at him. “With my father here and this murder, my focus is split ten different ways. Sorry for snapping. And I’m worried how Magda will react about the nurse.”

Tom’s hard stare softened. “It will be hard on her.”

“Yeah. I’ll see you in a few,” Eli said before walking out.

“Will do, Chief.”

He hated when Tom called him Chief. Eli deserved his deputy’s condescending attitude for his cantankerous shot out.

He gave Tom a nod and left without looking back. Eli drove home fast. His mind whirled around Jane. He couldn’t wait to see her, touch her. He did his usual check around the property, but quickly. The late afternoon sun streamed into the living room where Jane and Magda sat playing cards.

He stood back quietly in the doorway and watched the women. Jane had on some new clothes, his mother’s. How beautiful she looked, happy and carefree. It was as though it were another normal day.

It had been a long time since his home had had serenity, contentment and laughter.

Eli’s chest hurt. His heart stuttered hard against his ribcage. The certainty that he was falling in love with this woman made him lightheaded. It happened so fast, he didn’t see it coming. But Magda had.

Jane made him smile whenever she looked at him in her simple and honest way. Secretly, he loved the way she called him Ass. Her nose stuck up in the air, flared. Her wide eyes bored through him like an awl. He purposely wouldn’t answer her to get a reaction out of her. He had to laugh.

But most of all he loved her for the strength she had inside her. To overcome such tragedy and still take on whatever came her way with stride. But did he love her enough to keep her in his life?

Oh yeah, he did love her. That acknowledgement made him shake. Did she feel the same? What if their relationship was only a physical connection? Damn, why was he thinking like this?

Their laughter broke through his thoughts. He didn’t want to break the happy flow. Eli stepped back from view.

Now, he had to figure out how to break the news to Magda about the murdered nurse. She was in too good of a mood for him to spoil it. He had to break the news to her soon. It’d be better coming from him instead of her finding out from one of her staff.

Eli stepped back into the living room.

Jane looked up from her cards and gave him a welcoming grin. Her silent greeting melted his anxiety away and gave him an instant hard-on.

He wasn’t a horndog but sure acted like one around her. He craved her touch the second she smiled. He had never wanted anyone as much as he wanted Jane.

Eli winked at Jane and grinned back. He walked up next to Magda and settled down next to her.

“Oh, Elias. I didn’t hear you come in,” she said as she dropped down a five of hearts. “Gin.”

“That’s not fair.” An unsexy snort came from Jane as she dropped her cards onto the table.

“Who’s winning?” he asked while eyeing the run of cards displayed on Magda’s side.

“Magda. She’s beating the pants off me,” Jane declared. She threw up her arms. “I’m done playing.”

“Ahh, honey. You’re not quitting on me, are you? One more game.”

“Nope, I’m done. Plus the back of my head hurts.”

Eli instantly straightened up. “What’s wrong with your head?”

Jane laughed. “Magda took out my staples. It’s sore, that’s all.”

“Okay,” he said. His body relaxed.

Magda nudged his leg. “How’s your shoulder feeling?”

“Sore but good,” he said, but his eyes stayed on Jane.

“Are you hungry? Neither one of us has eaten yet. I got some potato salad and ham.” Magda got up and headed to the kitchen.

“I am hungry.” His voice came out in a low growl but Magda didn’t reply. His answer was directed toward Jane, who blushed.

Eli cocked his head to one side and signaled her to go upstairs. She laughed, but shook her head no. He bowed his lips into a pout, a silent plea for her to agree. But she wouldn’t surrender to his childish ruse.

In her counter, Jane got up from the chair and walked away. “I’ll help you, Magda,” she said, with a cute giggle. He loved the sound of her laughter.

She skirted around the other side of the sofa to avoid his reach. Disappointment trickled in as he watched her walk away. He rubbed his face and leaned back against the couch.

What the hell was he doing? Acting like some sex crazed teenager wasn’t him. He had to tell Magda about the death and here he was thinking with his dick.

More emotions bound him to Jane than sex. But the image of her naked under him seemed to get in the way of him doing his job.

Eli sat back up and rubbed his hands almost in a prayer like manner, then got up to tell Magda what happened at the hospital.

As he watched the scene in the kitchen, Eli got a glimpse of what reality could have been for him if he grew up in a normal home. Could he still have it?

A splinter of sorrow wedged in his heart. Instead of walking away, which was his usual tactic, he stepped up and grabbed the plates out of Jane’s hands and placed them on the table. “I need you two to sit for a second.”

Jane slipped her hand in his and squeezed it tenderly. “Is everything all right?” She whispered so softly that the words were barely audible.