Forgiveness (14 page)

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Authors: Iyanla Vanzant

BOOK: Forgiveness
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I forgive myself for judging my mother for not

I forgive myself for judging my mother about

I forgive myself for judging my mother when

 

– I F
ORGIVE
M
YSELF FOR
B
ELIEVING

EXAMPLE

I forgive myself for believing my mother made me feel stupid.
I forgive myself for believing my mother made me feel

I forgive myself for believing my mother did not make me feel

I forgive myself for believing my mother should not have made me feel

I forgive myself for believing my mother should have made me feel

 

– T
APPING
S
EQUENCE

BONUS TAPPING SCRIPT DAY 4: “I FORGIVE MY MOTHER”

I
DENTIFY THE
I
SSUE AND
R
ATE THE
I
NTENSITY
L
EVEL

After writing out your 12 Forgiveness Statements for Day 4, the specific mother forgiveness issue(s) that you want to work on are becoming increasingly clear. Give the issue a name. Now on a scale of 0 to 10, where 0 represents “complete freedom from disturbing thoughts” and 10 represents “these thoughts are driving me crazy,” rate the intensity of the thoughts, judgments, and beliefs you have about your “unforgiveness” of your mother.

C
LEARING
R
ESISTANCE
/T
HE
R
EVERSAL
S
TATAMENT

The Reversal Statement neutralizes any subconscious resistance you have to releasing your unforgiveness of your mother. It acknowledges your resistance and moves you forward anyway.

Use the Reversal Statement provided below (or one that you’ve written yourself) and repeat it three times while tapping continuously on the Karate Chop point.

 
  • Even though there is a part of me that is resistant to forgiving my mother, and no one can make me change my mind, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.

Shake your hands out and have a few sips of water. Take a deep breath in through your nose. Release the breath slowly and softly through your mouth, making the sound “Ahhhhh” as you do so.

T
HE
S
ET
-U
P
S
TATEMENT

The Set-Up Statement helps you focus on the issue that you’ll be addressing during your tapping session. Choose one of the Set-Up Statements below (or use one that you’ve written yourself) and repeat it three times while tapping continuously on the Karate Chop point.

 
  • Even though I have all of this pent-up unforgiveness toward my mother, I have a right to be angry for the way she treated me. I refuse to let it go, because it is my anger, my resentment, my bitterness, and I still love myself and respect my feelings.
  • Even though there is a part of me that believes that my mother has no right to expect my forgiveness, I sometimes want to let her off the hook for some of the horrible things she has done, but I can’t. Nevertheless, I still deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
  • Even though withholding my forgiveness is keeping me stuck in anger at my mother, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to let it go. I want to love and accept myself anyway.

Shake your hands out and have a few sips of water. Take a deep breath in through your nose. Release the breath slowly and softly through your mouth, making the sound “Ahhhhh” as you do so.

T
APPING
S
EQUENCE
: R
OUNDS
1
THROUGH
3

For Tapping Rounds 1 through 3, tap 7 times on each of the 10 meridian points while repeating the Tapping Script that follows, or create your own script using the Forgiveness Statement entries from your daily journal work as reminder phrases. Using your own personal Forgiveness Statements will keep you laser-focused on your tapping intention as different dimensions of your healing process unfold.

ROUND 1

Tap 7 times on each meridian point while repeating out loud either the statements below or your reminder phrases.

 

 

 

Eyebrow:
I feel really, really angry with my mother.
Side of Eye:
I feel really, really disgusted with my mother.
Under Eye:
I feel really bitter about some of the things my mother has done and not done.
Under Nose:
I absolutely resent some of the things my mother has said and not said.
Chin:
I feel really, really exhausted by my mother.
Collarbone:
I feel angry, bitter, resentful, and damaged by my mother.
Underarm:
I feel that she does not deserve my forgiveness.
Liver:
Even if she does deserve to be forgiven, it need not come from me.
Wrists:
I understand that I’m carrying around a mountain of unforgiveness.
Crown of Head:
I am so profoundly angry with her that I have no other choice.

 

ROUND 2

Tap 7 times on each meridian point while repeating out loud either the statements below or your reminder phrases.

 

 

Eyebrow:
I keep beating my mother up about the past.
Side of Eye:
I’m not going to let her get away with the damage she’s done to me.
Under Eye:
What if forgiving my mother could eliminate the pain and hurt from my life?
Under Nose:
What if I just open my heart to releasing a little bit of this rage?
Chin:
What if I acknowledge that my mother did the best she could?
Collarbone:
I don’t believe that. She did not do the best she could in my life.
Underarm:
What if I just choose to forgive my mother, just as I would forgive anyone else?
Liver:
What if what she did was the best she knew how to do at the time?
Wrists:
What if forgiving my mother, showing her some compassion, takes me into a state of peace and freedom, joy, and happiness?
Crown of Head:
What if I forgive her and nothing happens? Nothing changes?

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